QUOTE: Originally posted by Mikeygaw Warning to all dog owners The Highway Patrol in conjunction with the FBI has issued a warning advising all dog owners to keep their dogs indoors until further notice. Dogs are being picked off one at a time on an almost continual basis throughout the state. They are falling in great numbers. Police in the city advise all dog owners not to walk their dogs!
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes OK More funny stuff There are from high school essays ENJOY Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. She grew on him like she was a colony of E.coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law, Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. He was a lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame... maybe from stepping on a land mind or something. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
QUOTE: Originally posted by zardoz Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." "I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Hour logically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"
Being Crazy,keeps you from going "INSANE" !! "The light at the end of the tunnel,has been turned off due to budget cuts" NOT AFRAID A Vet., and PROUD OF IT!!
Have fun with your trains
Carl
Railroader Emeritus (practiced railroading for 46 years--and in 2010 I finally got it right!)
CAACSCOCOM--I don't want to behave improperly, so I just won't behave at all. (SM)
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