Would you believe..... (a little humor)

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

QUOTE: Originally posted by kevinstheRRman

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

Marriage turns passion into sleeping with a relative!

And just what exactly is wrong with that? My my ex-wife is still my favorite cousin.

Dan, Dan Dan!

I am of course kidding. I am still married to my first wife. She's from Oklahoma..but she cleans up good....and wears a purty dress every now and then.

Woha Woha Time-out, Madame Mook, Attendez une minute! (wait a minute) SO your saying it's NOT alright to go to Family Reunions to pick up women?

NOW what do I do with my Girlfriend?

Feed her to the wolves?

Kevin - you got wolves?

I can find some if Worse comes to worse.

[Mookie]

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

Finally Friday . . . . . . . . . . [:)] [:p] [:D]

(Oliver . . . . . BINGO you win the booby prize. [;)] )


Here is a cute group of pics. If you look at more than the first one you might want to skip the 3rd one. [B)]


http://www.funny-pet-pictures.com/pics/cats/89.html


Mookie will like most of them. [8D]

Did you notice Mookie isn't in any of them? Otherwise - Awwww

[Anonymous]

Finally Friday . . . . . . . . . . [:)] [:p] [:D]

(Oliver . . . . . BINGO you win the booby prize. [;)] )


Here is a cute group of pics. If you look at more than the first one you might want to skip the 3rd one. [B)]


http://www.funny-pet-pictures.com/pics/cats/89.html


Mookie will like most of them. [8D]

[Anonymous]

A question (again): what does LMAO mean?
My guess is "laughing my a.. off" [%-)]

Thanks, regards & have a nice weekend everyone!!!

[Rick Gates]

Q. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? A.1 You need 250 lawyers just to lobby for the research grant. A.2 It takes one lawyer to change your light bulb to his light bulb. A.3 You won't find a lawyer to change a light bulb. Now, if you are looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb.......... A.4 Whereas the party of the first part, also known a "Lawyer," and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb," do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, eludication, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entranceway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by aforementioned agreement between the parties. [zzz]

[tree68]

QUOTE: Originally posted by macguy

QUOTE: Originally posted by vsmith

This links too good not to share.....
Why Video-phones are a lousy idea..did you ever want to do this to someone?
http://clarkson.edu/~wirkusf/stfu.swf
PS this needs sound

...I didn't think her singing was that bad.... [%-)]

I looked up "annoying" in an on-line dictionary, and they showed that clip (minus the wallop)...[:D]

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by vsmith

This links too good not to share.....

Why Video-phones are a lousy idea..did you ever want to do this to someone?

http://clarkson.edu/~wirkusf/stfu.swf

PS this needs sound

...I didn't think her singing was that bad.... [%-)]

[Anonymous]

Thursday's Paper [:o)]



"I have read your essay about your horse," scowled the teacher, "and it's exact the same as your sister's from last year."

"Well, duh!" says the student, "It's the same horse."





This guy has been working as a bag boy in a supermarket for five years.

One day the supermarket gets new orange juice machines, and the bag boy is realexcited and asks the manager if he can work the juice machines.

The manager says no.

The bagger says, "But I've been working here for 5 years, why can't I run the juice machines?"

The manager goes, "I'm sorry, son, but, baggers can't be juicers."





A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other battie buddies smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.

He told them to knock it off and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.

"OK, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.

Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly flapped around him.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good," said the first bat, "Because I DIDN'T!"







One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."



These are from the ArcaMax Joke site. [:D]

[Mookie]

QUOTE: Originally posted by kevinstheRRman

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

Marriage turns passion into sleeping with a relative!

And just what exactly is wrong with that? My my ex-wife is still my favorite cousin.

Dan, Dan Dan!

I am of course kidding. I am still married to my first wife. She's from Oklahoma..but she cleans up good....and wears a purty dress every now and then.

Woha Woha Time-out, Madame Mook, Attendez une minute! (wait a minute) SO your saying it's NOT alright to go to Family Reunions to pick up women?

NOW what do I do with my Girlfriend?

Feed her to the wolves?

Kevin - you got wolves?

[Anonymous]

quote:
On with the show (and mindful there's no webcam here)! ONE DAY TWO FACTORY WORKERS start talking on the job. It's still pretty early in the morning, but one of them is totally looped. "I think I'll take some time off work," says the straight guy. "How are you going to do that?" asks the drunk. The straight guy proceeds to demonstrate --- by climbing up to the rafters and hanging upside down. The boss walks in, sees the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asks him what on earth he is doing. "I'm a light bulb," the guy answers. "I think you need some time off," says the boss. With that, the man jumps down and walks out of the factory. The drunk begins walking out, too. "Hey!" calls the boss. "Where do you think you're going?" The drunk hiccoughs and answers, "Home. I can't work in the dark."


