Would you believe..... (a little humor)

[edblysard]

Ok,
Do you remember who Geraldean was?
Flip you for it!
What you see is what you get!
Ed

[locomutt]

PLOP!! PLOP!! FIZZ!! FIZZ!! OH WHAT A RELIEF IT IS!!!

Well you'll wonder wher you went last night when you brush you teeth with dynomite!
[oops] That's supposed to be You'll woder where the YELLOW went when you brush
your teeth with pepsodent!

You can trust your car to the man who wears the star!!

And one of the infamous one from a church:YOU THINK IT"S HOT HERE,[}:)]


locomutt[8][swg]

[edblysard]

Joe,
My wife Aimee use to work for Texaco, in their production company.
Jim, I remember the Shake and Bake comerical also, the little girl had such a southern accent it hurt.
You would have though her daddy and her baked a possum...with sweet taters on the side, and grits on the back burner.
Ed

[Anonymous]

It is a little early for the Sunday edition of the Humor Thread Paper, but I am going to press anyway. I must go to bed early or I can't get up for church AND I AM GOING TO CHURCH. [:)]


Remember the church around the corner I told you all about some time back? Well here are a few "signs" they have had up recently. I always enjoy their signs. [;)]


Searching for a New Look . . . . .
Try a Faith Lift.


The Best Vitamin for a Christian is . . . . . .
B 1 .


Try Our Sundays . . . . .
They Are Better Than Baskin-Robins.


Now remember too that Kevin said he rearranges signs. [:(] Wonder what he can do with these? [}:)]

[Anonymous]

One of my all time favorite commercials was/is for ShakenBake. [8D] I still remember one of their very first commercials. (Needless to say, it was not in color--oh that hurt.) The little girl was telling her daddy, "It's ShakenBake daddyyyyyy and I helpeddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd."


I will never forget her drawl. (Of course I don't have one.) [;)] btw The swamp land in Arizona has once again been reduced to only $2,497.50 an acre. I think it is getting to be a real steal. I will gladly subdivide into 2 acre plots. Meanwhile back at the ranch. This commercial stands out in my memory glazzed there forever. It was just toooo funny then and to me now.


Another commercial, hopefully shown here in Arkansas only, was for Buick. They had some kind of sweepstakes and a lady from our state won. This was a commercial during a golf tournament on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. It was on about 3 or 4 years ago. But the lady said, "And I won a brand new Buickkkk ccccccccccccccccccccccccc--dannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn." When I heard her drawl I said, "Please God, don't let that commercial be seen anywhere but Arkansas." It was terrible. Oh well, what can you say. [;)]

[JoeKoh]

QUOTE: Originally posted by edblysard

Yes,
Mr Pibb is still around.
Do you know what Exxon wanted to put in your tank?
Ed[:D]

Ed
Im not that old but you can trust your car to go far if you take it to the man with the star.[:D]
stay safe
joe

[cherokee woman]

Ed, I had to check with hubby (locomutt) to remember:

PUT A TIGER IN YOUR TANK.

cherokee woman

[edblysard]

Yes,
Mr Pibb is still around.
Do you know what Exxon wanted to put in your tank?
Ed[:D]

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by edblysard

Okay,
Lets see who can remember...
What were the times on the Dr Pepper lable?
And any time is Dr Pepper time!
Getting more Frosty,
Ed

Hey, I don't drink or even like Dr. P. But I can remember 10 - 2 - 4. [;)]

Now how about the drink, Mr. Pib. Is it still around? [:p]

[edblysard]

Okay,
Lets see who can remember...
What were the times on the Dr Pepper lable?
And any time is Dr Pepper time!
Getting more Frosty,
Ed

[cherokee woman]

Jim, looks like trying the color fonts didn't work: Even though I'm 51, I THINK I need some teaching to put some color in replies.

cherokee woman

[cherokee woman]

[blue]JIM:

Thanks for emailing the [red]virus [black]list to us. Walt & I have several people we want
to send it to.

cherokee woman

[Anonymous]

Some more for Saturday's Silly Season [:I] [:o)] [8)] [;)] [8D]



"The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all
the things you've started."

