Ask Mrs. Mookie

[Mookie]

Think about it....

[upchuck]

Happy wife, happy life...is this so?

[Mookie]

Will answer this as a group case - don't want to run up whatever my posting number is - might win a new bath mat or something!

In order, mostly - attend no reunions. All you do is eat, lie and slobber on each other!

Trains don't stop at crossings. They either block them or the cars stop/hesitate.

Become a conductor/engineer - railroad police would never think to look for you there.

Never live in a duplex - neighbors become family! Be a good neighbor - sell their house for them!

You could try suing Amtrak, but my advice would be to stay out of Houston - bad dudes live there.

Move to Wyoming - no rif-raf there. Not even any rif....

Oh Goody - early turkey at Applebees! So noted. Only thing saving your tailfeathers is the black and white boys and one nice hen! I could sell tickets to observe the sparring! Y'all come!

Hire a maid or buy a doggie apron. See Dr Phil for other symptoms!

Uh - SD70 please.

Told you to vote wisely!!

Common sense is like hair - either you have it or you don't.

See someone here has really common sense - (make that a big chocolate cake!)

Sue your parents - end product not good! Put your kids up for adoption to a good home!

Make Boo Boo the designated driver.

You've never been to Omaha/Lincoln have you?

Trains don't smell. They don't even sniff. Maybe you should change cologne and get a new singles web-site.

Mr. B from Houston is survived by a wife and a whole flock of young ladies, who each now have more bathroom time.

Hopefully that covers all that nonsen....your wonderful, thoughtful questions!

Mrs. Mookie

[Soo2610]

NIce goin Ed! Looks like this is going to liven up the forum for a while![bow][:D]

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by rgroeling

QUOTE: Originally posted by CSXrules4eva

Mookie,

Since the subject of common sence has been brought up I wonder if you could knock some common sence into the minds of some of my classmates. Also, please knock some common sence into the minds of New Jersey drivers. lol

Thanks Mook!

And Chicago drivers while your at it!!!![:D][(-D]

And the stupid ones that move here from Californa.

[Anonymous]

Dear Mrs. Mookie,
I took this bea-utifulmous young gal out on our first date tonight. On the way home from the movie we stopped at a crossing for a train to go by. She looks at me and says," I just hate those big ole smelly, horrible trains." Do you think I should ask her for a second date?

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by CSXrules4eva

Mookie,

Since the subject of common sence has been brought up I wonder if you could knock some common sence into the minds of some of my classmates. Also, please knock some common sence into the minds of New Jersey drivers. lol

Thanks Mook!

And Chicago drivers while your at it!!!![:D][(-D]

[espeefoamer]

Dear Mrs. Mook,
Sometimes I take my cat railfanning with me.He really loves it. The only problem is,he loves to ride freight trains[:0]! I don't want him riding alone,so I go with him.I have gotten into serious trouble over this,and have almost gotten arrested a few times. How do I break Boo Boo of this habit?

[dharmon]

So like Mook,

I was like driving the kids to soccer practice and like my mother calls me on the cell phone. I was already running late , because the dog groomer took too long...and then like oh my god this the crossing gates go down and the lights flash. And there was like, no way I'm going to wait for this stupid slow train. So I pulled around the gates, because the train was moving sooo slow. And then like from no where, this cop pulls me over and gives me ticket....I'm so sure. So can I like sue someone?

[JoeKoh]

my of my!!! I agree with carl. rule #1 don't mif the cat!!!!!!
just leave the chocolate cake and no one else gets hurt.
stay safe
Joe

[CSXrules4eva]

Mookie,

Since the subject of common sence has been brought up I wonder if you could knock some common sence into the minds of some of my classmates. Also, please knock some common sence into the minds of New Jersey drivers. lol

Thanks Mook!

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

Dear Mrs. Mookie,

The other day I was railfanning at Tehachapi. After I swatted away all the babe railfan groupies, I laid down between the rails hoping to get a cool shot of a UP train as it passed over the top of me. Before the train arrived however, the RR police came and detained me, saying I was tresspassing. Who will stand up for America? What about my rights? What can I do to end this tyranny? The RR police KeeP Harrierassing me every time I try to get a good shot like this!

It's all Bush and Mineta's fault. If I were you I'd never railfan again!

[mudchicken]

Fire up the D-9!

[Anonymous]

Mrs. Mookie

I can't find the House Automatic Self Cleaning Button. What do I do?

Does the dishwasher have this feature--Automatic load and unload-- if so I can find it either? I have run out of real dishes and the paper plates are almost gone, and Wal Mart is now closed. What is this poor guy to do?


Signed

Distressed, dirty, and dejected.

[mudchicken]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

QUOTE: Originally posted by mudchicken

[(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D]

You find this funny, fuzzy feathers? You best get your truck tuned up so it will go faster!

Moo!

Sunday, November 19 - EVERYBODY go to Lincoln (Applebees?) about 6PM .....watch the chocolate cat fur and muddy feathers fly! Driver & BossHen (plus the terrier whiskey ad) will be shaking their heads and looking for a good stiff drink.

[:D][:D][:D]

[Mookie]

QUOTE: Originally posted by mudchicken

[(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D]

You find this funny, fuzzy feathers? You best get your truck tuned up so it will go faster!