CLASSIC !!!

[Rick Gates]

On with the show (and mindful there's no webcam here)! ONE DAY TWO FACTORY WORKERS start talking on the job. It's still pretty early in the morning, but one of them is totally looped. "I think I'll take some time off work," says the straight guy. "How are you going to do that?" asks the drunk. The straight guy proceeds to demonstrate --- by climbing up to the rafters and hanging upside down. The boss walks in, sees the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asks him what on earth he is doing. "I'm a light bulb," the guy answers. "I think you need some time off," says the boss. With that, the man jumps down and walks out of the factory. The drunk begins walking out, too. "Hey!" calls the boss. "Where do you think you're going?" The drunk hiccoughs and answers, "Home. I can't work in the dark." [8]

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

Marriage turns passion into sleeping with a relative!

And just what exactly is wrong with that? My my ex-wife is still my favorite cousin.

Dan, Dan Dan!

I am of course kidding. I am still married to my first wife. She's from Oklahoma..but she cleans up good....and wears a purty dress every now and then.

Woha Woha Time-out, Madame Mook, Attendez une minute! (wait a minute) SO your saying it's NOT alright to go to Family Reunions to pick up women?

NOW what do I do with my Girlfriend?

Feed her to the wolves?

[Anonymous]

My sound card doesn't work right now. I was told she is singing and singing very badly. [B)]

My question is:

Was the guy prosecuted for assault [B)] [:0]

OR

Given a medal for public service. [:p] [}:)] [;)] [?]

[Mookie]

QUOTE: Originally posted by tree68

Speaking of phones:

George calls his wife from work, for whatever reason. She’s a little PO’d when she finally answers the phone – he got her out of the shower and she didn’t even have time to grab a towel and she’s dripping all over the floor. They discuss whatever he called about and hang up. George immediately calls over a co-worker, quietly tells him something, dials his home number again, and hands the phone to the co-worker.

The thoroughly miffed wife answers the phone and hears, “Hello, is George there? Oh! Look at you! And all wet, too!”

Scream. Clunk.

This sounds like my first husband .....

He is no longer with us!

[Mookie]

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

LMAO!!!!!!!!!

me2

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by vsmith

This links too good not to share.....

Why Video-phones are a lousy idea..did you ever want to do this to someone?

http://clarkson.edu/~wirkusf/stfu.swf

PS this needs sound

That's the funnest thing I have seen since MXC on Spike TV.

[tree68]

Speaking of phones:

George calls his wife from work, for whatever reason. She’s a little PO’d when she finally answers the phone – he got her out of the shower and she didn’t even have time to grab a towel and she’s dripping all over the floor. They discuss whatever he called about and hang up. George immediately calls over a co-worker, quietly tells him something, dials his home number again, and hands the phone to the co-worker.

The thoroughly miffed wife answers the phone and hears, “Hello, is George there? Oh! Look at you! And all wet, too!”

Scream. Clunk.

[Mikeygaw]

now that is something i'd classify as "so bad that it's actually funny"

[dharmon]

LMAO!!!!!!!!!

[vsmith]

This links too good not to share.....

Why Video-phones are a lousy idea..did you ever want to do this to someone?

http://clarkson.edu/~wirkusf/stfu.swf

PS this needs sound

[JoeKoh]

well here goes
a gentleman bought some new replacement windows for his house
the double pain glass and tilt in for easy cleaning
he got a call from the contractor complaining that it had been a whole year
and he still hadnt paid him
they went round and round
just cause the guys getting old doesnt mean hes turning stupid
so anywayhe told him what the salesman said last year
"that in one year the windows will pay for themselves"
he heard silence on the other end of the line so he hung up
guess he won that silly argument huh?
stay safe
joe

[Mookie]

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

Hump Day Helpers [8D] [:)] [:p]



Today's Jokes [^]

They say that a preacher's wife is always his number
one assistant. An example of this comes one Sunday
morning after the preacher had just
finished his sermon.

He went and sat down with his wife and she asked him
how he thought the church service went.

The Preacher shrugged and said, "The worship was
excellent, and I think the prayer time went quite
well, but," he continued, "I just don't think the
sermon ever got off the ground."

The wife looked over at him, and before she could stop
herself, she said, "Well, it sure did taxi long
enough!" [:D] [:)] [;)]



Old Math [:D]


Noah opens up the ark and lets all the animals out,
telling them to "Go forth and multiply."

