The friendly enemies, or robber barons

[Anonymous]

I'm glad i got a new pair of hip boots for fishing , it's getting a little deep here .

[tangerine-jack]

MEMO:

FROM:   Mr. Tangerine Jack, Owner & Operator - Dixie D Short Line RR

                        The Fatcapt, CEO, CFO, CBA, & Chairman - Round Tuit & Faraway

TO: RbFSRy President Douglas Flatbottom

Private inter-railroad Message:

As you are no doubt aware, your railroad has suffered many unexplained and unfortunate events, cumulating the burning of the offices of your partners at Rosebud Falls Gazette.   The DDSL and RT&F feel your pain and are quite confident these unprofitable circumstances could continue for some time.  Therefore, we generously propose to purchase your struggling railroad for a magnanimous sum of $4.00 an acre.  We highly suggest that you retire from the RbFSRy and find a nice beach in Borneo to live on with the money from the sale of your railroad.  It would be disrespectful, and not very smart, to turn down this offer you can’t refuse. 

You will soon receive a package containing a high powered telescope and instructions on its use.  Use it wisely and understand that what you are seeing in geosynchronous orbit above your railroad is not a 3ft model or painted matte glass (honest!) but a fully functional negotiating device.

We hope for your sake that you will make the correct decision to sell your assets to us and live a long and comfortable life in retirement.

 

[Capt Bob Johnson]

                             RESPONSE

FROM: Fatcapt

TO: Tangerine Jack

TEXT:   Whadda you doin offering him $4 an acre?   After all the damage you've done to his holdings Ole Flatbottoms entire empire ain't worth over $2.36 an acre!    Heck, he could take that and, if he ain't tired of railroading, he can build hisself one of them thar G- Scale Garden Railroads to play with in his retirement!

Did I detect a note of sarcasm from our buddy up north there in Hersheyland?   We gonna have to melt his chocolate???   I guess if he gets too outta line we'll just have to get his fishin'  & crabbin' license revoked!

What did you hear about that Smith Guy out there in Califoorny?   From what I hear, he's running some little one off stuff that is so old and clapped out that he requires 87 people in the repair shop to keep one or two running at a time!  After the way his road is ever shrinking it's hardly worth our effort, I'd think!

Geez, Did you have to obliterate poor Torby??? The guy ain't had any track to run on in ages, then you go zapping him in some experiment!   Talk about a loose cannon!

                 

 

[tangerine-jack]

RESPONSE

FROM: Tangerine-Jack

TO: Fatcap

Torby's holdings were determined to be of little value to our future railroad empire so a test firing of the Dixie Star's main negotiating device on his insignificant holdings was perfectly in order.  Besides, he called me "wierd".

I have no intention of actually paying Mr. Flatbottom for the properties.  Mr. Chin and company will be present at the signing over of the lease to ensure that the "gift" of his railroad to us is recieved legaly.  From there we can subdivied the property to maximum profit potential.  The unusable portions will be sold off to Mr. Chin's overseas business partners for future big-box store construction, while the rest will be reformed into the Western Branch RTF/DDSL.

Extension plans into the Los Angeles area are proceeding well.  Ground work has been laid for phase II of Bob Doctrine plan "absorbtion".  Operative "X" is in the LA area as we speak, while operative "Q" is enroute to Texas for recon.

[vsmith]

[ttrigg]

Rosebud Falls Gazette
Charter Member of the Garden Railways Associated Press Enterprises
Published by Rosebud Free Press

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT
Hostile Takeover of Rosebud Falls Gazette
And RbFSRy

With the recent demise of Douglas Flatbottom and associates, there has been a management change for both the Gazette and the local railroads system.  During a midnight meeting of local business men of Rosebud Falls, Mr. Piccolo Pete was elected temporary President of Rosebud Falls Enterprises.  Mr. Pete accepted the appointment on the condition that the board select someone with more railroad experience within the next six months.  Ms. Legga Bloomer, Proprietess of "The Red Garter Saloon and Hotel" has agreed to temporarily assume the duties of Editor and Chief of the Gazette.  Sheriff Eyegota Star was selected to temporarily take charge of the Rosebud Falls Bank, and has accepted the challenge of locating and returning the missing funds believed to have been moved to an unnumbered Swiss bank account by the late Douglas Flatbottom. 



Ms. Minie Sevenmugs (pictured above) will lead a delegation to talk with prospective candidates for the permanent position of CEO of RbFSRy, such as Cornelius "Jimmy" Sanderson, shop foreman of the  Norma & Micaela RR Station in Two Trees TX.  Additionally Ms. Sevenmugs will also speak with Mr. Richard "Scoop" Carails of the Two Trees Times about the possibility of becoming the Managing Editor of the Gazette.


Mr. Pete stated that his first order of business will be to return the valley to it's previously peaceful self, and to eliminate the hostile environment created by two of the less significant eastern railroads.  Deputy Sheriff Eyegota Star II has confirmed that the hooligans from those eastern railroads will never again darken the fair flowers of this peaceful valley.

