Would you believe..... (a little humor)

[Anonymous]

The following "joke" just goes to show you how the greedy bank will go out of their way the screw the common hardworking people of out every frickin penny they can get their greedy paws on. The following is not my story but was copied from an email.


READERS STORY

My Aunt died this past January. Citi Bank billed her
for February and March for their monthly service
charge on her credit card, and then added late fees
and interest on the monthly charge...the balance had
been $0.00... now was somewhere around $60.00)

I placed the following phone call to CitiBank:

Me: "I am calling to tell you that she died in
January."

CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the late
fees and charges still apply."

Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections..."

CitiBank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already
has been."

Me: "So, what will they do when they find out she is
dead?"

CitiBank: "Either report her account to the frauds
division, or report her to the credit bureau...maybe
both!"

Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

CitiBank:"...excuse me .?"

Me: "Did you just get what I was telling you.... the
part about her being dead?"

CitiBank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my
supervisor!"

(Supervisor gets on the phone)

Me: ''I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."

CitiBank: "The account was never closed and the late
fees and charges still apply."

Me: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

CitiBank: ".....(stammer)" .... "Are you her
lawyer?"

Me: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given...
)

CitiBank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Me: "Sure." ( Fax number is given )

( After they get the fax. )

CitiBank: "Our system just isn't setup for death..."

Me: "Oh..."

CitiBank: "I don't know what more I can do to help..."

Me: "Well... if you figure it out, great! If not, you
could just keep billing her...I suppose...don't really
think she will care...."

CitiBank: "Well...the late fees and charges do still
apply."

Me: "'Would you like her new billing address?"

CitiBank: "That might help."

Me: " ( Odessa Memorial Cemetery #### Hwy 129 and plot
number given. )

CitiBank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Me: "What do you do with dead people on your
planet?!!"

[Anonymous]

dHarmon [:p]

I like the marine joke. It is pretty good.

[vsmith]

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

The following "joke" just goes to show you how the greedy bank will go out of their way the screw the common hardworking people of out every frickin penny they can get their greedy paws on. The following is not my story but was copied from an email.


READERS STORY

My Aunt died this past January. Citi Bank billed her
for February and March for their monthly service
charge on her credit card, and then added late fees
and interest on the monthly charge...the balance had
been $0.00... now was somewhere around $60.00)

Oh My God! This is so true...

I've delt with CitiBank and this is the same dense thickheaded mentallity I headbutted with.

I'm convinced their building Robots and hooking them up to thier phone lines. Either that or they've figured out how to use lobotomized psychiatric patients to there own evil means or they're new hires get so much electro-shock if they arent working constantly they just end up lobotomised.

[Mookie]

Well, VSmith and Marty - you Californians didn't disappoint this small midwestern town girl. At least Arnold won't be bothering us back here, trying to run for office. Now that is a big joke!

La Mook

[JoeKoh]

Mookie has a "short" memory.regan was an actor before being govenor of california the President.Hmmmm.(and he played with monkeys)
stay safe
Joe

[Mookie]

QUOTE: Originally posted by JoeKoh

Mookie has a "short" memory.regan was an actor before being govenor of california the President.Hmmmm.(and he played with monkeys)
stay safe
Joe

Joe - Mookie has no comment on the former president - she would have to use his name and she is loath to do that.

Jen

[dharmon]

Let's see in in 24 hrs, we had an earthquake (small one), tossed out the elected governor and replaced him with Ahhnold. And then a black NS unit showed up at the port this morning iin consist with 2 BNSFs and a UP. This has got to be a sign of some sort.

So now if the Cubs and Red Sox end up in the WS, it will be time to look out for that big asteroid that's coming to squash us.

[vsmith]

I'm already digging the fallout shelter.

"That big asteroid".. will be Dah-noold's ego crashing to Earth when he realizes he can't get his special effects crews to make the budget problems vanish in one big CGI explosion...

BTW... GO CUBBIES!!

[Anonymous]

The word "vegetarian" is derived from an old Indian
word meaning "bad hunter!"


