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Would you believe..... (a little humor) Locked

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Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 1:35 AM
Time for the . . . . . Hump Day Helpers edition of the Humor Thread Paper. [:o)] [8D]


I don't know who to credit for the following poem. I ran across it at work.




The Lost Dr. Seuss Poem


I LOVE MY JOB


I love my job, I love the pay!
I love it more and more every day.
I love my boss, he is the best!
I love his boss and all the rest.

I love my office and its location. I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and gray, and piles of paper that grow each day!
I think my job is really swell, there's nothing else I love so well.
I love to work amoung my peers, I love their leers, and jeers, and sneers.
I love my computer and its software;
I hug it often though it won't care. I love each program and every file.
I'd love them more if they worked a while.

I'm happy to be here, I am. I am.
I'm the happiest slave of the Firm, I am.
I love this work, I love these chores.
I love the meetings with deadly bores.
I love my job--I'll say it again--I even love those friendly men.
Those friendly men who've come today.
In clean white coats to take me away.





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Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 3:19 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

This link is not for the faint of heart. [}:)]

I include it because it is very different than what we would do here.

Here we pay to get rid of these, THERE they feed them. I won't tell you what I did with the last one I found outside. [:p]


http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/dailypic.php3


This is not much of a joke of the day tho.


[sigh] Please, please, be so kind & tell me what was the joke of the day that day, by clicking at the link I only get today's pic and joke.

Thanks,
Oliver
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Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 9:11 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

After downing a couple of cat pills.. I took a look at the current topics on the first page of the forum and here's what I come up with........

Nuclear powered locomotives? My vacation, to mars by rail
Hello To Everyone! FREE BEER AND PIZZA!
Mark W Hemphill's last paragraph... strange happenings in the southwest
propane tanks on the side of the tracks, Why didn't they just melt the snow?






Thats jsut like that picture with the three movies ontop of each other

ERIN BROKOVITCH
SCREWED
MY DOG SKIP
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Posted by zardoz on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 9:31 AM
Very observant Kevin! I missed that.
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Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 10:31 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by Oliver Trzok

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

This link is not for the faint of heart. [}:)]

I include it because it is very different than what we would do here.

Here we pay to get rid of these, THERE they feed them. I won't tell you what I did with the last one I found outside. [:p]


http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/dailypic.php3


This is not much of a joke of the day tho.


[sigh] Please, please, be so kind & tell me what was the joke of the day that day, by clicking at the link I only get today's pic and joke.

Thanks,
Oliver



The picture changes every day. The pic from this one day was from India. It showed an elderly lady pouring milk into a large but shallow bowl on the floor. There were many mice/rats drinking from the bowl and were not brother by her being there.

The pic the next day was a small child (in Thailand I think) setting in a large tube bathing. He was accompanied by a Boa that was many, many times his size. The child held the snake's head in the tube with him and was "washing" the head of the snake. I try to post the link for this pic but was unable to. It always went back to the pic of the mice/rats.

There is probally a way to check on past pics. Just go to the site and investigate.

They show some strange pics.
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Posted by techguy57 on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 5:03 PM
For our friend Alex from Alaska[:p]:

Tom had been in business for 25 years and was finally sick of the stress. He quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month; otherwise it was total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocked on his door. He opened it and there stood a huge, bearded man.
"Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road... Having a party Friday night... Thought you might like to come...About 5:00..." "Great," said Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

As Lars was leaving, he stopped and said, "Gotta warn ya...There's gonna be some drinkin'." "Not a problem," said Tom. "after 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of em."

Again, as he started to leave, Lars stopped and said, "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too! ." Tom said, "Well, I get along with people, I'll be alright. I'll be there. Thanks again."

Once again Lars turned from the door, saying "More'n likely be some wild sex, too."
"Now that's really not a problem," said Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"

Lars stopped in the door again and said,"Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us."


Sorry Alex but if I'd said Canada instead of Alaska the Canadians would've rioted. I'm sure you understand. After all it is the humor thread. If you have any Indiana jokes you can di***hem out at me!