Moo!

[edblysard]

I am...and I am!

QUOTE: Originally posted by JOdom

Mookie -

Ed either is or has been at some time a husband, so he's used to being in really big trouble.

[UPTRAIN]

LOL!!!

[chad thomas]

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

Dear Mrs. Mookie,

The other day I was railfanning at Tehachapi. After I swatted away all the babe railfan groupies, I laid down between the rails hoping to get a cool shot of a UP train as it passed over the top of me. Before the train arrived however, the RR police came and detained me, saying I was tresspassing. Who will stand up for America? What about my rights? What can I do to end this tyranny? The RR police KeeP Harrierassing me every time I try to get a good shot like this!

Dear Mookie,
I was railfanning up at Tehachappi with a few friends the other day. We were having a good time till this clown showes up and scared my girlfriends away. After that he goes screwing around between the rails. It wasn't long before the cinder *** shows up. He procedes to declare his rights, yelling things like "I'm standing up for America" and "Why do you keep harrassing me". I thought for sure he was going to jail but he didn't. What he did do is tick the cop off. This cop, now quite agitated, decided to harrass all the railfans in the area, myself included. My question to you Mookie is what can I do to rid the area of this type of rif-raf? I feel like driving to LA and finding this guy to kick his *** for giving railfanns a bad name.

[dharmon]

Mrs. Mookie,

Awhile back, a friend and I were riding the rails in search of adventure. We were riding in an empty aluminum coal car and had stooped in a yard in Houston. While I was busy typing away on my WiFi connected laptop, some jerk conductor had the enginner kick the train really hard causing us to fly all over, breaking my laptop, spilling my Starbucks and ruining a really expensive pair of cargo pants. Then he had the gall to call the RR police who arrested us. Should I sue the railroad for this treatment?

[UPTRAIN]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Murphy Siding

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

Dear Mrs. Mookie,

The other day I was railfanning at Tehachapi. After I swatted away all the babe railfan groupies, I laid down between the rails hoping to get a cool shot of a UP train as it passed over the top of me. Before the train arrived however, the RR police came and detained me, saying I was tresspassing. Who will stand up for America? What about my rights? What can I do to end this tyranny? The RR police KeeP Harrierassing me every time I try to get a good shot like this!

Was the American flag sticker clean?

LOL

Madam Mook,

The other day I was railfanning, hoping to catch the UP 4141 (as UP 8423) under a tarp headed south towards it's untarping...a dumb civilian called the police on me and they responded (only to find out that it was my neighbor). What do you think I should do to educate this slackjaw moron (civilian) about our hobby?

[Murphy Siding]

QUOTE: Originally posted by dharmon

Dear Mrs. Mookie,

The other day I was railfanning at Tehachapi. After I swatted away all the babe railfan groupies, I laid down between the rails hoping to get a cool shot of a UP train as it passed over the top of me. Before the train arrived however, the RR police came and detained me, saying I was tresspassing. Who will stand up for America? What about my rights? What can I do to end this tyranny? The RR police KeeP Harrierassing me every time I try to get a good shot like this!

Was the American flag sticker clean?

[mudchicken]

[(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D][(-D]

[Mookie]

Carl - my one person cheering section - you told me that you Miffed the cat - a lot and would like to see her again!

Dan - you are incorrigible and I am so glad to see you back posting!

Houston Ed's gonna hurt over this one!

Mookie

[CShaveRR]

As the Mook's adopted brother (actually I adopted her as my sister), I don't know what to say here. I think that SJ is absolutely the right person to write an advice column--on more than one occasion she has come up with exactly the right words, and right advice, for me.

She can be the funniest person I know, too. But let's not waste time with the BS. I'm sure SJ has valid opinions about just about anything you'd want to ask or tell her. And, if you're nice, she might share them with you. If she has time, that is--the poor lady's also got an office to run, and that's where her computer is.

Remember Mookie's Rule 1--Don't Miff The Cat!

[dharmon]

Dear Mrs. Mookie,

The other day I was railfanning at Tehachapi. After I swatted away all the babe railfan groupies, I laid down between the rails hoping to get a cool shot of a UP train as it passed over the top of me. Before the train arrived however, the RR police came and detained me, saying I was tresspassing. Who will stand up for America? What about my rights? What can I do to end this tyranny? The RR police KeeP Harrierassing me every time I try to get a good shot like this!

[selector]

Does that train stop at the crossing to pick up ex-wives? [:-^]

[tree68]

Any of that kettle corn left?[swg]

[chad thomas]

I have a feeling this thread is going to need lots of popcorn.[swg]

[dharmon]

Dear Mizzus Mookie,

The wife an me live in a trailer down by the train tracks. Now bein a railfan and all, I get as excited as long tailed cat in a room fulla rocking chairs whenever a train comes a rolling by. My wife however, don't like trains. No mam' not one bit and hollers at me everytime one comes by and blasts it's horn at the grade crossing in the backyard. And now she says she going to leave and git a deevorce if we don't move. It's her or the trains she said. So the question is, if we get a deevorce, how we supposed to be towards each other at family reyunions, bein cousins and all?