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Would you believe..... (a little humor) Locked

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Posted by locomutt on Friday, January 30, 2004 9:50 AM
Way to go Mook. I won't say what Walt's comment was except it was [censored], and
said he didn't know how Tree would react to your statement[:O][8]

cherokee woman[}:)]

Being Crazy,keeps you from going "INSANE" !! "The light at the end of the tunnel,has been turned off due to budget cuts" NOT AFRAID A Vet., and PROUD OF IT!!

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Posted by vsmith on Friday, January 30, 2004 10:08 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by tree68

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

I am putting this here as a P S A (Public Service Announcement).

I have my doubts as to "IF" it is true or not, but I would feel real bad if it were true and I didn't at least say something about it (and someone was hurt because of it). There is a ton of junk floating around on the interent that is nothing but pure garbage. Who starts it all I don't know. A lot of it finds it way into my email account. I read it and delete it most of the time. But I am going to share just a small piece of this email I received just as a precaution. As I said , I doubt it is true, but just to be safe I will pass a little of it on to you :


I have been asked by state and local authorities to write
this email in order to get the word out to car drivers of a very
dangerous prank that is occurring in numerous states. Some person or persons
have been affixing hypodermic needles to the underside of gas pump
handles!


OK, this is all I am going to cut and paste into this post. When you do buy gas in the near future, just to be safe, do check the handle of the gas pump BEFORE you touch it.

I am putting this here because this thread is one that most forum members check out at least once a day. I have also referred to it as The Humor Thread Paper, so it is "fitting" that it be here.

As Joe would say . . . Stay Safe.



Probably find this on the Urban Legends pages - it's been around for a long time. Not that some yahoo won't see it sometime and think it'll be fun to try...


URBAN LEGEND

AND NOT A GOOD ONE AT THAT...[:D]

Maybe I should start an Urban Legen tread, to "educate and inform" our fair reader as to recocnized when their being Bullsh***d....[:D]

   Have fun with your trains

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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 30, 2004 10:54 AM
And a headless Train conductor walks the now single track in search of his long lost head with a lantern that aways from side to side, a bright amber light that can be seen for miles..

or so they say...

I've walked those tracks many times, and i didn't see S**&.
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Posted by vsmith on Friday, January 30, 2004 11:07 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by kevinstheRRman

And a headless Train conductor walks the now single track in search of his long lost head with a lantern that aways from side to side, a bright amber light that can be seen for miles..

or so they say...

I've walked those tracks many times, and i didn't see S**&.



Thats because you weren't drunk off your *ss walking home, startling a very surprised and angry Opposum which growled and hissed at your chemical filled mind leaving a very different memory,

Hence here in the southwest and Mexico we get the Legend of the Chupacabra![}:)]

Next time try walking the same stretch of track after downing a bottle of Vicks Formula 44 couch syrup, I garrentee you'll see something![:p]

   Have fun with your trains

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Posted by dharmon on Friday, January 30, 2004 11:30 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by vsmith

QUOTE: Originally posted by kevinstheRRman

And a headless Train conductor walks the now single track in search of his long lost head with a lantern that aways from side to side, a bright amber light that can be seen for miles..

or so they say...

I've walked those tracks many times, and i didn't see S**&.



Thats because you weren't drunk off your *ss walking home, startling a very surprised and angry Opposum which growled and hissed at your chemical filled mind leaving a very different memory,

Hence here in the southwest and Mexico we get the Legend of the Chupacabra![}:)]

Next time try walking the same stretch of track after downing a bottle of Vicks Formula 44 couch syrup, I garrentee you'll see something![:p]


So if I'm walking along the railroad tracks and I find the trainman's head....is it railroad property or can I keep it and sell it on Ebay?
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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 30, 2004 11:41 AM
THATS RR PROPERTY SON! , The interior of the eye sockets will clearly read CP RAIL!
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Posted by Mookie on Friday, January 30, 2004 12:08 PM
[:D] again!

She who has no signature! cinscocom-tmw

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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 30, 2004 12:11 PM
Thats if you even find the head, Dan, this conductor has been looking for 70 years! Fat chance you'll find it.
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Posted by vsmith on Friday, January 30, 2004 12:19 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

QUOTE: Originally posted by vsmith

QUOTE: Originally posted by kevinstheRRman

And a headless Train conductor walks the now single track in search of his long lost head with a lantern that aways from side to side, a bright amber light that can be seen for miles..

or so they say...

