How to Make your Car more like a Locomotive (Humor)

[photogeek88]

You can get them from the Schrader's catalog; they were on the back cover of the last one I got in the mail. Go to their website, and you should be able to find them.

[jchnhtfd]

try www.gsrrs.com -- they have couplers for 1.25 and 2" receivers -- or did.

[miniwyo]

Where exactly are theese hitch covers avalable online? I may reinstall my Recever hitch just to display it!!

[Anonymous]

Put on a front and rear porch.

[photogeek88]

Get some sheets of those sheets of magnets that come in 8.5/11'' sizes that you can run through an inkjet printer. I've made a few bumper magnets before with them, but now thanks to this topic im starting to think about making some builder plates! At least, you can put an "F" on your car, just in case you forgot which end of your car should be leading!

[Anonymous]

Install power reverse (none of this automatic junk).

Have a series-parallel switch.

[chad thomas]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Railroading_Brit

QUOTE: Originally posted by Jordan6

QUOTE: Originally posted by Lotus098

I saw a hitch cover that looks like coupler.

I've got one. I was on a roadswitcher down in Savanna, IL, and the trainmaster said if the engine ever breaks down, we'll just use my truck! KICK 'EM

I'm intrigued - what kind of hitch do they cover? Are we talking about a standard 50mm towball or something else?

Some vehicles have hitch balls that are bolted to the bumper. But some have a square tubular "reciver" that is usually mounted directly to the frame. The hitch ball is mounted to a slightly smaller square tube and that tube slips into the receiver. A large pin holds it in place. That way you can have several hitches with different ball sizes or heights. Changeing them is as easy as pulling the pin, slipping the hitch out, slideing the other hitch in and replaceing the pin. Some hitches are simple, the tubular steel with a plate welded on with a hole in it for the hitch ball. Some are complex setups with stabalizer bars and such.

[jchnhtfd]

Hitch covers -- couplers which actually don't look too bad, but are like way too small -- fit standard drawbars. Lots of places have them...

My Honda Civic Hybrid does have 'dynamic' brakes (actually regenerative, of course)! You don't usually notice them (you aren't supposed to...) but the first slight brush on the brake pedal activates the 'dynamcs', and further pressure activates the air (well... hydraulic, but why not pretend?).

[Anonymous]

Paint your car black and white, reverse your seats and drive it NW/NS-style.

One other way is to add an extra car, power them both with a gas-turbine and always have a trailer of fuel along with you.

Always drive in the middle of the street dead straight while signalling with your ditchlights and horn.

While your out shopping, stack your groceries. But always put a cucumber on top of a banana or two onions.

In the morning before going to work, call your wife and ask her permission to leave the driveway and ask permission to park it again that afternoon.

And don't forget to install a toilet. It can come in handy on those long trips.

[Anonymous]

Got rid of all the other crap in your car and install a Throttle control stand.
Allan.

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Jordan6

QUOTE: Originally posted by Lotus098

I saw a hitch cover that looks like coupler.

I've got one. I was on a roadswitcher down in Savanna, IL, and the trainmaster said if the engine ever breaks down, we'll just use my truck! KICK 'EM

I'm intrigued - what kind of hitch do they cover? Are we talking about a standard 50mm towball or something else?

[Jordan6]

1. Buy a Hi-Rail conversion kit
2. Suicide Doors (as menioned earlier) for that Jordan Spreader effect, pull up next to the curb and start plowin

[Jordan6]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Lotus098

I saw a hitch cover that looks like coupler.

I've got one. I was on a roadswitcher down in Savanna, IL, and the trainmaster said if the engine ever breaks down, we'll just use my truck! KICK 'EM

[Anonymous]

Put REAL couplers on--double the weight of your car [:D]!

[bnsfkline]

oh yeah, don't forget the Sand and the 1,000 gallon fuel tank and put wheel covers over the wheels that make them look like they are on EMD HTCR trucks!

[bnsfkline]

move the engine to the REAR of the Drivers seat and near the roof!

[bondjamesbond]

I say, paint it the proper green scheme as on the Flying Scotsman.

[TH&B]

Everywhere you drive have a Conductor on the passenger side and Brakeman in the back seat to throw fusees at tailgaters. Unless you are driving conductor only, or if you are full crew have 2 brakeman one up front and the Conductor in the back with the other "tailend" brakeman. ((Get the whole family involved and drive your kids to school this way, the coolest Dad ever!!!!! hehehe))

Keep a flagging kit in the car and a good supply of fusees.

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by uspscsx

QUOTE: Originally posted by CSXrules4eva

QUOTE: Originally posted by uspscsx

By all means, DRIVE A DIESEL!!! And if your car is not a diesel, change it over to a Diesel!!!