Sorry for the lack of humor this day. It all seems to be pointing toward a bad day. First we have another actor who is going to play gov. I sure hope he doesn't want to play pres. We have the topic gone bad, which I know some of you know what I am talking about. It is Wednesday, but it could be worse, it could be Monday. I would ask "What else could go wrong?" but know if I did that I certainly WOULD find out.

In spite of everything bad let's all try to have a good day.

[dharmon]

My wife presented me with a T-shirt with that saying on it after a fruitless weekend of late season duck hunting a couple of years ago.

I don't vote in CA, but living here and watching the spectacle has been entertaining to say the least. I wish Arnold the best, but the political quagmire that is CA will take more than one guy with good intentions to fix. I can't say that Davis was a bad governor, but once the recall frenzy took off, there was really no stopping it.

[Mookie]

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

My wife presented me with a T-shirt with that saying on it after a fruitless weekend of late season duck hunting a couple of years ago.

I don't vote in CA, but living here and watching the spectacle has been entertaining to say the least. I wish Arnold the best, but the political quagmire that is CA will take more than one guy with good intentions to fix. I can't say that Davis was a bad governor, but once the recall frenzy took off, there was really no stopping it.

[;)] no wonder we get along ok - you sound like a middle of the road, Presbyterian like the Mook!

(Don't anyone else read this - I don't want to start a religion war!)

La M

[Anonymous]

After the "MISSOURI" quagmire and the latest "topic gone bad" I don't care to see any war.

[edblysard]

Hi Jim,
What do you mean, it could be worse?
I was on vacation, and had to mark up today.
Called the crew caller, only to find out some one excersised thair seniority and bumped me!
Darn, now I have to hang around the house for two more days before I place my self!
You just gotta love it!
Wonder how the fishing is down at the bay?
Stay Frosty,
Ed[:D]

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

Well, VSmith and Marty - you Californians didn't disappoint this small midwestern town girl. At least Arnold won't be bothering us back here, trying to run for office. Now that is a big joke!

La Mook

Anything will be better than that moron Davis. When I will have to pay $288 a year to register my 1988 suburban and my mother in Oregon pays $42 every 2 yrs. for a 1999 TrailBlazer, there's something wrong with this picture. Also our utility bills allmost doubled because of his tidy little power deals. Arnold will be a badly needed breath of fresh air for this state. Ijust hope he can stick with his plan or else he'll be out in three years [8][^][B)]

[dharmon]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

My wife presented me with a T-shirt with that saying on it after a fruitless weekend of late season duck hunting a couple of years ago.

I don't vote in CA, but living here and watching the spectacle has been entertaining to say the least. I wish Arnold the best, but the political quagmire that is CA will take more than one guy with good intentions to fix. I can't say that Davis was a bad governor, but once the recall frenzy took off, there was really no stopping it.

[;)] no wonder we get along ok - you sound like a middle of the road, Presbyterian like the Mook!

(Don't anyone else read this - I don't want to start a religion war!)

La M

Close. Actually a diet Catholic (Episcopal). All the tradition, half the guilt.

[Mookie]

QUOTE: Originally posted by drailed1999

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

Well, VSmith and Marty - you Californians didn't disappoint this small midwestern town girl. At least Arnold won't be bothering us back here, trying to run for office. Now that is a big joke!

La Mook

Anything will be better than that moron Davis. When I will have to pay $288 a year to register my 1988 suburban and my mother in Oregon pays $42 every 2 yrs. for a 1999 TrailBlazer, there's something wrong with this picture. Also our utility bills allmost doubled because of his tidy little power deals. Arnold will be a badly needed breath of fresh air for this state. Ijust hope he can stick with his plan or else he'll be out in three years [8][^][B)]

He has a plan? We must have missed that here in the Midwest! However, he does have Omaha Nebraska's Warren Buffet as his financial advisor. I will just let that one lay there.

Jen

[vsmith]

QUOTE: Originally posted by drailed1999

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

Well, VSmith and Marty - you Californians didn't disappoint this small midwestern town girl. At least Arnold won't be bothering us back here, trying to run for office. Now that is a big joke!