[vsmith]

Thanks Tom

Still awaiting verification of the destruction of the Dixie Star. Apparently a Supertanker of Tabasco Sauce was shipped to French Guinea for delivery onto an Ariel rocket to the orbital construction site, it hasnt been seen since but hundreds of pick up trucks from the now apparently dead operations crew have reportedly been shipped to North Korea to be converted to the latest in frontline backwoods technical armor. My sources deep undercover in a top secret kimche factory sent me this page from the training manuals:

 

[vsmith]

FLASH: This just came through the tunnel under the Barent Straights, apparently all is not lost with the destruction of the Dixie Star, there secret prototype strike fighter was able to escape before the final spicy demise of the station, heres a pic of the strike fighter carrying the Ops crew back to Earth, according to my sources they are still trying to figure out where their pick up trucks went.

 

It remains to be seen what this could mean for the ongoing feud as apparently this strike fighter has a cloaking device that makes it near impossible to detect when parked in the Rosebudd Falls Wallmart parking lot.

[Capt Bob Johnson]

Personal Memo

 

FROM: Fatcapt

 

TO:  Tangerine Jack

 

Text:

            I have hired the Dinkerton Defective Detective Agency to delve into the goings on in Rosebud Falls and particularly concerning the RFSRyCo and have some startling news for you.   This Pete guy who plays with his piccolo is really Old Doug Flatbottom’s brother in law!   Flatbottom is up to something nefarious here!  It looks like he’s suckered the whole town in on it!

Have the legal dept. on hand to check any paperwork that is to be signed BEFORE we somehow get snookered in this deal!

 

            If we do indeed take over the operations of that deal I’d suggest we put that gal Legga Bloomer in charge of the operation.   She has proven that she has the acumen to run a successful business and demonstrated that she can make the most of her assets!   She’s gotta be pretty slick cause she surely keeps all those workers in her house happy and company minded!

 

            We should consider making that Minie Sevenmugs the person in charge of hospitality!   She has the attributes of leadership in that position!

 

            That waste of space Eyegotta Star II can be totally discounted!   He’s dumber than the walls in his jail!   I’m told he’s gotta take off his shoes if he wants to count any number higher than 10!   And they was dumb enough to put him in charge of the bank!   Another of Flatbottom’s sneaky moves if you ask me!

 

            I don’t care what happens with the newspaper, sell it to that Scoop guy; I hear he’d have trouble scooping up doggy do!

 

            Now, this Smith guy is shaping up to be a formidable opponent; even though he’s trying to sit on the fence and pretend to be an uninvolved observer.   Watch him.   He came golly awful close with that Tabasco Sauce guess!   Looks to me like he might have the smarts and the knowledge to figger out what you’re up to!

 

            That guy up there in Chocolateland just didn’t get the message when we had the State boys close down his favorite camping place for his fishing trips!   You might have to send Mr. Chin up there to let him know that he won’t ever go fishin’ if he don’t get in line and watch what he’s saying!    How long do you think it would take him to crank a reel again if his fingers were to somehow get caught up in mama’s washing machine wringer?

 

            I haven’t heard anything from that Carrales feller down there in Texas lately!   Suppose he lost it when the Green Turkeys done beat his cowgirls???   They too dumb to know what kind of sabotage that TO was when we palmed him off on them!

 

            Once you have digested all this, let me know what you think!

[vsmith]

 

            Now, this Smith guy is shaping up to be a formidable opponent; even though he’s trying to sit on the fence and pretend to be an uninvolved observer.   Watch him.   He came golly awful close with that Tabasco Sauce guess!   Looks to me like he might have the smarts and the knowledge to figger out what you’re up to!

 

           

 

Look I really am neutral, I got enough troubles keeping the State Department and that loony guy with the afro who thinks he's the Korean Jesus off my back and out of my secret Kimche factory. I have no desire to compromise my lucrative business, its just that my girls in the factory happen to hear all the gossip when the shipment are sent they forward it all to me, they think of me like an uncle, a very affectionate uncle, but thats as far as that goes, at least on here! Just to prove my point, they just sent me this top secret footage of the fuel testing being done before the final test...it shows just how dangerous this stuff is!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FjeQ9mbwOs&mode=related&search

 

PS I cannot verify or deny if the labratory technition shown in the tape is or is not the CEO of the Dixie Shortline

[Capt Bob Johnson]

Nah!, too much fuzz on the top to be our boy!

[tangerine-jack]

DIXIE D SHORT LINE

PUBLIC PRESS RELEASE

 

The Dixie D Short line would like to announce that the Dixie Star, the DDSL and RT&F peaceful research laboratory, medical center and pork sausage distillery is again fully operational following a minor accident in one of the research labs.  The Dixie Star is well known for its many humanitarian enrichment research labs, schools for the underprivileged, and on station orphanages.  The accident in the advanced power research development center was very minor and caused no injuries.  A small amount of structural damage was sustained in the communications relay, causing a temporary loss of radio contact with the DDSL ground operators.  We are aware of certain uniformed press releases coming from the West coast reporting the destruction of the Dixie Star, but they can be dismissed as nonsense.  The Dixie Star is fully functional and the children are safe.

 

The Dixie D SL would like to express its heartfelt sympathy and compassion for the terrible events suffered by the peace loving people of the Democratic People’s Republic of the Odyssey Westward Railroad.   Such senseless loss of human life is beyond comprehension and the DDSL/ RT&F stand ready to assist in any recovery efforts.  As always our humanitarian mission remains first in our railroad.

 

 

Main communication beam during peaceful anti-violence testing.

 

happy orphans attend one of the Dixie Stars many on station schools for the poor