Great Lakes and Atlantic-Dream come true?

[Junctionfan]

Hello everybody and welcome to fantasyland.

I am the Chairman, Owner and Chief Operating Officer of the Great Lakes and Atlantic Railroad. The railroad is a class 1 railroad that was formed with the consolidation of Rail America, Genesse&Wyoming and the Ontario Nortland.

Today I need people for my management team to help me with my railroad.

The positions are....

Cheif Financial Officer
Vice President of Security and Legal Services
Vice President of Intermodal and Development
Vice President of Agriculture and Development
Vice President of Mining Commodities and Development
Vice President of Tourism and Public Relations
Vice President of Chemical, Petrochemical and Waste Management
Vice President of Real Estate and Property Management
Vice President of Research
Vice President of Human Resources
Vice President of Supply Logistics and Development
Vice President of Marketing and Customer Services

Who want's to join my railroad? [:D][:D][:D]

And remember

We care about our employees but don't cross the boss.

[Randy Stahl]

Sounds top heavy to me, what do you need all those high paid VPs for anyhow ? If your going to startup , you need more practical RR men rather than tossing away large sums of ca***hat you havn't earned yet on people that sit behind desks . Perhaps in time you will be able to expand.
Randy

[Junctionfan]

I have already been operating for a while. I operate over 400 trains a day. I purchased the several trucking companies including Trans X and TST Overland. I run from Boston to Montreal, Boston to Chicago, Buffalo to Pittsburgh, Detroit to Cincinnati, London Ontario to Toronto plus the Ontario Nortland.

This is why I need all the management and must be decent railfans. Workers aren't the problem-got plenty from the existing shortline companies.

[gabe]

Randy is absolutely right.

There is no way your railway will be able to pay the 200 high-priced lawyers that it will need--and who doesn't--to be able to be a proper company if it has all of those high-priced positions.

While we are at it, we better cut some of the non-managerial positions too. After all, with lawyers on board, do we really need to worry about safety?

Last, but not least, we better make sure we cancel all fan excursions. We don't want our legal department over worked by all of the legal problems that can result from such frivolous activity.

We should not get rid of the Chief financial officer though; got to keep him or her on board to make sure the lawyers get paid.

Gabe

[Randy Stahl]

Gabe.... What are you saying ? does this RR need a phone tapping dept ? and the appropriate VP and his legal staff to go with it ?

Randy

[gabe]

I hadn't really thought about it; but, if it means more lawyers, it can't possibly be a bad thing. Right?

[Overmod]

Randy, if there's a phone tapping department, it's a VP and his ILLegal staff. (Perhaps the socialist government in Canada freely condones wiretaps whenever a philosopher-king railroad president deems them desirable, though ;-})

Why not hire all those poor management types Uncle Pete sacked earlier this year? They need jobs, too...

[Junctionfan]

QUOTE: Originally posted by gabe

Randy is absolutely right.

There is no way your railway will be able to pay the 200 high-priced lawyers that it will need--and who doesn't--to be able to be a proper company if it has all of those high-priced positions.

While we are at it, we better cut some of the non-managerial positions too. After all, with lawyers on board, do we really need to worry about safety?

Last, but not least, we better make sure we cancel all fan excursions. We don't want our legal department over worked by all of the legal problems that can result from such frivolous activity.

We should not get rid of the Chief financial officer though; got to keep him or her on board to make sure the lawyers get paid.

Gabe

I don't run like CN; and no E Hunter Harrison isn't welcome on my board of directors.

[gabe]

Oh, so we will be a non-profit operation then?

Did I mention non-profit operations need lawyers as well?

Gabe

[Anonymous]

Now that's a new one on me, a railroad that is a charity, how novel[#dots].

[Anonymous]

Make sure all those VPs know how to operate a shovel and get some useful work out of them.

Wayne

[Junctionfan]

I have my operation costs under control Gabe. I have enough lawyers including Robert Shapiro and Johnny Cochrane (definately fantasy land[:D]).

I need department heads. I currently have only a CEO (me), and CFO, COO and Cheif of Security and Legal Services (G&A police included).

Who will step up to the plate?

I think Mark W Hemphill would make a fine Vice President of Research for example; and edblysard a fine Vice President of Security and Legal Services.

[tree68]

QUOTE: Originally posted by piouslion

Now that's a new one on me, a railroad that is a charity, how novel[#dots].

More than a few railroads have turned into nonprofits, albeit unintentially....

[jchnhtfd]

Don't laugh, guys -- funnier things have happened in the la-la-land which characterises big corporations these days!

Junction -- why not pick up some of the trackage on the south shore of the St. Lawrence (the old New York, Ontario & Western) while you're at it -- and maybe the St. Johnsbury and Lamoille County too!

[cpbloom]

Come on don't be so critical, play along.

I'll take VP of Tourism and P.R.

[Junctionfan]

QUOTE: Originally posted by jchnhtfd

Don't laugh, guys -- funnier things have happened in the la-la-land which characterises big corporations these days!

Junction -- why not pick up some of the trackage on the south shore of the St. Lawrence (the old New York, Ontario & Western) while you're at it -- and maybe the St. Johnsbury and Lamoille County too!