Mike
techguy "Beware the lollipop of mediocrity. Lick it once and you suck forever." - Anonymous
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Posted by vsmith on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 5:17 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by techguy57

For our friend from Alaska[:p]:

Tom had been in business for 25 years and was finally sick of the stress. He quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month; otherwise it was total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocked on his door. He opened it and there stood a huge, bearded man.
"Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road... Having a party Friday night... Thought you might like to come...About 5:00..." "Great," said Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

As Lars was leaving, he stopped and said, "Gotta warn ya...There's gonna be some drinkin'." "Not a problem," said Tom. "after 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of em."

Again, as he started to leave, Lars stopped and said, "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too! ." Tom said, "Well, I get along with people, I'll be alright. I'll be there. Thanks again."

Once again Lars turned from the door, saying "More'n likely be some wild sex, too."
"Now that's really not a problem," said Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"

Lars stopped in the door again and said,"Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us."

Mike



Oooooooh! Yeeeooow! That one stings!!

gotta add this one to my collection...

   Have fun with your trains

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Posted by vsmith on Wednesday, January 7, 2004 5:23 PM
Subject: work VS prison



IN PRISON
You spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.

AT WORK
You spend most of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON
You get three meals a day (free).

AT WORK
You only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it
yourself.

IN PRISON
You get time off for good behavior.

AT WORK
You get rewarded for good behavior with more WORK.

IN PRISON
A guard locks and unlocks the doors for you.

AT WORK
You must carry around a security card and unlock open all the doors
yourself.

IN PRISON
You can watch TV and play games.

AT WORK
You get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON
You get your own toilet.

AT WORK
You have to share.

IN PRISON
They allow your family and friends to visit.

AT WORK
You can not even speak to your family and friends.

IN PRISON
All expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work at all.

AT WORK
You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct
taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

IN PRISON
You spend most of your life looking through the bars from the inside
wanting to get out.

AT WORK
You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

Humm?
Which Sounds Better?

   Have fun with your trains

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Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, January 8, 2004 1:20 AM
Here is the next edition of . . . . The Humor Thread Paper . . . . [:p]


Another link for Mookie and Willy2 (beer-NO, pizza-ok) [;)]


http://www.flowgo.com/funpages/view.cfm/636


Enjoy [8D]
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Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, January 8, 2004 5:52 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

QUOTE: Originally posted by Oliver Trzok

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

This link is not for the faint of heart. [}:)]

I include it because it is very different than what we would do here.

Here we pay to get rid of these, THERE they feed them. I won't tell you what I did with the last one I found outside. [:p]


http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/dailypic.php3


This is not much of a joke of the day tho.


[sigh] Please, please, be so kind & tell me what was the joke of the day that day, by clicking at the link I only get today's pic and joke.

Thanks,
Oliver



The picture changes every day. The pic from this one day was from India. It showed an elderly lady pouring milk into a large but shallow bowl on the floor. There were many mice/rats drinking from the bowl and were not brother by her being there.

The pic the next day was a small child (in Thailand I think) setting in a large tube bathing. He was accompanied by a Boa that was many, many times his size. The child held the snake's head in the tube with him and was "washing" the head of the snake. I try to post the link for this pic but was unable to. It always went back to the pic of the mice/rats.

There is probally a way to check on past pics. Just go to the site and investigate.

They show some strange pics.


Thanks, Jim! Your comments made me wonder, I just had to know who's feeding who and who's getting rid of what. Now I think I've seen something very similar, it was a temple where they sort of worship rats [:O]. Holy rat!
And about putting a baby in a tub together with a big Boa - [X-)].

I forgot to tell yesterday that the joke (not the picture) of the day was railroad-related, about railroad track gauge (I think that it was actually the joke of the day before yesterday because later during the day it was changed, and there's 6-8 hours' time difference between Croatia and the U.S.). If you don't figure out the way to get to it, let me know, I try to tell it to you in my words [:I]

Thanks again!
Oliver.
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Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, January 8, 2004 8:52 AM
awwww there so Cute

I could use some brownie points, So i'm goinna send them to you-know-who..
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Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, January 8, 2004 9:29 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by kevinstheRRman

awwww there so Cute

I could use some brownie points, So i'm goinna send them to you-know-who..