La Mook

Anything will be better than that moron Davis. When I will have to pay $288 a year to register my 1988 suburban and my mother in Oregon pays $42 every 2 yrs. for a 1999 TrailBlazer, there's something wrong with this picture. Also our utility bills allmost doubled because of his tidy little power deals. Arnold will be a badly needed breath of fresh air for this state. Ijust hope he can stick with his plan or else he'll be out in three years [8][^][B)]

Come on, pay attention to the facts! IT BOTH PARTIES FAULT!

Give me a break, how come every blames the Govenor for the Legislatures fault? Dont like the deficit? who controls the purse strings in Sacramento? Not Davis, but the Legislature. The same group that blindly believed that the Dot.com boom dollars would flow forever. So they spent like mad, both REPS and DEMS. and when the bubble burst, they wouldnt cut a nickle from their own constituients special interest pork funding, thats for BOTH DEMS AND REPS.

I find it funny how we managed to have a budget for 150 years BEFORE the Dot.com debacle and now we cant seem to find anyway to balance the special interest catered budget. The STUPID reps who think that raising taxes is a sin against God, and the STUPID Dems and Reps who wont cut special interesest $$$ out of the budget.

BTW it was PETE WILSON who lead the DEREGULATION agenda that ALLOWED the power companies to screw you and me. Davis had no choice but to make a deal with the Devil regarding power rates.

Isnt it odd how the power crisis suddenly went away AFTER the companies got their fat long term deals? Also it was DAVIS who pushed the investigations that got those SAME companies to give back alot of those rates.

Also what in the hell is Ah-nold going to do, if someone as polically savey as Davis couldnt get the Legislature to move whats a TOTAL NOVICE going to achieve?

His entire campaign platform could be paraphrased as "I'm not going to tell you what I will do but just trust me" Yeah right! And I've got a great used car I'd like to sell you, trust me, it runs great. The fact that he's a real jerk away from his wife has been ignored by the so-called "liberal media" (just how liberal IS Bill O'Reilly and Rupert Murdock?).

I actually heard a woman Ah-nold supporter say in response to the groping charges "well, its not as bad as what Clinton did.." Like grabbing women AGAINST there will IS OK??? Group gang-bangs are OK, but consentual relationships (with a woman who self-admittely threw herself at the President) are EVIL??? Whats with these people??? are they on DOPE?

I am so SICK of this republican double-standard we are being fed, "Do as we say, not as we do". BTW I was a republican at one time but got sickened by the evil minded, backstabing nature under King George the 1st.

How come we didnt have impeachment over Iran-Contra? Crapping on the Constitution and selling weapons to terrorist's using cocaine funded drug money while supporting Dictators death-squads that wipe out whole villages of women and children is OK , great with us and fine and dandy, but getting a BJ in the oval office is the greatest Crime of the Century ? GOD I"M SICK OF THE HYPOCRACY !

All I can say is that Muscle-Boy had better deliver as an Party-Bridger, and not be a Pete Wilson Trojan Horse or there will be Hell to pay...by the people who are getting sick of this crap...

Enough ranting, I feal better now...

[Mookie]

well, gee, what's to argue about that? Congressional Pork Barrel? Sound familiar?
Rep and Dems both to blame? Yes, enough on both sides of aisle to go around. Plus the way I hear it, the legislature in Calif is Democrats. But realistically, what does he bring to the table but money and muscle - only the muscle is what Gray Davis didn't have. Doesn't smell good to me!

Jen

[tree68]

Don't forget to include the voters in that quagmire. The whole referedum thing shares a significant part of the blame for how things are. After all, who wants all the services, but none of the costs!

Here in upstate New York, we just blame the City for our troubles.

[vsmith]

Well yes it is democratic, but just barely. We have a stupid rule that requires a 2/3 majority to pass a budget where most states have a simple Majority (51/49) So as a result passing a budget is usually a fiasco that other states dont suffer.

As for Ah-nold, my fear is that he's just a puppet for former Govenor Pete Wilson, who was VERY devisive with the population and was bad for the state overall.

I hope Ah-nold will find his own voice and avoid being pushed around by those republicans who I am sure see him as nothing more than a prop to pu***heir own agenda. If they truely had principles and strongly held conservative belief's why did they let McClintock get hung out to dry? At least he was honest about his beliefs and stuck to them, unlike a certain part of the Rep party that seams to belief "say ANYTHING to get elected at ANY cost, then ignore your promises once elected" . I just dont get it anymore.

