Trains.com

Would you believe..... (a little humor) Locked

173356 views
3436 replies
1 rating 2 rating 3 rating 4 rating 5 rating
  • Member since
    March 2002
  • 9,265 posts
Posted by edblysard on Monday, December 15, 2003 3:39 PM
So your the Walrus at the end of the Long and Winding Road?
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

If your talking bout a resolution, hey we all want to change the world......

sorry wrong song



while in the yellow submarine [:D]

23 17 46 11

  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Monday, December 15, 2003 1:37 PM
Haha

  • Member since
    August 2003
  • From: Bottom Left Corner, USA
  • 3,420 posts
Posted by dharmon on Monday, December 15, 2003 1:35 PM
Look on the bright side Kev

1. It had a picture of women on it.......[}:)]

2. You can use it to scrape the snow off your windshield.[:)]
  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Monday, December 15, 2003 1:33 PM
Wow i just got a postcard..

its a half and half card.. it has a guy who is shoveling snow.. and on the other side it has a guy surrounded by 3 women on the beach with a big title.. Wish you were here?

FRigga..frackin..liga..rinkin...dinga..ramngign

Well we jsut had a snow storm that dumbed 13 inches on us, thats the cruel irony of that post card.
  • Member since
    August 2003
  • From: Bottom Left Corner, USA
  • 3,420 posts
Posted by dharmon on Monday, December 15, 2003 11:44 AM
I only track the little yellow submarines....

singing in them is Pops' milleau
  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Monday, December 15, 2003 11:36 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

If your talking bout a resolution, hey we all want to change the world......

sorry wrong song



while in the yellow submarine [:D]
  • Member since
    September 2003
  • From: Philadelphia
  • 440 posts
Posted by michaelstevens on Monday, December 15, 2003 10:19 AM
Oliver,

I'm pretty sure that the plural of "it" is "them", or something like that.
British Mike in Philly
  • Member since
    August 2003
  • From: Bottom Left Corner, USA
  • 3,420 posts
Posted by dharmon on Monday, December 15, 2003 9:53 AM
If your talking bout a resolution, hey we all want to change the world......

sorry wrong song
  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Monday, December 15, 2003 9:43 AM
My new years Resolution is
To wait until the new yar to make a resolution.
  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Monday, December 15, 2003 8:32 AM
It's time for . . . . . . Monday Madness [8D] [:I] [:o)]


I have been thinking (yes, Dan, I occassionally do that) [;)] about my New Years Resolution. I have decided it is time to give 100% at work. So here are the plans to do so. I will give:

12 % on Monday ( you know it is so HARD to get started after the nice weekend)
23 % on Tuesday (getting in the work mode now)
30 % on Wednesday (really on a roll--get out of the way)
20 % on Thursday (starting to make a few plans for the weekend)
15 % on Friday (just can't wait for that 5 o'clock bell and zoom--I'm outta here)

Yes 100 % -- I know it is hard but somebody has got to do it. [:D]
  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Monday, December 15, 2003 7:25 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by vsmith

BANG! that's a good joke!

Thought I'd throw this on itno the mix...

Subject: New Words for a New Century

Each year the Washington Post's Style Invitational asks readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter and supplying
a new definition. Here are the 2001 winners:



Intaxication:

- Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was
your money to start with.



Reintarnation:

- Coming back to life as a hillbilly.



Foreploy:

- Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.



Giraffiti:

- Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.



Sarchasm:

- The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
doesn't get it.



Inoculatte:

- To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.



Hipatitis:

- Terminal coolness.



Osteopornosis:

- A degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit)



Karmageddon:

- It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes,
right? And then, like, the earth explodes and it's like, a serious
bummer.



Glibido:

- All talk and no action.



Dopeler Effect:

- The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you have been
smoking marijuana.



And, the pick of the literature:



Ignoranus:

A person who's both stupid and an *** hole.




Hi everyone!

Whew! To find a certain post in this thread, now that is some achievement! Takes some time, but re-reading the jokes isn't bad at all. And why dig this one out? Well, I created a new word:

Wittycat:

A synonym for Mookie (the guys from the Washington Post wouldn't have a clue, but - their loss...)

And maybe Kev is right after all, maybe the singular for sheep should be shep, take the word shepherd for example....or should it be plural?

Have fun!
Oliver
  • Member since
    January 2002
  • From: Omaha, Nebraska
  • 1,920 posts
Posted by Willy2 on Sunday, December 14, 2003 9:52 AM
Here is a joke a heard on "Corny Joke Day" hosted by Dr. Laura ( I don't know how many of you listen to her ) but anyway here is the joke.

A child was no doing well in public school. He just did not do well. His parents debated and debated over if they should send him to a private catholic school. Finally they did it. When his first report card came back everything was still bad except for math. The parents asked why he was doing so well in math. The child answered "When I saw that guy hanging on the plus sign I knew they meant business!"

Kind of a cruel joke but still funny. I'll see if I can think of any others from that day.

Willy

  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, December 13, 2003 4:19 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by raakone

A girl asks her mother for advice on finding "The right man"

"1", she says, "Don't sleep with a man before you're married!"
"2", she adds, "don't marry a man who snores!"

Sounds like a catch-22, eh?



raakone [:)]

Congrats on the new star. [:)]
  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, December 13, 2003 3:26 PM
A girl asks her mother for advice on finding "The right man"

"1", she says, "Don't sleep with a man before you're married!"
"2", she adds, "don't marry a man who snores!"

Sounds like a catch-22, eh?
  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, December 13, 2003 2:04 AM
It's . . . . . Saturday's Silly Season . . . [:)]


Daily Thoughts

"Behind every successful man stands a proud wife and a
surprised mother-in-law." Brook Hays

Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.

