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Would you believe..... (a little humor) Locked

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Posted by vsmith on Thursday, January 15, 2004 12:40 PM
Q: Whats the differrence between a Civet Cat and a Polecat?

A: One is eaten, the other isn't!


Civet cats I beleive are actually rodents, and the ones I've seen look more like a big fat ferret than a cat.

   Have fun with your trains

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Posted by Mookie on Thursday, January 15, 2004 12:52 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by vsmith

Q: Whats the differrence between a Civet Cat and a Polecat?

A: One is eaten, the other isn't!


Civet cats I beleive are actually rodents, and the ones I've seen look more like a big fat ferret than a cat.
[:O] The Mookie is horrified! - Icky! -

She who has no signature! cinscocom-tmw

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Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, January 15, 2004 12:57 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by vsmith

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

That is so horrible I can smell it clear over here in Newbrasskey


Was watching a Hal Roach "Our Gang" comedy last light and I remembered one of the jokes... this ones just for you Miss La Mook. [:D]

Miss Crabtree "Today I'll tell you all about my Vacation.."

Stymie "Why, did you have a Polecat ?" (skunk)

Miss Crabtree "Why no, why would I have a Polecat?"

"Well, we had a Polecat under our house, and Boy, did we Vacate!" [:0]




Isthmus be my lucking day!!
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Posted by cherokee woman on Thursday, January 15, 2004 1:52 PM
ATTENTION EVERYONE!!!!

On Starz Family, there's a movie showing (we just finished watching it) called "The Billion
Dollar Hobo" starring Tim Conway and Will Geer.

Granted, there's too little trains showing, but it is FUNNY.

Check it out if you can[:D][8D][:)]
Angel cherokee woman "O'Toole's law: Murphy was an optimist."
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Posted by espeefoamer on Thursday, January 15, 2004 2:09 PM
[:)]Thought for the day:A pun is the lowest form of humus.It's an earthy joke that anyone can dig.[:D]
Ride Amtrak. Cats Rule, Dogs Drool.
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Posted by tree68 on Thursday, January 15, 2004 2:13 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by espeefoamer

[:)]Thought for the day:A pun is the lowest form of humus.It's an earthy joke that anyone can dig.[:D]


A pox u-pun you! Surely you will be pun-ished for such o-pun indiscretions!

LarryWhistling
Resident Microferroequinologist (at least at my house) 
Everyone goes home; Safety begins with you
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There's one thing about humility - the moment you think you've got it, you've lost it...

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Posted by vsmith on Thursday, January 15, 2004 3:51 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

QUOTE: Originally posted by vsmith

Q: Whats the differrence between a Civet Cat and a Polecat?

A: One is eaten, the other isn't!


Civet cats I beleive are actually rodents, and the ones I've seen look more like a big fat ferret than a cat.
[:O] The Mookie is horrified! - Icky! -


In China they are considered delicacies, and are highly valued.

   Have fun with your trains

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Posted by Kathi Kube on Thursday, January 15, 2004 4:12 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

I would say something about the accents up there. But then they might say something about the accents down here. [}:)] [;)] And beside, Kathi might decide to come down here and practice some new kicks on me. [;)] I certainly wouldn't want to be the cause of her hurting her knee again, so I won't say a word about the northern accents. [:)]


Now wait just a minute. We don't have accents here. Now Little Rock is another question altogether.

About a year ago I made two very good friends in the railroading industry because of their accents and the way I talk. (No, I don't have an accent.) We were at the League of Railway Industry Women's annual meeting and just started talking to each other. One is from Chattanooga where she works at a railcar storage facility, the other is originally from England, but now works in Jacksonville in locomotive sales. We enjoyed hearing each other speak so much, we hung out together throughout the conference and developed a cool friendship.

All because they talk funny. [swg]
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Posted by cherokee woman on Thursday, January 15, 2004 4:25 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

QUOTE: Originally posted by vsmith

Q: Whats the differrence between a Civet Cat and a Polecat?

A: One is eaten, the other isn't!


Civet cats I beleive are actually rodents, and the ones I've seen look more like a big fat ferret than a cat.
[:O] The Mookie is horrified! - Icky! -


[:0][:(]Ditto from cherokee woman
Angel cherokee woman "O'Toole's law: Murphy was an optimist."
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Posted by locomutt on Thursday, January 15, 2004 8:28 PM
Some of these jokes are only two thirds of a PUN[:P][:-,][swg]


PU!

