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Toungue in Cheek Technical Jargon

  • My late mother's husband quotes this at regular intervals in conversation about anything technical. When I asked, he said it came from an April 1951 issue of Model Railroader, but I can't find it in any issue around that date, so far. It goes like this:

    The Sonic Diablola A/C Double Filter Half-Wave Twin Mastoid System of Power Distribution.
    Now in order to keep that humming well, you have to keep the X-leg of ZY circuit non-conductive at less than 48 micro-farads, otherwise you have to tune the facilitate tuning coil to one of about 3-ohms less resistance. That is of course, after allowing for the cross-voltage tuning variation.
    Now, if that's done properly, a UHF parabolic type transmitter kicks in.
    Now what this does it to keep the bull-gear from jumping the heifer gear, and that's how you keep things running.

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  • Likely from at April 1960 issue of Mad Magazine and reprinted by The Onion in 2001.

    Never too old to have a happy childhood!