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Thursday's Paper [:o)] "I have read your essay about your horse," scowled the teacher, "and it's exact the same as your sister's from last year." "Well, duh!" says the student, "It's the same horse." This guy has been working as a bag boy in a supermarket for five years. One day the supermarket gets new orange juice machines, and the bag boy is realexcited and asks the manager if he can work the juice machines. The manager says no. The bagger says, "But I've been working here for 5 years, why can't I run the juice machines?" The manager goes, "I'm sorry, son, but, baggers can't be juicers." A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other battie buddies smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to knock it off and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in. "OK, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly flapped around him. "Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy. "Good," said the first bat, "Because I DIDN'T!" One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." These are from the ArcaMax Joke site. [:D]
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