DIXIE D SHORT LINE
PUBLIC PRESS RELEASE
The Dixie D Short line would like to announce that the Dixie Star, the DDSL and RT&F peaceful research laboratory, medical center and pork sausage distillery is again fully operational following a minor accident in one of the research labs. The Dixie Star is well known for its many humanitarian enrichment research labs, schools for the underprivileged, and on station orphanages. The accident in the advanced power research development center was very minor and caused no injuries. A small amount of structural damage was sustained in the communications relay, causing a temporary loss of radio contact with the DDSL ground operators. We are aware of certain uniformed press releases coming from the West coast reporting the destruction of the Dixie Star, but they can be dismissed as nonsense. The Dixie Star is fully functional and the children are safe.
The Dixie D SL would like to express its heartfelt sympathy and compassion for the terrible events suffered by the peace loving people of the Democratic People’s Republic of the Odyssey Westward Railroad. Such senseless loss of human life is beyond comprehension and the DDSL/ RT&F stand ready to assist in any recovery efforts. As always our humanitarian mission remains first in our railroad.
Main communication beam during peaceful anti-violence testing.
happy orphans attend one of the Dixie Stars many on station schools for the poor
The Dixie D Short Line "Lux Lucet In Tenebris Nihil Igitur Mors Est Ad Nos 2001"
Capt Bob Johnson wrote: Now, this Smith guy is shaping up to be a formidable opponent; even though he’s trying to sit on the fence and pretend to be an uninvolved observer. Watch him. He came golly awful close with that Tabasco Sauce guess! Looks to me like he might have the smarts and the knowledge to figger out what you’re up to!
Now, this Smith guy is shaping up to be a formidable opponent; even though he’s trying to sit on the fence and pretend to be an uninvolved observer. Watch him. He came golly awful close with that Tabasco Sauce guess! Looks to me like he might have the smarts and the knowledge to figger out what you’re up to!
Look I really am neutral, I got enough troubles keeping the State Department and that loony guy with the afro who thinks he's the Korean Jesus off my back and out of my secret Kimche factory. I have no desire to compromise my lucrative business, its just that my girls in the factory happen to hear all the gossip when the shipment are sent they forward it all to me, they think of me like an uncle, a very affectionate uncle, but thats as far as that goes, at least on here! Just to prove my point, they just sent me this top secret footage of the fuel testing being done before the final test...it shows just how dangerous this stuff is!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FjeQ9mbwOs&mode=related&search
PS I cannot verify or deny if the labratory technition shown in the tape is or is not the CEO of the Dixie Shortline
Have fun with your trains
Personal Memo
FROM: Fatcapt
TO: Tangerine Jack
Text:
I have hired the Dinkerton Defective Detective Agency to delve into the goings on in Rosebud Falls and particularly concerning the RFSRyCo and have some startling news for you. This Pete guy who plays with his piccolo is really Old Doug Flatbottom’s brother in law! Flatbottom is up to something nefarious here! It looks like he’s suckered the whole town in on it!
Have the legal dept. on hand to check any paperwork that is to be signed BEFORE we somehow get snookered in this deal!
If we do indeed take over the operations of that deal I’d suggest we put that gal Legga Bloomer in charge of the operation. She has proven that she has the acumen to run a successful business and demonstrated that she can make the most of her assets! She’s gotta be pretty slick cause she surely keeps all those workers in her house happy and company minded!
We should consider making that Minie Sevenmugs the person in charge of hospitality! She has the attributes of leadership in that position!
That waste of space Eyegotta Star II can be totally discounted! He’s dumber than the walls in his jail! I’m told he’s gotta take off his shoes if he wants to count any number higher than 10! And they was dumb enough to put him in charge of the bank! Another of Flatbottom’s sneaky moves if you ask me!
I don’t care what happens with the newspaper, sell it to that Scoop guy; I hear he’d have trouble scooping up doggy do!
That guy up there in Chocolateland just didn’t get the message when we had the State boys close down his favorite camping place for his fishing trips! You might have to send Mr. Chin up there to let him know that he won’t ever go fishin’ if he don’t get in line and watch what he’s saying! How long do you think it would take him to crank a reel again if his fingers were to somehow get caught up in mama’s washing machine wringer?