KevMacMan [;)]

You send that rat pic to ME and you might as well pull the couch outta the corner and into the doghouse. Now think about it. Valentine's Day is just around the corner. Do you really want to send her the rat pic now. [}:)]

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Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, January 8, 2004 9:34 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by Oliver Trzok

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

QUOTE: Originally posted by Oliver Trzok

QUOTE: Originally posted by jhhtrainsplanes

This link is not for the faint of heart. [}:)]

I include it because it is very different than what we would do here.

Here we pay to get rid of these, THERE they feed them. I won't tell you what I did with the last one I found outside. [:p]


http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/dailypic.php3


This is not much of a joke of the day tho.


[sigh] Please, please, be so kind & tell me what was the joke of the day that day, by clicking at the link I only get today's pic and joke.

Thanks,
Oliver



The picture changes every day. The pic from this one day was from India. It showed an elderly lady pouring milk into a large but shallow bowl on the floor. There were many mice/rats drinking from the bowl and were not brother by her being there.

The pic the next day was a small child (in Thailand I think) setting in a large tube bathing. He was accompanied by a Boa that was many, many times his size. The child held the snake's head in the tube with him and was "washing" the head of the snake. I try to post the link for this pic but was unable to. It always went back to the pic of the mice/rats.

There is probally a way to check on past pics. Just go to the site and investigate.

They show some strange pics.


Thanks, Jim! Your comments made me wonder, I just had to know who's feeding who and who's getting rid of what. Now I think I've seen something very similar, it was a temple where they sort of worship rats [:O]. Holy rat!
And about putting a baby in a tub together with a big Boa - [X-)].

I forgot to tell yesterday that the joke (not the picture) of the day was railroad-related, about railroad track gauge (I think that it was actually the joke of the day before yesterday because later during the day it was changed, and there's 6-8 hours' time difference between Croatia and the U.S.). If you don't figure out the way to get to it, let me know, I try to tell it to you in my words [:I]

Thanks again!
Oliver.



Yes, I saw the track guage article. It has been talked about here in the forums probally more than once. I also didn't want to copy and paste the article. I try to stay away from doing that in a copywrited article.
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Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, January 8, 2004 9:37 AM
Some more goodies for the Thursday edition of our paper [8D] [:p]



NASA Ingenuity

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they
quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work
in zero gravity.

To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade
and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero
gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any
surface including glass and at temperatures ranging
from below freezing to 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.

******************************************************
Intelligence

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day.

One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole
digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in
the shade of a tree?"

"I don't know," responded the other. "I will ask him."

So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss.

"Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're standing
in the shade?"

"Intelligence," the boss said. "What do you mean,
'intelligence'?"

The boss said, "Well, I will show you. I will put my
hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your
fist as hard as you can."

The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit
the boss's hand.

The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the
tree.

The boss said, "That is intelligence!"

The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend
asked, "What did he say?" "He said we are down here
because of intelligence."

"What is intelligence?" said the friend.

The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said,

"Take your shovel and hit my hand."


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Posted by ironhorseman on Thursday, January 8, 2004 2:15 PM
[:(]I fail to see the humor in this...[V]

The following is an attempt to bring the truth out of what prison life is really all about. It's not all fun and games. It's a day to day struggle of threats and intimidation from other inmates, drug addiction, homosexuality, rape, and death tugging day to day at the prisoner's shoulder. [xx(]

QUOTE: Originally posted by vsmith

Subject: work VS prison

IN PRISON
You spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.

AT WORK
You spend most of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON
You can't leave your cell without permission. You might even share a cell with 2 or 3 other inmates. You may or may not have a window. Any windows are 3 inches wide, 3 feet tall.

AT WORK
You can leave your cubicle, go to the bathroom in a private stall, eat lunch in a break room or restaurant, walk around, go to meetings, look out picture windows, etc.
QUOTE:
IN PRISON
You get three meals a day (free).