So I looked around the house to see all the
things I started and hadn't finished... and before
going to work this morning, I finished off a
bottle of Black Label Scotch, four Bud's, two bags of
Frito's, a bowl of Christmas chocolates, and a half
bottle of Valium.

You have no idea how relaxed and calm I feel.

You may pass this on to those you feel are in
need of Inner Peace

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by CShaveRR

Yes, "Zing" was probably the slogan just before "Things go better". I can't remember where "Coke Adds Life" fit in, but they finally hit pay dirt with "It's the Real Thing!".
The radio jingle that included "Zing! What a feeling!" also mentioned "King-Size(d)" bottles, which were 12 ounces, in the day when a standard Coke was 6.5 oz. They had increased to 10 ounces and 16 ounces by the time I was in high school.
Dating myself? So be it...I was at least 10 when all of this took place.

Carl [:)]

Why, whatever are you talking about? [}:)] [;)] [:D]

[Nora]

Yesterday I went to the car wash. It's just a little car wash at the gas station, big enough for one car, and it's the kind where they give you a code to enter on the keypad for the car wash. There was a longish line for the car wash so after some waiting, I got to the front of the line and punched in the code. This is what the machine said:

Wash In Use

Please Wait
or Deposit More Money
for More Options

Does this mean that if I pay more, I have an option other than waiting for the car already in the car wa***o finish?? Maybe it ejects the car in front of me immediately and lets me go in?

--Nora

[CShaveRR]

Yes, "Zing" was probably the slogan just before "Things go better". I can't remember where "Coke Adds Life" fit in, but they finally hit pay dirt with "It's the Real Thing!".
The radio jingle that included "Zing! What a feeling!" also mentioned "King-Size(d)" bottles, which were 12 ounces, in the day when a standard Coke was 6.5 oz. They had increased to 10 ounces and 16 ounces by the time I was in high school.
Dating myself? So be it...I was at least 10 when all of this took place.

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

QUOTE: Originally posted by CShaveRR

Yes, I remember that old slogan about things going better with Coke.

Another old joke, based on another old Coke slogan:

Q. What did the elephant say when it sat on a Coke bottle?
A. Zing! What a feeling!

Carl - go stand in the corner with Dan! [:(]

Oh doin't worrry, you could fit 6 of myselfs on one couch for 2 peopl!
And here I though I was the only one sending people to the corner. [:p]

So "why" is Dan in the corner? What did I miss?

You know, I am not sure if Kev's couch is in the corner OR the doghouse. Could be either, depending on IF he sent the rat pic to ME. If he did, he might be there a while. But anyway, most couchs can seat at least 3 or 4 people (depending on how skinny they are). So I am sure Kev has room on the couch for some company.

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by CShaveRR

Yes, I remember that old slogan about things going better with Coke.

Another old joke, based on another old Coke slogan:

Q. What did the elephant say when it sat on a Coke bottle?
A. Zing! What a feeling!

Well I don't remember that one. It must be older than "Things go better with Coke".

But you know we are "dating" ourselves acknowledging that we do remember those things anyway.

You know, I THINK I just "heard" that things go better with Coke. Yea, that's the ticket, I just heard they did. [;)] [}:)] [:D]

[Anonymous]

The next edition of . . . . . Saturday's Silly Season . . . yeaaaaaaaaaa [8D]


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Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in
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Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays
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AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what
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The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that
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Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen
splits erratically with a message appearing on each
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Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy
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Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into
hundreds of little units, each of which do practically
nothing, but all of which claim to be the most
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Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with
marrying its own motherboard.

Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will
lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time
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New World Order virus: probably harmless, but it makes
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Nike virus: Just Does It!

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly
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Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not
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PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for
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Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a
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Right To Life virus: Won't allow you to delete a file,
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Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it
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Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any
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[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

QUOTE: Originally posted by CShaveRR

Yes, I remember that old slogan about things going better with Coke.

Another old joke, based on another old Coke slogan:

Q. What did the elephant say when it sat on a Coke bottle?
A. Zing! What a feeling!

Carl - go stand in the corner with Dan! [:(]

And here I though I was the only one sending people to the corner. [:p]

So "why" is Dan in the corner? What did I miss?

