QUOTE: Originally posted by Rick Gates Did you hear about the Railfans. Let's call them, uh, Mikey and Jeff. They attended a local meeting of Raifans each week to exchange sightings, info, pics, stories, etc. They were so delighted with this fellowship of kindred spirits and, became such close friends, that they made a pact with each other to answer the question if there are railroads in heaven. The pact? Whoever dies first, must attempt to communicate with the other and let him know. Years pass, and Mikey passes on. After a week, his spirit appears to Jeff. Jeff says excitedly, "You kept the promise Mikey! Tell me, are there railroads in heaven! Mikey's spirit replys, "Jeff, my friend, I have good news and bad news. The good news is, there are railroads in heaven and we have great meetings all the time about them." Jeff says, "That's terrific! What's the bad news?" Mikey's spirit replies, " Well, you're leading tomorrow's meeting!" [:-^]
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes Finally Friday . . . . (and none toooo soon) . . . . [:0] [:)] The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes Finally Friday . . . . (and none toooo soon) . . . . [:0] [:)] It is illegal to kill "any living creature".
Have fun with your trains
She who has no signature! cinscocom-tmw
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes Saturday's Silly Season . . . . . [:)] People Who Should've Won This Years Nobel Prize 1. Britney Spears & Eminem Who, combined, have written more books than they''ve read. [:0] 2. Dr. Phil Mcgraw Who has managed to convince millions of women to buy his self-help books, despite the fact that his most hight-profile patient, Oprah Winfrey, is an overweight woman with serious commitment issues. 3. America''s Oil Companies For a lifetime body of work proving that oil and water don''t mix. (Well I wi***hey would stop trying to mix the two, my truck doesn't like their current mixture--too much water [:(!] ) 4. Yasser Arafat & Ariel Sharon For those 2 consecutive days last March when no Israelis or Palestinians killed each other. 5. Bill Gates For creating the X-Box and convincing Americans that their children need a $200 video game system during a recession. 6. The Editors of Maxim For managing to create 300 magazine pages a month using no other subjects besides beer and models. (I wonder if THIS is Kev's fav mag. No probally not, I think I remember him memtioning Playboy a while back [}:)] [;)] ) 7. Jared Of the Subway Sandwich fame, whose claim of losing hundreds of pounds and achieving optimum health by eating nothing but oversized, greasy heroes was questioned by no one. 8. Jennifer Lopez Who, in conjunction with DuPont, developed a synthetic fabric capable of containing her [censored] caboose. [:D] [:D] [:D] 9. That 300 Pound Guy Who always manages to jam himself into the coach seat right next to yours on coast to coast flights. (Well the seats are made for "bulimic teens anyway [:(] ) 10. Glaxo Who has managed to make "loose stools" a side effect of every one of the drugs it produces. (hmmm, thank God I don't use it [:p] ) These came from www.jokes.com [:)] With Jim adding the additional comments [:D]
Deshler Ohio-crossroads of the B&O Matt eats your fries.YUM! Clinton st viaduct undefeated against too tall trucks!!!(voted to be called the "Clinton St. can opener").
QUOTE: Originally posted by JoeKoh Early to bed early to rise fish like heck and prepare the lies stay safe joe
QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie Marriage turns passion into sleeping with a relative!
Carl
Railroader Emeritus (practiced railroading for 46 years--and in 2010 I finally got it right!)
CAACSCOCOM--I don't want to behave improperly, so I just won't behave at all. (SM)
QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie Marriage turns passion into sleeping with a relative! And just what exactly is wrong with that? My my ex-wife is still my favorite cousin.
QUOTE: Originally posted by CShaveRR More convinced than ever that you're part of the family, Kiddo!
QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie Marriage turns passion into sleeping with a relative! And just what exactly is wrong with that? My my ex-wife is still my favorite cousin. Dan, Dan Dan!
QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie Since you mentioned Thingies - (my department) - must tell you that if you ever want a side-splitting experience - take the Mookie fishing. The driver finally gave up! Been known to fish in trees and weeds alike! Sit in a directors chair and lean over to get bait and end up on the ground - (a la Artie Johnson - Laugh in - he rode a small tricycle and came to a complete halt and just fell over sideways!) Sunburn easily, so have clothes that cover ever inch of exposed skin and then hold an umbrella for shade. Darn near caused a wreck over that one. Can't swim, so stay way back from edge of water and let driver untangle line, retrieve line and help get fish out of water. I can take fish off hook, just can't throw it back into water in front of me - lots ended up in dirt behind me - still don't know how I did that! Casting is a science unto itself. Haven't made a lake big enough for me to cast and get it where I want! Usually ends up across someone's line not even close to me! See above weeds and trees. But then, I don't bowl or play pool for the same reasons! But - I did hear two funnies - at least I thought they were - I don't do drugs any more! Now I can get the same result just standing up! Marriage turns passion into sleeping with a relative!
QUOTE: Originally posted by espeefoamer QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie Since you mentioned Thingies - (my department) - must tell you that if you ever want a side-splitting experience - take the Mookie fishing. The driver finally gave up! Been known to fish in trees and weeds alike! Sit in a directors chair and lean over to get bait and end up on the ground - (a la Artie Johnson - Laugh in - he rode a small tricycle and came to a complete halt and just fell over sideways!) Sunburn easily, so have clothes that cover ever inch of exposed skin and then hold an umbrella for shade. Darn near caused a wreck over that one. Can't swim, so stay way back from edge of water and let driver untangle line, retrieve line and help get fish out of water. I can take fish off hook, just can't throw it back into water in front of me - lots ended up in dirt behind me - still don't know how I did that! Casting is a science unto itself. Haven't made a lake big enough for me to cast and get it where I want! Usually ends up across someone's line not even close to me! See above weeds and trees. But then, I don't bowl or play pool for the same reasons! But - I did hear two funnies - at least I thought they were - I don't do drugs any more! Now I can get the same result just standing up! Marriage turns passion into sleeping with a relative! Mookie,dont feel too bad.Once in a gym class in high school,I kicked a football, and it landed behind me.
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes Hump Day Helpers [8D] [:)] [:p] Today's Jokes [^] They say that a preacher's wife is always his number one assistant. An example of this comes one Sunday morning after the preacher had just finished his sermon. He went and sat down with his wife and she asked him how he thought the church service went. The Preacher shrugged and said, "The worship was excellent, and I think the prayer time went quite well, but," he continued, "I just don't think the sermon ever got off the ground." The wife looked over at him, and before she could stop herself, she said, "Well, it sure did taxi long enough!" [:D] [:)] [;)] Old Math [:D] Noah opens up the ark and lets all the animals out, telling them to "Go forth and multiply." He's closing the great doors of the ark when he notices that there are two snakes sitting in a dark corner. So he says to them, "Didn't you hear me? You can go now. Go forth and multiply." "We can't," said the snakes, "We're adders." [:)] [;)]
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