Being Crazy,keeps you from going "INSANE" !! "The light at the end of the tunnel,has been turned off due to budget cuts" NOT AFRAID A Vet., and PROUD OF IT!!

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Posted by tree68 on Thursday, January 15, 2004 9:43 PM
Today is International Day of The Very Good Looking, Beautiful and Damn Attractive People, so send this message to someone you think fits this description. Please do not send it back to me as I have already received over fifty thousand of these messages and my inbox is jammed.

[8D] My humility is one of my outstanding traits.

LarryWhistling
Resident Microferroequinologist (at least at my house) 
Everyone goes home; Safety begins with you
My Opinion. Standard Disclaimers Apply. No Expiration Date
Come ride the rails with me!
There's one thing about humility - the moment you think you've got it, you've lost it...

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Posted by locomutt on Thursday, January 15, 2004 10:07 PM
Larry,
I happen to know that you are all ready attached!!!!!!!!!!!![8][}:)]
I firmly believe something else is jammed in your inbox[}:)][swg][banghead][sigh]

Being Crazy,keeps you from going "INSANE" !! "The light at the end of the tunnel,has been turned off due to budget cuts" NOT AFRAID A Vet., and PROUD OF IT!!

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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 16, 2004 12:48 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by Kathi Kube

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

I would say something about the accents up there. But then they might say something about the accents down here. [}:)] [;)] And beside, Kathi might decide to come down here and practice some new kicks on me. [;)] I certainly wouldn't want to be the cause of her hurting her knee again, so I won't say a word about the northern accents. [:)]


Now wait just a minute. We don't have accents here. Now Little Rock is another question altogether.



Whyyyyyyy Kathiiiiiiii,

I don't have an accenttttttttttttttt. [;)]

Just ask John (Railpac, Jim T or some others), surely they will tell you I don'ttttttttttttttttttt. [:D] [;)]
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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 16, 2004 12:54 AM
Time for the . . . . Finally Friday edition of the paper . . . . [:D] [;)] [:o)]


Since I desire to see the sun rise today, today's humor is dedicated to NOONE, but everyone is allowed to read it and laugh. [:p]



An old lady came into her doctor's office and
confessed to an embarrassing problem: "I pass gas all
the time, Doctor Johnson, but it's soundless, and
without odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've
passed gas no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Barker. Take these pills
three times a day for seven days and come back and see
me in a week."

The next week, an upset Mrs. Barker marched into Dr.
Johnson's office: "Doc, I don't know what was in those
pills, but the problem is worse! I'm passing gas just
as much, and they're still soundless, but now
they smell terrible! What do you have to say for
yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Barker," said the doctor soothingly.
"Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your
hearing."



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Posted by Mookie on Friday, January 16, 2004 6:30 AM

And beside, Kathi might decide to come down here and practice some new kicks on me. [;)] I certainly wouldn't want to be the cause of her hurting her knee again, so I won't say a word about the northern accents. [:)]


Kathi - Driver sends you a message for your knee problems - practice Kuchi-Waza instead - it won't hurt your knees unless you insult someone!

Mookie

She who has no signature! cinscocom-tmw

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Posted by rrnut282 on Friday, January 16, 2004 7:27 AM
Jim

Ha
Ha
Ha
There, I feel better now. Did I just hear something?
Mike (2-8-2)
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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 16, 2004 10:38 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by rrnut282

Jim

Ha
Ha
Ha
There, I feel better now. Did I just hear something?



rrnut282 [:)]

Since you are just a few posts away from your first star, let me be the first to congratulate you on it. The second one is just around the corner now. [:D]

rrnut [8D] Why don't you take the "Mike" for a joy ride to celebrate this occasion. [:D]
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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 16, 2004 10:56 AM
And now the news . . . .

Today in History . . . .

January 16 . . . .

The 18 th Amendment to the U. S. Constitution is ratified. It prohibited the sale or transporation of ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES. The 21 st Amendment would repeal the 19 th Amendment a few years later.


And in Sports . . . . .

1963

Mickey Mantle, New York Yankees Outfield, signs a contract making him the highest paid baseball player in the American League. The sum--$75,000.
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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 16, 2004 11:09 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

Time for the . . . . Finally Friday edition of the paper . . . . [:D] [;)] [:o)]


Since I desire to see the sun rise today, today's humor is dedicated to NOONE, but everyone is allowed to read it and laugh. [:p]



An old lady came into her doctor's office and
confessed to an embarrassing problem: "I pass gas all
the time, Doctor Johnson, but it's soundless, and
without odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've
passed gas no less than twenty times. What can I do?"

