WSOR 3801 wrote: This story was in Trains magazine, I believe, from Quebec. The story I read was the engineer hit a carload of teens one early morning. So after that, he would lay on the whistle from one end of town to the other, around 500-600 in the morning.
This story was in Trains magazine, I believe, from Quebec. The story I read was the engineer hit a carload of teens one early morning. So after that, he would lay on the whistle from one end of town to the other, around 500-600 in the morning.
Some of these urban legends have just enough detail to sound almost plausible. This one seems to jump countries and generations.
Ancient Tech Support
Being Crazy,keeps you from going "INSANE" !! "The light at the end of the tunnel,has been turned off due to budget cuts" NOT AFRAID A Vet., and PROUD OF IT!!
THINGS I'VE LEARNED LIVING IN KENTUCKY:>>Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.>>There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Kentucky.>>There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Kentucky plus >a couple no one's seen before.>
>>If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.>>Onced and twiced are words.>>It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.>>People actually grow and eat okra.>>Fixinto is one word.>>There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then >there is supper.>
>>Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when>you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!>>Backards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'>>>DJeet? is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'>>You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time >it is.>>You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.>>>You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.>>YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM KENTUCKY IF:>>You measure distance in minutes.>>>You've ever had to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.>>You use 'fix' as a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the store.'>>All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, >vegetable, grain, insect or animal.>>>You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both>unlocked.>>You know what a 'DAWG' is.>>You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car .>>You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.>>The local papers cover national and international news on one page, >but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.>>>You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.>>You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a little warm.'>>You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and>Christmas.>>Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as'goin' Wal-martin' >or off to 'Wally World.'>>>You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good >pinto-bean weather.>
>>A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop . . .it's a Coke,>regardless of brand or flavor. Example: 'What kinda coke you want?'>>Fried catfish is the other white meat.>>We don't need no stinkin driver's ed . . .. if our mama says we can >drive, we can drive.>>You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from >Kentucky (and those who just wish they were).>>Not EVERYONE can be a Kentuckian; it's an art form and a gift from >God
I'm a Kentuckian and proud of it!!!
This came to me from another Kentuckian.
Dan
CNW 6000 wrote:I've heard the same thing about being from Wisconsin. Pretty funny.
I believe that this can be applied to all 50 states!!
At least it's a good state to be from....far away when you have too!!!!!
(Derby Time is a great example)
CNW 6000 wrote:I've been to KY a few times. There sure are some neat parts of that state. My sister and bro-in-law are stationed at Ft. Knox.
Stationed at Ft. Knox. Sounds like a "golden" opportunity for them.
I had a thought like-
'I bet the local Credit Union is pretty well stacked!'
"Stuff I Learned While I Was Alive"...
What's good for you depends largely on who sponsors the study.No man is an island, but many are that large.A concert is where they ruin all the songs you enjoyed on the radio.The upside to dying is that you don't have to go to work the next day.There is no "I" in team, but there is a "me."Don't judge a book by its cover; judge it by the movie.When you get mad, take ten deep breaths. If you're still mad, it's okay to hurt someone.The world is divided into haves and have-nots: Those who have a sense of humor and those who do not.Don't count your chickens before they're are all in one basket.Judging by our political decisions, hindsight is 50-50.
No means no. So does pepper spray.You just think it's all in your head.The last thing you want your relationship to become is serious.The traffic is always lighter in someone else's lane.The best part about gay men is that they're not always trying to prove that they're not gay.Let no one belittle your integrity without paying you good money to do so.What we could really use is freedom from the press.Imagine how many people would get hit by trains if the trains didn't stay on those tracks.The average American attention span is...It takes a lot of money to run for President. Over three bucks a gallon.Swingers cheat on each other together.Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for one day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll stink for the rest of his life.If you go the wrong direction, everything is overseas.God is whatever came before the Big Bang.Everyone has that uncle you just can't trust. Mine is Uncle Sam.Live each day like it's your second to last. That way you can fall sleep at night.The real world is a figment of our lack of imagination.If it weren't for the Second, maybe we wouldn't have to plea the Fifth.Men are hit by lightning four times more often than are women, proof that God is improving Her aim.Remember that you are totally unique just like everyone else.
....Can't comment about the "golden opportunity" and the Credit Union being "stacked"....but I can say this.....Ft. Knox...Armored School...break room had the best glazed donuts I ever have eaten.....But that was 55 years ago....ha.
Quentin
Studies have shown that personality loss comes from long-term exposure to fluorescent lighting. Well, that and holding your gas. Your only defense is to get a little zany...
Top Ten Ways to Salvage Your Personality from Fluorescent Lighting
10. Wear a sign that reads, "Out of Service. IT called."9. On Casual Friday, bring your teddy bear.8. Imagine the others in a naked barroom brawl. 7. Create a nameplate that reads, "Very Important Peon." 6. Whenever someone hands you work, ask if they want fries with that. 5. Slip and fall. File a lawsuit. Watch Oprah Winfrey. 4. Every time your neighbor clears his throat, clear yours twice. 3. When management asks you to assume a new role, tell them that you never assume. 2. Arrange a Ditch Day for seniors. 1. During reviews, say that you have taken up meditation and that your career goal is now to swallow the universe. Remind them that you will still be observing Jewish holidays.
Meanwhile, back in the boredroom, managers are "connecting" over pastries and Great Questions.
"That's a great question. Let's schedule a meeting to discuss our meeting schedule."
Management can spend weeks deciding a temperature for the thermostat. We call them chairpersons for good reason: They're always sitting around. Imagine how much work they could get done if they weren't always talking about how much work they could get done.
Today management is discussing the Corporate Catheter, which will reduce time lost to potty breaks. Coupled with the Corporate I.V., there should be no reason for anyone to stand up other than to attend a meeting.
