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How to get your puchases of trains past your spouse

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Posted by palallin on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 10:10 PM
It would be right silly for me to hide them from her, unless I have bought something as a surprise present for her.  A fair portion of my hobby purchases are for her. 
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Posted by thatboy37 on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 9:08 PM

 ChiefEagles wrote:
Don't have to. 

Sign - Ditto [#ditto]

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Posted by ChiefEagles on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 8:50 PM
Don't have to. 

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Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 8:35 PM
Smoke Stack Lightnin'

That was how my ex-wife was.  We had an arguement once and I told her, 'I'll stop buying trains when you stop buying make-up, shoes, and clothes in every color.  Model Railroading is my hobby, I don't go to bars and liquor up, I don't go to strip clubs and oogle naked women, this hobby lets me incorporate every one of my life long loves, art, construction, architecture, research, trains, everything.  So if you want me to give it up you can forget it.'  We had a lot of problems and trains gave me a bit of an escape.  It wasn't long after this that we divorced and I was able to REALLY enjoy this hobby again.

I am now remarried to a woman that supports this hobby.  She is getting a bit jealous because I have been doing a lot of research again, but that happens mostly around Christmas and drops off quite a bit during the rest of the year.

My suggestion would be to explain to her why you love this hobby as much as you do.  Explain to her that she doesn't have to share your passion, but do not hold it against you that you do enjoy it.  You aren't attempting to replace her with trains, this is just something that gives you a little bit of pleasure, kind of like the euphoric rush she gets when she is walking through a mall.  Big Smile [:D]

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Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 8:26 PM

I try not to make any type of major purchase without my wife knowing...

How does that saying go...  Better to ask for permission than to ask for forgiveness OR is that the other way around?Angel [angel]

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Posted by Smoke Stack Lightnin' on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 8:19 PM

I've seen this or similar questions on forums and am amazed at the overwhelming majority of supportive wives.  My wife hates the hobby, hates trains, even hates me watching train videos.  I'm sure there must be some wives/significant others out here that are non-supportive.  I can relate to Alex's question.  I am guilty of quickly unpackaging and blending stuff in.  Call me a wimp, but I've been married 40 years to the same woman, love my wife, can afford what I purchase, but simply don't want to endure adding fuel to the fire.  Alex- If you aren't hurting your finances or causing harm otherwise, you just got to learn not to burn, and always have an explaination ready.  You don't have to lie, but you don't have to volunteer the entire truth!  Stores always have sales, maybe not on trains, but hey... 

Good Luck 

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Posted by Frank53 on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 7:23 PM

Likewise. My wife really enjoys the project. Peeking around the layout to see what progress I made in the middle of the previous night is one of the first things she does in the morning. She's been threatening to start making building the trees for a while now, but her health is so bad, she hasn't had the energy.

I have a limited number of actual train purchases in my future, as there are only so many post war engines in which I have interest. At some point in this adventure, I'll pick up a 746, a post War FM Trainmaster - probably of the Lackawanna variety, a set of 2242 New Havens, and 209 New Havens.

I still have my eye on a few post war passenger sets, and am always on the lookout for New York Central, Pennsylvania and New Haven rolling stock. Beyond those, I don't see myself buying many trains.

My wife has poured over the David Doyle book picking out stuff she likes that she thinks would be "cool" on the layout, and couldn't be more supportive.

as an aisde, this thread is getting quite a different set of responses here than where it usually appears.

Jonadel - you owe me a new monitor - I just spit coffee all over mine

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Posted by okiechoochoo on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 6:10 PM
My wife knows about every purchase BEFORE I buy it.  I don't think hiding things in marriages is a healthy thing to do.

All Lionel all the time.

Okiechoochoo

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Posted by daan on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 5:51 PM
 dougdagrump wrote:

I don't try, she is very supportive of my hobby.

Besides if you do that it could result in a trip to divorce court where she could end up with half your empire. Smile,Wink, & Grin [swg]

Sign - With Stupid [#wstupid] I had a free ticket to a new locomotive for my birthdayBow [bow] (but within financial limits of course) and just ordered a brandnew Lionel Berkshire with railsound.. Besides that, the trains have given us a few very nice friends the past few years!