He's closing the great doors of the ark when he
notices that there are two snakes sitting in a dark
corner. So he says to them, "Didn't you hear me? You
can go now. Go forth and multiply."

"We can't," said the snakes, "We're adders." [:)] [;)]

Hiss [}:)]

[Mookie]

QUOTE: Originally posted by espeefoamer

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

Since you mentioned Thingies - (my department) - must tell you that if you ever want a side-splitting experience - take the Mookie fishing. The driver finally gave up!

Been known to fish in trees and weeds alike!

Sit in a directors chair and lean over to get bait and end up on the ground - (a la Artie Johnson - Laugh in - he rode a small tricycle and came to a complete halt and just fell over sideways!)

Sunburn easily, so have clothes that cover ever inch of exposed skin and then hold an umbrella for shade. Darn near caused a wreck over that one.

Can't swim, so stay way back from edge of water and let driver untangle line, retrieve line and help get fish out of water. I can take fish off hook, just can't throw it back into water in front of me - lots ended up in dirt behind me - still don't know how I did that!

Casting is a science unto itself. Haven't made a lake big enough for me to cast and get it where I want! Usually ends up across someone's line not even close to me! See above weeds and trees. But then, I don't bowl or play pool for the same reasons!

But - I did hear two funnies - at least I thought they were -

I don't do drugs any more! Now I can get the same result just standing up!

Marriage turns passion into sleeping with a relative!

Mookie,dont feel too bad.Once in a gym class in high school,I kicked a football, and it landed behind me.

Oh Mookie can so identify with this! [:D]

[Anonymous]

Hump Day Helpers [8D] [:)] [:p]



Today's Jokes [^]

They say that a preacher's wife is always his number
one assistant. An example of this comes one Sunday
morning after the preacher had just
finished his sermon.

He went and sat down with his wife and she asked him
how he thought the church service went.

The Preacher shrugged and said, "The worship was
excellent, and I think the prayer time went quite
well, but," he continued, "I just don't think the
sermon ever got off the ground."

The wife looked over at him, and before she could stop
herself, she said, "Well, it sure did taxi long
enough!" [:D] [:)] [;)]



Old Math [:D]


Noah opens up the ark and lets all the animals out,
telling them to "Go forth and multiply."

He's closing the great doors of the ark when he
notices that there are two snakes sitting in a dark
corner. So he says to them, "Didn't you hear me? You
can go now. Go forth and multiply."

"We can't," said the snakes, "We're adders." [:)] [;)]

[espeefoamer]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

Since you mentioned Thingies - (my department) - must tell you that if you ever want a side-splitting experience - take the Mookie fishing. The driver finally gave up!

Been known to fish in trees and weeds alike!

Sit in a directors chair and lean over to get bait and end up on the ground - (a la Artie Johnson - Laugh in - he rode a small tricycle and came to a complete halt and just fell over sideways!)

Sunburn easily, so have clothes that cover ever inch of exposed skin and then hold an umbrella for shade. Darn near caused a wreck over that one.

Can't swim, so stay way back from edge of water and let driver untangle line, retrieve line and help get fish out of water. I can take fish off hook, just can't throw it back into water in front of me - lots ended up in dirt behind me - still don't know how I did that!

Casting is a science unto itself. Haven't made a lake big enough for me to cast and get it where I want! Usually ends up across someone's line not even close to me! See above weeds and trees. But then, I don't bowl or play pool for the same reasons!

But - I did hear two funnies - at least I thought they were -

I don't do drugs any more! Now I can get the same result just standing up!

Marriage turns passion into sleeping with a relative!

Mookie,dont feel too bad.Once in a gym class in high school,I kicked a football, and it landed behind me.

[JLlamas]

Just so you know...
Your link doesn't work anymore.

[dharmon]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

Marriage turns passion into sleeping with a relative!

And just what exactly is wrong with that? My my ex-wife is still my favorite cousin.

Dan, Dan Dan!

I am of course kidding. I am still married to my first wife. She's from Oklahoma..but she cleans up good....and wears a purty dress every now and then.

[Mookie]

QUOTE: Originally posted by CShaveRR

More convinced than ever that you're part of the family, Kiddo!

I like to think I am not uncoordinated - just funny to watch! [:o)]

[Mookie]

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

Marriage turns passion into sleeping with a relative!

And just what exactly is wrong with that? My my ex-wife is still my favorite cousin.

Dan, Dan Dan!

[dharmon]

My family tree looks like a straw broom......

Pretty straight from the top down, then all the sudden, when I joined the Navy, it started to burst out in every direction.....