How to get your puchases of trains past your spouse

[fifedog]

laz57 - I pointed out an article to Mrs. fifedog that walking the entire show roughly covers 7 miles.  She kissed me goodbye and told me to have a good time...

[jimhaleyscomet]

I find it very hard to believe any spouse could object to "trains".  Usually the objection is just a sympton of what is really going on.  My wife does not object to the trains.  She does think I spend too much on trains.  But it is her baggage that hates to see anything not spent on a new car, music, the house, or personal maintenance. 

 So I never complain when she purchases a CD.   I, however, do not call attention to every purchase I make.  I wish it were not so, that she would support the purchases I make.  Still, what can you do except try your best to make things work.  

 I am not perfect, she is not perfect...but that does not mean I can not have a hobby or that she must agree (or approve) every purchase I make!

 Jim H

[laz 57]

WE go to YORK twice a year and she picks up my Christmas and BDAY gifts there.  We take the day off work and have a great day going through all the halls there.  Then go to a nice resturant and have a good meal.

laz57

[1688torpedo]

 I'm not married, So, this is not a problem for me. However, If I was married I would want a lady who enjoys Trains as much as I do & come to the Train shop to see what we're buying & do things together like this instead of marrying someone who has no interest in your Hobbies or the other way around. This would be the best deal of all. Take Care.

[darianj]

Don't have to...Once the bills are paid and some savings is put away, she spends her money her way, I spend my money my way.  Besides, she knows they keep me and my son out of trouble.

But if I had too.....
I would think walking around with a train case disguised as a tool box might be the way to go.

The question reminds me of a sign I saw in the LHS:
"My wife said she'll leave me if I buy on more train...
I'm going to miss her!"

[3railguy]

I m not married because Im only 13 but when my dad and I get a new train we sneak it past my mom by bringing it piece by peice in the house

 Good Grief! Your dad spends quality time with you playing trains and you have to hide it from mom? Where have family values gone?

[c50truck]

If you have to hide the fact you fact you bought a few items for your layout from your spouse, you either cannot budget money or have a bad marriage. I'm still a newlywed at 27+ years, won't be seasoned till I hit 30, but I've learned a few things along the way. Secrets are a dead end street, or a missing rail as the case may be.

FYI, My wife expects the trains running when the nephews come to visit, and so do they.

Rod L.

 

[Anonymous]

Jedi mind games usually work.

[Anonymous]

Alex,

If you are real into trains before you marry, find yourself a woman that is supportive like the lucky dogs that replied in this thread, and chances are you won't have to deal with the fine arts of deception.  In my case, I go seriously into trains after I got married, and as Lionroar has pointed out, dealing with ultimatums can have serious consequences.  How?  You really can lose half your empire!

Good Luck Kid

Stack

 

As Stack has pointed out I lost... and big time!  Not one of the prouder moments of my life, but at the time it was either suck it up and let her go scott free and deal with everything, or split the mess and pay her for the next 15+ years.  She is gone, I am happy, have a mess to deal with, a supportive wife, and I get to buy trains as I can afford them, or I get some for my birthday and Christmas gifts (and typically these are more than I would have spent if buying the items myself).

Alex,
Take it from us, deception is not a good thing in a marriage.  If your future wife were to find out, you definitely could loose half or more of your empire.

Good Luck and happy training!

[fifedog]

Jedi mind games usually work.

[Smoke Stack Lightnin']

Alex,

If you are real into trains before you marry, find yourself a woman that is supportive like the lucky dogs that replied in this thread, and chances are you won't have to deal with the fine arts of deception.  In my case, I go seriously into trains after I got married, and as Lionroar has pointed out, dealing with ultimatums can have serious consequences.  How?  You really can lose half your empire!

Good Luck Kid

Stack

 

[alexweiihman]

No it was me but when i get married these will help me out

[pbjwilson]

I m not married because Im only 13 but when my dad and I get a new train we sneak it past my mom by bringing it piece by peice in the house

Dude, whats the deal, you are only 13 and you come up with this question. Or maybe your dad put you up to it? LOL

[Anonymous]

hmmm As the wife I can tell you that when I first got into hosta gardening about five years ago that men simply do not understand the concept of spending 50-100 bucks on a plant. I figured if I could get it planted before the fun police gets home and it took a couple days for him to notice it then I could always say "that's been there"  Now he doesn't even bother to ask how much that weed was anymore. Maybe it works the same with trains.  You know the old don't ask, don't tell policy.  Besides if all else fails it IS his train I'm spending it on.

             Lisa

[Anonymous]

I don't try, she is very supportive of my hobby.

Besides if you do that it could result in a trip to divorce court where she could end up with half your empire.

 

Besides, 

 I buy her anything she wants ............................Tim

 

[tomikawaTT]

I don't even bother.

My wife and I have personal spending accounts separate from the main household finances.  An equal amount is deposited to each account each month, automatically.  She spends hers on golf, sewing materials and QVC purchases (mostly kitchen gear far in excess of any reasonable requirement - but it's her hobby and her money.)  I spend mine on trains, layout building materials; and tickets and travel to sporting events.  I don't audit hers, and she doesn't audit mine.

As far as hiding - no way!  I had to prove that I needed the entire 2-car garage.