You know, I am not sure if Kev's couch is in the corner OR the doghouse. Could be either, depending on IF he sent the rat pic to ME. If he did, he might be there a while. But anyway, most couchs can seat at least 3 or 4 people (depending on how skinny they are). So I am sure Kev has room on the couch for some company.

[Mookie]

QUOTE: Originally posted by CShaveRR

Yes, I remember that old slogan about things going better with Coke.

Another old joke, based on another old Coke slogan:

Q. What did the elephant say when it sat on a Coke bottle?
A. Zing! What a feeling!

Carl - go stand in the corner with Dan! [:(]

[Mookie]

QUOTE: Originally posted by kevinstheRRman

True, but I am firm Believer Deep down, That it will eventually cause relationship problems, maybe not immediate, but it makes a solid base and perhaps in the actual Relationship problem itself, won't be so present, but it just adds up like a glass bottle pyramid, until it all falls.. which bottles were the playboy magazine.. there all the same colour bottles, in the ned, it won';t be so much the individual problems that cause a relationship to crumble, it'll be one giant one.

A agree with you, and wrote, 3D woemn shouldn't be so worried about 2D women. But some girls don't like it, My girlfriend is a right winged conservative person. She doens't like things like that

besides, with FHM, your more likely to get your GF to try and top the pictures that she sees in that magazine!

You may be on to something - we divorced after 11 years. (the Playboy Magazine) The FHM - I will pass on, since I don't have a clue.

Mook

[CShaveRR]

Yes, I remember that old slogan about things going better with Coke.

Another old joke, based on another old Coke slogan:

Q. What did the elephant say when it sat on a Coke bottle?
A. Zing! What a feeling!

[Anonymous]

True, but I am firm Believer Deep down, That it will eventually cause relationship problems, maybe not immediate, but it makes a solid base and perhaps in the actual Relationship problem itself, won't be so present, but it just adds up like a glass bottle pyramid, until it all falls.. which bottles were the playboy magazine.. there all the same colour bottles, in the ned, it won';t be so much the individual problems that cause a relationship to crumble, it'll be one giant one.

A agree with you, and wrote, 3D woemn shouldn't be so worried about 2D women. But some girls don't like it, My girlfriend is a right winged conservative person. She doens't like things like that

besides, with FHM, your more likely to get your GF to try and top the pictures that she sees in that magazine!

[Mookie]

You know Kevin - everytime I see the name Playboy - I have to remember when I was much younger and married to my 1st husband. He subscribed to Playboy. And there were two "trains" of thought on this. First was that I had enough self-confidence that it didn't bother me - I thought it was kind of silly, but to each his own. I also thought that ladies that fuss over a photograph in a magazine that is sold in public aren't being terribly realistic. I would worry more over the breathing kind. Anyway - I read his Playboy from cover to cover. I read some of the most well-written articles on a lot of different subjects. They weren't so dry I couldn't get through them without taking a nap and yet weren't so frivolous that they insulted my intelligence.

So people laugh when you say you read Playboy for the articles, but believe me - I did.

Mook

[Anonymous]

I have to Write this somewhere... I've taken up writing Editorials. This one of mine appeared in the local paper, and I will try to type it up the best I can to recreate it, Its humor based on seriousness.

Perfect for this thread, and it has absolutely nothing to do with Trains, so If your the kind of person who believes everything on this site must pertain to Trains, close your eyes, block your hears and start saying LA la la la la
*****************************************

The difference between a Socially Acceptable magazine, and a not Socially acceptable magazine.

Overated: Playboy.

