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rail jokes

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andrechapelon
  • Member since
    September 2002
  • From: California & Maine
  • 3,848 posts
Posted by andrechapelon on Tuesday, July 29, 2008 12:01 PM

Something like this supposedly actually happened during WWII

A passenger in Albuquerque waiting for an eastbound train hears an announcement that the westbound Grand Canyon is now arriving, checks his timetable and watch and is greatly surprised that the train is arriving on time since wartime traffic has increased delays. He walks up to the ticket counter and tells the clerk, "I'm really impressed that Santa Fe manages to run its trains on time despite the problems of dealing with wartime traffic".

The clerk looks at him and says, "Well, you won't be so impressed to find out that that's yesterday's Grand Canyon. It's exactly 24 hours late". 

Andre

It's really kind of hard to support your local hobby shop when the nearest hobby shop that's worth the name is a 150 mile roundtrip.
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Anonymous
  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 29, 2008 10:03 AM

 Guilford Guy wrote:
Pan Am not derailing, Pan Am not derailing, Pan Am going <20Miles in 2 Hours, Pan Am not derailing, Pan Am painting locomotives, Pan Am Painting Bells (The Canadian Widecab Bells came black... They are now gold, purple, red/white stripes, black/white stripes...), oh and Pan Am not derailing!

Yeah...remember when we went railfanning in Ayer, MA... One of the first things we heard on the scanner from Guilford was "Get the big hook" or something to that effect...Laugh [(-D]

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Packer
  • Member since
    January 2008
  • From: Shalimar. Florida
  • 2,622 posts
Posted by Packer on Tuesday, July 29, 2008 8:12 AM
 Guilford Guy wrote:
Is that the Mafia-esque German engine? I think I've seen pictures. The Swiss placed panto's on top of some 0-6-0's.

Could be just to trip signals on electrified tracks.

Joke from the local MR club; Did you hear about the Ghost train?

It Ghost off the tracks.

Vincent

Wants: 1. high-quality, sound equipped, SD40-2s, C636s, C30-7s, and F-units in BN. As for ones that don't cost an arm and a leg, that's out of the question....

2. An end to the limited-production and other crap that makes models harder to get and more expensive.

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mononguy63
  • Member since
    July 2003
  • From: Indy
  • 997 posts
Posted by mononguy63 on Monday, July 28, 2008 7:15 PM

 Phoebe Vet wrote:
I'm old, I remember when Orvil made us lay on the wings.

Reminds me of an old Ronald Reagan line:

"Thomas Jefferson once said that you should judge a man by his actions, not his age. After he told me that, I stopped worrying."

"I am lapidary but not eristic when I use big words." - William F. Buckley

I haven't been sleeping. I'm afraid I'll dream I'm in a coma and then wake up unconscious.  -Stephen Wright

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Guilford Guy
  • Member since
    July 2006
  • 1,414 posts
Posted by Guilford Guy on Monday, July 28, 2008 5:40 PM
Pan Am not derailing, Pan Am not derailing, Pan Am going <20Miles in 2 Hours, Pan Am not derailing, Pan Am painting locomotives, Pan Am Painting Bells (The Canadian Widecab Bells came black... They are now gold, purple, red/white stripes, black/white stripes...), oh and Pan Am not derailing!

Alex

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GraniteRailroader
  • Member since
    November 2006
  • From: Northeast
  • 746 posts
Posted by GraniteRailroader on Monday, July 28, 2008 5:24 PM

Here's another one...

Pan Am actually interchanging. Whistling [:-^]
 

This space reserved for SpaceMouse's future presidential candidacy advertisements

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Phoebe Vet
  • Member since
    September 2007
  • From: Charlotte, NC
  • 6,099 posts
Posted by Phoebe Vet on Monday, July 28, 2008 3:57 PM
I'm old, I remember when Orvil made us lay on the wings.

Dave

Lackawanna Route of the Phoebe Snow

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MisterBeasley
  • Member since
    December 2004
  • From: Bedford, MA, USA
  • 21,481 posts
Posted by MisterBeasley on Monday, July 28, 2008 3:25 PM

 Guilford Guy wrote:
... since their isn't very much space to sit on the pilot!

Well, you probably don't remember the good old days of air travel, when the airlines only let attractive young ladies under 120 pounds gross weight be "stewardesses."  Since they became "flight attendants," the pilots don't want to be sat on anymore.

It takes an iron man to play with a toy iron horse. 

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Guilford Guy
  • Member since
    July 2006
  • 1,414 posts
Posted by Guilford Guy on Monday, July 28, 2008 2:19 PM
Why of course! And unlike most airplanes, this can fly through snow! the flight crew sits in the cab(in) as opposed to sitting on the pilot seat, since their isn't very much space to sit on the pilot!

Alex

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MisterBeasley
  • Member since
    December 2004
  • From: Bedford, MA, USA
  • 21,481 posts
Posted by MisterBeasley on Monday, July 28, 2008 2:15 PM
 Guilford Guy wrote:

Oh, I get it!  The "pilot" isn't in the cockpit, it's up front under the coupler!

