Tj,
Just in case you should have to pull a certain party out of retirement, I have arranged to have one of my steamers put in to Sicily, ostensibly to make repairs! (And you thought I only had a railroad!) Since the charter party calls for the charterer to pay all expenses until redelivery on the East Coast of the US; I told the Chief to make the repairs last for up to 10 days before sailing for Hampton Roads! We can sail at a moment's notice, but the Chief will make it look good! Just let me know what you have in mind!
I have put all dispatchers on alert that if a special from the Dixie D needs trackage rights they are to get the way cleared PDQ, or they are gonna be looking for jobs they can do without arms!
I don't think we need to worry overmuch about old Flatbottom at this point, cause I have done some sniffing around and know something that he is not aware of!
The Dixie D Short Line has released the following press announcement:
“The Dixie D Short Line is not intimidated by the Rosebud Falls Gazette’s printing of Mr. Douglas Flatbottom, CEO RbFSRy, announcement of the agreement to purchase over 100 Polish Draisine from the Foundry and Firearms Division of Davenower Limited. Mr. Flatbottom is merely trying to cover up incompetent management of his own railroad by falsely accusing the DDSL of wrongdoing, the proof of which continues to elude Mr. Flatbottom.
Although Davenower Limited produces high quality products, the Polish Draisine is not a fitting subject for such a well respected firm. It is apparent that the Draisine contains multiple design flaws that not only render it useless for its intended purpose, but is in fact dangerous only to its crew. The DDSL is not interested in RbFSRy junk as it in no way affects the economic ties the DDSL has with other East Coast and Canadian railroads.”
In unrelated news, the DDSL has made public today the restructuring of its security division. Gone are Vinny “da kneecap” Testosterone, having been replaced by the quiet, but scary, “Mr. Chin” with an all new hand picked security team. “I so solly for Mr. Testosterone’s little accident, velly bad luck fo him” said Mr. Chin on Testosterone’s sudden retirement. “My han pick team, velly scalry guys, no want to meet dem in dahk alley”.
DDSL security forces move out for the day’s training. Undated file photo, AP
The Dixie D Short Line "Lux Lucet In Tenebris Nihil Igitur Mors Est Ad Nos 2001"
Have fun with your trains
I think you teo blokes need restructuring; we would never put up with anything like this down under.
We are more interested in the intersheep wars; across the Tasman Sea between Australia and New Zealand
Australia has recently defeated New Zealand in the Sheep Dog trials and not a single dog was found gui;lty; however a few of the handlers were.
Rgds Aussie Ian
Tom Trigg
Hey Flatbottom, too bad you wiggled and scrunched around when you took that picture causing you to snap one of a local tourist attraction; the one I have assigned to the disposal of the Dixie D is a cut down FFG that retains the GT propulsion but had it's weapons systems and a bunch of other unnecessary stuff removed to better enable it's use as a high speed illicit weapons smuggler.
I'd not be too worried about your imported armored car as research shows that it was designed by Boyima Dumkowski who was canned from Polish Air Safety Equipment Company for designing that parachute that deployed on ground contact utilizing a pre WWII naval torpedo triggering mechinism! Even the test monkeys went to a better place after using that one, and that invention drove the firm under!
TJ, the "Golden Slipper" is under way, weather routed, making good speed, and gives an ETA Cape Henry of 0630/12th! She should slide into the pier in Hampton Roads shortly thereafter having discharged your priority cargo in the vicinity of the Bridge Tunnel Island!
Ithink what is needed are some of DaveNower manufacturings other products - much more suited to peacekeeping applications than an armoured car - tho the ammo doesnt come cheap !!
A generous discount is available for bulk purchases tho a cautionary note needs some good solid track
Mr. Tangerine-jack of the DDSL has released the following statement:
“It comes as no surprise that Mr. Flatbottom is again mistaken about the DDSL and RT&F activities. He can hardly run his own railroad, so it stands to reason he should know nothing about boats. The Scow pie, along with its sister ships the Smackwater and the Hung Lo, are indeed modern oceangoing Chinese Junks and used for legitimate cruise ship purposes and are generating great revenue for the railroad. I can confirm that the Scow Pie is the personal pleasure boat of my security chief, Mr. Chin, so comes as no surprise to see it cruising around the Pacific Ocean. Where else would Mr. Flatbottom expect a boat to be?
Mr. Chin is a great supporter of the Hong Kong police and often attends charity fund raisers and police balls with local law enforcement and civil authorities. I hired him for his specialized knowledge of law and security enforcement, he is the best in his trade.”
The Sicilian police, along with INTERPOL have confirmed that Mr. Chin is indeed a “person of interest” in the sudden and permanent retirement of Mr. Vinny Kneecap. Taromina chief of police, honorable constable Salvador Spaggetio had this to say about the whole incident:
“We are indeed wanting to question Mr. Chin, not as a suspect, but for tips on how to do it ourselves, Mr. Chin is one smooth operator, clean, I like that. Mr. Kneecap had become quite the squeaky wheel lately in complaining about the RT&F management not allowing him full license to “explore his creative interests” in dealing with the RbFSRy security problems of last summer. It is our belief that, like all squeaky wheels, Vinny finaly got himself greased.”