I was in a Store, not that many weeks ago, When the person in front of me was about to purchase a Playboy. He looked about 18 or 19, My best guess he didn't have a Girlfriend. I already had time to discuss in my head what would happen if i were to do the same, Death by decapitation, .. An eternity in the dog house.. And i mena, i would never be on ym way out. So i had time to chuckel at my thoughts, and roll my eyes, when apparently, my first guess couldn't have been more wrong. Here comes his Girlfriend cutting in front of everyone, unstoppable like a runnaway freight train, Well I saw the look in this guys eyes, he had th4e same look a cow does when it looks at an oncomming train. I was already internally laughing my head off, trying to keep my outside as poker face as humanly possible. Sure they argued and squabled, he didn't buy the magaizne, and they took the argument outside, I could almsot see myself yelling, Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! I paid for my two literes of orange Juice, and walked past them outside, they were pointing fingers, and swearing and carrying on.. I couldn't help but laugh, all this porblems, over a magazine? don't get me wrong, this magazine was going to have a serious imapc on their relationship, The argument that was happening now was jsut the tip od the ice berg, and their future Realtionship was probobly going to be the very shacky, and she probobly was never going to ever trust him again.

ALL that foir a magazine, seems hardly worth it to me.

But there is a flip side of the Coin.

Under rated: FHM.

For those fo yuo who aren't au-courrant with various magazines, there are YM for girs, that subliminaly spells out 6-6-6 on the cover, except males can't see it. For the male side there is a magaizene called FHM. The best thing about thsi magazine is that it is Parent, or Even Girlfriend approved, unless shes living back in the Wendell McFall days, (civil war time). The good thing about this magazine, is that it doesn't only picture women in small outfits, (its worse just about on every singlepublic beach, or Hooters) it has Gadgets and how to build things. I built my own Radio using a quaker oatmeal box, And i also from that magazine found out that Wal-mart had the best price for the digital Camera I bought. I saved 20 bucks, As i wa soriginally going to buy it at target. I'm a cheap person, so 20 bucks means a lot to me.
Best off, its rated G by the magazine corporation and listed under "Family magazines" and even if an offencive photo is taken Anyhting offensive is airbrushed out.
Soo anyone who purchases FHM can easily say, this time I REALLY did purchase it for its literary value.

[zardoz]

Oliver:


To change temperature given in Fahrenheit (F) to Celsius (C)
Start with (F); subtract 32; multiply by 5; divide by 9; the answer is (C)

To change temperature given in Celsius (C) to Fahrenheit (F)
Start with (C); multiply by 9; divide by 5; add on 32; the answer is (F)

Happy calculating!

p.s.
0c=32f
100c=212f
-40c=-40f

[Anonymous]

Hi, Mookie!

It's raining in Zagreb today, perfect for an afternoon nap. Luckily the temperature is slightly above zero (that's zero Centigrade or Celsius - the freezing point, I still have to learn to convert to Fahrenheit), but I expect it to freeze in the evening, and that'll be "fun".
It has been frosty these days, but no snow.
As for the January Blahs - what I can tell for sure is that no snow nor cold nor clouds can stand in the way of your sharp, yet warm and friendly wit!

(I'm getting very close to my first star!)

Oliver

[Mookie]

Kevin! Happy 800! You should really say something in French - something romantic for the ladies on the forum and at the same time, something that pertains to trains!

And you do look so good in all those GREEN stars!!!!!!!

Oliver - how is your weather? Can you tell I have the January Blahs - some snow, some cold and some cloudy.....

Mookie

[Anonymous]

A man joined a big multinational company as a trainee. On his first day, he dialled the pantry and shouted into the phone: "Get me a f#*king cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded: "You fool, you've dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No," replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who you are talking to, you idiot?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director indignantly.
"Good!" replied the trainee and put down the phone.


Actual Instruction Labels:

- ON PACKAGING FOR A "ROWENTA" IRON:
Do not iron clothes on body.

- ON "BOOTS" CHILDRENS' COUGH MEDICINE:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

- ON A HAIR DRYER:
Do not use while sleeping.

- ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

- ON A BAR OF "DIAL" SOAP:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

- ON A FROZEN DINNER:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

- ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP:
Fits one head.

- ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESSERT:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

- ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

- ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:
Not to be used for the other use.

- ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

- ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:
Product will be hot after heating.

- ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):
Warning: may cause drowsiness.

- ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:
Warning: keep out of children.

- ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

- ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS:
Warning: contains nuts.

(Xcuse the language)

Have a nice weekend everyone!
Oliver