QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes Well it is after midnight (on the east coast anyway lol) so here is the . . . Monday Madness edition of the paper. This really isn't humorus so we will call it a news story. Service call of the month from a Baltimore Gas & Electric residential customer .... BGE received a call from a customer saying: "My power is out. When you come to fix it be sure to bring a truck with a tall enough bucket to remove the deer". The customer service representative, prudently trying to gather helpful information to help diagnose the problem asked, "What deer"? The customer replied, "There's a deer on top of one of the electric poles on Wilkes Road, about 1/2 mile west of Perimeter Road". The customer service rep tried desperately to pull herself together and not laugh in front at the customer and replied, "We will dispatch someone right away to investigate the power outage. Thank you for the call." Upon completion of the call, the customer service rep shared the funny story with her coworkers in the office, and they all had a good laugh. Well, lo and behold, the serviceman who repaired the problem stopped by the customer service office the following day with these pictures. http://www.trainweb.org/stlrailfanning/ATT00007.jpg http://www.trainweb.org/stlrailfanning/ATT00013.jpg There is more to the story but I have lost the text of it. It turns out a train had hit the deer knocking it upon the poll. Like I said, not humorus but definately different.
Have fun with your trains
QUOTE: Originally posted by vsmith Whistle the theme to Good, Bad and the Ugly while reading this one... A sheriff in a small town walked out in the street and saw a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots. So the sheriff arrested him for indecent exposure. As he was locking him up he asked "Why in the world are you dressed like this?" The Cowboy said, "Well it's like this Sheriff... I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asked me to go out to her motor home with her....and I did. "We went inside and she pulled off her top and asked me to pull off my shirt, .... so I did.... "Then she pulled off her skirt and asked me to pull off my pants... so I did... "Then she pulled off her panties and asked me to pull off my shorts... So I did... "Then she got on the bed, looked at me kind of funny and said, Now go to town cowboy.... "So here I am!"
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes QUOTE: Originally posted by vsmith Whistle the theme to Good, Bad and the Ugly while reading this one... A sheriff in a small town walked out in the street and saw a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots. So the sheriff arrested him for indecent exposure. As he was locking him up he asked "Why in the world are you dressed like this?" The Cowboy said, "Well it's like this Sheriff... I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asked me to go out to her motor home with her....and I did. "We went inside and she pulled off her top and asked me to pull off my shirt, .... so I did.... "Then she pulled off her skirt and asked me to pull off my pants... so I did... "Then she pulled off her panties and asked me to pull off my shorts... So I did... "Then she got on the bed, looked at me kind of funny and said, Now go to town cowboy.... "So here I am!" No, he wasn't from Arkansas. [:p] He was from . . . auuu . . . well I better not say. [;)]
QUOTE: Originally posted by Oliver Trzok [sigh] I missed Zardoz! OK now, I missed the rest of you guys, too (I don't have a computer at home and yesterday was very busy here at work), but I also actually missed the movie "Zardoz". A private TV station from a small town here in Croatia showed it last thursday, and I learned about it on friday. On friday, on the other hand, our national TV was showing "Peacemaker" with Nicole Kidman and George Clooney, starting with a train chase with a Russian steam locomotive and a Russian diesel, and I think later you get to see a Croatian locomotive or two and some Croatian actors, but I didn't watch the rest of the movie this time, and it has been long since I saw it for the first time, so I don't remember it too well. [:I] Hope I made myself clear, and if not, it doesn't matter anyway, you're not missing much. Have fun, Oliver
QUOTE: Originally posted by cherokee woman QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes QUOTE: Originally posted by vsmith Whistle the theme to Good, Bad and the Ugly while reading this one... A sheriff in a small town walked out in the street and saw a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots. So the sheriff arrested him for indecent exposure. As he was locking him up he asked "Why in the world are you dressed like this?" The Cowboy said, "Well it's like this Sheriff... I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asked me to go out to her motor home with her....and I did. "We went inside and she pulled off her top and asked me to pull off my shirt, .... so I did.... "Then she pulled off her skirt and asked me to pull off my pants... so I did... "Then she pulled off her panties and asked me to pull off my shorts... So I did... "Then she got on the bed, looked at me kind of funny and said, Now go to town cowboy.... "So here I am!" No, he wasn't from Arkansas. [:p] He was from . . . auuu . . . well I better not say. [;)] Man, that cowboy was one DUMB cowboy!!!!!!!!