AT WORK
You only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it
yourself.

IN PRISON
You don't get a choice in what you eat and you eat when you are told and what you eat is usually [censored]

AT WORK
Yeah, but you can choose where you go to lunch, sometimes when you go, and what you eat.
QUOTE:
IN PRISON
You get time off for good behavior.

AT WORK
You get rewarded for good behavior with more WORK.

In prison it takes years and years and years and year, (and did I mention years?) to get time off for good behavior. If fact that's not always the case. New laws are doing away with time off for good behavior. Judges are handing out stiffer sentences based on politicians laws based on public demand that prisoners serve their full terms.

AT WORK
You get more work because that's where you choose to work. Work makes the world go round. Instead of an office job perhaps you'd rather work at a gas station?
QUOTE:
IN PRISON
A guard locks and unlocks the doors for you.

AT WORK
You must carry around a security card and unlock open all the doors
yourself.

IN PRISON
Exactly right. You don't get a choice when that guard unlocks that door for you. You may have to wait 23 hours before you get to leave the cell.

AT WORK
This is for your protection, from those criminals we lock up everyday. One day at my mother's work place some guy running from the police hid in the building and some people walked by this man who was crouching in a stairwell panting heavily. If this guy had a weapon, or even if he didn't, he could have harmed someone. Also, women going to work at this place have been robbed by purse snatchers who end up knocking them down.
QUOTE:
IN PRISON
You can watch TV and play games.

AT WORK
You get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON
You can watch TV and play games WHEN THE GUARDS SAY YOU CAN! Sure, you've got a choice in prison: the choice to do or not to do something. Usually prisoners don't WATCH TV they have to LISTEN to TV. The guards give them headphones and decide for them what program they'll listen to.
QUOTE:
IN PRISON
You get your own toilet.

AT WORK
You have to share.

IN PRISON
You get your own toilet IF YOU HAVE YOUR OWN CELL. Usually cells are shared. The toilet doesn't have a seat. It's stainless steel (cold stainless steel). It's unsanitary. If clogs often (because the prisoner usually sabotages it and when he's not sabotages it it's because of bad plumbing). You only get limited amount of toilet paper.

AT WORK
There is more than restroom with more than one toilet with plenty of toilet paper and the restroom is regularly cleaned by custodians. There are no custodians in prison. Prisoners ARE the custodians.

I've never seen a more false statement than the one below:
QUOTE:
IN PRISON
They allow your family and friends to visit.

AT WORK
You can not even speak to your family and friends.

IN PRISON
You visit family though a glass wall and talk over a telephone. The number of visitors are limited. The frequency of visits is also limited. Something like once or twice a year in some places

AT WORK
Ever hear of bring your son/daughter to work day? I stopped by all the time at my mother's place of work and her boss didn't have any problem with that.

QUOTE:
IN PRISON
All expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work at all.

AT WORK
You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct
taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

Thank the politicians for this one. But they'll claim you, the taxpayer, wanted these prisons. It was public demand. Get tough on crime, etc.
QUOTE:
IN PRISON
You spend most of your life looking through the bars from the inside
wanting to get out.

AT WORK
You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

Don't need to add to this one.

QUOTE:
Humm?
Which Sounds Better?


I know that last question is supposed to be rhetorical question but I'll answer that one: WORK

Don't forget to mention everyone that goes in prison is likely to get raped within the first few days, maybe even killed. Drug abuse is rampart. Sexual abuse is rampart. Murder and suicide is high. You have to belong to a gang survive. You could get AIDS and STDs and hepatitis in prison. You are confined to a cell which is torture on the human psyche. The safest prisons are the Super Max prisons. There, prisoners are completely isolated from other prisoners and they gradual work their way out of isolation and regain human contact and privileges. However, if you find yourself in a Super Max you must be a violent, uncontrollable offender sent there from another prison.

