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How to get your puchases of trains past your spouse

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Posted by Buckeye Riveter on Wednesday, January 3, 2007 2:12 PM
 jaabat wrote:

I'll usually point up to the sky and say "look at the dead bird", then run down stairs with my package before she sees it. Then, when I come back upstairs, I smack her on the fanny and tell her she should know that dead birds don't fly!

Jim 

Jim, I'm disgusted that you seem to copy my tricks of the trade, time and time again!  Get your own bird!  Laugh [(-D] LOL...another top ten posting and the year has just started.

Celebrating 18 years on the CTT Forum. Smile, Wink & Grin

Buckeye Riveter......... OTTS Charter Member, a Roseyville Raider and a member of the CTT Forum since 2004..

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Posted by Dave Farquhar on Wednesday, January 3, 2007 2:18 PM

My wife supports it, just from a matter of practicality. When I'm spending time and money on trains, she knows I'm not spending it on booze and other women. Most women I know have that attitude towards men's hobbies. She tells her mom, frequently, that if I'm not home, she knows I'm either at work, at one of the local hobby shops, or the hardware store.

If we were having trouble paying the bills, that would be another issue, of course. Since I tend to buy inexpensive stuff a few times a year, she has no problem with it. I probably spend about the same amount on trains as she spends on home decorating-type stuff.

Dave Farquhar http://dfarq.homeip.net
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Posted by traindaddy1 on Wednesday, January 3, 2007 2:30 PM

Never even came into my mind. 35+ years and counting. The way I see it: This is 'only' a hobby and as a hobby, it should be enjoyed and shared. If you can't share with your spouse, then who? (Don't answer that-just kidding)

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Posted by alexweiihman on Wednesday, January 3, 2007 3:38 PM
I m not married because Im only 13 but when my dad and I get a new train we sneak it past my mom by bringing it piece by peice in the house
K-Line The Difference is in the Details
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Posted by tomikawaTT on Wednesday, January 3, 2007 5:50 PM

I don't even bother.

My wife and I have personal spending accounts separate from the main household finances.  An equal amount is deposited to each account each month, automatically.  She spends hers on golf, sewing materials and QVC purchases (mostly kitchen gear far in excess of any reasonable requirement - but it's her hobby and her money.)  I spend mine on trains, layout building materials; and tickets and travel to sporting events.  I don't audit hers, and she doesn't audit mine.

As far as hiding - no way!  I had to prove that I needed the entire 2-car garage.

Chuck (modeling Central Japan in September, 1964)

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Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, January 3, 2007 6:09 PM
 dougdagrump wrote:

I don't try, she is very supportive of my hobby.

Besides if you do that it could result in a trip to divorce court where she could end up with half your empire. Smile,Wink, & Grin [swg]

 

Besides, Sign - Ditto [#ditto]

 I buy her anything she wants ............................Tim

 

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Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, January 3, 2007 6:50 PM

hmmm As the wife I can tell you that when I first got into hosta gardening about five years ago that men simply do not understand the concept of spending 50-100 bucks on a plant. I figured if I could get it planted before the fun police gets home and it took a couple days for him to notice it then I could always say "that's been there"  Now he doesn't even bother to ask how much that weed was anymore. Maybe it works the same with trains.  You know the old don't ask, don't tell policy.  Besides if all else fails it IS his train I'm spending it on.

             Lisa

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Posted by pbjwilson on Wednesday, January 3, 2007 6:51 PM

 alexweiihman wrote:
I m not married because Im only 13 but when my dad and I get a new train we sneak it past my mom by bringing it piece by peice in the house

Dude, whats the deal, you are only 13 and you come up with this question. Or maybe your dad put you up to it? LOL Big Smile [:D]

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Posted by alexweiihman on Wednesday, January 3, 2007 6:56 PM
No it was me but when i get married these will help me out
K-Line The Difference is in the Details
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Posted by Smoke Stack Lightnin' on Wednesday, January 3, 2007 7:43 PM

Alex,

If you are real into trains before you marry, find yourself a woman that is supportive like the lucky dogs that replied in this thread, and chances are you won't have to deal with the fine arts of deception.  In my case, I go seriously into trains after I got married, and as Lionroar has pointed out, dealing with ultimatums can have serious consequences.  How?  You really can lose half your empire!

Good Luck KidSmile [:)]

Stack

 

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Posted by fifedog on Wednesday, January 3, 2007 7:59 PM
Jedi mind games usually work.
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Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, January 3, 2007 8:03 PM
 Smoke Stack Lightnin wrote:

Alex,

If you are real into trains before you marry, find yourself a woman that is supportive like the lucky dogs that replied in this thread, and chances are you won't have to deal with the fine arts of deception.  In my case, I go seriously into trains after I got married, and as Lionroar has pointed out, dealing with ultimatums can have serious consequences.  How?  You really can lose half your empire!

