Would you believe..... (a little humor)

[coborn35]

Zardoz, ROTFLMAOAPM!!! (Rolling on the floor laughing my***off almost pissing myself!)
KEEPUM COMING MAN!

[zardoz]

Fortunately, no political innuendo here....

http://www.introbia.ch/download/public/xray.swf

[zardoz]

The importance of understanding language.
http://www.introbia.ch/download/public/WeAreSinking.swf

[cherokee woman]

Little Bobby

Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly
trying week in kindergarten. His grandmother decided to take him to the park on
Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night, and everything was beautiful.

His grandmother remarked, "Doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery?
Did you know God painted this just for you?"

Bobby said, "Yes, God did it, and He did it left handed."

This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him, "What makes you say
God this this with His left hand?"

"Well," said Bobby, "we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on
God's right hand!"

[zardoz]

We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God.

If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns (or in Texas...deer rifles) and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of.

POSITIVE You Might Be A Redneck If:

Top Ten Ways To Tell If You might be a Redneck:

1. It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God."

2. You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

3. You still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival".

4. You remove your hat and bow your head when anyone prays.

5. You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play our National Anthem.

6. You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.

7. You've never burned an American flag, but would kick someone's BUTT that did.

8. You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

9 You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.

10. You'd give your last dollar to a friend.

[dmoore74]

Join the Club! Lots of Benefits


http://www.dickcheneygunclub.com/

[zardoz]

A LOW-TECH SECURITY SYSTEM:

Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots --- a really big pair.
Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.
Put a dog dish beside it......a really big dog dish. Leave a note on your front door that says something like "Bubba, big Mike, and I have gone to get more ammunition --back in an hour. Don't disturb the Pit bulls, they've just been wormed."

[zardoz]

A woman went to the doctor's office. Where she was seen by a young, NEW doctor.

After about 4 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 59 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

[LehighValleyman]

ok, ok, i got another very funny one.

This guy and his 2 buddies go out golfing.

His buddies bet him that if he beat them in a golfing game the would buy him a beer, so the guy beat em with his right hand and they get him a beer.

When thier done, they all say good bye and set the time for tomarrow "8:30,?" "sure ok."

They golf the next day and he beats him againthis time, with his left hand and they buy him another beer, and this gos on for about 4 days.

Finally on the last day, when they are done they set up the time but the guy objects. "i'm gonna be about 15min. late tomarrow" so both of his friends ask why.

He says that when his wife wakes up on her left side he golfs with his left hand.

When she wakes up on her right side he golfs with his right hand.

When she wakes up on her back, he's gonna be 15min late to golfing!

Get it?
LOL













Long live the LEHIGH VALLEY!

[Clutch Cargo]

Mary had a little lamb.
Her daddy killed it dead,
now Mary takes the lamb to school.
Between two slices of bread.

-Burma Shave

Kurt

[zardoz]

Top Reasons to go to Work Naked:


10. No one ever steals your chair.

9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

6. So that -with a little help from Muzak- you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your resume.

5. You want to see if it's like the dream.

4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.

3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."

2. Inventive way to finally meet that special person in Human Resources.

... And (drum roll) the number one reason to Go To Work Naked:
1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your a$$ in here by 8:00!"

[zardoz]

The wife of a Southern Baptist preacher talks to her Sunday school class about a wonderful religious experience that she had last week:

The other day I went up to the local Christian book store where I saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance at church, so I bought that bumper sticker and put it on the back bumper of my car.

I am really glad that I did. What an uplifting experience followed! I was stopped at the light of a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and I did not notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus or I may have never noticed that the light had changed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy and then he leaned out his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD, Go!....Go! Jesus Christ! Go!" Everyone was honking. I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all those loving people and I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love.

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach. I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. When I asked my teenage son in the back seat what this meant, he said that it was nothing, probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met a person from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.

My son burst into laughter, why, even he was enjoying the love of this religious experience. A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but that is when I noticed that the light had changed so I waved one more time to my loving brothers and sisters and drove through the intersection.

I was the only car that got across the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them and all that love that we had shared so I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one more time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!

[zardoz]

Here's what some kids think about marriage, kissing, etc.


HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming." Alan, age 10

"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with." Kirsten, age 10


WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED

"Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then." Camille, age 10

"No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married." Freddie, age 6


HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people." Eddie,6

"You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." Derrick, age 8


WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

"Both don't want no more kids." Lori, age 8


WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough." Lynnette, age 8.

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." Martin, age 10


WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." Craig, age 9


WHEN IS IT OK TO KISS SOMEONE?