Prison messes with the mind and body. We send people there for 40-50 year stretches and they end up more messed up than before they went. And that's not to mention the thousands of people who are innocent of their crimes who are still in prison. And the unknown number of innocents on death row. Thank the politicians for the current state our prisons are in and they'll thank us, the taxpayers, the voters, the citizens, who demanded it be this way.

Everyone passes the buck and no one takes responsibility.

I believe it was Johnny Cash who said:
"I wear [black] for the Prisoner who has long paid for his crime/
But is there because he's victim of the time"

How true...

Think about the reality of prison before any of you go comparing your lives to prison life. The Discovery Channel, A&E, Court TV, and the History Channel all run excellent programs on what prison is really like. Shocking and horrible, that's all I can say.

P.S.--> I almost forgot to say: You can quit your job, but you can't quit prison.

yad sdrawkcab s'ti

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Posted by Mookie on Thursday, January 8, 2004 3:20 PM
I am probably going to ruffle your feathers with this - but I seriously believe that if you do the crime, you do the time. No one seriously believes prison is a picnic, but some people fail to think of that when they break the law. They don't put you in prisons for doing your job and keeping yourself out of trouble. I don't have a problem with any of the severity of the items you posted above. And it obviously isn't horrible enough, because so many people repeat.

Jen

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Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, January 8, 2004 5:06 PM
<---------------------the big 8-0-0
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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 9, 2004 1:57 AM
Time for the . . . . . Finally Friday edition of the paper. [8D] [:o)] [8)] [:o)] [:p]


Since I was kinda harsh on Willy2 this week I dedicate this joke to him. [:D] [;)]



Rabbit Anyone


How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it.



My mother told me this joke eons ago. She came home from work and though it was just the cutest joke. It might also show her age (and mine) if you remember the commercials.


What do dinosaurs eat?
Things.
What do dinosaurs drink?
Coke.
Why do dinosaurs drink Coke?
Because things go better with Coke.



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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 9, 2004 4:57 AM
A man joined a big multinational company as a trainee. On his first day, he dialled the pantry and shouted into the phone: "Get me a f#*king cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded: "You fool, you've dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No," replied the trainee.
"It's the Managing Director of the company, idiot!"
The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who you are talking to, you idiot?"
"No!" replied the Managing Director indignantly.
"Good!" replied the trainee and put down the phone.


Actual Instruction Labels:

- ON PACKAGING FOR A "ROWENTA" IRON:
Do not iron clothes on body.

- ON "BOOTS" CHILDRENS' COUGH MEDICINE:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

- ON A HAIR DRYER:
Do not use while sleeping.

- ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

- ON A BAR OF "DIAL" SOAP:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

- ON A FROZEN DINNER:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

- ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP:
Fits one head.

- ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESSERT:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

- ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

- ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:
Not to be used for the other use.

- ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

- ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:
Product will be hot after heating.

- ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):
Warning: may cause drowsiness.

- ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:
Warning: keep out of children.

- ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

- ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS:
Warning: contains nuts.

(Xcuse the language)

Have a nice weekend everyone!
Oliver
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Posted by Mookie on Friday, January 9, 2004 6:25 AM
Kevin! Happy 800! You should really say something in French - something romantic for the ladies on the forum and at the same time, something that pertains to trains!

And you do look so good in all those GREEN stars!!!!!!!

Oliver - how is your weather? Can you tell I have the January Blahs - some snow, some cold and some cloudy.....

Mookie

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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 9, 2004 7:58 AM
Hi, Mookie!

It's raining in Zagreb today, perfect for an afternoon nap. Luckily the temperature is slightly above zero (that's zero Centigrade or Celsius - the freezing point, I still have to learn to convert to Fahrenheit), but I expect it to freeze in the evening, and that'll be "fun".
It has been frosty these days, but no snow.
As for the January Blahs - what I can tell for sure is that no snow nor cold nor clouds can stand in the way of your sharp, yet warm and friendly wit!

(I'm getting very close to my first star!)