I do own the Providence and Worchester, Guilford Systems, St. Lawrence and Atlantic and the Montreal Maine and Atlantic around that area.

[Anonymous]

I'll concur with the tourisim and PR part for you, Would you let me take the pictures?

[Anonymous]

I'll take on art and advertising. Posters for everyone, but I want to lay out the trainmen's uniform specs as well. Computer tickets should still come out on Association Ticket Paper.

Sounds like a fit, I must commit.
Mitch

[cpbloom]

QUOTE: Originally posted by piouslion

I'll concur with the tourisim and PR part for you, Would you let me take the pictures?

Its yours

[Overmod]

Mitch -- start by giving him a herald and logo to replace that ghastly thing he puts in his signature... ;-}

I have a vision of the "Proudly Serving North America" as a banner on the long hood, with paired flags of the two nations in parallel ... the US flag leading Canadian on one side, Canadian leading on the other ... much like the UP long-hood flags -- rather than using the slogan on the cab a la '70s Union Pacific "We Pan-Handle It"

This puts the numbers on the cab, gold outline with some deep color, engine-turning embossed into the (vinyl self-adhesive) stock used for the numbers. What's the right "company" typeface for the numbers and lettering?

Number boards should be some hue of yellow or orange, in reverse, on dark background (as that's the most visible by actual test).

Does he use the three-light Canadian-style markers? Be sure there are IR transceivers in there for non-radio line-of-sight wireless communication... ;-}

And, of course, variable-deflection Gyra-Lite type anticollision (you can adjust the 'wobble' of the beam, and perhaps also modulate the speed of rotation within limits, so that it can act as a spotlight does). Not a replacement for alternate-flashing ditch lights, of course -- those light the roadbed and sides, down low, so provide optics like projector-beam headlights (and perhaps put strobe tubes in the housings that synchronize with signals from 'grade crossing cams' to give better lighting to 'malefactors' ...

Dark blue for the Atlantic
Light blue above for big sky
Gold lettering and striping for wheat? I'd look at a modified NYC lightning stripe for general contour; Sterzing said he'd have picked it for the Sharks if he'd seen it before he approved the Warbonnet model...

Get hold of Raytheon and have them gin up a larger version of the NightDriver system for the engineer -- cost-effective, fixes forever any problem with 800-foot visibility for the engine crew, and almost certainly can be made to interface with the cab control and communications systems.

[gabe]

Sorry Junctionfan,

But the law offices of Dewy Cheatam n' Hall have just been employed by Gabe Hawkins to file an injunction (no punn intended) against the Great Lakes & Atlantic Railway.

Mr. Hawkins is aware of your Canadian ancestory and has yet to recover from the Canadians taking over his beloved Illinois Central and Wisconsin Central. Although Mr. Hawkins is rumored to be fond of Canadians, he has seen enough and cannot stand the thought of another American Railway succombing to his brothers to the north.

[Junctionfan]

Good luck with that; my lawyers will tie it up in court for years if it goes through. I do plan on buying the Wisconsin Southern and taking over all the neglected CN customers there next year as well as the E J&E.

Make no mistake America; our company maybe Canadian in origin but unlike the other class 1s, we care about our customers and their prosperity. If they prosper, we prosper. You have nothing to worry about.

[gabe]

I will boycot bacon, Labatts Blue, and Celine Dion if this thing goes through.

[JoeKoh]

Im not scared. I'll take Marketing and customer service.Look out ns and csx
stay safe
Joe

[Overmod]

Gabe, when did Mr. Howe retire, and when did Mr. Hall make partner?

And the middle man's name is CHEATHAM. Howard E. Cheatham, Esq. He tends to be litigious when misspelled...

[gabe]

Is it possible to misspell last names you make up? Oh the existential debate that rages in my head.

[cpbloom]

If they are a smart lawfirm they will clearly understand that no railroad stands idly by and get "absorbed" by another as if they are powerless to do anything (except maybe help).

If they are an even smarter lawfirm they will blindly accept the ca$e.

[gabe]

They don't represent a railroad; they represent me and my purely selfish interest in not seeing another railroad go the way IC and WC did. But, you are right, they will take the ca$e.

Gabe

[Junctionfan]

It's too late....resistance is futile. How many railroads do you think are owned by Rail America and the Genesse Wyoming (lots). When we consolidated, we just joined in the lines at least around the Great Lakes, and made the mainlines. Too bad I couldn't have bought the BLE and the others before CN got their grubby little hands into it.

Oh well, the Buffalo and Pittsburgh lines can take care of the abandoned CN customers there too.

[Overmod]

Gabe, if you made up the old vaudeville gag Dewey, Cheatum and Howe you must be about 110 years old. Congratulations on remaining in such good health! Even the Three Stooges used this, back in the '30s.

Seriously -- or perhaps unseriously would be a better word -- the 'Cheatham' is a less unlikely spelling for a 'dignified' senior law partner (even if it started off being a more 'Faulknerian' (or Falknerian, incidentally using the original form) spelling).

There's a rival law firm by the name of Roger, Futter and Swive, btw. (of the late Keith Laumer's origination). I leave you to fill in the first names; all we were given was that one of the Roger family partners was John Thomas Roger...