I've walked those tracks many times, and i didn't see S**&.



Thats because you weren't drunk off your *ss walking home, startling a very surprised and angry Opposum which growled and hissed at your chemical filled mind leaving a very different memory,

Hence here in the southwest and Mexico we get the Legend of the Chupacabra![}:)]

Next time try walking the same stretch of track after downing a bottle of Vicks Formula 44 couch syrup, I garrentee you'll see something![:p]


So if I'm walking along the railroad tracks and I find the trainman's head....is it railroad property or can I keep it and sell it on Ebay?


Ebay Ebay

Thats like a cartoon from Gary Larsons "Far Side" where a teacher standing in front of her class saying" and now little Bobby will tell us all about what he found on the beach last summer.." we see little Bobby standing behind here carrying a large jar with a human head in it![xx(][:D]

   Have fun with your trains

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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, January 31, 2004 8:35 AM
Saturday's Silly Season [:D]


Nora sent me this. [:I] [:o)]



Pecans in the Cemetery

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just
inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts
and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. "One
for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to
investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you
one for me." He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and

rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan

and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."

The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk." When
the boy insisted though, the man hobbled to the cemetery. Standing by the
fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..."

The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' the truth. Let's see if wecan
see the Lord." Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence yet were
still unable to see anything.

The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence
tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go
get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."

......They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of
the boy on the bike.

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Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, February 1, 2004 6:45 AM
Time for the Sunday Funnies . . . . . [:)]


Today is Sunday, a day many of us attend Church services. The following link is appropriate for Sunday. It is not a funny story, but a sad one. It does serve to remind us to look on the inside and see the heart and character and not just judge by the cover.

Thanks to Walt and Paula for sending me the story.


http://www.debsfunpages.com/ugly.htm
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Posted by locomutt on Sunday, February 1, 2004 8:13 AM
Another good one for Sunday.

One year ago today,7 people give their all doing
a job that they wanted to do.

Space Shuttle Columbia 1 year later

Try the link at:http://www.dobhran.com/greetings/GRcolumbia.htm

locomutt

Being Crazy,keeps you from going "INSANE" !! "The light at the end of the tunnel,has been turned off due to budget cuts" NOT AFRAID A Vet., and PROUD OF IT!!

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Posted by locomutt on Sunday, February 1, 2004 8:27 AM
Another good one for Sunday (anytime for that matter)

This comes from the"BOSS"
http://www.dobhran.com/greetings/GRinspire247.htm

Being Crazy,keeps you from going "INSANE" !! "The light at the end of the tunnel,has been turned off due to budget cuts" NOT AFRAID A Vet., and PROUD OF IT!!

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Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, February 1, 2004 12:45 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by locomutt

Another good one for Sunday (anytime for that matter)

This comes from the"BOSS"
http://www.dobhran.com/greetings/GRinspire247.htm


That was a really good card Locomutt, thanks for sharing.
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Posted by vsmith on Sunday, February 1, 2004 10:58 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by locomutt

Another good one for Sunday.

One year ago today,7 people give their all doing
a job that they wanted to do.

Space Shuttle Columbia 1 year later

Try the link at:http://www.dobhran.com/greetings/GRcolumbia.htm

locomutt


Heard a really really really bad and truely tasteless NASA joke the other day, but I dont want to offend anyone here so I'll zip it.

Tough enough the President wants to talk about sending astronuats back to the moon and onto Mars knowing it will take at least 10 more years just to relace the Shuttle system with a new vehicle. We aint going to be on Mars for another 50 years at the rate Congress supports space travel. Oh Well, the Russians will always have rockets we can hitch a lift on, right?

   Have fun with your trains

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Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, February 1, 2004 11:32 PM
Time for Monday Madness . . . . . [:)]

Jim and Vic [:D]
Yall should like these. [;)]



Word Play


Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A backward poet writes inverse.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is
two-tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead
giveaway.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your
count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but
broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully
recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the
key.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: It taint yours and it taint
mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a
small medium at large.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.



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Posted by locomutt on Monday, February 2, 2004 7:08 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

Time for Monday Madness . . . . . [:)]

Jim and Vic [:D]
Yall should like these. [;)]



Word Play


Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A backward poet writes inverse.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is
two-tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead
giveaway.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your
count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but
broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully
recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the
key.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: It taint yours and it taint
mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a
small medium at large.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.