"When they're rich." Pam, age 7

"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that." Curt, age 7

"The rule goes like this: if you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. Howard, 8


IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

"I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out." Theodore, age 8

"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them." Anita, 9

"Single is better, for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. Of course, if I did get married, I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing." Kirsten, age 10


HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

"There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?" Kelvin, age 8

"You can be sure of one thing - the boys would come chasing after us just the same as they do now." Roberta, age 7


HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

"If you want to last with your man, you should wear a lot of sexy clothes, especially underwear that is red and maybe has a few diamonds on it." Lori, age 8

"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck." Ricky, age 10

[zardoz]

You know the world is going crazy when:
the best rapper is a white guy,
the best golfer is a black guy,
the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese,
the Swiss hold the America's Cup,
France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance,
Germany doesn't want to go to war,
and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', '***', and 'Colon'.

[zardoz]

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, "$165,000". The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?"

The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square."

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?"

"Certainly", replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square."

"Done", the elderly woman answered. "But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness."

"No problem", said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. "Of course", said the president. "Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure."

The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, "Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada!"

[zardoz]

Here are a few things to think about that you probably have never thought about.


Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in". . . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their *** when they ask where the bathroom is?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

[zardoz]

You know you`re from Wisconsin if...

It is common for the wedding party to go home and do chores between the wedding service and the reception.

The town you grew up in had a bar called Ma's Place.

Your best shirt has a big letter G on it.

You know how to polka, but never tried it sober.

FFA was the most popular club in high school.

You've seen a Hodag, or, at least you think that's what it was.

You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.

You know it's traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between ceremony and the reception.

You were delighted to get a miniature snow shovel for your 3rd birthday.

You can recognize someone from Illinois by their driving.

You buy your Christmas presents at Fleet Farm.

You are a connoisseur of cheese curds, and find anyone unfamiliar with them to be frighteningly foreign.

You get irritated at sports announcers that pronounce it Wes-con-sin.

You own at least one cheese head.

You spent more on beer than you did on food at your wedding.

You know that Kaukauna is NOT a Hawaiian Island.

You hear someone use the word oof-dah and you don't immediately break into
uncontrollable laughter.

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65mph.

You or someone you know was a Dairy Princess at a county fair.

You know that combine is a noun.

You know what a FIB is.

You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post.

You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.

You can tell the difference between real Wisconsin cheese and that Illinois stuff.

Hunting season schedules are checked before wedding dates are set.

You can visit Luxemburg, Holland, Belgium, Denmark, Berlin, and Poland in one day.

A Friday night date is taking your girlfriend shining for deer.

There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning.

You have driven your car on a lake.

The Packers will always be better than the Vikings, no matter what the standings are.

You know that De Pere is not a wooden structure extending into Da Lake.

You can leave your ice cream in the car while you go into Fleet Farm and it won't melt.

You always believed that vacation meant going up north.

At every wedding you have been to you have had to dance the hoky poky & the chicken dance.

You know what a bubbler is.

Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.

The local gas station sells live bait.

At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

You laugh out loud every time you see a news report about a blizzard shutting down the entire east coast.

Your mom asks, Were you born in a barn? and you know exactly what she means.

You include beer as one of the major food groups.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

Your sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.

You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.

You learned to drive a tractor before the training wheels were off your bike.

Your bank has the name of your town included in its name.

You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your Wisconsin friends.

[vsmith]

This just in..
Cheney and Whittington were apparently hunting Quail, but Dan managed to get away.

[dmoore74]

> CHENEY SAYS SHOOTING OF FELLOW HUNTER WAS BASED ON FAULTY INTELLIGENCE
>
>
> Believed Shooting Victim Was Zawahiri, Veep Says.
>
> Vice President *** Cheney revealed today that he shot a fellow
> hunter while on a quail hunting trip over the weekend because he

> believed the man was the fugitive terror mastermind Ayman al-Zawahiri.
>
> Mr. Cheney acknowledged that the man he sprayed with pellets on
> Saturday was not al-Zawahiri but rather Harry Whittington, a
> 78-year-old millionaire lawyer from Austin, blaming the mix-up on
> "faulty intelligence."
>
> "I believed I had credible intelligence that al-Zawahiri had
> infiltrated my hunting party in disguise with the intent of spraying
> me with pellets," Mr. Cheney told reporters. "Only after I shot Harry
> in the face and he shouted 'Cheney, you ***' did I realize that
> this intelligence was faulty."
>
> Moments after Mr. Cheney's assault on Mr. Whittington, Mr.
> al-Zawahiri appeared in a new videotape broadcast on al-Jazeera to
> announce that he was uninjured in the vice president's attack because,
> in his words, "I was in Pakistan."
>
> An aide to the vice president said he believed that the American
> people would believe Mr. Cheney's version of events, but added, "If he
> was going to shoot any of his cronies right now it's a shame it wasn't
> Jack Abramoff."
>
> At the White House, President George W. Bush defended his vice
> president's shooting of a fellow hunter, saying that the attack sent
> "a strong message to terrorists everywhere."
>
> "The message is, if *** Cheney is willing to shoot an innocent
> American citizen at point-blank range, imagine what he'll do to you,"
> Mr. Bush said.

[vsmith]

I'll add this to the mix...

LOS ANGELES - Television talk shows took aim Monday at Vice President . *** Cheney's accidental weekend shooting in Texas of a hunting companion. Here are a few of the jokes.

