Offensive signatures

[Anonymous]

You mean it is wrong to pass gas?  Oh man, this isn't good........

The beauty about the escalators at the shopping malls is, that the warm air in question seems to stratify, into one level, and then just hang there.

So,if you are  very quick, you can pick your location and then hustle to the top, do a  quick 180,  and  elbow up on the nearby handrail , then watch the expressions on peoples faces as the  escalator lifts them up into the cloud of doom. Remember to smile and nod friendly like for any that make eye contact with you. The whole world loves a warm smile.

[Anonymous]

I may be a sick SOB, but I'm far from alone

[tree68]

I may be a sick SOB, but I'm far from alone

Ok, that takes care of one of the people on my Christmas gift list.....

[Anonymous]

Ok, that takes care of one of the people on my Christmas gift list.....

Pull (click on) my finger

[gabe]

I see Microsoft in a more positive light day-by-day.

Gabe

[Anonymous]

All things considered, I am SO crushed.

[gabe]

All things considered, I am SO crushed.

I thought you might be.

[Poppa_Zit]

Ok, that takes care of one of the people on my Christmas gift list.....

Pull (click on) my finger

This may just be the greatest website I've ever seen. Brings tears to my eyes...

[CNW 6000]

And as far as your speculating that I myself am not a fan of total freedom either, well of course you are right. I think that when those crazy Jehova's witnesses come hammering on my door at ten AM, I should be allowed to give them the iron boot to help them on their way out. The courts say I can't expect to have things quite that far my way, really bummer.

What I've found best is to 'happen to be cleaning' one of my firearms and come to the door holding it.  They usually turn and leave quite rapidly on their own! 

[Anonymous]

What I've found best is to 'happen to be cleaning' one of my firearms and come to the door holding it.  They usually turn and leave quite rapidly on their own! 

LOL!! I'll have to give that a try.

[Mookie]

I can see you have all been very busy while I was gone for the weekend. 

Gates - we agree on many things - especially the victim part.  And we agree on manners - and I am not that far from agreeing with most of the posters. 

A group of friends - a get together - and there may be rude and crude behavior.  I don't have a problem with that.  They are all in on it. 

I was speaking of total strangers and bad manners.  But it also goes to what right does the young man/lady next to me in a car have to play their stereo so loud it rattles windows, next to my right to keep my hearing in tact.  We live on a busy street and just last nite, with all the windows close, central air and a fan on, someone peeled the wallpaper with their stereo. 

And I will tie this in with trains - the lady that is advocating trains be rerouted, moved and quieted (railroad was probably there first) is wondering why trains have to make so much noise at a crossing that is gated and signaled.  There - for you tight-jawed individuals that think you can't have a conversation w/o mentioning trains. 

 

 

[Anonymous]

Mook,

You and I agree on a lot more than you realize, for the most part I've just been having fun with this thread.

There are far too many people in this world who derive pleasure from being rude, beligerant, and abusive to all who's path they cross.

At the same time, I also believe our society has far far too many hangups (that "OH dear, what will people think?" fear that almost paralyzes some folks)
I guess with all of life, there is an importance for balance.

I actually enjoy performing little acts of politeness for total strangers, holding doors  for the people entering a building right behind me, opening doors for folks with their hands full, etc....and just that appreciative look in their eyes, sometimes a nod to go with it, and even a thank you at some points, make it all worth while.

Then,there are the jerks who act like you owed what ever act of kindness to them, almost looking down their noses at whatever fool wasted his time with kindness.

Those are the folks I really enjoy riding the escalators in front of.

"Balance" being so ever important. 

[Mookie]

Mook,

You and I agree on a lot more than you realize, for the most part I've just been having fun with this thread.

There are far too many people in this world who derive pleasure from being rude, beligerant, and abusive to all who's path they cross.

At the same time, I also believe our society has far far too many hangups (that "OH dear, what will people think?" fear that almost paralyzes some folks)
I guess with all of life, there is an importance for balance.

I actually enjoy performing little acts of politeness for total strangers, holding doors  for the people entering a building right behind me, opening doors for folks with their hands full, etc....and just that appreciative look in their eyes, sometimes a nod to go with it, and even a thank you at some points, make it all worth while.

Then,there are the jerks who act like you owed what ever act of kindness to them, almost looking down their noses at whatever fool wasted his time with kindness.

Those are the folks I really enjoy riding the escalators in front of.

"Balance" being so ever important. 

In this case and only in this case - I defer to your escalator policy.  Happy riding! 

[vsmith]

I may be a sick SOB, but I'm far from alone

Ok, that takes care of one of the people on my Christmas gift list.....

[Anonymous]

[chad thomas]

[BigJim]

"You can't spell '@$%# up' without u p."

Actually WP3020, you got this one all wrong. It should read;

You can't spell  STUPID without the 'UP'.

So you see, there was no need for all of the symbols that no one can pronounce.

[Mookie]

"You can't spell '@$%# up' without u p."

Actually WP3020, you got this one all wrong. It should read;

You can't spell  STUPID without the 'UP'.

So you see, there was no need for all of the symbols that no one can pronounce.

Finally!  Where have you been for the last several days!  We needed you back last week!

Great.  Now I can go look for other mischief.

Mook!

