Would you believe..... (a little humor)

[Anonymous]

This is perfect for Monday Madness . . [:p]

But I still want one, anyone want to buy it for me? [?] [;)]

Bullet Proof -- yes, but will it survice an impact from an SD40-2 [}:)]

(That was just a joke, ok)


http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/04/14/eveningnews/main611897.shtml

[Anonymous]

Oh i know Jim,oh I know- Stuff apears in the fliar all the time, and i go and they say "sorry were fresh out"

And then I wing up bad tempered, and then I wind u anghry at the world, and a cchatacalismic servies of events are set in motion..

Good stuff..

[Anonymous]

Monday Madness . . . . . . . [:)]

Everyone knows Murphy's Law: "Anything that can go wrong, will..." - Here are some other laws you may not have heard!

Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Lowery's Law of Home Repair: If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Beach's Law: Interchangeable parts aren't.

William's Law: There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.

Lane's Law of Supply and Demand: The one item you need is always in short supply.

Cannon's Karmic Law: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

Norman Einstein's Law: If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

Col. Murphy's Law of Combat: Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder!

[locomutt]

Sorry about the extra posts here. I got carried away with the thought, and fingers typed
faster than my brain digested info.

I have tried to get the extra posts deleted, but not being successful. Guess I'll have
to get in contact with the powers at Trains.com tomorrow to get this corrected.

Again, everyone, please accept my apologies.

[locomutt]

nothing

[locomutt]

nothing

[locomutt]

I'm sorry;Kev.
I couldn't resist that one![:D]

[locomutt]

QUOTE: Originally posted by kevinstheRRman

Jim, I picked up on the OF's

I need someoen to host my Profile picture! it's less then 20KB!

[}:)][:D]BIG HEAD[?]

[Anonymous]

Jim, I picked up on the OF's

I need someoen to host my Profile picture! it's less then 20KB!

[JoeKoh]

simple tax form
name
how much did you make
send it in
sincerely the Irs
stay safe
Joe

[Anonymous]

Sunday Funnies . . . . . . . [:)]

Since April is tax month here is a tax joke. [V]



A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American
friend and was jokingly explaining about the red,
white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag
symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we
talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and
blue after we pay them."

"The same with us," the American said, "only we see
stars, too."

[Anonymous]

Some more Idiot stories . . . . . . .[:o)] [B)] [:0] [:p] [8D]



Number Five Idiot of 2003

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk
looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put
the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign!





Idiot Number Six of 2003

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.

[Anonymous]

Finally Friday . . . . . . . [:p] [;)] [:D]

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

Thursday's Humor Paper . . . . . . . [8D] [8D]


Alzheimer's Test

Count the "F's" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC
STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

If you want to you can post your "count". Tomorrow I will post the answer and the "why" for it.

I will also post some more Idiot stories. [;)] [}:)] [:p]

Do you think there are three?


How many ? 3 ?
Wrong, there are 6 !!--no joke.
Read it again.
The reasoning behind is further down.


The brain cannot process "OF".
Incredible or what ? Go back and look again!!
Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is
a genius. Three is normal, four is quite rare.
Send this to your friends-it drives them crazy.


Now how many people got 3 but would not post it? Come on now, fess up. [:D]

<Jim did the first time> [^]


Well I hope everyone got a kick out . . . oF . . . it anyway. [:D]

[cherokee woman]

QUOTE: Originally posted by vsmith

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

Thursday's Humor Paper . . . . . . . [8D] [8D]


Alzheimer's Test

Count the "F's" in the following text:

1(F)INISHED 2(F)ILES ARE THE RESULT O 3 (F) YEARS O4 (F) SCIENTI 5(F) IC
STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE O 6(F) YEARS.

If you want to you can post your "count". Tomorrow I will post the answer and the "why" for it.

I will also post some more Idiot stories. [;)] [}:)] [:p]

Maybe I'll be in one of the idiot stories tomarrow, but I count only 4 F's![(-D]

....kinda like my elementary school report cards I rediscovered recently! [D)]

ACK! you right! 6 !!!!!! [%-)][D)][%-)][D)]

Wow, the caffine doesnt kick in till after lunch! [banghead]

Well Vic, I only counted 4 myself: maybe I'm not seeing all the Fs, but that's all I
found after looking at that sentence about 10 times!!

[espeefoamer]

I also counted six.

[Anonymous]

I count Six aswell

[zardoz]

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

Thursday's Humor Paper . . . . . . . [8D] [8D]


Alzheimer's Test

Count the "F's" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC
STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

If you want to you can post your "count". Tomorrow I will post the answer and the "why" for it.