I haven’t heard anything from that Carrales feller down there in Texas lately! Suppose he lost it when the Green Turkeys done beat his cowgirls??? They too dumb to know what kind of sabotage that TO was when we palmed him off on them!
Once you have digested all this, let me know what you think!
Thanks Tom
Still awaiting verification of the destruction of the Dixie Star. Apparently a Supertanker of Tabasco Sauce was shipped to French Guinea for delivery onto an Ariel rocket to the orbital construction site, it hasnt been seen since but hundreds of pick up trucks from the now apparently dead operations crew have reportedly been shipped to North Korea to be converted to the latest in frontline backwoods technical armor. My sources deep undercover in a top secret kimche factory sent me this page from the training manuals:
Tom Trigg
tangerine-jack wrote:
FROM: Tangerine-Jack
TO: Fatcap
Torby's holdings were determined to be of little value to our future railroad empire so a test firing of the Dixie Star's main negotiating device on his insignificant holdings was perfectly in order. Besides, he called me "wierd".
I have no intention of actually paying Mr. Flatbottom for the properties. Mr. Chin and company will be present at the signing over of the lease to ensure that the "gift" of his railroad to us is recieved legaly. From there we can subdivied the property to maximum profit potential. The unusable portions will be sold off to Mr. Chin's overseas business partners for future big-box store construction, while the rest will be reformed into the Western Branch RTF/DDSL.
Extension plans into the Los Angeles area are proceeding well. Ground work has been laid for phase II of Bob Doctrine plan "absorbtion". Operative "X" is in the LA area as we speak, while operative "Q" is enroute to Texas for recon.
RESPONSE
TEXT: Whadda you doin offering him $4 an acre? After all the damage you've done to his holdings Ole Flatbottoms entire empire ain't worth over $2.36 an acre! Heck, he could take that and, if he ain't tired of railroading, he can build hisself one of them thar G- Scale Garden Railroads to play with in his retirement!
Did I detect a note of sarcasm from our buddy up north there in Hersheyland? We gonna have to melt his chocolate??? I guess if he gets too outta line we'll just have to get his fishin' & crabbin' license revoked!
What did you hear about that Smith Guy out there in Califoorny? From what I hear, he's running some little one off stuff that is so old and clapped out that he requires 87 people in the repair shop to keep one or two running at a time! After the way his road is ever shrinking it's hardly worth our effort, I'd think!
Geez, Did you have to obliterate poor Torby??? The guy ain't had any track to run on in ages, then you go zapping him in some experiment! Talk about a loose cannon!
MEMO:
FROM: Mr. Tangerine Jack, Owner & Operator - Dixie D Short Line RR
The Fatcapt, CEO, CFO, CBA, & Chairman - Round Tuit & Faraway
TO: RbFSRy President Douglas Flatbottom
Private inter-railroad Message:
As you are no doubt aware, your railroad has suffered many unexplained and unfortunate events, cumulating the burning of the offices of your partners at Rosebud Falls Gazette. The DDSL and RT&F feel your pain and are quite confident these unprofitable circumstances could continue for some time. Therefore, we generously propose to purchase your struggling railroad for a magnanimous sum of $4.00 an acre. We highly suggest that you retire from the RbFSRy and find a nice beach in Borneo to live on with the money from the sale of your railroad. It would be disrespectful, and not very smart, to turn down this offer you can’t refuse.
You will soon receive a package containing a high powered telescope and instructions on its use. Use it wisely and understand that what you are seeing in geosynchronous orbit above your railroad is not a 3ft model or painted matte glass (honest!) but a fully functional negotiating device.
We hope for your sake that you will make the correct decision to sell your assets to us and live a long and comfortable life in retirement.
I'm glad i got a new pair of hip boots for fishing , it's getting a little deep here .
TO: The Fatcapt, CEO, CFO, CBA, & Chairman - Round Tuit & Faraway
Private inter-office Message:
********FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY- NOT FOR PUBLIC RELEASE**********
Final testing of the "Dixie Star" device successful. Grand Moff Kno Chin and new East Coast crew standing by to activate left coast railroads special project: code name "absorption".
