Alex
Guilford Guy wrote:
Oh, I get it! The "pilot" isn't in the cockpit, it's up front under the coupler!
It takes an iron man to play with a toy iron horse.
Guilford Guy wrote: ... since their isn't very much space to sit on the pilot!
Well, you probably don't remember the good old days of air travel, when the airlines only let attractive young ladies under 120 pounds gross weight be "stewardesses." Since they became "flight attendants," the pilots don't want to be sat on anymore.
Dave
Lackawanna Route of the Phoebe Snow
Here's another one...
Pan Am actually interchanging.
This space reserved for SpaceMouse's future presidential candidacy advertisements
Phoebe Vet wrote:I'm old, I remember when Orvil made us lay on the wings.
Reminds me of an old Ronald Reagan line:
"Thomas Jefferson once said that you should judge a man by his actions, not his age. After he told me that, I stopped worrying."
"I am lapidary but not eristic when I use big words." - William F. Buckley
I haven't been sleeping. I'm afraid I'll dream I'm in a coma and then wake up unconscious. -Stephen Wright
Guilford Guy wrote:Is that the Mafia-esque German engine? I think I've seen pictures. The Swiss placed panto's on top of some 0-6-0's.
Could be just to trip signals on electrified tracks.
Joke from the local MR club; Did you hear about the Ghost train?
It Ghost off the tracks.
Vincent
Wants: 1. high-quality, sound equipped, SD40-2s, C636s, C30-7s, and F-units in BN. As for ones that don't cost an arm and a leg, that's out of the question....
2. An end to the limited-production and other crap that makes models harder to get and more expensive.
Guilford Guy wrote:Pan Am not derailing, Pan Am not derailing, Pan Am going <20Miles in 2 Hours, Pan Am not derailing, Pan Am painting locomotives, Pan Am Painting Bells (The Canadian Widecab Bells came black... They are now gold, purple, red/white stripes, black/white stripes...), oh and Pan Am not derailing!
Yeah...remember when we went railfanning in Ayer, MA... One of the first things we heard on the scanner from Guilford was "Get the big hook" or something to that effect...
Something like this supposedly actually happened during WWII
A passenger in Albuquerque waiting for an eastbound train hears an announcement that the westbound Grand Canyon is now arriving, checks his timetable and watch and is greatly surprised that the train is arriving on time since wartime traffic has increased delays. He walks up to the ticket counter and tells the clerk, "I'm really impressed that Santa Fe manages to run its trains on time despite the problems of dealing with wartime traffic".
The clerk looks at him and says, "Well, you won't be so impressed to find out that that's yesterday's Grand Canyon. It's exactly 24 hours late".
Andre
Here's another one. Hopefully, I've cleaned it up enough to pass muster.
A man and a woman were inadvertantly both assigned to an economy bedroom on AMTRAK's Southwest Chief. Unfortunately, all sleeping space was sold out, so the car attendant said that they'd either have to share or one would have to ride in coach. Despite their embarrassment, they agreed to share the bedroom and the man said he would take the upper. About 1/2 hour later, the man complained that he was cold and could the woman get him an extra blanket.
The woman suggested, "Look, why don't we just pretend we're married?" Naturally, the man was rather pleased with the suggestion and quickly agreed, whereupon the woman said, "Get you own blanket, I'm not your servant", turned over, and fell asleep.
Three minutes later, the man emitted a tremendous blast of intestinal gas after which all was silent.
Just be glad you don't have to press "2" for English.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ_ALEdDUB8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hqFS1GZL4s
http://s73.photobucket.com/user/steemtrayn/media/MovingcoalontheDCM.mp4.html?sort=3&o=27
trainfan1221 wrote: Guilford Guy wrote:Pan Am not derailing, Pan Am not derailing, Pan Am going <20Miles in 2 Hours, Pan Am not derailing, Pan Am painting locomotives, Pan Am Painting Bells (The Canadian Widecab Bells came black... They are now gold, purple, red/white stripes, black/white stripes...), oh and Pan Am not derailing!Listen, you've got to stop being so vague here. Are you implying they have a tendency to derail?
Why yes... They now have an Orange Bell with a jack o lantern painted on one unit, and a baby blue bell with gold stars...
lvanhen wrote:Two drunks are walking along the RR tracks. The first says "These stairs are killing me" The second says" It's not the stairs - it's the low bannister"!!
I don't get it.
