Would you believe..... (a little humor)

[Anonymous]

It smelled like . . . upchuck to me. [:0] [B)] [:(]

You might want to explain . . .

[dharmon]

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

Dried minnows and dried octopus "jerky" ........that's some good eating in Korea

That coming from the same people who make Kim Chee (or however you spell it), NO THANKS. The smell is enough to knock you down. Eating it? Only if you have a death wish! [}:)] [;)]

I love the smell of Kimche in the morning..........it smells like ........Victory

[Anonymous]

From "This Day In History" website:

June 16

1903 The Pepsi Cola Company forms.

1933 U.S. Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) is created.

1995 Salt Lake City, Utah is awarded the XIX Winter Olympics in 2002.


I read that during WWII Coke set up bottleing plants in Europe because the GIs drank so much Coke they could not keep up with the demand. I am one who drinks Diet Coke and I like it much better than Diet Pepsi. Diet Pepsi taste like bottled medicine. YUCK [V] [:(] [:(!]

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

Dried minnows and dried octopus "jerky" ........that's some good eating in Korea

That coming from the same people who make Kim Chee (or however you spell it), NO THANKS. The smell is enough to knock you down. Eating it? Only if you have a death wish! [}:)] [;)]

[dharmon]

QUOTE: Originally posted by tree68

Dried minnows? How about octopus chips? A fellow airman from Hawaii got them in a care package from home when I was stationed in CA. I, too, deferred.

Dried minnows and dried octopus "jerky" ........that's some good eating in Korea

.....if that's all you got to eat.

......wash your hands afterwards

......voice of experience

[tree68]

Dried minnows? How about octopus chips? A fellow airman from Hawaii got them in a care package from home when I was stationed in CA. I, too, deferred.

[Anonymous]

Hump Day Helpers . . . . . . . [:)] [8D] [:)]

Another story [:D] .

And yes, this one is true also. [:D]


While I was attending a Christian College years ago one of the students was from Japan. Man oh man did he make some darn good fried rice. One day I was over at his apartment when he received a care package from Japan. He was so excited and opened it and began eating all the "things" they had sent him. He was only too happy to share some of it with me. The one or two things I tried I just didn't care for at all, shucks no cheeseburger or fries. [:D] He then opened a package that I would say looked like a bag of potato chips. Only his "chips" were not potato chips they were dried minnows. He asked me if I wanted to try one? I replied, "No thanks, Masato, here we use those for fish bait."
[:D] [:p] [:D] [:p] [:D]

[locomutt]

Carl,

That almost reminds me of why waiters carry spoons in their pockets.

[CShaveRR]

"Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?"

"Ummm...the backstroke?"

(Yeah, I know it's an oldie.)

[dharmon]

I think that's called the Ortkins Diet

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by cherokee woman

CUSTOMER: WAITER, THERE'S A FLY IN MY SOUP!

WAITER: PLEASE BE QUIET. EVERYBODY WILL WANT ONE!

Two For Tuesday . . . . . . . [:p] [:)] [8D]


This is a true story. (We haven't had a Jim Story in a while so sit down and shut up. [}:)] [;)] [:p] )

Years ago I attended a church where the Pastor had served in WWII. His service was in the Navy on an aircraft carrier. After the war he and the carrier were in Japan. He was given Shore Patrol duty. He walked his "beat" but when it came time for him to go off duty no one showed up to relieve him. So he was forced to stay out and keep on duty. Naturally he got hungry so he stopped in a little Japanese restaurant. He had some Japenese money and looked at the menu. Since he could not read it, he found something that he knew he had enough money for and pointed to it on the menu. After a few minutes the Japenese waitress came out with a bowl of soup. As he was eating his soup he noticed a white bug in his soup. He motioned for the waitress and she came over. He then pointed toward the bug in his soup. The little waitress headed off to the kitchen. Now the pastor is thinking she will bring him another bowl with no bugs in it. She come back from the kitchen and pours a small bowl of "bugs" into his soup. He was complaining that there WAS a bug in his soup but she thought he was
complaining that there were not enough bugs in his soup. [}:)] He left her money for his soup and a tip, then went back to work hungry.

Got to go now, bedtime. [;)]

[cherokee woman]

CUSTOMER: WAITER, THERE'S A FLY IN MY SOUP!