[Anonymous]

Come on now. Don't you realize that Ted Kennedy is probably in his back pocket. We'll see what happens now.

[vsmith]

I hear that Ah-nold is absolutely positively NOT welcome at the Kennedy Compond.

They dont spend Thanksgiving with "The Family" anymore,
Marie and the kids visits sans Ah-nold when they go there.

Just ugly rumors of course but I HAVE to spread them...

[Mookie]

QUOTE: Originally posted by drailed1999

Come on now. Don't you realize that Ted Kennedy is probably in his back pocket. We'll see what happens now.

[:0] That thought wandered through Mookie's attic as well.

[Anonymous]

I have a joke for you....
A man walked into a movie theatre. He saw this movie, didn't care much for most of it. But there's one scene he rather likes. A really beautiful woman with dark hair and almond colored skin is skinny-dipping in a lake. Just as she gets out, an Amtrak train passes by, blocking view, and by the time the train has passed, she was covered in a loose dress.

The man was just thinking about that scene for the rest of the movie. Then he bought a ticket to see it again. And then again. Finally, an usher approached him.
"I've heard of die-hard fans, but never someone who'd see it so many times in a row"
"It's that beautiful girl, I want to see her naked, you know, in that lake scene?"
"But there's the train..."
"It's an Amtrak train, it has to be delayed sometime!"

[Kathi Kube]

Raakone,

Thanks for the joke. I haven't been able to log on for a couple days and wondered what happened to the "little humor" referred to in the subject line. Nice to see it back.

Kathi

[Mookie]

I only read the first paragraph and started laughing - didn't get the point, but the whole scenerio was funny! Then read the rest of it and sure enough - that's where it was going!

And since this is an "I don't know where else to put this" topic - can you believe someone wrote that the Mookie is frivolous!!!!!! As soon as I get over that, I will be indignant....then next week maybe I will be someone else! Maybe Ed - he gets rave reviews, while I get frivolous....no justice in this world...grumble, grumble....and Bergie is mad at us and.....can't even get to a train track until Sat!

Mz Moo

[Anonymous]

Hi Mookie! I'm a newcomer here, but anyways....I like your name. By any chance inspired by a purple-skinned character from some show from the 80's?

My name, if you're curious, supposedly means Raccoon in Samoan....ok, there aren't any raccoons in Samoa, but that's besides the point.

I'm glad you liked my joke!

See ya,
~Ra'akone

[edblysard]

Hi Miz Moo,

Speaking of frivolous,

I just woke up, had a cup of coffee, now I need to shave, bru***he rug, that kinda stuff.
You wouldnt happen to know where wabash left the mirror, do you?
Stay Frosty,
Ed[8D]

[Anonymous]

K K [:)]

Here is your little bit of humor for today.

I don't know about yall but I could use a double dose today.



How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up
over"?

Does that screwdriver belong to Philip?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your
lips?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second
hand?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an
address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and
dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Are part-time bandleaders semi-conductors?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

Daylight savings time - why are they saving it and
where do they keep it?

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

Do pilots take crash-courses?

Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

Do you think that when they asked George Washington
for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? [NOTE: Geo.
Washington's picture is on a quarter]

Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

How can there be self-help "groups"?

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

How many weeks are there in a light year?

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still
hear his Walkman?

If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get
mistletoe?

If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her
friends?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf
people wear earmuffs?

If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet
them?

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter,
then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the
whales look the way they do?

If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make
fog horns out of?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with
sushi?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking
lots?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a
picture of a running child?

Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game, when we
are already there?



__________________________________

[Kathi Kube]

Oh, Jim, thank you so much! Those are seriously funny and I need a double dose today, too.

(As I sit here coughing up a lung and trying to reduce the swelling in my knee[xx(]—I must not have lifted my heel high enough Saturday when I spun around to break my board at my Tae Kwon Do belt test. At least I passed!)

*sigh*

Oh, well. There are certainly far worse things in life, right? The older I get, the more I realize there's precious little in this world truly worth getting our undies in a bundle over.

Keepin' it cool,
Kathi