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Would you believe..... (a little humor) Locked

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Posted by zardoz on Thursday, March 11, 2004 10:11 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

This is way toooo funny for words.

[:o)] [:D] [;)]

Nobody ever said that the common criminal was smart. [}:)] [:p]

Check this out. [:D]

http://www.bullguard.com/badnews/



Truly a classic!!
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Posted by locomutt on Thursday, March 11, 2004 12:13 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

This is way toooo funny for words.

[:o)] [:D] [;)]

Nobody ever said that the common criminal was smart. [}:)] [:p]

Check this out. [:D]

http://www.bullguard.com/badnews/




That is too funny for words[:D] Zardoz,that is a CLASSIC++++!![:D]
Jim,where the HECK do you find some of these[?][swg]

Being Crazy,keeps you from going "INSANE" !! "The light at the end of the tunnel,has been turned off due to budget cuts" NOT AFRAID A Vet., and PROUD OF IT!!

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Posted by Mookie on Thursday, March 11, 2004 12:29 PM
Mookie's mouf hurts from laughing!

She who has no signature! cinscocom-tmw

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Posted by cherokee woman on Thursday, March 11, 2004 2:48 PM
So does cherokee woman's!! OUCH!!!!!!
Angel cherokee woman "O'Toole's law: Murphy was an optimist."
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Posted by Rick Gates on Thursday, March 11, 2004 3:44 PM
I think I was locked up with thise guys Jim![(-D][(-D]
Railroaders do it on steel
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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, March 12, 2004 1:19 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by locomutt

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

This is way toooo funny for words.

[:o)] [:D] [;)]

Nobody ever said that the common criminal was smart. [}:)] [:p]

Check this out. [:D]

http://www.bullguard.com/badnews/




That is too funny for words[:D] Zardoz,that is a CLASSIC++++!![:D]
Jim,where the HECK do you find some of these[?][swg]


Some are emailed to me from friends or family, some are emailed from a business and even now and then I find some on my own.


You know, I was just thinking . . . it is too bad there were not three of them. Strike one, strike two, and # 3, your OUT. (Get it -- OUT LOL)
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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, March 12, 2004 1:32 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

Thursday's Humor Paper . . . . . . . [:p]

This came to me from a guy at work. He said it came from Car Talk.


Husband 1.0


Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry application, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NHL 4.3, MLB 3.0 and NBA 3.6.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate


Credit: Darrell Knowles


In the Finally Friday's edition I will show the Tech Support reply. [}:)] [:p] [;)]






TECH SUPPORT CONTINUTED


Dear Desperate:

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try to enter the command: "C:/IThoughYouLovedMe" to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

Remember, though, that overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly 10.8. Whatever you do:DO NOT INSTALL Mother-In-Law 1.9 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and canot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recomment Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

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Posted by edblysard on Friday, March 12, 2004 6:57 AM
How in the world did they get two trainmsters in the same place at the same time, without one of them wearing golf shoes and the other one conducting a "safety test?"
Ed

Ed

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Posted by tree68 on Friday, March 12, 2004 7:03 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by edblysard

How in the world did they get two trainmsters in the same place at the same time, without one of them wearing golf shoes and the other one conducting a "safety test?"
Ed

Ed

The one on the left conducted (and failed) a safety test (the window passed, though). I couldn't tell if the one on the right had golf shoes or not, but he might have!

LarryWhistling
Resident Microferroequinologist (at least at my house) 
Everyone goes home; Safety begins with you
My Opinion. Standard Disclaimers Apply. No Expiration Date
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There's one thing about humility - the moment you think you've got it, you've lost it...

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Posted by edblysard on Friday, March 12, 2004 7:40 AM
You know they have to be trainmasters...
The first one has no idea what's about to happen, the second one screws it all up, neither one of them has a clue what they are doing, and both of them end up screwing themselves over, all without help from a single soul.

Ed

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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, March 12, 2004 9:18 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by edblysard

You know they have to be trainmasters...
The first one has no idea what's about to happen, the second one screws it all up, neither one of them has a clue what they are doing, and both of them end up screwing themselves over, all without help from a single soul.

Ed



That is almost as funny as watching the vid. [:D] [;)]
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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, March 12, 2004 11:40 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by Rick Gates

I think I was locked up with thise guys Jim![(-D][(-D]


LOL Rick, although I really should be laughing, but what you said was Funny.
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Posted by vsmith on Friday, March 12, 2004 3:02 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

This is way toooo funny for words.

[:o)] [:D] [;)]

Nobody ever said that the common criminal was smart. [}:)] [:p]

Check this out. [:D]

http://www.bullguard.com/badnews/



Shouldnt open these at work, get strange looks from people...

Laughed my head off...

   Have fun with your trains

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Posted by vsmith on Friday, March 12, 2004 3:11 PM
I actually saved this product site, can use it for some of my projects. LOL

   Have fun with your trains

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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, March 12, 2004 9:58 PM
Some more funnies. [:o)] [:I] [8)] [;)] [:)]


A man was searching the dictionary for the word (Dictionary) he
found this meaning: [8D]

Dictionary is the thing which you are holding, Stupid! [:0]

So he searched for the Word (Stupid) he found : is that you again? [B)] lol lol lol



Walt send me this one. [:)]


http://www.funsilly.com/marthamag.html



OK, that is good for now. Enjoy.