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QUOTE: Originally posted by zardoz QUOTE: Originally posted by Oliver Trzok [sigh] I missed Zardoz! OK now, I missed the rest of you guys, too (I don't have a computer at home and yesterday was very busy here at work), but I also actually missed the movie "Zardoz". A private TV station from a small town here in Croatia showed it last thursday, and I learned about it on friday. On friday, on the other hand, our national TV was showing "Peacemaker" with Nicole Kidman and George Clooney, starting with a train chase with a Russian steam locomotive and a Russian diesel, and I think later you get to see a Croatian locomotive or two and some Croatian actors, but I didn't watch the rest of the movie this time, and it has been long since I saw it for the first time, so I don't remember it too well. [:I] Hope I made myself clear, and if not, it doesn't matter anyway, you're not missing much. Have fun, Oliver Gee, and here I thought you meant you missed me!![;)]
Originally posted by edblysard I used to work nights with him! Ask Mookie about "midnight switchman" and his boots! Ed[:D] Let's just say he "aired all his differences".....[censored] She who has no signature! cinscocom-tmw vsmith Member sinceDecember 2001 From: Smoggy L.A. 10,743 posts Posted by vsmith on Wednesday, January 28, 2004 5:27 PM QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes Another funny for Hump Day [:o)] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Today's Funny Quote Courtesy of The-Mouth.com "If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." - George Gobel Now who remembers George G.? Who remember what he hocked on tv? I remember seeing Gobel on the Tonight show with Johnny Carson, Ed and a guest would flick their cigarette ashes ( this was way back in the stone age) into his drink when he turned to talk to Johnny, the audience was howling and poor George had no idea what was going on behind his back but got flustered and said, " Did you ever feel like a brown suit in a room full of Tuxedo's?" [:D] Have fun with your trains Anonymous Member sinceApril 2003 305,205 posts Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, January 28, 2004 9:43 PM LOL I jsut got it... No electricity means no Tv.... It took me 20 minutes staring at that joke!! I GET IT!!! LOL!! HAHAAHAAAHA!!!! [:D] Edit Anonymous Member sinceApril 2003 305,205 posts Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, January 29, 2004 1:27 AM I am putting this here as a P S A (Public Service Announcement). I have my doubts as to "IF" it is true or not, but I would feel real bad if it were true and I didn't at least say something about it (and someone was hurt because of it). There is a ton of junk floating around on the interent that is nothing but pure garbage. Who starts it all I don't know. A lot of it finds it way into my email account. I read it and delete it most of the time. But I am going to share just a small piece of this email I received just as a precaution. As I said , I doubt it is true, but just to be safe I will pass a little of it on to you : I have been asked by state and local authorities to write this email in order to get the word out to car drivers of a very dangerous prank that is occurring in numerous states. Some person or persons have been affixing hypodermic needles to the underside of gas pump handles! OK, this is all I am going to cut and paste into this post. When you do buy gas in the near future, just to be safe, do check the handle of the gas pump BEFORE you touch it. I am putting this here because this thread is one that most forum members check out at least once a day. I have also referred to it as The Humor Thread Paper, so it is "fitting" that it be here. As Joe would say . . . Stay Safe. Edit Anonymous Member sinceApril 2003 305,205 posts Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, January 29, 2004 1:39 AM Now for some humor . . . The Thursday edition is here . . . . YEAH [:I] [:o)] Hi folks...Just got home from work and heard a couple of supposedly new Darwin award entries to clean out the gene pool. Thought I'd pass them on in case you haven't heard them. The first is an honorable mention because the individual survived. A teenager was found in the railroad yard unconscious with severe lacerations on his face and head. When he regained consciousness, he informed authorities that he got them by seeing how close he could get his head to a moving train before he could feel anything. The second is a winner...A individual attempted to rob a liquor store. After the clerk gave him the money, the robber decided to shoot the only witness to the crime. The pistol did not fire. The robber looked downed the barrel of the pistol to see why it didn't fire. This time it did.... Also, in case you didn't read or see anything about the two young men who thought it would be funny to streak naked through a Denny's Restaurant. They parked their running car out front with the door unlocked, took off their clothes and entered the restaurant. When they hastily returned to their car, it had been stolen, along with their clothes. I received these in an email and have not been to the Darwin Award site for a while. They could be true, but then again, they may not be. [8] [:p] Edit tree68 Member sinceDecember 2001 From: Northern New York 25,023 posts Posted by tree68 on Thursday, January 29, 2004 6:47 AM QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes I am putting this here as a P S A (Public Service Announcement). I have my doubts as to "IF" it is true or not, but I would feel real bad if it were true and I didn't at least say something about it (and someone was hurt because of it). There is a ton of junk floating around on the interent that is nothing but pure garbage. Who starts it all I don't know. A lot of it finds it way into my email account. I read it and delete it most of the time. But I am going to share just a small piece of this email I received just as a precaution. As I said , I doubt it is true, but just to be safe I will pass a little of it on to you : I have been asked by state and local authorities to write this email in order to get the word out to car drivers of a very dangerous prank that is occurring in numerous states. Some person or persons have been affixing hypodermic needles to the underside of gas pump handles! OK, this is all I am going to cut and paste into this post. When you do buy gas in the near future, just to be safe, do check the handle of the gas pump BEFORE you touch it. I am putting this here because this thread is one that most forum members check out at least once a day. I have also referred to it as The Humor Thread Paper, so it is "fitting" that it be here. As Joe would say . . . Stay Safe. Probably find this on the Urban Legends pages - it's been around for a long time. Not that some yahoo won't see it sometime and think it'll be fun to try... Larry Resident Microferroequinologist (at least at my house) Everyone goes home; Safety begins with you My Opinion. Standard Disclaimers Apply. No Expiration Date Come ride the rails with me! There's one thing about humility - the moment you think you've got it, you've lost it... zardoz Member sinceJanuary 2003 From: Kenosha, WI 6,567 posts Posted by zardoz on Thursday, January 29, 2004 8:59 AM QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes The first is an honorable mention because the individual survived. A teenager was found in the railroad yard unconscious with severe lacerations on his face and head. When he regained consciousness, he informed authorities that he got them by seeing how close he could get his head to a moving train before he could feel anything. Back when I ran Suburban trains in Chicago, in order to either show bravery, or for thrills, the kids would sit below rail level, in between the vertical supports on the deck plate bridges. You could not see them until you were on the bridge itself, the view obscured by the supports. I cannot even imagine the ru***hose kids must have gotten as we zipped by at 70mph while they sat within three feet of our wheels. Yikes! CShaveRR Member sinceJune 2001 From: Lombard (west of Chicago), Illinois 13,681 posts Posted by CShaveRR on Thursday, January 29, 2004 9:53 PM Sent to me by my second cousin. Carl (father of two blondes) A blonde female police officer pulls over a blonde gal in a convertible sports car for speeding. She walks up to the car and asks the blonde for her driver's license. The blonde convertible driver searches through her purse in vain. Finally she asks, "What does it look like?" The blonde police officer tells her, "It's that thing with your picture on it." The blonde driver searches for a few more seconds, pulls out her compact, opens it, and, sure enough, sees herself. She hands the compact to the blonde cop. After a few seconds looking at the compact, the blonde cop rolls her eyes, hands the compact back to the blonde convertible driver and says, "If you would have told me you were a police officer when I first pulled you over we could have avoided this whole thing." Carl Railroader Emeritus (practiced railroading for 46 years--and in 2010 I finally got it right!) CAACSCOCOM--I don't want to behave improperly, so I just won't behave at all. (SM) Mookie Member sinceJune 2001 From: US 13,488 posts Posted by Mookie on Friday, January 30, 2004 6:18 AM [swg] She who has no signature! cinscocom-tmw Anonymous Member sinceApril 2003 305,205 posts Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 30, 2004 8:40 AM Finally Friday . . . . aren't you glad, I know I AM. [:D] A Washington Post columnist runs a column each summer listing interesting t-shirts observed at the Ocean City, Maryland beach. I childproofed my house, but they still get in. On the front- 60 is not old. On the back- If you're a tree. My reality check just bounced. I'm not 50. I'm 49.95 plus tax. Buckle up. It makes it harder for the aliens to snatch you from your car. I need somebody bad. Are you bad? Physically pffffffft! It's my cat's world. I'm just here to open cans. Keep staring....I may do a trick. We got rid of the kids. The cat was allergic. Dangerously under-medicated. Every time I hear the word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate. Cats regard people as warm-blooded furniture. Live your life so that when you die, the preacher will not have to tell lies at your funeral. Edit tree68 Member sinceDecember 2001 From: Northern New York 25,023 posts Posted by tree68 on Friday, January 30, 2004 8:54 AM QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes On the front- 60 is not old. On the back- If you're a tree. I'm not 60, but I am Tree. So I'm really not old... Larry Resident Microferroequinologist (at least at my house) Everyone goes home; Safety begins with you My Opinion. Standard Disclaimers Apply. No Expiration Date Come ride the rails with me! There's one thing about humility - the moment you think you've got it, you've lost it... JoeKoh Member sinceApril 2003 From: Defiance Ohio 13,323 posts Posted by JoeKoh on Friday, January 30, 2004 8:55 AM Darwin winner? How about someone cutting off a line of cars.no fender benders but cars #2 and 3 were happy to talk to them.I was car #6.oh 2 and 3 a state patrol and local cop. stay safe joe Deshler Ohio-crossroads of the B&O Matt eats your fries.YUM! Clinton st viaduct undefeated against too tall trucks!!!