Yeah,now about the "shotgun"wedding.

You know it is a "FORMAL AFFAIR" when the shotgun is painted white.

Being Crazy,keeps you from going "INSANE" !! "The light at the end of the tunnel,has been turned off due to budget cuts" NOT AFRAID A Vet., and PROUD OF IT!!

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Posted by cherokee woman on Monday, February 2, 2004 7:48 AM
Jim, WHERE in tarnation did you FIND this [censored][?] piece of [censored][?]

You guys REALLY take the CAKE!![:0][:p]
Angel cherokee woman "O'Toole's law: Murphy was an optimist."
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Posted by zardoz on Monday, February 2, 2004 9:14 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by cherokee woman

Jim, WHERE in tarnation did you FIND this [censored][?] piece of [censored][?]

You guys REALLY take the CAKE!![:0][:p]



Well, I thought they were clever and funny!
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Posted by locomutt on Monday, February 2, 2004 10:28 AM
Don't you mean clever and CORNY[?]

cherokee woman

Being Crazy,keeps you from going "INSANE" !! "The light at the end of the tunnel,has been turned off due to budget cuts" NOT AFRAID A Vet., and PROUD OF IT!!

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Posted by CShaveRR on Monday, February 2, 2004 11:05 AM
Hmmm...it must not have been the Cherokees who introduced corn to the pilgrims...

Carl

Railroader Emeritus (practiced railroading for 46 years--and in 2010 I finally got it right!)

CAACSCOCOM--I don't want to behave improperly, so I just won't behave at all. (SM)

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Posted by cherokee woman on Monday, February 2, 2004 1:13 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by CShaveRR

Hmmm...it must not have been the Cherokees who introduced corn to the pilgrims...


Nope, if I remember my history books correctly, it was one of the NORTHERN tribes.[:D][:D]
Angel cherokee woman "O'Toole's law: Murphy was an optimist."
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Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, February 3, 2004 12:58 AM
Time for the Tuesday edition . . . . . [:)]



A young man goes in to meet his future father-in-law
for the first time. He introduces himself, then says,
"I've come to ask for your daughter's hand."

The father asks, "The big one or the little one?"

"What?" the suitor asks. "Aren't both hands the same
size?"





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Posted by CShaveRR on Tuesday, February 3, 2004 10:55 AM
I, for one, think the father-in-law-to-be deserved that; he's apparently somewhat distanced from both daughters.

Carl
(father of two blondes)

Carl

Railroader Emeritus (practiced railroading for 46 years--and in 2010 I finally got it right!)

CAACSCOCOM--I don't want to behave improperly, so I just won't behave at all. (SM)

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Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, February 3, 2004 11:20 AM
I'd say i don't get it...

but i've said that enough over the lastfew days.. i'll let someone else ask
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Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, February 3, 2004 11:21 AM
OH i get it, two daughters, two hands

D'uh

Stop looking at me like that.
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Posted by tree68 on Tuesday, February 3, 2004 11:36 AM
Blonde?

LarryWhistling
Resident Microferroequinologist (at least at my house) 
Everyone goes home; Safety begins with you
My Opinion. Standard Disclaimers Apply. No Expiration Date
Come ride the rails with me!
There's one thing about humility - the moment you think you've got it, you've lost it...

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Posted by rrnut282 on Tuesday, February 3, 2004 11:44 AM
I can top Carl. I have three daughters, one of each.
Mike (2-8-2)
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Posted by locomutt on Tuesday, February 3, 2004 11:50 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by tree68

Blonde?


[}:)]UH, Larry were you asking about Kevin,or the daughters[?]

Being Crazy,keeps you from going "INSANE" !! "The light at the end of the tunnel,has been turned off due to budget cuts" NOT AFRAID A Vet., and PROUD OF IT!!

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Posted by tree68 on Tuesday, February 3, 2004 12:23 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by locomutt

QUOTE: Originally posted by tree68

Blonde?


[}:)]UH, Larry were you asking about Kevin,or the daughters[?]


Kevin actually.....

My daughter is a brunette with tinges of red - but always slaps my hand away when she does a "blonde-ism" and I reach for her hair to check the color....[:D]

LarryWhistling
Resident Microferroequinologist (at least at my house) 
Everyone goes home; Safety begins with you
My Opinion. Standard Disclaimers Apply. No Expiration Date
Come ride the rails with me!
There's one thing about humility - the moment you think you've got it, you've lost it...

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