Good Luck KidSmile [:)]

Stack

 



As Stack has pointed out I lost... and big time!  Not one of the prouder moments of my life, but at the time it was either suck it up and let her go scott free and deal with everything, or split the mess and pay her for the next 15+ years.  She is gone, I am happy, have a mess to deal with, a supportive wife, and I get to buy trains as I can afford them, or I get some for my birthday and Christmas gifts (and typically these are more than I would have spent if buying the items myself).

Alex,
Take it from us, deception is not a good thing in a marriage.  If your future wife were to find out, you definitely could loose half or more of your empire.

Good Luck and happy training!
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Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, January 3, 2007 8:04 PM

 fifedog wrote:
Jedi mind games usually work.

Mischief [:-,]Whistling [:-^]Sign - Dots [#dots]

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Posted by c50truck on Wednesday, January 3, 2007 9:17 PM

If you have to hide the fact you fact you bought a few items for your layout from your spouse, you either cannot budget money or have a bad marriage. I'm still a newlywed at 27+ years, won't be seasoned till I hit 30, but I've learned a few things along the way. Secrets are a dead end street, or a missing rail as the case may be.

FYI, My wife expects the trains running when the nephews come to visit, and so do they.

Rod L.

 

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Posted by 3railguy on Wednesday, January 3, 2007 10:07 PM

 alexweiihman wrote:
I m not married because Im only 13 but when my dad and I get a new train we sneak it past my mom by bringing it piece by peice in the house

 Good Grief! Your dad spends quality time with you playing trains and you have to hide it from mom? Where have family values gone?

John Long Give me Magnetraction or give me Death.
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Posted by darianj on Wednesday, January 3, 2007 10:40 PM

Don't have to...Once the bills are paid and some savings is put away, she spends her money her way, I spend my money my way.  Besides, she knows they keep me and my son out of trouble.

But if I had too.....
I would think walking around with a train case disguised as a tool box might be the way to go.

The question reminds me of a sign I saw in the LHS:
"My wife said she'll leave me if I buy on more train...
I'm going to miss her!"

There's light at the end of the tunnel.... It's a Train! http://www.tmbmodeltrainclub.com
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Posted by 1688torpedo on Thursday, January 4, 2007 9:00 AM
 I'm not married, So, this is not a problem for me. However, If I was married I would want a lady who enjoys Trains as much as I do & come to the Train shop to see what we're buying & do things together like this instead of marrying someone who has no interest in your Hobbies or the other way around. This would be the best deal of all. Take Care.
Keith Woodworth........Seat Belts save lives,Please drive safely.
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Posted by laz 57 on Thursday, January 4, 2007 9:24 AM

WE go to YORK twice a year and she picks up my Christmas and BDAY gifts there.  We take the day off work and have a great day going through all the halls there.  Then go to a nice resturant and have a good meal.

laz57

  There's a race of men that don't fit in, A race that can't stay still; Robert Service. TCA 03-55991
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Posted by jimhaleyscomet on Thursday, January 4, 2007 11:05 AM

I find it very hard to believe any spouse could object to "trains".  Usually the objection is just a sympton of what is really going on.  My wife does not object to the trains.  She does think I spend too much on trains.  But it is her baggage that hates to see anything not spent on a new car, music, the house, or personal maintenance. 

 So I never complain when she purchases a CD.   I, however, do not call attention to every purchase I make.  I wish it were not so, that she would support the purchases I make.  Still, what can you do except try your best to make things work.  

 I am not perfect, she is not perfect...but that does not mean I can not have a hobby or that she must agree (or approve) every purchase I make!

 Jim H

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Posted by fifedog on Thursday, January 4, 2007 11:06 AM
laz57 - I pointed out an article to Mrs. fifedog that walking the entire show roughly covers 7 miles.  She kissed me goodbye and told me to have a good time...Kisses [:X]
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Posted by laz 57 on Thursday, January 4, 2007 11:14 AM

FIFEDOG,

   Works up an appetite, steak and beer.

laz57

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Posted by fifedog on Thursday, January 4, 2007 11:39 AM
laz57 - ok, ok, April, I'll supply the handtruck, YOU shuttle Mrs. fifedog around, I'll buy the beer. Deal?
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Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, January 4, 2007 12:23 PM
 fifedog wrote:
laz57 - ok, ok, April, I'll supply the handtruck, YOU shuttle Mrs. fifedog around, I'll buy the beer. Deal?