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Posted by Rick Gates on Saturday, March 13, 2004 12:23 AM
Patrick O'Riley finds himself with the unhappy task of delivering bad news. He knocks on the door and confronts Mrs. Flannagan. "Lassy, I'm sorry. I have terrible news to bring. There's been an accident at the brewery involving your husband." Oh Lord!" exclaims Mrs. Flannagan, My Sean! Is he dead?" "Aye Lass," replies Patrick. "What happened?" asks the Mrs. Patrick goes one to tell her that in the course of his duties her husband had fallen in one of the large vats of the company's best brew. "My God," exclaims the wife, "Please tell me though Patrick. Was it a quick and painless death for my Sean? Did he suffer?" "Nay Lass." Replies Patrick, "The fact is, he got out to pee three times!"
Railroaders do it on steel
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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, March 13, 2004 10:04 AM
Saturday Silly Season . . . . . [:o)] [:I] [:o)] [:)] [:o)] [:p]



Here is a link to the "Excuse Generator". If you need some new (and far out) excuses this will give you some ideas. [;)] Walt email this link to me. [:)] (By the way, Walt, Larry, Marty and our other firefighters, past and present, one of the excuses includes a firetruck, sorry though no trains. [:(]


http://www.goofyhumor.com/flash/flash.php?f=excusegen.swf




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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, March 13, 2004 10:09 AM
LOL

Sorry Jim, I can't Beacuse i have to

Drive My Hot Aunt

Ewwwwww.
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Posted by Rick Gates on Saturday, March 13, 2004 2:17 PM
More of a riddle.......Can any of our historians name the 6 American Presidents that were not buried on American soil? [:-,]
Railroaders do it on steel
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Posted by Nora on Saturday, March 13, 2004 2:51 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by Rick Gates

More of a riddle.......Can any of our historians name the 6 American Presidents that were not buried on American soil? [:-,]


Could it be Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton and Bush? [:D]

--Nora
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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, March 13, 2004 3:14 PM
What's the Riddle part?
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Posted by locomutt on Saturday, March 13, 2004 3:40 PM
Jim,

You must've played with that excuse thingy for awhile,my eyes are still spinning
from earlier. I never did find the firetruck.

Nora,I believe you are quite right,since you don't bury living people.

Being Crazy,keeps you from going "INSANE" !! "The light at the end of the tunnel,has been turned off due to budget cuts" NOT AFRAID A Vet., and PROUD OF IT!!

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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, March 13, 2004 3:50 PM
OH i get it!!!
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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, March 13, 2004 3:52 PM
I forogt to factor in they were still Alive
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Posted by edblysard on Saturday, March 13, 2004 4:27 PM
Yeah Kevin,
Its a real pain when live people keep showing up....
Ed

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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, March 13, 2004 4:36 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by locomutt

Jim,

You must've played with that excuse thingy for awhile,my eyes are still spinning
from earlier. I never did find the firetruck.



Actually I only did it about 5 or 6 times and got "firetruck" about 3 times. It was in the last window.
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Posted by Rick Gates on Saturday, March 13, 2004 5:05 PM
Yes! We have our winning historian! Live. From above ground, it's Nora! [:D]
Railroaders do it on steel
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Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, March 14, 2004 8:01 AM
Sunday Edition [:)]

No joke today. [:(]

But I just noticed (and was waiting for) this thread now has over 12,000 views. Isn't that amazing. [:)]

Everyone gets credit for reading and posting in this year. It is the most popular thread in this forum. I am not sure about all the other forums but this is an accomplishment for this forum. [8D]

Special thanks to zardoz for starting this thread. [:)]

Special thanks to everyone who reads or posts in this thread. [;)]

I am looking forward to the next 12,000 views.

So bring on the jokes, stories, links, and whatever. [:o)] [:I] [;)]
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Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, March 14, 2004 1:13 PM
Today's Dilbert was a real good one in the Sunday Province...

I'll explain it best I can...

An employee comes up to ask the boss for a day off so she can go to her twin sisters funeral.....

The boss says why do you want the whole day off to visit a funeral that will only last 15 minutes!!

The employee says that it was her twin!

The boss says, yeah but you weren't identical twins....

The employee says how could you possibly be any more insensitive!

The boss says, ok let's make a deal, you can have the whole day off, if you take my gerbil, who's on his last legs, and put him in the coffin, so I don't have to bury him myself.

The employee says how much longer is he going to live?

The boss says...............depends how much your sister weighs.



OOOOHHHHH, haha [:D]
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Posted by zardoz on Sunday, March 14, 2004 3:02 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

Sunday Edition [:)]

No joke today. [:(]

But I just noticed (and was waiting for) this thread now has over 12,000 views. Isn't that amazing. [:)]

Everyone gets credit for reading and posting in this year. It is the most popular thread in this forum. I am not sure about all the other forums but this is an accomplishment for this forum. [8D]

Special thanks to zardoz for starting this thread. [:)]

Special thanks to everyone who reads or posts in this thread. [;)]

I am looking forward to the next 12,000 views.

So bring on the jokes, stories, links, and whatever. [:o)] [:I] [;)]




Thanks, Jim. And kudos to you for being a regualar contributor to this thread. [tup] Your "today's funnies" are something I look for each time I log on.

And I would also like to thank everyone for their many contributions over these last 5½ months. (do you realize this thread averages 73 views per day!)[bow]

When I began this thread I had no idea I was creating a monster [;)]

WE'RE #1

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