(voted to be called the "Clinton St. can opener"). Anonymous Member sinceApril 2003 305,205 posts Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 30, 2004 9:08 AM This Day In History Two unique items occured on this day, January 30, in past history. IN 1847 the town Yerba Buena is renamed . . . . . an Francisco (wonder why [}:)] ). The Long Ranger was heard on radio for the first time. The radio show became a tv show in the mid 1950s, but not before 2,956 episodes were "aired" on radio. Edit Mookie Member sinceJune 2001 From: US 13,488 posts Posted by Mookie on Friday, January 30, 2004 9:24 AM QUOTE: Originally posted by tree68 QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes On the front- 60 is not old. On the back- If you're a tree. I'm not 60, but I am Tree. So I'm really not old... This brings up something I have wondered about for some time - What happens when Tree and LocoMutt post really close together???????[censored] Kind of like MudChicken and Mz Kitty.....[dinner] She who has no signature! cinscocom-tmw « First«25262728293031»Last » Join our Community! Our community is FREE to join. To participate you must either login or register for an account. Login » Register » Search the Community Newsletter Sign-Up By signing up you may also receive occasional reader surveys and special offers from Trains magazine.Please view our privacy policy More great sites from Kalmbach Media Terms Of Use | Privacy Policy | Copyright Policy
She who has no signature! cinscocom-tmw
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes Another funny for Hump Day [:o)] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Today's Funny Quote Courtesy of The-Mouth.com "If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." - George Gobel Now who remembers George G.? Who remember what he hocked on tv?
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes I am putting this here as a P S A (Public Service Announcement). I have my doubts as to "IF" it is true or not, but I would feel real bad if it were true and I didn't at least say something about it (and someone was hurt because of it). There is a ton of junk floating around on the interent that is nothing but pure garbage. Who starts it all I don't know. A lot of it finds it way into my email account. I read it and delete it most of the time. But I am going to share just a small piece of this email I received just as a precaution. As I said , I doubt it is true, but just to be safe I will pass a little of it on to you : I have been asked by state and local authorities to write this email in order to get the word out to car drivers of a very dangerous prank that is occurring in numerous states. Some person or persons have been affixing hypodermic needles to the underside of gas pump handles! OK, this is all I am going to cut and paste into this post. When you do buy gas in the near future, just to be safe, do check the handle of the gas pump BEFORE you touch it. I am putting this here because this thread is one that most forum members check out at least once a day. I have also referred to it as The Humor Thread Paper, so it is "fitting" that it be here. As Joe would say . . . Stay Safe.
Larry Resident Microferroequinologist (at least at my house) Everyone goes home; Safety begins with you My Opinion. Standard Disclaimers Apply. No Expiration Date Come ride the rails with me! There's one thing about humility - the moment you think you've got it, you've lost it...
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes The first is an honorable mention because the individual survived. A teenager was found in the railroad yard unconscious with severe lacerations on his face and head. When he regained consciousness, he informed authorities that he got them by seeing how close he could get his head to a moving train before he could feel anything.
Carl
Railroader Emeritus (practiced railroading for 46 years--and in 2010 I finally got it right!)
CAACSCOCOM--I don't want to behave improperly, so I just won't behave at all. (SM)
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes On the front- 60 is not old. On the back- If you're a tree.
Deshler Ohio-crossroads of the B&O Matt eats your fries.YUM! Clinton st viaduct undefeated against too tall trucks!!!(voted to be called the "Clinton St. can opener").
QUOTE: Originally posted by tree68 QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes On the front- 60 is not old. On the back- If you're a tree. I'm not 60, but I am Tree. So I'm really not old...
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