[solzrules]

Ok, that takes care of one of the people on my Christmas gift list.....

Pull (click on) my finger

AG:

That has to be one of the most amazing websites I have ever seen. 

I must now go and change my pants.

I haven't laughed that hard since Spongebob the Movie came out. 

[Anonymous]

Appears that this thread has surely been hijacked so I can't hurt it too much.

My favorite father-in-law, unfortunately ex and dearly departed, advised me that should I be guilty of letting loose an auditory or malodorous gaseous indiscretion, I should turn to another elevator companion, hopefully a comely one, and mutter in a loud 'whisper', "Look at me, Miss, they'll think I dunnit".

Never had the nerve and, fortunately, never had the occasion.

Art, the ---- well, never mind.

[Poppa_Zit]

An elderly, white-haired couple was sitting in a crowded church one Sunday morning. During a quiet time during the service, the woman leaned over to her husband and whispered "I just passed silent gas."

About two minutes later, she leaned over again and said "I just passed silent gas again. Must be that breakfast burrito I ate."

About two minutes later, she leaned over and before she could speak, her husband said "You know what you need to do as soon as we go home?"

"Go to the bathroom?" she replied.

"No," said her husband. "Put new batteries in your hearing aid."

 

 

[acelachaser]

I could get into a big speech about what I think of this PC Friendly , Kinder, Gentler Nation of ours but I wont. I grew up around black kids, crippled kids and  retarded kids, some were very good friends and would give you the shirt off their back. I had a teacher that gave us a laugh with "I'm not short I'm Vertically Challenged".

theres a time and place for everything, and every situation has its own solution.

 I'm not offended by the signature quotes, I'm a truck driver and married to a "Navy brat". It takes a lot to offend me. I'm for the 1st Amendment, but I have to say the Forum may not be the best place for all those quotes. 

However, without the colorful comments and signatures of the posters, these forums would not be as interesting.

" if you get rid of the gooks, then you've got to get rid of the geeks, the spics, the kikes and the dikes and all you'd have is a couple of brain-dead rednecks. And what kind of fun would that be?" Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam

[edblysard]

Yeah, but there are a lot of good uses for brain dead rednecks…pick up truck manufactures use them as real time crash test dummies, beer brewers use them as toxicity test subjects, (how much Miller Lite can you put in a redneck before he drops dead from alcohol poisoning?) and most rural southern police forces use them as full time employees…

I mean, you just gotta love a group of guys who use Deep Woods off as underarm deodorant and go to family reunions looking to score….

 

Ed

[acelachaser]

Yeah, but there are a lot of good uses for brain dead rednecks…pick up truck manufactures use them as real time crash test dummies, beer brewers use them as toxicity test subjects, (how much Miller Lite can you put in a redneck before he drops dead from alcohol poisoning?) and most rural southern police forces use them as full time employees…

I mean, you just gotta love a group of guys who use Deep Woods off as underarm deodorant and go to family reunions looking to score….

 

Ed

" If your family tree does NOT fork..." "LOL I don't care who you are, that's funny right there. Git R Done."

[Anonymous]

AG:

That has to be one of the most amazing websites I have ever seen. 

I must now go and change my pants.

I haven't laughed that hard since Spongebob the Movie came out. 

Probably not everyone shares your high level of enthusiasm,  but hey, that's their loss, right?

[TimChgo9]

You know... I love some of the signatures... I really do... Offend me?? Hardly.. after 15 or more years in Public Safety... it takes alot to offend me....  Plus, I have a really, really, good (if not warped) sense of humor. 

All I want to know is:  What the heck is CINCSCOCOM??????

 

[CrazyDelmar]

You know... I love some of the signatures... I really do... Offend me?? Hardly.. after 15 or more years in Public Safety... it takes alot to offend me....  Plus, I have a really, really, good (if not warped) sense of humor. 

All I want to know is:  What the heck is CINCSCOCOM??????

 

I've wondered what that ment myself....

[Anonymous]

I really think that Rush Limbaugh said it best.
Part of the responsibility of living in a free society, entails having the maturity to NOT be offended everytime something not quite to your liking comes down.

I think that all too often, people pretend to be "offended" simply as a tool intended to silence opposed opinion.

"Oh, I prefer red rollerskates, therefore any discussion of blue rollerskates.....offends me". (etc)  Simply because I'd rather not think that the proponents of blue rollerskates might ever find concensus, so, I'm just going to pitch a prissy fit, and claim their talking their line "offends" me. And if that doesn't work, I'm gonna start a fight with them, andappeal to authority that THEY (the rabblerousing blues)  are the trouble makers.etc.

Same way with those who make mention of Bush's bad points (or Clinton's) the folks who happen to think highly of those guys simply can't stand to hear the WHOLE truth, they just want to dwell  in fantasyland on the points they are happy with, and resultingly single out as trouble makers any who might paint their hero in a different light.

If people are offended by the truth, who's fault is that, really?

[CNW 6000]

All I want to know is:  What the heck is CINCSCOCOM??????

Commander IN Chief-SCOundrel COMmand.  It's a running joke between some on this forum.  I hear we also have a special permit to take photos of UP trains at UP stations....

[TimChgo9]

Ah, Okay... I figgered it was Commander in Chief of something.....   I love it..