Oliver
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Posted by zardoz on Friday, January 9, 2004 9:01 AM
Oliver:


To change temperature given in Fahrenheit (F) to Celsius (C)
Start with (F); subtract 32; multiply by 5; divide by 9; the answer is (C)

To change temperature given in Celsius (C) to Fahrenheit (F)
Start with (C); multiply by 9; divide by 5; add on 32; the answer is (F)

Happy calculating!

p.s.
0c=32f
100c=212f
-40c=-40f
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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 9, 2004 10:34 AM
I have to Write this somewhere... I've taken up writing Editorials. This one of mine appeared in the local paper, and I will try to type it up the best I can to recreate it, Its humor based on seriousness.

Perfect for this thread, and it has absolutely nothing to do with Trains, so If your the kind of person who believes everything on this site must pertain to Trains, close your eyes, block your hears and start saying LA la la la la
*****************************************

The difference between a Socially Acceptable magazine, and a not Socially acceptable magazine.

Overated: Playboy.

I was in a Store, not that many weeks ago, When the person in front of me was about to purchase a Playboy. He looked about 18 or 19, My best guess he didn't have a Girlfriend. I already had time to discuss in my head what would happen if i were to do the same, Death by decapitation, .. An eternity in the dog house.. And i mena, i would never be on ym way out. So i had time to chuckel at my thoughts, and roll my eyes, when apparently, my first guess couldn't have been more wrong. Here comes his Girlfriend cutting in front of everyone, unstoppable like a runnaway freight train, Well I saw the look in this guys eyes, he had th4e same look a cow does when it looks at an oncomming train. I was already internally laughing my head off, trying to keep my outside as poker face as humanly possible. Sure they argued and squabled, he didn't buy the magaizne, and they took the argument outside, I could almsot see myself yelling, Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! I paid for my two literes of orange Juice, and walked past them outside, they were pointing fingers, and swearing and carrying on.. I couldn't help but laugh, all this porblems, over a magazine? don't get me wrong, this magazine was going to have a serious imapc on their relationship, The argument that was happening now was jsut the tip od the ice berg, and their future Realtionship was probobly going to be the very shacky, and she probobly was never going to ever trust him again.

ALL that foir a magazine, seems hardly worth it to me.

But there is a flip side of the Coin.

Under rated: FHM.

For those fo yuo who aren't au-courrant with various magazines, there are YM for girs, that subliminaly spells out 6-6-6 on the cover, except males can't see it. For the male side there is a magaizene called FHM. The best thing about thsi magazine is that it is Parent, or Even Girlfriend approved, unless shes living back in the Wendell McFall days, (civil war time). The good thing about this magazine, is that it doesn't only picture women in small outfits, (its worse just about on every singlepublic beach, or Hooters) it has Gadgets and how to build things. I built my own Radio using a quaker oatmeal box, And i also from that magazine found out that Wal-mart had the best price for the digital Camera I bought. I saved 20 bucks, As i wa soriginally going to buy it at target. I'm a cheap person, so 20 bucks means a lot to me.
Best off, its rated G by the magazine corporation and listed under "Family magazines" and even if an offencive photo is taken Anyhting offensive is airbrushed out.
Soo anyone who purchases FHM can easily say, this time I REALLY did purchase it for its literary value.
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Posted by Mookie on Friday, January 9, 2004 11:20 AM
You know Kevin - everytime I see the name Playboy - I have to remember when I was much younger and married to my 1st husband. He subscribed to Playboy. And there were two "trains" of thought on this. First was that I had enough self-confidence that it didn't bother me - I thought it was kind of silly, but to each his own. I also thought that ladies that fuss over a photograph in a magazine that is sold in public aren't being terribly realistic. I would worry more over the breathing kind. Anyway - I read his Playboy from cover to cover. I read some of the most well-written articles on a lot of different subjects. They weren't so dry I couldn't get through them without taking a nap and yet weren't so frivolous that they insulted my intelligence.

So people laugh when you say you read Playboy for the articles, but believe me - I did.