Maybe there's a book in this whole thing: "Just Because We've Got A/C Doesn't Mean It Ain't Hell" ... "Working Hard or Hardly Working?: Why We Want to Vaporize Our Coworkers."
zardoz wrote:"You Know You're Getting Old When..."* you stop bending down to get things and learn to use your toes instead..
The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I really recommend it."
The other man said, "What''s the name of the restaurant?"
The first man knits his brow in obvious concentration and finally says to his companion, "Ah, what is the name of that red flower you give to someone you love?"
His friend replies, "A Carnation?"
"No. No. The other one," the man says.
His friend offers another suggestion, "The Poppy?"
"No," growls the man, "You know the one that is red and has thorns."
His friend says, "Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, yes that''s it," the first man says.
He then turns toward the kitchen and yells, "Rose, what''s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?
About 3 AM, one very cold morning, Trooper Allan Nixon (Oklahoma Highway Patrol) responded to a call there was a car off the shoulder of the road outside Shattuck, OK . He located the car, stuck in deep snow, and with the engine still running.
Pulling in behind the car with his emergency lights on, the Trooper walked to the driver's door to find an older man passed out behind the wheel with a nearly empty vodka bottle on the seat beside him. The driver came awake when the Trooper tapped on the window. Seeing the rotating lights in his rearview mirror, and the State Trooper standing next to his car, the man panicked. He jerked the gearshift into 'drive' and hit the gas. The car's speedometer was showing 20-30-40 and then 50 mph, but it was still stuck in the snow, wheels spinning.
Trooper Nixon, having a sense of humor, began running in place next to the speeding, but still stationary car. The driver was totally freaked, thinking the Trooper was actually keeping up with him. This goes on for about 30 seconds, then the Trooper yelled at the man to 'Pull over!' The man obeyed, turned his wheel and stopped the engine. Needless to say, the man from Dumas, Texas was arrested, and is probably still shaking his head over the State Trooper in Oklahoma who could run 50 miles per hour.
Who says Troopers don't have a sense of humor?
Humor at 50+
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live. Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+ year old husband? A: Tell him you're pregnant. Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror? A: The next time you're in front of a mirror, take off your glasses. Q: Why should 50+ year old people use valet parking? A: Valets don't forget where they park your car. Q: Is it common for 50+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage? A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem. Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon. Q: Where do 50+ year olds look for fashionable glasses? A: Their foreheads. Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+ year olds when they enter antique stores? A: "I remember these".
Forgive me if I've posted this before - I just ran across it while doing some housecleaning in my desk.....
Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees
(These tips are an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of "Transportation." This was a serious article and was written for male supervisors of women in the workforce during WWII. For those of you with efficiency issues, pay attention to #8...)
There's no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage. Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:
1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they're less flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.
2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and tend to be cantankerous and fussy. It's always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.
3. General experience indicates that "husky" girls - those who are just a little on the husky side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.
4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination - one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibility of a lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.
5. Stress at the outset the importance of time - the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.
6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they'll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.
7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be les nervousand happier with change.
8. Give every girl and adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick, and wash her hands several times a day.
9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can't shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.
10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl's husband or father may swear vociferously, she'll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.
11. Get enough size variety in operator's uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can't be stressed too much in keeping women happy.
Larry Resident Microferroequinologist (at least at my house) Everyone goes home; Safety begins with you My Opinion. Standard Disclaimers Apply. No Expiration Date Come ride the rails with me! There's one thing about humility - the moment you think you've got it, you've lost it...
This is the story of four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. Consequently, it wound up that Nobody told Anybody, so Everybody blamed Somebody.
this stuff is Hilarious!!!
i hope you guys dont mind but im going to send some of the jokes made here to some friends of mine.
Army National Guard E3MOS 91BI have multiple scales nowZ, N, HO, O, and G.
DO YOU HAVE AAADD? I was diagnosed with AAADD - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.This is how it manifests:I decide to water my garden.As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car anddecide my car needs washing.As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porchtable that I brought up from the mailbox earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbagecan under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out thegarbage first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I takeout the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only onecheck left.My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the houseto my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Cokeaside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I realize the Cokeis getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator tokeep it cold.As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on thecounter catches my eye--they need to be watered. I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glassesthat I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going towater the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container withwater and suddenly I spot the TV remote Someone left it on the kitchentable.I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking forthe remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so Idecide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll waterthe flowers.I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on thefloor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipeup the spill.Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning todo. At the end of the day:-the driveway is flooded,-the garden is parched,-the car isn't washed,-the bills aren't paid,-there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,-there is still only one check in my check book,-I can't find the remote,-I can't find my glasses,-and I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm reallybaffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help forit, but first I'll check my e-mail.
well i dont have AAADD But i have ADD and to tell you the truth it jus plain SUCKS!
that stuff always happens to me. like today
i meant to take out the trash.....i forgot
I meant to fix my bike...i got stuck chatting online (which reminds me....what do i need to do hmmm.....well ill figure it out later )
and now i dont even remember what i was suposed to do later today.
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"Harry: "9."Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"Harry: "36."And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."The principal and Harry both agreed.Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"Harry, after a moment: "Legs."Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"The principal wondered why she would ask such a question!Harry replied: "Pockets."Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"Harry: "Pants."Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"Harry: "Shake hands."The principal was trembling.Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"Harry: "Fire truck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong......
A little levity, courtesy of some MIT students...
http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/
Props to da Milwaukee beerNut for posting on fuzzybroken's forum!
Brian (IA) http://blhanel.rrpicturearchives.net.
zardoz wrote: The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog." uses every letter of the alphabet.
The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog." uses every letter of the alphabet.
Where is the "v"?
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