It takes an iron man to play with a toy iron horse. 

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Guilford Guy
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Posted by Guilford Guy on Monday, July 28, 2008 2:03 PM

Alex

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Been Nothing Since Frisco (BNSF)
  • Member since
    July 2008
  • From: missouri
  • 430 posts
Posted by Been Nothing Since Frisco (BNSF) on Monday, July 28, 2008 12:52 PM
how fast lifelike loco's are.
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Been Nothing Since Frisco (BNSF)
  • Member since
    July 2008
  • From: missouri
  • 430 posts
Posted by Been Nothing Since Frisco (BNSF) on Friday, July 25, 2008 8:11 AM
a way to get your steamer that dosen't have a smoke unit in it to smoke. (i haven't tryed this because i can't its just a thought) light a cigret and stick in the smoke stack.Wink [;)] lolCool [8D]
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MisterBeasley
  • Member since
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  • From: Bedford, MA, USA
  • 21,481 posts
Posted by MisterBeasley on Friday, July 25, 2008 6:22 AM
 Lattayards wrote:

4 hours of eastbound train travel from New Orleans would probably put you in Florida.

Or, if you're on Amtrak, about 15 miles east of New Orleans.

It takes an iron man to play with a toy iron horse. 

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Guilford Guy
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    July 2006
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Posted by Guilford Guy on Friday, July 25, 2008 5:08 AM
 tomikawaTT wrote:
 Guilford Guy wrote:
 Been Nothing Since Frisco wrote:

traonfreak, whats with the f unit shell on a northern chasy and wheels?

Haha, Scott's Steasel is a pretty good joke! Its a Steasel-Steam/Diesel...

If you think that model is a good joke, Google Kitson-Still locomotive.  There really was a 1:1 scale steasel!

Chuck (modeling Central Japan in September, 1964)

Is that the Mafia-esque German engine? I think I've seen pictures. The Swiss placed panto's on top of some 0-6-0's.

Alex

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tomikawaTT
  • Member since
    February 2005
  • From: Southwest US
  • 12,914 posts
Posted by tomikawaTT on Friday, July 25, 2008 4:59 AM
 Guilford Guy wrote:
 Been Nothing Since Frisco wrote:

traonfreak, whats with the f unit shell on a northern chasy and wheels?

Haha, Scott's Steasel is a pretty good joke! Its a Steasel-Steam/Diesel...

If you think that model is a good joke, Google Kitson-Still locomotive.  There really was a 1:1 scale steasel!

Chuck (modeling Central Japan in September, 1964)

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tomikawaTT
  • Member since
    February 2005
  • From: Southwest US
  • 12,914 posts
Posted by tomikawaTT on Friday, July 25, 2008 4:56 AM
 HEdward wrote:
 Lattayards wrote:

4 hours of eastbound train travel from New Orleans would probably put you in Florida.

Kind of reminds me of the problem I give my Algebra students: a train leaves NYC heading west at 50 mph and an hour later a train leaves Chicago heading east on a parallel track at 40 mph. If it's 800 miles between NYC and Chicago, how far apart are the trains when they meet?

Don't work too hard on this one, remember the subject of this post.

It's a trick question.  One is on the NYCs water level route and the other is running on the Pennsy mainline! 

Assuming that they are either both NYC or both PRR, about 14 feet at closest approach.

Chuck (modeling Central Japan in September, 1964)

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Guilford Guy
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Posted by Guilford Guy on Thursday, July 24, 2008 9:38 PM
Not even the name, just thinking about the railroad makes me laugh!

Alex

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trainfan1221
  • Member since
    July 2003
  • From: Elmwood Park, NJ
  • 2,385 posts
Posted by trainfan1221 on Thursday, July 24, 2008 7:30 PM
What's so funny.. Guilford giving itself a stupid and meaninless name and then taking the symbol of a defunct airline?  Yeah.. I guess you have a point.
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Guilford Guy
  • Member since
    July 2006
  • 1,414 posts
Posted by Guilford Guy on Thursday, July 24, 2008 6:11 PM
 GraniteRailroader wrote:

Hey GG - Your name reminded me of the biggest railroad "joke"...

 

PAN AM.

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha...

Alex

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GraniteRailroader
  • Member since
    November 2006
  • From: Northeast
  • 746 posts
Posted by GraniteRailroader on Thursday, July 24, 2008 6:09 PM

Hey GG - Your name reminded me of the biggest railroad "joke"...

 

PAN AM.

This space reserved for SpaceMouse's future presidential candidacy advertisements

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Guilford Guy
  • Member since
    July 2006
  • 1,414 posts
Posted by Guilford Guy on Thursday, July 24, 2008 5:35 PM
 Been Nothing Since Frisco wrote:

traonfreak, whats with the f unit shell on a northern chasy and wheels?