Chuck (modeling Central Japan in September, 1964)

[alexweiihman]

I m not married because Im only 13 but when my dad and I get a new train we sneak it past my mom by bringing it piece by peice in the house

[traindaddy1]

Never even came into my mind. 35+ years and counting. The way I see it: This is 'only' a hobby and as a hobby, it should be enjoyed and shared. If you can't share with your spouse, then who? (Don't answer that-just kidding)

[Dave Farquhar]

My wife supports it, just from a matter of practicality. When I'm spending time and money on trains, she knows I'm not spending it on booze and other women. Most women I know have that attitude towards men's hobbies. She tells her mom, frequently, that if I'm not home, she knows I'm either at work, at one of the local hobby shops, or the hardware store.

If we were having trouble paying the bills, that would be another issue, of course. Since I tend to buy inexpensive stuff a few times a year, she has no problem with it. I probably spend about the same amount on trains as she spends on home decorating-type stuff.

[Buckeye Riveter]

I'll usually point up to the sky and say "look at the dead bird", then run down stairs with my package before she sees it. Then, when I come back upstairs, I smack her on the fanny and tell her she should know that dead birds don't fly!

Jim 

Jim, I'm disgusted that you seem to copy my tricks of the trade, time and time again!  Get your own bird!  LOL...another top ten posting and the year has just started.

[Anonymous]

I don't have to hide any purchases from my wife.  In fact, I base my train budget on my "stash" money.  It's a tupperware container on the counter in the kitchen where we place all our daily pocket change.  Once it's full, I take it to the bank and use the money at the next train show.

Of course, if I HAVE to have something and my stash won't cover it, I'm always able to cover the additional cost (within reason)

[Deputy]

I'll usually point up to the sky and say "look at the dead bird", then run down stairs with my package before she sees it. Then, when I come back upstairs, I smack her on the fanny and tell her she should know that dead birds don't fly!

Jim 

HA! I like that one!!!!

Dep

[3railguy]

I find N scale very easy to sneak in the house. 

These posts make me laugh.  I don't hide or get anything past my wife.  I'm a big boy now and I can manage money, take care of my family, and buy the trains I can afford.  What is so darn hard about that?  If the house needs something I decide that I won't buy a train and get the item for the house.

 If I was earning Marty's salary, I would not have to worry about blowing the family budget on trains.

[IRONROOSTER]

These posts make me laugh.  I don't hide or get anything past my wife.  I'm a big boy now and I can manage money, take care of my family, and buy the trains I can afford.  What is so darn hard about that?  If the house needs something I decide that I won't buy a train and get the item for the house.

Maybe you need a big hat to hide them under!  It works for Scott!  As for me it's right through the front door.  When I neglect my obligations only then can she try to tell me different.  BTW this policy goes both ways.

 

  Also it would be an insult for either one of US.  There are more important issues.

 

here too. 

What's funny is this past weekend I went to a train show.  There was a locomotive I wanted on sale, but I passed on it.  When I was telling my wife about the show, she said you should have bought it, you'll be kicking yourself later. So-o-o we went back and I bought it. 

She has her hobbies and I have mine, we both cut back the spending when we need to.  Works great.

Enjoy

Paul 

[Jumijo]

I'll usually point up to the sky and say "look at the dead bird", then run down stairs with my package before she sees it. Then, when I come back upstairs, I smack her on the fanny and tell her she should know that dead birds don't fly!

Jim 

[Deputy]

I'm beginning to wonder if the original question wasn't asked in jest. Perhaps people are taking the question a bit too seriously?

Dep

[cnw1995]

Emotions sure complicate matters, don't they? Residual guilt for whatever you've spent on your new purchase versus excitement and anticipation about opening the box and looking it over. I'm not in a season of life where I can spend 'a lot' on the hobby so I'm extra careful about how I budget for new items since I'm in charge of the bills - right now I am musing about a line maintenance car I saw in an antiques shop last week... and another Corgi trolley. With three kids, the arrival of any UPS or mailed package is a big deal - 'oh, it's another box for dad' - so there's no secrets here.

I have an acquaintence in another season of life who maintains a P.O. Box just for these circumstances.

[dbaker48]

These posts make me laugh.  I don't hide or get anything past my wife.  I'm a big boy now and I can manage money, take care of my family, and buy the trains I can afford.  What is so darn hard about that?  If the house needs something I decide that I won't buy a train and get the item for the house.

Maybe you need a big hat to hide them under!  It works for Scott!  As for me it's right through the front door.  When I neglect my obligations only then can she try to tell me different.  BTW this policy goes both ways.

 

  Also it would be an insult for either one of US.  There are more important issues.

[MartyE]

These posts make me laugh.  I don't hide or get anything past my wife.  I'm a big boy now and I can manage money, take care of my family, and buy the trains I can afford.  What is so darn hard about that?  If the house needs something I decide that I won't buy a train and get the item for the house.

Maybe you need a big hat to hide them under!  It works for Scott!  As for me it's right through the front door.  When I neglect my obligations only then can she try to tell me different.  BTW this policy goes both ways.

[Tom1947]

I do not have to hid my purchases of trains she told me it is your money and I can spend it anyway you want.  I am thinking about an American Flyer 336 Northern that is in like new condition currently.  I said something the other night about it and I got the above reply along with it is your decision to make.