"A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops
noticing the terrible things her children do because
she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her
grandchildren do." Lois Wyse
  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Friday, December 12, 2003 7:33 AM
Three thousand!


oh sorry, i didn't realize the joke was over...
  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Friday, December 12, 2003 1:36 AM
OK, here we go again. It's the Finally Friday edition of the Humor Thread Paper. [:D]
I know everyone looks forward to the Finally Friday edition, me especially. [:D] [}:)] [;)]




Last Laugh

Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously
when the auctioneer suddenly announced, "A gentleman
in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If
it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000."

There was a moment's silence, and then from the back
of the room came the cry, "Two thousand five hundred!"




  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, December 11, 2003 7:21 PM
Cheese mine and
Nacho average dog


let me think of some on the spot

this is harder then i thought

hmmmm

Oh heck i can't think of any
BLAST!

maybe i can think of a one liner joke

What is E.T short for?









A: he's only got tiny legs
  • Member since
    August 2003
  • From: Bottom Left Corner, USA
  • 3,420 posts
Posted by dharmon on Thursday, December 11, 2003 5:44 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

QUOTE: Originally posted by JoeKoh

ouch! heres an oldy but a goody
how does a cat and dog say merry christmas?
fleas navidad!
stay safe
Joe


....that's because it's nacho average dog.........


just for you Mook.[;)]



Leave her alone . . . cheese mine [:D] [:D] [}:)] [;)] [:D]
This one had people running to see if I was hurt!!! Now I can't work - darn!

[:D] Mook


We'll have you retired on disability, (mental) that is, in no time.....
  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, December 11, 2003 7:13 AM
Good morning!

It is early!

I like that logic and reason, that one is good [:D]

  • Member since
    June 2001
  • From: US
  • 13,488 posts
Posted by Mookie on Thursday, December 11, 2003 6:36 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

QUOTE: Originally posted by JoeKoh

ouch! heres an oldy but a goody
how does a cat and dog say merry christmas?
fleas navidad!
stay safe
Joe


....that's because it's nacho average dog.........


just for you Mook.[;)]



Leave her alone . . . cheese mine [:D] [:D] [}:)] [;)] [:D]
This one had people running to see if I was hurt!!! Now I can't work - darn!

[:D] Mook

She who has no signature! cinscocom-tmw

  • Member since
    June 2001
  • From: US
  • 13,488 posts
Posted by Mookie on Thursday, December 11, 2003 6:35 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

QUOTE: Originally posted by JoeKoh

ouch! heres an oldy but a goody
how does a cat and dog say merry christmas?
fleas navidad!
stay safe
Joe


....that's because it's nacho average dog.........


just for you Mook.[;)]
Thanx Dan - just about to start work and now I can do so with a smile! Even more so when I figure you had to really reach for that one!

Mook

She who has no signature! cinscocom-tmw

  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, December 11, 2003 1:04 AM
Time for the next edition of the humor thread paper . . . hip, hip, hurray. [8D]


Daily Thoughts

"An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the
William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone
Ranger." Dan Rather

I'll listen to logic and reason when it comes out on
CD.

"The thing that impresses me the most about America is
the way parents obey their children." King Edward VIII

======================================================
  • Member since
    April 2003
  • From: Defiance Ohio
  • 13,323 posts
Posted by JoeKoh on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 4:31 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

Joe - you and Dan have been hanging out together again! Groan

Mookie

thank you thank you[:)]
were booked here through new years!!!!![:D]
stay safe
Joe

Deshler Ohio-crossroads of the B&O Matt eats your fries.YUM! Clinton st viaduct undefeated against too tall trucks!!!(voted to be called the "Clinton St. can opener").

 

  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 4:21 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by Mikeygaw

or all ten reasons?


LOL

thats AHAHAHAAH really good!

hahahahahahahahahahah

[:D]

Groan, Dan and his Nachos!
  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 11:34 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

QUOTE: Originally posted by JoeKoh

ouch! heres an oldy but a goody
how does a cat and dog say merry christmas?
fleas navidad!
stay safe
Joe


....that's because it's nacho average dog.........


just for you Mook.[;)]



Leave her alone . . . cheese mine [:D] [:D] [}:)] [;)] [:D]
  • Member since
    August 2003
  • From: Bottom Left Corner, USA
  • 3,420 posts
Posted by dharmon on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 11:28 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by JoeKoh

ouch! heres an oldy but a goody
how does a cat and dog say merry christmas?
fleas navidad!
stay safe
Joe


....that's because it's nacho average dog.........


just for you Mook.[;)]
  • Member since
    June 2001
  • From: US
  • 13,488 posts
Posted by Mookie on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 11:25 AM
Joe - you and Dan have been hanging out together again! Groan

Mookie

She who has no signature! cinscocom-tmw

  • Member since
    April 2003
  • From: Defiance Ohio
  • 13,323 posts
Posted by JoeKoh on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 7:17 AM
ouch! heres an oldy but a goody
how does a cat and dog say merry christmas?
fleas navidad!
stay safe
Joe

Deshler Ohio-crossroads of the B&O Matt eats your fries.YUM! Clinton st viaduct undefeated against too tall trucks!!!(voted to be called the "Clinton St. can opener").

 

  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, December 10, 2003 12:34 AM
It's time for . . . . . Hump Day Helpers . . .yeaaaaaaaaa [:D]

Let's hear it for Hump Day . . . yea raw . . . oh yea . . . [:D]




SLOGAN OF THE DAY:

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn!

OUCH [;)]

Join our Community!

Our community is FREE to join. To participate you must either login or register for an account.

Search the Community

Newsletter Sign-Up

By signing up you may also receive occasional reader surveys and special offers from Trains magazine.Please view our privacy policy