Mook

She who has no signature! cinscocom-tmw

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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, January 9, 2004 11:28 AM
True, but I am firm Believer Deep down, That it will eventually cause relationship problems, maybe not immediate, but it makes a solid base and perhaps in the actual Relationship problem itself, won't be so present, but it just adds up like a glass bottle pyramid, until it all falls.. which bottles were the playboy magazine.. there all the same colour bottles, in the ned, it won';t be so much the individual problems that cause a relationship to crumble, it'll be one giant one.

A agree with you, and wrote, 3D woemn shouldn't be so worried about 2D women. But some girls don't like it, My girlfriend is a right winged conservative person. She doens't like things like that

besides, with FHM, your more likely to get your GF to try and top the pictures that she sees in that magazine!
  • Member since
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Posted by CShaveRR on Friday, January 9, 2004 11:28 AM
Yes, I remember that old slogan about things going better with Coke.

Another old joke, based on another old Coke slogan:

Q. What did the elephant say when it sat on a Coke bottle?
A. Zing! What a feeling!

Carl

Railroader Emeritus (practiced railroading for 46 years--and in 2010 I finally got it right!)

CAACSCOCOM--I don't want to behave improperly, so I just won't behave at all. (SM)

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Posted by Mookie on Friday, January 9, 2004 11:41 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by kevinstheRRman

True, but I am firm Believer Deep down, That it will eventually cause relationship problems, maybe not immediate, but it makes a solid base and perhaps in the actual Relationship problem itself, won't be so present, but it just adds up like a glass bottle pyramid, until it all falls.. which bottles were the playboy magazine.. there all the same colour bottles, in the ned, it won';t be so much the individual problems that cause a relationship to crumble, it'll be one giant one.

A agree with you, and wrote, 3D woemn shouldn't be so worried about 2D women. But some girls don't like it, My girlfriend is a right winged conservative person. She doens't like things like that

besides, with FHM, your more likely to get your GF to try and top the pictures that she sees in that magazine!
You may be on to something - we divorced after 11 years. (the Playboy Magazine) The FHM - I will pass on, since I don't have a clue.

Mook

She who has no signature! cinscocom-tmw

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Posted by Mookie on Friday, January 9, 2004 11:42 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by CShaveRR

Yes, I remember that old slogan about things going better with Coke.

Another old joke, based on another old Coke slogan:

Q. What did the elephant say when it sat on a Coke bottle?
A. Zing! What a feeling!
Carl - go stand in the corner with Dan! [:(]

She who has no signature! cinscocom-tmw

  • Member since
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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, January 10, 2004 1:00 AM
QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

QUOTE: Originally posted by CShaveRR

Yes, I remember that old slogan about things going better with Coke.

Another old joke, based on another old Coke slogan:

Q. What did the elephant say when it sat on a Coke bottle?
A. Zing! What a feeling!
Carl - go stand in the corner with Dan! [:(]



And here I though I was the only one sending people to the corner. [:p]

So "why" is Dan in the corner? What did I miss?

You know, I am not sure if Kev's couch is in the corner OR the doghouse. Could be either, depending on IF he sent the rat pic to ME. If he did, he might be there a while. But anyway, most couchs can seat at least 3 or 4 people (depending on how skinny they are). So I am sure Kev has room on the couch for some company.

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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, January 10, 2004 8:26 AM
The next edition of . . . . . Saturday's Silly Season . . . yeaaaaaaaaaa [8D]


Computer Virus Types...

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of
your Apple.

Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in
Singapore.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays
resident. It'll be back.

AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what
great service you are getting.

The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that
you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen
splits erratically with a message appearing on each
half blaming the other side for the problem.

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy
and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping
malls and service stations across rural America.

Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into
hundreds of little units, each of which do practically
nothing, but all of which claim to be the most
important part of the computer.

Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with
marrying its own motherboard.

Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will
lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time
(plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).

New World Order virus: probably harmless, but it makes
a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

Nike virus: Just Does It!

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly
shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to
200MB.

Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not
horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk
attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:.

PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for
money.

Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a
"virus", but instead refers to itself as an
"electronic micro-organism".

Right To Life virus: Won't allow you to delete a file,
regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a
file, it requires you to first see a counselor about
possible alternatives.

Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it
ever happened.

Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any
other file.



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