Test firing of main weapon system of "Dixie Star" on Odyssey Westward Railway
photo taken prior to failure of imaging sattelite
Ian,
Just think of the mental exercise involved in coming up with this stuff and trying to keep it ever so slightly relevant to the subject of one railroad or team of the old robber barons from the early days of railroading making a hostile takeover bid for another! Now, couple that with trying to predict what the other two guys are going to post and how you will complement or counter them as the case may be.
I think it makes good exercise, more brain work than steering a tractor around the yard mowing grass, and is far more entertaining than watching the idiot box!
There are also some other untold items of entertainment and interest behind the exercise; and perhaps it makes someone's day a bit brighter!
Nuff said?
After reading some of the offerings on this page; I must say i am starting to worry about you blokes!
Ian the worried Aussie.
Looks to me like the folk in Flatbottom's neighborhood have finally figured out what kind of rattlesnake he really is. TJ, They're doing the work for us! Get that Carrales guy down there in Texas to hold up that special that's carrying Mr. Chin and the Chin Choppers.
I think in another day or two we'll be able to buy Flatbottom out at a very good price! By the time we get done cooking the books; he might even be paying us to take over his choo choo!
Ballista? Cubby and I went for a trebuchet instead.
TJ
You might could check out this here Vic Smith and his railroad. Judging from the pictures he's runnin some pretty old and probably busted down equipment that might not be worth our while to take over; but it may not be a bad idear to check into it.
Don't want to get caught up in too many wars at the same time, but if he ain't with us, he's agin us!
PERSONAL NOTES:
TJ, Boy, you gotta remember that I'm just a poor old sailor who retired down here in chicken farming country! I just dabble in a few things like railroads and shipping companies fer somethin to do whilst waiting fer the beans to grow and get ready to harvest!
Now I don't pretend to know anything about your jollies and mollycurliecues, and that kind of stuff. Dirty pool, yes! Sneaky low down tricks, sure! And I just love stirring the manure!
I'm sure I don't understand that wonderful thing you got there, but I do understand that we can't take over Flatbottom's railroad iffen we destroy it! I think you need to put that thing back in the box, or zipper it's fly or somethin!
My boat did it's job, and that fuzzy faced redhead that runs it fer me tole me he "landed" your new hires as he was passin by the bridge tunnel island yesterday mornin!
I think you need to quit playing with pie in the sky and get down to business, dirty business that is!
DaveNower, I'll take a half dozen of those ones in the bottom picture if'n you can make them with an extended barrel(fer longer range) and a big *** silencer(so's I can sneak one in on people).
Vic, This TJ boy keeps going crazy like on me I might need a new member of the team. You sure you don't want in? I got contacts for catapault ammo. I'll give you a right fair split( like 80% mine and 20% yers) of the Old Flatbottom's Rosebud Falls Co. after we take it over! Just tryin to help you out, ole buddy, ole pard!
Capt Bob Johnson wrote: Your choice of weapons is duly noted and filed! Are we to assume you are joining the fray?
Your choice of weapons is duly noted and filed! Are we to assume you are joining the fray?
Are you kidding?
TO: The Fatcap, CEO, CFO, CBA, & Chairman – Round Tuit & Faraway
Fatcap,
Enclosed is an official update on special project “RbFSRy B-gone”. In light of recent activities by Mr. Flatbottom I felt it in our best interest to accelerate work on what is now the ultimate power in the universe. By your command prompt, I will activate the primary weapon system and Mr. Flatbottom can witness the full power of this fully armed and operational battle station.
The Dixie D SL’s ultimate weapon, the “Dixie Star” is a mobile battle station that mounts a directed superlaser weapon capable of completely destroying the RbFSRy with a single shot. The Dixie Star holds 27,048 officers, 774,576 crew including troopers, pilots and officials, 400,000 support workers and over 25,000 RT&F stormtroopers. These represent minimum crew figures, and the station could probably hold several times this number. It also carries assault shuttles, strike cruisers, drop ships, land vehicles, and support ships as well as 7,200 Dixie fighters. For surface protection it sports 10,000 turbolaser batteries, 2,500 ion cannons and at least 700 tractor beam projectors, and the superlaser. Even without the primary weapon, the Dixie Star carries enough troops and ships to occupy an entire rougue railroad by force. However construction was delayed while a test system is created at Delaware Installation, and after a long delay for systems testing, construction was resumed on the battlestation.