RIGHT ON BROTHER, DIESEL IS THE THE WAY TO GO!!!

[tup]

Agree 100%[8D]

[Anonymous]

Put 800 lbs. worth of side rods on your car, and have it counterbalanced for operation at 80 mph!

[Anonymous]

If I ever get a car- I dream of having a K5 BLAZER I hope tyo put airhorns on it- that would be neat

[edkowal]

First, you should move the driver's controls from the left (fireman's) side of the car to the right, or engineer's side. The throttle should not be foot operated, but some sort of hand operated lever. And no spring-loaded, return to zero pedal either. When you set the throttle to a particular setting, it should stay there until you move it to some other setting.

Brakes should be air operated, and the brake control should also be hand operated. Rather than a gear shift with first gear, second gear, etc. there should be a device which can continuously vary the amount of engine power which is applied to the wheels, (this to be analogous to a Johnson bar on a steam locomotive.)

Now for the fuel storage. You should construct some type of storage tank, trailer affair to hold your fuel. Since you'll be quite busy with throttle settings, and working the reversing gear, you'll need a second person in the car, whose job it is to control how much gasoline, diesel fuel or whatever you've decided to use from this tender to the carburetor or fuel injector. This person does not control the throttle setting, however, so you'll have to design some sort of system that makes fuel delivery from the tender distinct from fuel delivery to the engine.

Remove the sheet metal from the entire back end of the car so that the rear is open to the elements. You'll also want to build some sort of view blocking superstructure on the front of the car so that you only have a clear view forward on the right hand side. Your assistant, the fireman, will be responsible for keeping alert on the left side.

Replace the rubber tires and shock absorbing system on your car. Both of these systems are not really needed in their present form. They merely contribute to operator comfort. Replace them with industrial strength springing and steel-tired wheels. These are less likely to need replacement. And flat tires due to nails on the road will be a thing of the past.

Remove the heating and air conditioning system. Let the heat from the engine compartment keep the operators from freezing. Radio and stereo system have got to go. A dangerous distraction from paying attention to the road ahead, especially with the last modification in place.

Lastly. don't forget to lock the steering mechanism of your car so that you can only go straight forward or straight backward. Other individuals will operate ponderous mechanisms in the road to control whether you will turn from your path straight ahead.

And don't forget, you won't be able to drive this vehicle until you have:

a) satisfactorily shown complete knowledge of the operating rules of the road

b) served a certain amount of time as a fireman, and

c) been qualified on the route that you will be driving on. Simply deciding to go somewhere you've never been before, on the spur of the moment, will be forbidden. If you don't have a pilot on board to guide you, you're just not going.

Sounds like fun, doesn't it ?

-Ed

[edbenton]

Turbo supercharge uit to make it sound like an EMD spooling up route the brake heat up to the roof and put a fan there for exhaust and reroute the radiators to the roof also. Drive them all with a electric motor and there you go a lcocmotive

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by CSXrules4eva

QUOTE: Originally posted by uspscsx

By all means, DRIVE A DIESEL!!! And if your car is not a diesel, change it over to a Diesel!!!

RIGHT ON BROTHER, DIESEL IS THE THE WAY TO GO!!!

[tup]

[CSXrules4eva]

QUOTE: Originally posted by uspscsx

By all means, DRIVE A DIESEL!!! And if your car is not a diesel, change it over to a Diesel!!!

RIGHT ON BROTHER, DIESEL IS THE THE WAY TO GO!!!

[Anonymous]

Yes, but do they come with loud humming noises and 4' diameter cooling fans? It might make the car look more like a helicopter, but oh well [:)][:D]!

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by GP-9_Man11786

Couldn't gas/electric hybrids have dynamic brakes?
Seems like these are closest to actualy working like a locomotive.

I think some of them sort of do - the motor charges the batteries on downhill stretches. The problem is that the makers obviously feel adding a control to allow you to vary the braking effect would be too complex for Joe Public. Don't get me started on the problems with hybrids...[;)]

[mersenne6]

Paint the care with a prototypical paint scheme - At the big TCA meet in York several years ago two different individuals had done exactly this with their respective vans. Both chose the Pennsy GG1 Brunswick Green complete with the PRR keystone on the front and the 5 gold stripes down the side. One was an obvious home shop job and the other was a custom paint. Those of us who saw both of them called the home made one the prototype and the custom paint one the production model.

[GP-9_Man11786]

Couldn't gas/electric hybrids have dynamic brakes?
Seems like these are closest to actualy working like a locomotive.