Daan. I'm Dutch, but only by country...
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Posted by dwiemer on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 5:37 PM
 otftch wrote:

I don't try to hide my purchases.My wife totally supports my trains AND my model airplanes.Like she says "it keeps me out of Bars".It was also nice as the kids were growing up,to be there if I was needed and my kids know more about trains and airplanes than most.Both of my boys taught aircraft recognition in the services.

                                                            Ed

Ed, mine has said the same thing.  It keeps me occupied and she knows where I am at.  She also supports it as the kids have learned a lot and it keeps us all playing together as a family.

Dennis

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Posted by jonadel on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 5:04 PM

I was not going to involved in this question as it's been beat to death on another forum but I do have one question?

 Allan, are you married?

Jon

So many roads, so little time. 

 

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Posted by otftch on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 4:52 PM

I don't try to hide my purchases.My wife totally supports my trains AND my model airplanes.Like she says "it keeps me out of Bars".It was also nice as the kids were growing up,to be there if I was needed and my kids know more about trains and airplanes than most.Both of my boys taught aircraft recognition in the services.

                                                            Ed

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Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 4:51 PM

If you have to sneak things past your spouse, or otherwise disguise what you've bought, you're in the wrong marriage for a good number of reasons. But that should come as no surprise, given the casual way marriage is often treated in our society these days.

 It also signifies that you're a big whimp! Smile [:)]

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Posted by spankybird on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 4:42 PM

Smile,Wink, & Grin [swg]Every train engine cost me two dolls. As of now, she is up 3 engines.

 

 

I am a person with a very active inner child. This is why my wife loves me so. Willoughby, Ohio - the home of the CP & E RR. OTTS Founder www.spankybird.shutterfly.com 

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Posted by Deputy on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 3:47 PM

ALL my purchases come via US Mail (pick up at Post Office) or UPS. My wife works so she's never home when they arrive. But I keep all my train stuff in her computer room. So she is aware of everything I have. She has no complaints and I love her for that. Smile [:)]

Dep 

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Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 3:08 PM
 johnandjulie13 wrote:

I routinely check all of our credit card charges on-line.  Given the large amount of Christmas related purchases, I was reviewing the charges this morning.  I came across a charge from Valley Farms for over $700.00 and I was seething as I thought, "Geez!  Now what did my wife waste money on?"  So, I called her up and asked her what the charge was for.  To which she responded "Don't you remember?  Valley Farms is the hobby store you purchased those PRR diesel engines from since none of the local stores still had them."  I sheepishly replied, "Thanks, Sweetie, I have to get back to work now."

Heaven forbid if I was trying to hide that purchase from her!

Regards,

John O

LOL!!!!! Now THAT is a classic!

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Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 3:07 PM
LOL!  Most of my purchases are supported.  Only rarely do I not tell her about them... my latest being one such purchase.  Once she sees it in action she will approve, so I'm not worried. Whistling [:-^]
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Posted by johnandjulie13 on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 3:07 PM

I routinely check all of our credit card charges on-line.  Given the large amount of Christmas related purchases, I was reviewing the charges this morning.  I came across a charge from Valley Farms for over $700.00 and I was seething as I thought, "Geez!  Now what did my wife waste money on?"  So, I called her up and asked her what the charge was for.  To which she responded "Don't you remember?  Valley Farms is the hobby store you purchased those PRR diesel engines from since none of the local stores still had them."  I sheepishly replied, "Thanks, Sweetie, I have to get back to work now."

Heaven forbid if I was trying to hide that purchase from her!

Regards,

John O

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Posted by dougdagrump on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 2:50 PM

I don't try, she is very supportive of my hobby.

Besides if you do that it could result in a trip to divorce court where she could end up with half your empire. Smile,Wink, & Grin [swg]

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How to get your puchases of trains past your spouse
Posted by alexweiihman on Tuesday, January 2, 2007 2:37 PM
How do you get your puchases of trains past your spouse
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