One of these days I would like to be able to get into York! Sigh [sigh]

You have to be a member of TCA, correct?

Wife has been bugging me to find out how to become a member... I showed her the form and told her I have to build a respectable reputation with some members before I can join... her response... 'Oh.  Then I guess you're out!' Black Eye [B)]

Gotta love women with a sense of humor!
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Posted by Warburton on Thursday, January 4, 2007 4:32 PM

Smoke Stack -- I am with you! My wife hates trains and makes no bones about it. She used tell people "trains ruined my life." She was also in severe depression unbeknownst to us for a number of years. She was a miserable "rhymes with witch" on a number of other levels, too, believe me. Now that she take her meds, she is much, much better. Depression runs in her family; her mother was a terrible case. My wife still doesn't like trains by any means, but we decide on a budget for me each year to spend on them and as long as I stay reasonably close to it, she will now tolerate my hobby. I think that "trains" are sometimes just a visible totem for other, deeper problems. I have always been easy about her purchases of whatever.

 As for the original question (hiding them from the wife), try having them delivered by UPS to where you work (no UPS truck in front of your house). Then, hide them under junk in your car trunk, smuggle them into a dark corner of the garage under some old boxes, etc., when she's not looking, and into the house when she goes out. ONLY IF you can't just be honest about it!! If I had it to do over again, I'd do what I do now and have a lot less unpleasantness.

And, yes, I love my wife of 35 years very much anyway. Had to -- I stuck it out with her thru some nasty times!

P.S. It was kinda funny...back in the 90s, she used to go to trains shows with me to help sell trains (I'd have a table or two), and she'd tell folks, "I HATE TRAINS! Please help me get rid of them here!" It sometimes worked, and always set guys heads to scratching as they walked by.

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Posted by Smoke Stack Lightnin' on Thursday, January 4, 2007 6:53 PM

Warburton- You are right.  I don't think my wife actually hates trains or the hobby.  She hates em cause I like em!  She also is to be on meds but won't take them.  She is an emotional roller coaster.  I think (hope) it will all work out someday.  I guess only the guys that love trains and also love a woman that loves to hate trains to hurt the guy that loves trains can only relate to this voodoo.  If you ever hear news of a man that had to have a full scale Hudson surgically removed- that man will probably be me.  It really has nothing to do with money management or being afraid of a woman.  It has everything to do with loving both, and not wanting to hurt or do without either.  A typical bad situation.

Stay positive! 

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Posted by underworld on Thursday, January 4, 2007 7:07 PM

Quite easy.....I'm not married! My girlfriend knows that complaining won't get her anywhere!!!

 

underworldBig Smile [:D]Big Smile [:D]Big Smile [:D]Big Smile [:D]Big Smile [:D]

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Posted by tbwilson4 on Thursday, January 4, 2007 7:19 PM
Sneakyness is half the fun! I have an arrangement with a fellow railfan down the street. My packages are delivered to him, and his packages are delivered to me. When my package needs to make the trip from the car to the basement, my wife sees me taking out the garbage can from the basement, hears me dumping it into larger can in garage, & then watches me return the "empty"  can to the basement! Taa-Daa!  Actually, she pretends not to notice my additions, just like I dont notice all the clothes & shoes that have "always been there"! 
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Posted by underworld on Thursday, January 4, 2007 7:39 PM

tbwilson4 That's a pretty good trick!!!

 

underworld

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Posted by Warburton on Thursday, January 4, 2007 7:57 PM

One more good trick...find a local or reasonably close train dealer and make arrangements to have him give you "dummy" receipts for your train purchases. That is, say a boxcar costs $40. You pay the $40 but get a fake receipt showing a $20 purchase to show your wife.

Now, this only works if the big problem isn't just bring home trains but rather how many $$ you spend on them. By using this method, you can effectively "double" your purchases. Unless she is really up on train pricing, she'll never know the difference. Also, I've found that dealers will offer this, er, "service" to good customers if asked. After all, they want you to keep buying from them! Be careful about charge purchases, though, if your wife may see the statements. Best to buy with cash only!

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Posted by tbwilson4 on Thursday, January 4, 2007 8:05 PM
Another good way of getting packages past the wife-shield is in plain sight.(this only works if your wife knows nothing about trains,so proceed at your own risk) If she knows I am going to a train show, I always bring an empty box or two from a caboose or boxcar I purchased years earlier with the $35 dollar price marked on a bright yellow tag, slide my Lionmaster Challenger & tender into the boxes, and proudly present my fantastic buys! Great fun!

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