Haha, Scott's Steasel is a pretty good joke! Its a Steasel-Steam/Diesel...

Alex

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Been Nothing Since Frisco (BNSF)
  • Member since
    July 2008
  • From: missouri
  • 430 posts
Posted by Been Nothing Since Frisco (BNSF) on Thursday, July 24, 2008 5:32 PM

traonfreak, whats with the f unit shell on a northern chasy and wheels?

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Phoebe Vet
  • Member since
    September 2007
  • From: Charlotte, NC
  • 6,099 posts
Posted by Phoebe Vet on Monday, July 21, 2008 11:41 AM
 vsmith wrote:
user="Been Nothing Since Frisco (BNSF)"]
 dale8chevyss wrote:
 Guilford Guy wrote:

I'm going to catch hell for this...

Why are there no Baby Amtraks?

Because they pullout of the station on time... Whistling [:-^]

 

That one IS bad.  ;)

i dont get itSigh [sigh]

I've never been on an Amtrak train that "pulled out" on time  Wink [;)]

We have two Amtrak trains that originate here in Charlotte.

They pretty much always pull out on time.

... now ARRIVING on time is a different story.

Dave

Lackawanna Route of the Phoebe Snow

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TrainFreak409
  • Member since
    December 2003
  • From: Dallas, GA
  • 2,643 posts
Posted by TrainFreak409 on Monday, July 21, 2008 11:25 AM
 Lattayards wrote:

Kind of reminds me of the problem I give my Algebra students: a train leaves NYC heading west at 50 mph and an hour later a train leaves Chicago heading east on a parallel track at 40 mph. If it's 800 miles between NYC and Chicago, how far apart are the trains when they meet?

Don't work too hard on this one, remember the subject of this post.

Depends on the spacing between the parallel tracks. Smile,Wink, & Grin [swg]

Scott - Dispatcher, Norfolk Southern

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vsmith
  • Member since
    December 2001
  • From: Smoggy L.A.
  • 10,743 posts
Posted by vsmith on Sunday, July 20, 2008 7:19 PM
user="Been Nothing Since Frisco (BNSF)"]
 dale8chevyss wrote:
 Guilford Guy wrote:

I'm going to catch hell for this...

Why are there no Baby Amtraks?

Because they pullout of the station on time... Whistling [:-^]

 

That one IS bad.  ;)

i dont get itSigh [sigh]

I've never been on an Amtrak train that "pulled out" on time  Wink [;)]

   Have fun with your trains

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HEdward
  • Member since
    August 2002
  • From: Womelsdorf
  • 756 posts
Posted by HEdward on Sunday, July 20, 2008 5:45 PM
 Lattayards wrote:

4 hours of eastbound train travel from New Orleans would probably put you in Florida.

Kind of reminds me of the problem I give my Algebra students: a train leaves NYC heading west at 50 mph and an hour later a train leaves Chicago heading east on a parallel track at 40 mph. If it's 800 miles between NYC and Chicago, how far apart are the trains when they meet?

Don't work too hard on this one, remember the subject of this post.

It's a trick question.  One is on the NYCs water level route and the other is running on the Pennsy mainline! 

Proud to be DD-2itized! 1:1 scale is too unrealistic. Twins are twice as nice!
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HEdward
  • Member since
    August 2002
  • From: Womelsdorf
  • 756 posts
Posted by HEdward on Sunday, July 20, 2008 5:37 PM
 Guilford Guy wrote:

I'm going to catch hell for this...

Why are there no Baby Amtraks?

Because they pullout of the station on time... Whistling [:-^]

..or maybe they never make it into the station on time?

Proud to be DD-2itized! 1:1 scale is too unrealistic. Twins are twice as nice!
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jeffrey-wimberly
  • Member since
    June 2004
  • From: Orig: Tyler Texas. Lived in seven countries, now live in Sundown, Louisiana
  • 25,640 posts
Posted by jeffrey-wimberly on Sunday, July 20, 2008 3:31 PM
 Been Nothing Since Frisco - BNSF wrote:

Q. why are union pacificslocos painted  yellow?   

A. because there inishals are U P 

Now that's funny!Laugh [(-D]

Running Bear, Sundown, Louisiana
          Joined June, 2004

Dr. Frankendiesel aka Scott Running Bear
Space Mouse for president!
15 year veteran fire fighter
Collector of Apple //e's
Running Bear Enterprises
History Channel Club life member.
beatus homo qui invenit sapientiam


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Been Nothing Since Frisco (BNSF)
  • Member since
    July 2008
  • From: missouri
  • 430 posts
Posted by Been Nothing Since Frisco (BNSF) on Sunday, July 20, 2008 3:23 PM
there was a blind and a red head driveing a train, the red was the enginer and the blond was the condutor, train got stuck by lightning and the blond got shocked and the red didnt and so the bland asked why didn't you get shoked? the red siad because im not a conductor.
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