When questioned about the rumor that the DDSL and RT&F were engaged in secret negotiations to purchase upgraded military hardware from the Foundry and Firearms Division of Davenower Limited, Capt Bob “fat man” Johnson of the RT&F only said “that’s a secret, but we can afford it”. Mr. Jack only added a definite “maybe, but who cares”
The RT&F has been upgrading to stronger track under the guise of repairs due to flooding. This new trackage is capable of handling the armaments produced by Davenower Limited, although no firm connection can be made to the alleged arms deal. The DDSL shows no signs of upgrading, but underground tunnels have been spotted using high resolution thermal satellite imaging.
vsmith wrote:
try this one:
anyway back to trains
Vic,
This is a continuation of the supposed takeover war from last year! TJ (Dixie D) & I ( Round Tuit and Faraway) were raiding Tom's ( Rosebud Falls). The verbiage got a bit out of hand and well into the science fiction stuff and we cooled it for a while! see private messg.
MEMO:
FROM: The Fatcapt, CEO, CFO, CBA, & Chairman - Round Tuit & Faraway
TO: Mr. Tangerine Jack, Owner & Operator - Dixie D Short Line RR
Message:
Have you noticed that little ad in the classified section of the Rosebud Falls Gazette where old Flatbottom is soliciting bids on mulch for his reforestration project which is needed after his disastrous forest fire last year? (It'll take years for him to get the timber he needs for expanding his RR)
Why don't we go after that contract? We can hook up a unit train and send it down to the Bayous in Looseiana and load up with a mess of that stuff they ground up from Katrina debris; You Know, that stuff that's loaded with those Formosan Termites!
That ought to take care of any timber he's trying to grow without any further effort on our part, and he won't be able to point a finger at us cause we'll just come back with that age old adage of "Caveat Emptor"!!!
Is that a plan???
the way this is going methinks one of youz will need one of deez...
My experiance with that particular weapon (based on many years of ballista battles at Scout Camp, Scoutmasters vs Camp Staph{sp deliberate}) has proven that that can be an accurate lobber, and given some boost utilizing bungee cords or surgical tubing you can get unbelieveable range with it! We used water balloons for ammo, but I have known folks to use some downright nasty stuff to shoot from them!
You might also check out our local World Championship Punkin Chunkin held each fall here in Sussex County. They have teams come from ILL, Kansas, and last year there was one from Merry olde England! Word has it that there are 2 foreign teams entered this year! The original weapon in Punkin Chunkin was a catapault, then they got into all kinds of fancy motorized stuff, and wound up using air cannons!
Your choice of weapons is duly noted and filed! Are we to assume you are joining the fray?
FROM: Mr. Tangerine Jack, Owner & Operator - Dixie D Short Line RR
TO: The Fatcap, CEO, CFO, CBA, & Chairman – Round Tuit & Faraway
Private inter-office Message:
Fatcap,
Enclosed is an official update on special project “RbFSRy B-gone”. In light of recent activities by Mr. Flatbottom I felt it in our best interest to accelerate work on what is now the ultimate power in the universe. By your command prompt, I will activate the primary weapon system and Mr. Flatbottom can witness the full power of this fully armed and operational battle station.
The Dixie D SL’s ultimate weapon, the “Dixie Star” is a mobile battle station that mounts a directed superlaser weapon capable of completely destroying the RbFSRy with a single shot. The Dixie Star holds 27,048 officers, 774,576 crew including troopers, pilots and officials, 400,000 support workers and over 25,000 RT&F stormtroopers. These represent minimum crew figures, and the station could probably hold several times this number. It also carries assault shuttles, strike cruisers, drop ships, land vehicles, and support ships as well as 7,200 Dixie fighters. For surface protection it sports 10,000 turbolaser batteries, 2,500 ion cannons and at least 700 tractor beam projectors, and the superlaser. Even without the primary weapon, the Dixie Star carries enough troops and ships to occupy an entire rougue railroad by force. However construction was delayed while a test system is created at Delaware Installation, and after a long delay for systems testing, construction was resumed on the battlestation.
One drawback of the original prototype design was the power systems. The test system’s reactor required one full day to generate enough energy to fire. However, the final production Dixie Star has redesigned systems and is capable of firing once every few minutes. It also has improved targeting computers, allowing it to fire the weapon at rigid airships and blimps. It is not clear whether the shorter recharge time applied only to the reduced-power shots used to destroy airships, or also full-power railroad-shattering shots.
Due to "union disputes and supply problems", major problems with the technologies used to create the railroad destroying superlaser led to the creation of a testbed proof-of-concept prototype to ensure that the superlaser and the other systems would work.