WAITER: PLEASE BE QUIET. EVERYBODY WILL WANT ONE!

[Noah Hofrichter]

espeefoamer and T scott, your right, that's why I posted it.[:D]

Noah

[vsmith]

Mexican quisine

A big, tall Texan was eating dinner in a local restaurant after a long day
of sightseeing and tequila-sipping in Mexico City. He noticed a sizzling,
scrumptious looking platter being served at the table next to his. Not only
did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter "What is that you just served? "

The waiter replied, "Ah, senor, you have excellent taste. Those are bull's testicles from the bullfight this morning. A delicacy! "

The Texan, although momentarily daunted, said, "What the heck, I'm on vacation.
Bring me an order! "

The waiter replied, "I am so sorry, senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy."

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and then
that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.

After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platte, he called the
waiter over and said, "These are delicious, but they are much smaller than
the ones I saw you serve yesterday."

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied,
"Si, senor, sometimes the bull wins."

[zardoz]

Make sense...
> >
> >
1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?"
She hit me.

4. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

5. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to
you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"

6. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing.
If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

7. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."

8. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

9. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply
press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

10. Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

11. Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

12. Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?

13. Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher....and since it's in English, thank a soldier."

[zardoz]

Explanation of Life
> >
> >
> >
> > On the first day God created the dog. God said,
> > "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at
> > anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you
> > a life span of twenty years.
> >
> >
> >
> > "The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give
> > me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten."
> >
> > So God agreed.
> >
> > On the second day God created the monkey. God said,
> > "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them
> > laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
> >
> > The monkey said," How boring, monkey tricks for
> > twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back
> > ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
> >
> >
> > And God agreed.
> >
> > On the third day God created the cow. God said,
> > "You must go to the field with the farmer all day
> > long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give
> > milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life
> > span of sixty years."
> >
> > The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want
> > me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and
> > I'll give back the other forty."
> >
> >
> >
> > And God agreed again.
> >
> > On the forth day God created man. God said, "Eat,
> > sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give
> > you twenty years." Man said, "What? Only twenty
> > years! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the
> > forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave
> > back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes
> > eighty, okay?"
> >
> >
> > Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."
> >
> > So that is why the first twenty years we eat,
> > sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty
> > years we slave in the sun to support our family; for
> > the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain
> > the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit
> > on the front porch and bark at everyone.
> >
> > Life has now been explained to you. (Pa what did you
> > do to earn a few more years?)

[Anonymous]

Monday Madness . . . . . . . [:)] [:)] [:)]


From the This Day In History website:

June 14

1777 The Continental Congress in Philadelphia adopts the Stars and Stripes as the national flag, replacing the Grand Union flag.

1834 Isaac Fischer Jr. of Springfield, Vermont patents sandpaper.

1942 Walt Disney's Bambi is released.


Gee I didn't realize Bambi was THAT old. [;)]

[Puckdropper]

True story:
We had returned home to Illinois, and at the Lacon United Methodist Church, the sign said, "I've missed you. --God"

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by JoeKoh

Jim just give them chocolate cake
stay safe
joe

Joe [8D]

Give who the cake, the mice or the ladies? [:p] [}:)] [;)]

Or maybe give the ladies a cake with the mice in it. Sorta a Trojan Mice Cake. lol [:D] [}:)] [;)] <Now you see why I keep the mice in the storeroom. [;)] [}:)] [;)] >

[Anonymous]

Aye!- I second that motion! (all opposed-same sign)

[espeefoamer]

Noah, How true![:)]

[Noah Hofrichter]

Saw this one on a sign besides a church:

The big bang therory:
God said it and,
Bang!
It happened[:D]

Noah

[JoeKoh]

Jim just give them chocolate cake
stay safe
joe

[cherokee woman]

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

QUOTE: Originally posted by cherokee woman

Yes, Jim, you can come out of the stock room. That's a very good piece there. But . . .
PLEASE remove the mice from the stockroom.

