Murphy's Laws of Model Railroading

[jwfoise]

I saw this on a science joke website....

Varley's Laws of Model Railway Operation (some rather specific cases of Murphy)

Zeroth Law: An engine will always derail at the least accessible part of the line.

First Law: Engines have two operating speeds: Too Fast and Stop.

Second Law: You only discover the loose fishplate after you nail the track down.

Third Law: The likelihood of an object falling over is directly proportional to the number of times you've had to stand it up again.

[BRAKIE]

4th law. When you run the layout solo all goes well,when friend come over and you run it for them,it acts up.
5th law.All you cars wheels and couplers matches the guage till you take them to a club for open hose and everything happens.
next giver of laws step up

[Anonymous]

This law applies to all repair jobs as well as model railroading:
A dropped tool/part always rolls to the exact center of the layout.
(Known to never fail during auto repairs)
Eric from Doylestown

[Anonymous]

7th law...light bulbs only burn out in buildings that are virtually impossible to lift out.
8th law...a side rod screw only backs out and drops the rod in a tunnel.
9th law...the cat never breaks a dummy Bachmann signal bridge, only a lighted NJ unit.

[Anonymous]

10th law... Every time you're engrossed in a super-detailing project that requires concentration and a steady hand, a voice will call out from upstairs..."Honey? Can you come here for a minute?"

[dknelson]

Nelson's law: the ACC works best when you incorrectly placed the part to be glued

Dave Nelson

[mhdishere]

After a derailment, the most expensive cars hit the floor first and the cheap ones land on top.

Benchwork lowers itself as you crawl underneath (ouch!)

And Mark's first rule of home (or layout) repair, if you can't fix it with duct tape, it's really broken.

[BR60103]

..and if you use post-it-note glue it goes into positon perfectly.

David

[Anonymous]

Ed's Rule of Rolling Stock -

That piece of rolling stock, painted and lettered for your favorite line, you always wanted will be released only after you have kitbashed/scratchbuilt one for five times the cost.

[Anonymous]

These are great fun. Here are a couple from my experience.

11th Law:
That cut-off disk that shattered while in use and flew who-knows-where is impossible to find until a visitor, observing your best scenic vignette says, "Hey, what's that?"

12th Law:
That tool that has been missing forever turns up in some weird location under the layout where you laid it temporarily. But, it does so only after you have purchased a replacement.

Have fun,
George

[MAbruce]

13th (N-scale) loco law. If a Kato F7A and a Bachmann F7A were to fall from the layout at the same time, the Kato unit will suffer catastrophic damage while the Bachmann would be suffer no apparent damage - and even run better as a result.

[Anonymous]

14th law The small brass detail part that fell in into the carpet, and you thought was gone forever usually ends up on the bottom of your wife's barefoot.

[dknelson]

Not a "law" but I am reminded of an old Model Railroader cartoon. The guy's benchwork looks awful -- crooked and irregular. He's looking at his level and saying "Well I'll be! The little bubble's stuck!"

Dave

[Anonymous]

Law 15: The amount of paint spilled, is equaled to the amount of paint needed to finish a project.
Law 16: Cheap pair of tweezers are good for pulling slivers, and shooting small detail parts across the room.

[Anonymous]

Law 17: There is a join in the Homasote exactly where the pins for your ground throw need to be inserted. ( 17a: It is the only ground throw that is at full arms' length from the front of the benchwork.)
Law 18: You have built a hinged tracked section for layout access, out of materials which have a virtual zero coefficient of expansion and contraction. Your benchwork on both sides is of dry, seasoned lumber, heavily braced. The entire railroad room itself, will then expand and contract seasonally to ensure a poor fit.

[Anonymous]

Law 19 While on a roll making progress on a pet project, you will run out of a critically needed paint, glue etc. 5 minutes after the store closes.
Law 20, You need ONE specific size turnout, switch machine etc. to complete an important section of your layout. Guess which one the store will tell you "Will be in next Thursday"? Ron H.

[Anonymous]

Amen to that.

Whitney

[Anonymous]

Law #18 is great...a classic. LOL

[cbq9911a]

Law 21: When an eagerly anticipated model comes in, it will be, in some subtle but very obvious way, incorrect.

Law 21a: Equipment lettered for Chicago and North Western is particularly prone to follow law 21.

Law 22: HO Couplers are never at the right height.

Law 23: Manufacturers seldom letter and paint models to represent preserved pieces of equipment, even though it would lead to increased sales.

[BR60103]

Law 24: The more cars a manufacturer sells, the less likely they are to tell you exactly what they based the model on (if they did).

[Anonymous]

Law 25: You will find the part/tool you were looking for last week only when you are looking for a different one though in your excitement of finding it you will have forgotten what you were looking for in the first place.

Law 26: A train will pull apart during an open day at a spot where it passed without incident before only due to the fact that the aisles are clogged with people and you being the only one running the trains have to get to it before the following train gives the stopped one a 'shove' and no other members have noticed because the are talking to the public.

[Anonymous]

THE LAW OF ALL.Your wife or girlfriend comes in the train room when you are having fun and offers you a PIECE.

[Anonymous]

Always tell your wife about a purchase because
some one might call to ask a question and you are
not home. The person on the phone will say, I want
to know where to get one and how much it was? Now
don't get red when your wife asks you.

[Anonymous]

That is an extremely inappropriate posting, and does not at all fit in with what has been a very enjoyable thread !!!!

[Anonymous]

BOO YOU MIKE

[dknelson]

Something tells me Ross's posting was done under intense duress by a wife -- most model rails know better than to leave a message where a wife might hear it.

[Dad Howe]

I've had two laws confirmed over several years of Model Railroading:

1. The smallest part always lands in the deepest carpet. And then hides.

2. The more important a part is to the repair of the item, the more often it WILL land on the floor.

2a. Regardless of a part's importance to the repair, it WILL land on the floor at least twice before the repair is made.

Dad Howe

[GerFust]

I have to side with Mike on this one. It wasn't funny. Nor did it do anything to add to modelrailroading. That could have been stated less lewdly and more broadly without the illicit slang as "When really enjoying your layout your wife, kids, etc. will come by and want to spend time with you somehow else."

[Anonymous]

and speaking of parts following on the floor: how can a little plastic part weighing a fraction of an ounce, fall 2&1/2 feet to a thick carpet and wind up 12 ft from the drop point. Isn't that a violation of the laws of physics?

[Anonymous]

boo you to ger