Two drunks are walking along the RR tracks. The first says "These stairs are killing me" The second says" It's not the stairs - it's the low bannister"!!
Think about it. If they have to be explained, they're no longer jokes.
A guy drives up to a railroad crossing with one of those really old diamond shaped signs that says, "Railroad Crossing, Look Out For The Cars". Seeing no cars, he starts across the tracks and is hit by on oncoming train.
andrechapelon wrote: Two drunks are walking along the RR tracks. The first says "These stairs are killing me" The second says" It's not the stairs - it's the low bannister"!!I don't get it. Think about it. If they have to be explained, they're no longer jokes.A guy drives up to a railroad crossing with one of those really old diamond shaped signs that says, "Railroad Crossing, Look Out For The Cars". Seeing no cars, he starts across the tracks and is hit by on oncoming train.Andre
I don't get it
Nelson
Ex-Southern 385 Being Hoisted
This might not qualify as a "joke", but it's one of the best real-life railroad stories I've ever heard.
A friend who long ago retired from the Duluth, South Shore & Atlanitc told me this story.
The "South Shore" used to test crews on their adherence to the rules, and one trick was to to put torpedos on the rail and verify that crews would stop, flag, and proceed with caution in accordance with the rules.
One night in the early 1950's, "Pete" was on a run across Michigan's Upper Peninsula near MacMillan. A "South Shore" Train Master and insurance agent were staked out near the line, and they set up the test. The train detonated the torpedos, stopped, and the flagman was sent out. Ahead at the next road crossing, the train crew could see two sets of automobile headlights, and the train crept ahead. As they got to the crossing , they saw that one car belonged to the Train Master, and the other was a Conservation Officer's car. Apparently, the C.O. heard the torpedos and was sure the Train Master and insurance agent were poaching deer and had stashed their rifles somewhere. The three of them approached the train crew, and the C.O. said something to the affect that "I susect these men have been poaching deer, and they say they are from the railroad conducting some kind of test on you guys". The Train Master blustered and said to Pete, "Tell this Officer who I am!!" Pete replied, "I've never seen this man before in my life." The TM really went on a tirade, not only questioning Pete's future railroad employment, but his ascestry as well. The crew finally busted out laughing, and explained to the C.O. what a torpedo was and how it was used.
The TM never tested Pete's crew again.
Mick Enright
Oh, was i saposta laugh?
Sorry, I couldn't restist asking this one.
yes frisco, somefolks find that mighty funny...
sounds like something I would do.
Sunday I called a buddy from the RR club who is supposed to take the photos at my wedding... THIS saturday comming. Just to razz him, I started goin off on him about where the heck was he, and that we had to use disposable cameras and such for the wedding pics. after about a minute I clued him in... we both got a good laugh, AND i still have a photographer...
True Story from the Missouri Pacific... One of the best
There's a town along the Missouri Pacific with 6 grade crossings. One day the crew of the way-freight was working there. The conductor was having drawbar problems while trying to couple. there is an FRA rule where a train cannot block a crossing for more than 5 minutes. After 10 minutes the Sheriff had gotten several complaints so he sent his new Deputy to straighten things out. The Deputy showed up beside the locomotive and demanded the engineer move the train. The engineer radioed the conductor and asked if they were ready. The conductor denied since he was still having trouble with the drawbars. The Deputy ordered the engineer to move the"Goddam' Train." "I have men back there," replied the engineer, at which point the Deputy, infuriated, climbed up onto the loco. The engineer locked the door, and watched amused while the Deputy tried to open it. The Deputy drew his gun, and the engineer, realizing the game was up, unlocked the door. The Deputy cuffed him, and put him in the police car. He locked the engineer up in the jail cell, and walked over to the Sherriff.
"Did you get the train situation figured out" inquired the Sheriff.
"Yup! I got him in the cell right over there!" said the proud Deputy...
"How many of your mother's children lived?" asked the Sheriff.
"Huh?"
"IF THE ENGINEER IS HERE HOW WILL THE TRAIN BE ABLE TO MOVE?!"
The Sheriff walked over to the jail cell.
"Can you move the train yet?"
"Yes I had just got the signal to pull ahead."
The Deputy was ordered to bring the engineer back to the train. Once there, the engineer "thanked" the Deputy, and climbed back into the locomotive. He got back in touch with the conductor, and the train pulled forward, coupled up to the rest of the train and left. Upon arriving back at the Sheriff's office, the Deputy was immediately fired.