I will also post some more Idiot stories. [;)] [}:)] [:p]

Six

[vsmith]

Subject: Science Project

Little Johnny watched the science teacher start

the experiment with the worms.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a jar of stear semen.

The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.

After one day, these were the results:

The first worm in alcohol - dead.

Second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.

Third worm in stear semen - dead.

Fourth worm in soil - alive.

So the Science teacher asked the class -

"What can you learn from this experiment."

Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said,

"As long as you drink, smoke and have sex,

you won't get worms!"

[vsmith]

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

Thursday's Humor Paper . . . . . . . [8D] [8D]


Alzheimer's Test

Count the "F's" in the following text:

1(F)INISHED 2(F)ILES ARE THE RESULT O 3 (F) YEARS O4 (F) SCIENTI 5(F) IC
STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE O 6(F) YEARS.

If you want to you can post your "count". Tomorrow I will post the answer and the "why" for it.

I will also post some more Idiot stories. [;)] [}:)] [:p]

Maybe I'll be in one of the idiot stories tomarrow, but I count only 4 F's![(-D]

....kinda like my elementary school report cards I rediscovered recently! [D)]

ACK! you right! 6 !!!!!! [%-)][D)][%-)][D)]

Wow, the caffine doesnt kick in till after lunch! [banghead]

[CShaveRR]

Jim, I count twelve.

Okay, now that I'm awake and my eyes have uncrossed, six.

Paula, I tried adding the photo with no success last year. Maybe we'll have better luck in a month or so.

[cherokee woman]

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

QUOTE: Originally posted by cherokee woman

QUOTE: Originally posted by kevinstheRRman

Ahhahahahahaha

I used to eat ants when i was little, and look at me!

Ants are rich in Mercury (HG) you see,

Good for the...uhhh....ummm...[%-)][%-)]

How can we look at you, when we don't know what you look like?? (hint hint: post your picture, Kev.)

Paula [:)]

Do you really want to see Kevin in a polka-dotted string bikini? [:D] [;)] [:)]

Jim, h---fire NO!! But it would be nice to know what his actual face looks like: never know
if we've seen him somewhere before.

After all, we've seen your picture and Mookie's on the forum, plus a couple of other rail
fans. It might be wise to know what we all look like, just in case any of us are profiled
on AMERICA'S MOST WANTED!!!!

[Anonymous]

Thursday's Humor Paper . . . . . . . [8D] [8D]


Alzheimer's Test

Count the "F's" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC
STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

If you want to you can post your "count". Tomorrow I will post the answer and the "why" for it.

I will also post some more Idiot stories. [;)] [}:)] [:p]

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by cherokee woman

QUOTE: Originally posted by kevinstheRRman

Ahhahahahahaha

I used to eat ants when i was little, and look at me!

Ants are rich in Mercury (HG) you see,

Good for the...uhhh....ummm...[%-)][%-)]

How can we look at you, when we don't know what you look like?? (hint hint: post your picture, Kev.)

Paula [:)]

Do you really want to see Kevin in a polka-dotted string bikini? [:D] [;)] [:)]

[cherokee woman]

QUOTE: Originally posted by kevinstheRRman

Ahhahahahahaha

I used to eat ants when i was little, and look at me!

Ants are rich in Mercury (HG) you see,

Good for the...uhhh....ummm...[%-)][%-)]

How can we look at you, when we don't know what you look like?? (hint hint: post your picture, Kev.)

[Anonymous]

LOL LOL LOL

My Antie fed them to me!

[CShaveRR]

If you're loading yourself up with antie-bodies, you should be perfectly healthy!

[Anonymous]

Ahhahahahahaha

I used to eat ants when i was little, and look at me!

Ants are rich in Mercury (HG) you see,

Good for the...uhhh....ummm...[%-)][%-)]

[Anonymous]

Hump Day Helpers . . . . . . . [:p] [:p]


Subject: idiot



Number One Idiot of 2003

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.





Number Two Idiots of 2003

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was honing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.



Number Three Idiot of 2003

A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So
he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.



(Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote.)!!!!!

I will post some more of these Friday, I have something else to post tomorrow. [;)]

[vsmith]

OUCH!

[Kozzie]

Warning to all men!


A moral all men should pay attention to ...

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said
to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."

The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. That whatever you wish
for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"

The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realise that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to." The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me."

So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he
will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine."

So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish,

and she answered,


...wait for it.......





"I'd like a mild heart attack."


[(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D]

Kozzie