___

"Late Show with David Letterman," CBS:

• "Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's *** Cheney."

• "But here is the sad part — before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor."

• "We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."

• "The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash. So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet."

__

"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," NBC:

• "Although it is beautiful here in California, the weather back East has been atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C., *** Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear.

• "That's the big story over the weekend. ... *** Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent."

• "I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?'"

• "*** Cheney is capitalizing on this for Valentine's Day. It's the new *** Cheney cologne. It's called Duck!"

___

"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," Comedy Central:

• "Vice President *** Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird."

• "Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. ... But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted — it's just not worth it."

___

"Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson," CBS:

• "He is a lawyer and he got shot in the face. But he's a lawyer, he can use his other face. He'll be all right."

• "You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.' "

• "The big scandal apparently is that they didn't release the news for 18 hours. I don't think that's a scandal at all. I'm quite pleased about that. Finally there's a secret the vice president's office can keep."

"Apparently the reason they didn't release the information right away is they said we had to get the facts right. That's never stopped them in the past."

[espeefoamer]

The problem with eating lawyer,you will spend the night offering sacrifices to the porcelin god[xx(].

[germanium]

Perhaps they should go hunting lawyers instead of quail. I'm sure many people would pleased to offer a bounty for a brace of dead lawyers - not as digestible as quail, but extremely beneficial to the environment !!!

[zardoz]

A bit poitical, but I can't resist:

For Cheney friends that are planning to join him on his next shooting adventure, it might pay to remember that “duck” is a verb.

Meanwhile officials said Cheney was in violation of the game laws of Texas when he accidentally shot and wounded his hunting companion because his licence lacked a required state hunting stamp. I didn't know you need a 'hunting stamp' for a lawyer!

Maybe those 4 military deferments weren't such a bad idea after all.

---------------------------------------------------
BLAM
Chaney: "4!"
SS agent: "Wrong sport sir"
Chaney: "Oh yeah, DUCK!"
BLAM
SS agent: "Sir maybe you shouldn't yell duck. We are hunting with laywers."
Chaney: "Oh yeah, Hey Wettington back up, and don't just shoot if you hear Duck."
BLAM
Chaney: "STUPID LAYWER!"
BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM
SS agent:"Sir why did you shoot the lawyer?"
Chaney: "I heard lawyer and it just went off."
SS agent:"Sir but why did you reload?"
Chaney: "I missed."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The White House just announced a new strategy in the War on Terrorism. Deciding to accept Bin Laden's offer of a truce, President Bush has extended an invitation to the terrorist leader to visit the United States. The highlight of the visit will be a hunting trip with Vice President Cheney....

And in late-breaking news, Vice President Cheney has invited Hillary Clinton, John Kerry, Al Gore and Cindy Sheehan to go deer hunting with him.

Cheney's lack of military experience is catching up to him. (Note to VP: old guys in bright orange jackets are not ducks.) I guess that he will not be charged with a crime because he shot a lawyer. OK, I can see that, but that's not the best way to get your poll numbers up.

Yes, ladies and gents, this is the man responsible for our continued war efforts.

All of the above are quotes taken from the Dilbert blog. http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/

[zardoz]

Getting old:

Three old guys are out walking along the canal.

First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"

Second one says, "No, its Thursday!"

Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

=====================================================

A man was telling his neighbor at bingo, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."

"Really?" answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"

"Twelve thirty" answered the man.

============================================

A little old man shuffled slowly into the ice cream parlor, and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

"No," he replied, "arthritis".

[zardoz]

tree68,
sure is a strange movie, ins't it? Did you get to see the entire movie? You can get the DVD from CDUniverse for about $8.

gemanium,
Thanks. I didn't know where else to post that item; it's not intended as humor, so I suppose I should not have put it in the humor thread. Oh well. BTW--I agree.

I guess I was feeling a bit philosophical today.

[germanium]

Zardoz - excellent post. (How to stay Young).Some of the moaners and somewhat disagreeable individuals on these forums would improve their lives (and ours) if they to this to heart.

[tree68]

Hey Zardoz - your movie was on the other night (about 3 in the morning - I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep). Interesting how the name originated!

[zardoz]

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them!"

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often ... long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. Then, when necessary, let the tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love ...whether it's ... family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. If it's beyond help, make the best of what you have.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall .... even to the next county, to a foreign country, anywhere, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

[zardoz]

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids?

If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!"

You're never thirty-six and a half. But you're four and a half, going on five!

That's the key.

Then you get into your teens, and now they can't hold you back.
You jump to the next number ... or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life you become 21.

Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk.
He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now. You're just a sour-dumpling.

What's wrong? What's changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes ... it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50, and your dreams are gone. But wait!!! You MAKE IT to 60. You didn't think you would! Then you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.

And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards ... "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"


May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

[locomutt]

Well,at least somebody is watching us !!!!

OOPS,WHOA Get those eyes out of my bedroom !!!!!!![}:)]