One drawback of the original prototype design was the power systems. The test system’s reactor required one full day to generate enough energy to fire. However, the final production Dixie Star has redesigned systems and is capable of firing once every few minutes. It also has improved targeting computers, allowing it to fire the weapon at rigid airships and blimps. It is not clear whether the shorter recharge time applied only to the reduced-power shots used to destroy airships, or also full-power railroad-shattering shots.
Due to "union disputes and supply problems", major problems with the technologies used to create the railroad destroying superlaser led to the creation of a testbed proof-of-concept prototype to ensure that the superlaser and the other systems would work.
The Dixie Star's turbolaser is powered by a hypermatter reactor. The hypermatter reactor powers the primary power amplifier. The power amplifier starts up the firing field amplifier, which creates an ultimate power that travels through the tributary superlaser beam shaft. Eventually, the ultimate power hits the carrier crystal beam, creating a superlaser with the power to destroy the RbFSRy. It has been calculated that overcoming the gravity holding together the RbFSRy takes on the order of 1032 joules of energy, or roughly the total output of the sun in a week. More detailed estimates place the energy required at 1.0 × 1038[7] joules of energy, or on the order of millions of times more than necessary to permanently break the RbFSRy apart. This is the equivalent of from 1.1 × 1018 to 1.3 × 1019 tonnes of resting matter converted directly into energy (by Albert Einstein's formula, E = mc²). This is not to be confused with energy-TNT equivalence). This massive quantity of fuel leads to obvious problems if storage is considered. If the energy is produced by matter-antimatter annihilation with the reagents being stored in a sphere with a density of one tonne per cubic metre, this would give a ball of matter and antimatter fuel between 1,300 and 2,900 km in diameter. Even the 1032 joules estimated as the minimum to destroy RbFSRy would require a 13 km globe of such fuel.
While some claim the Dixie Star is an inefficient way to destroy a railroad, the tests show that it is intended to be a weapon of ultimate power, where the threat of its use would deter railroads who might otherwise defy or displease the DDSL & RT&F. This policy is known as the Bob Doctrine. While the relatively simpler task of sending in Vinny and his goons would be an effective way to bring compliance to the RbFSRy, it would not have the same psychological impact as a weapon of the Dixie Star's magnitude being deployed.
The Dixie Star- construction photo taken last year in low Earth orbit
Vic,
My experiance with that particular weapon (based on many years of ballista battles at Scout Camp, Scoutmasters vs Camp Staph{sp deliberate}) has proven that that can be an accurate lobber, and given some boost utilizing bungee cords or surgical tubing you can get unbelieveable range with it! We used water balloons for ammo, but I have known folks to use some downright nasty stuff to shoot from them!
You might also check out our local World Championship Punkin Chunkin held each fall here in Sussex County. They have teams come from ILL, Kansas, and last year there was one from Merry olde England! Word has it that there are 2 foreign teams entered this year! The original weapon in Punkin Chunkin was a catapault, then they got into all kinds of fancy motorized stuff, and wound up using air cannons!
the way this is going methinks one of youz will need one of deez...
FROM: The Fatcapt, CEO, CFO, CBA, & Chairman - Round Tuit & Faraway
TO: Mr. Tangerine Jack, Owner & Operator - Dixie D Short Line RR
Message:
Have you noticed that little ad in the classified section of the Rosebud Falls Gazette where old Flatbottom is soliciting bids on mulch for his reforestration project which is needed after his disastrous forest fire last year? (It'll take years for him to get the timber he needs for expanding his RR)
Why don't we go after that contract? We can hook up a unit train and send it down to the Bayous in Looseiana and load up with a mess of that stuff they ground up from Katrina debris; You Know, that stuff that's loaded with those Formosan Termites!
That ought to take care of any timber he's trying to grow without any further effort on our part, and he won't be able to point a finger at us cause we'll just come back with that age old adage of "Caveat Emptor"!!!
Is that a plan???
This is a continuation of the supposed takeover war from last year! TJ (Dixie D) & I ( Round Tuit and Faraway) were raiding Tom's ( Rosebud Falls). The verbiage got a bit out of hand and well into the science fiction stuff and we cooled it for a while! see private messg.
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