The Dixie Star's turbolaser is powered by a hypermatter reactor. The hypermatter reactor powers the primary power amplifier. The power amplifier starts up the firing field amplifier, which creates an ultimate power that travels through the tributary superlaser beam shaft. Eventually, the ultimate power hits the carrier crystal beam, creating a superlaser with the power to destroy the RbFSRy. It has been calculated that overcoming the gravity holding together the RbFSRy takes on the order of 1032 joules of energy, or roughly the total output of the sun in a week. More detailed estimates place the energy required at 1.0 × 1038[7] joules of energy, or on the order of millions of times more than necessary to permanently break the RbFSRy apart. This is the equivalent of from 1.1 × 1018 to 1.3 × 1019 tonnes of resting matter converted directly into energy (by Albert Einstein's formula, E = mc²). This is not to be confused with energy-TNT equivalence). This massive quantity of fuel leads to obvious problems if storage is considered. If the energy is produced by matter-antimatter annihilation with the reagents being stored in a sphere with a density of one tonne per cubic metre, this would give a ball of matter and antimatter fuel between 1,300 and 2,900 km in diameter. Even the 1032 joules estimated as the minimum to destroy RbFSRy would require a 13 km globe of such fuel.
While some claim the Dixie Star is an inefficient way to destroy a railroad, the tests show that it is intended to be a weapon of ultimate power, where the threat of its use would deter railroads who might otherwise defy or displease the DDSL & RT&F. This policy is known as the Bob Doctrine. While the relatively simpler task of sending in Vinny and his goons would be an effective way to bring compliance to the RbFSRy, it would not have the same psychological impact as a weapon of the Dixie Star's magnitude being deployed.
The Dixie Star- construction photo taken last year in low Earth orbit
Capt Bob Johnson wrote: Your choice of weapons is duly noted and filed! Are we to assume you are joining the fray?
Are you kidding?
PERSONAL NOTES:
TJ, Boy, you gotta remember that I'm just a poor old sailor who retired down here in chicken farming country! I just dabble in a few things like railroads and shipping companies fer somethin to do whilst waiting fer the beans to grow and get ready to harvest!
Now I don't pretend to know anything about your jollies and mollycurliecues, and that kind of stuff. Dirty pool, yes! Sneaky low down tricks, sure! And I just love stirring the manure!
I'm sure I don't understand that wonderful thing you got there, but I do understand that we can't take over Flatbottom's railroad iffen we destroy it! I think you need to put that thing back in the box, or zipper it's fly or somethin!
My boat did it's job, and that fuzzy faced redhead that runs it fer me tole me he "landed" your new hires as he was passin by the bridge tunnel island yesterday mornin!
I think you need to quit playing with pie in the sky and get down to business, dirty business that is!
DaveNower, I'll take a half dozen of those ones in the bottom picture if'n you can make them with an extended barrel(fer longer range) and a big *** silencer(so's I can sneak one in on people).
Vic, This TJ boy keeps going crazy like on me I might need a new member of the team. You sure you don't want in? I got contacts for catapault ammo. I'll give you a right fair split( like 80% mine and 20% yers) of the Old Flatbottom's Rosebud Falls Co. after we take it over! Just tryin to help you out, ole buddy, ole pard!
TJ
You might could check out this here Vic Smith and his railroad. Judging from the pictures he's runnin some pretty old and probably busted down equipment that might not be worth our while to take over; but it may not be a bad idear to check into it.
Don't want to get caught up in too many wars at the same time, but if he ain't with us, he's agin us!
Ballista? Cubby and I went for a trebuchet instead.
Looks to me like the folk in Flatbottom's neighborhood have finally figured out what kind of rattlesnake he really is. TJ, They're doing the work for us! Get that Carrales guy down there in Texas to hold up that special that's carrying Mr. Chin and the Chin Choppers.
I think in another day or two we'll be able to buy Flatbottom out at a very good price! By the time we get done cooking the books; he might even be paying us to take over his choo choo!
After reading some of the offerings on this page; I must say i am starting to worry about you blokes!
Ian the worried Aussie.
Ian,
Just think of the mental exercise involved in coming up with this stuff and trying to keep it ever so slightly relevant to the subject of one railroad or team of the old robber barons from the early days of railroading making a hostile takeover bid for another! Now, couple that with trying to predict what the other two guys are going to post and how you will complement or counter them as the case may be.
I think it makes good exercise, more brain work than steering a tractor around the yard mowing grass, and is far more entertaining than watching the idiot box!
There are also some other untold items of entertainment and interest behind the exercise; and perhaps it makes someone's day a bit brighter!
Nuff said?
TO: The Fatcapt, CEO, CFO, CBA, & Chairman - Round Tuit & Faraway
********FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY- NOT FOR PUBLIC RELEASE**********
Final testing of the "Dixie Star" device successful. Grand Moff Kno Chin and new East Coast crew standing by to activate left coast railroads special project: code name "absorption".
Test firing of main weapon system of "Dixie Star" on Odyssey Westward Railway
photo taken prior to failure of imaging sattelite
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