WHY [:)]

I like them, they are my "friends". They don't eat much, AND they are good for keeping certain "types of people" out of the storeroom. [:D] [;)] [:D] (mainly the females--so I can hide in peace lol lol lol ) [:D] [}:)] [;)] [8D] [:D]

But Jim, WHY would you want to hide in the storeroom[?][:0] We forum members of the
female population are your friends also[:D][}:)] WE would'nt harm you any at all[:p][}:)]

[Noah Hofrichter]

I like that last one Jim, as well as all the teacher jokes. Most of teacher ones were exactly true too![:D]

Noah

[Anonymous]

A few more funnies for the day. [:D] [;)] [:D]



Gary and Keith were chatting by the office coffee
maker.

"I had the most bizarre dream the night before last,"
Gary declared, "All night there was just this huge
glowing number 5. It was made of gold and sparkled
with diamonds."

Keith raised an eyebrow and responded, "Interesting.
So what'd ya do?"

"The first thing that I did in the morning was to grab
the daily racing digest and look up the fifth race and
the #5 horse in the fifth race was named 'The Fifth
Element.'"

Keith started grinning.

"I was sure that this was a sign," explained Gary,
"so...
- I ate five bowls of cereal for breakfast and drank
five cups of coffee
- I went for a five mile jog to clear my head
- I took a five minute shower
- I dressed in the fifth suit I found in my closet
- I sat in my car for five minutes before starting it
up
- I drove to the racetrack and parked in the fifth
stall in the fifth row
- I entered through the fifth admissions gate
- I bought five programs
- I went to the fifth betting window and bet $5 on the
fifth horse in the fifth race
- I went and sat in the fifth row of the bleachers
making sure there were five people sitting on either
side of me. I settled in and waited for the race to
start."

"Well," wondered Keith, "Did the horse win?"

Gary smiled, "Of course not, he came in fifth."




Last Laugh


A Texan stood in London looking at a large building. A
British boy walked by and stood beside the American.

"You know," said the Texan, "in the States we have
that kind of building too, but they are four times
higher."

"Really?" replied the boy. "How sad. That is a mental
hospital."

[Anonymous]

Saturday's Silly Season . . . . . . . [:)] [:)] [:)]


The other night I went to one of them special clubs, you know the ones where they have female dancers and poles. This one "cutie" really caught my eye. She was a brown eyed beauty.


http://www.departmentofmysteries.com/jhhtrainsplanes/001.jpg



Just picture "her" in a bikini. [:D] [;)] [:D]


Well the pic didn't work so I hope the link does.

Thanks to Nora for hosting the pic. [:D]

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by cherokee woman

Yes, Jim, you can come out of the stock room. That's a very good piece there. But . . .
PLEASE remove the mice from the stockroom.

WHY [:)]

I like them, they are my "friends". They don't eat much, AND they are good for keeping certain "types of people" out of the storeroom. [:D] [;)] [:D] (mainly the females--so I can hide in peace lol lol lol ) [:D] [}:)] [;)] [8D] [:D]

[cherokee woman]

Yes, Jim, you can come out of the stock room. That's a very good piece there. But . . .
PLEASE remove the mice from the stockroom.

[Anonymous]

Finally F R I D A Y . . . . . . . [:)] [:p] [:)]

(But I am having another week without a day off [:(] )


Maybe I can come out of the storeroom on this one. (Don't tell anyone where I hide, I don't want too much company back there. I like to eat in peace, just me and the mice. [}:)] [;)] )


TEACHERS

After being interviewed by the school administration,
the eager teaching prospect said: "Let me see if I've
got this right.

You want me to go into that room with all those kids
and fill their every waking moment with a love for
learning." And I'm supposed to instill a sense of
pride in their ethnicity, modify their disruptive
behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and
even censor their T-shirt messages and dress habits.

You want me to wage a war on drugs and sexually
transmitted diseases, check their backpacks for
weapons of mass destruction,and raise their
self-esteem.

You want me to teach them patriotism, good
citizenship, sportsmanship, and fair play, how and
where to register to vote, how to balance a checkbook,
and how to apply for a job.

I am to check their heads for lice, maintain a safe
environment, recognize signs of antisocial behavior,
offer advice, write letters of recommendation for
student employment and scholarships, encourage respect
for their elders and future employers.

And I am to communicate regularly with the parents by
letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.

All of this I am to do with just a piece of chalk, a
computer, a few books, a bulletin board, and a big
smile AND on a starting salary that qualifies my
family for food stamps!

You want me to do all of this, and you expect me NOT
TO PRAY?"

~Teacher Unknown~