"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Barker. Take these pills
three times a day for seven days and come back and see
me in a week."

The next week, an upset Mrs. Barker marched into Dr.
Johnson's office: "Doc, I don't know what was in those
pills, but the problem is worse! I'm passing gas just
as much, and they're still soundless, but now
they smell terrible! What do you have to say for
yourself?"

"Calm down, Mrs. Barker," said the doctor soothingly.
"Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your
hearing."






That was a good one. I sent that one off to my friends!!
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Posted by Mookie on Friday, January 16, 2004 11:43 AM
This is so bad I hesitate to post it! But my girlfriend didn't hesitate to send it to me!

Cardiologist's Funeral:

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral.

A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry! I was just thinking of my own funeral. I'm a gynecologist!"

At that point, the proctologist fainted!



She who has no signature! cinscocom-tmw

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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 16, 2004 12:15 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

This is so bad I hesitate to post it! But my girlfriend didn't hesitate to send it to me!

Cardiologist's Funeral:

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral.

A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry! I was just thinking of my own funeral. I'm a gynecologist!"

At that point, the proctologist fainted!






Mookie - good one. [:D]
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Posted by JoeKoh on Friday, January 16, 2004 12:18 PM
OUch!!!!!
good one mookie
stay safe
Joe

Deshler Ohio-crossroads of the B&O Matt eats your fries.YUM! Clinton st viaduct undefeated against too tall trucks!!!(voted to be called the "Clinton St. can opener").

 

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Posted by CShaveRR on Friday, January 16, 2004 12:23 PM
Gee--they'd have to roll me down the hill into a 4-mph collision with other coffins going to the same place!

Carl

Railroader Emeritus (practiced railroading for 46 years--and in 2010 I finally got it right!)

CAACSCOCOM--I don't want to behave improperly, so I just won't behave at all. (SM)

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Posted by vsmith on Friday, January 16, 2004 12:36 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

This is so bad I hesitate to post it! But my girlfriend didn't hesitate to send it to me!

Cardiologist's Funeral:

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral.

A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry! I was just thinking of my own funeral. I'm a gynecologist!"

At that point, the proctologist fainted!







So, If you were a fireman on a steam engine, would they roll you into the firebox at a roundhouse side memerial? Just a thought...

   Have fun with your trains

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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 16, 2004 1:44 PM
LOL That was a good one, tee hee hee!
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Posted by Kathi Kube on Friday, January 16, 2004 3:00 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes



Whyyyyyyy Kathiiiiiiii,

I don't have an accenttttttttttttttt. [;)]

Just ask John (Railpac, Jim T or some others), surely they will tell you I don'ttttttttttttttttttt. [:D] [;)]


Um, yeah. OK. go with thayyyyyyy-aaat thought.

And, as I think someone guessed, that line was from McDonald's.

[{(-_-)}] "Grab a bucket and mop,...blah, blah, blah, blah something or other...
[:-^]You deserve a break today, so get up and get away to McDonald's!" [dinner]

Y'all er nuts, ann ah luv ye te bits.

Kathi[:P]
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Posted by JoeKoh on Friday, January 16, 2004 3:41 PM
Mcdonalds?forget the clown Matt wants the fries.
stay safe
Joe

Deshler Ohio-crossroads of the B&O Matt eats your fries.YUM! Clinton st viaduct undefeated against too tall trucks!!!(voted to be called the "Clinton St. can opener").

 

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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, January 17, 2004 1:28 AM
Time for . . . . . Saturday's Silly Season [:D]


Have you ever wondered about . . . . . . .

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I
think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and
drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken
there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta
it's bum."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that
could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no
decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the
freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a
song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool
lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio
out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the
time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where
the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all
fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

If Wile E. Coyote from the Road Runner had enough
money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just
buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is
made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality
come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a
mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little
Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on . . .

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet
Soup?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make
it arrive faster?






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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, January 17, 2004 10:22 AM
Why do people park in a Driveway and Drive on a parkway?


How does the snowplow driver get to work?
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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, January 17, 2004 10:42 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by kevinstheRRman




How does the snowplow driver get to work?



Why silly, he takes the train. [;)]

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