Well, it's Sunday evening and another weekend, and for that matter another entire week, has come and gone and I've not done a single thing related to model railroading. I started building my new layout in early May, and it took just two free afternoons to complete the basic benchwork - those afternoons came three months apart. Now I'm waiting for an opportunity to do my cookie-cutter work with the jigsaw. With the demands of a needy wife and family of four young kids, my only free time is late at night after the young ones are in bed - not exactly the best time to be rattling away with power tools. At any rate, even if the benchwork were finished, I'm still needing a couple hundred bucks worth of track and turnouts, and that's over a couple hundred bucks more than I have. So I've reached the point where I have to ask myself why I even try. Is it worse to simply abandon the hobby I enjoy so much or to spend evening after evening in frustration that I can't even briefly leave the pressures and responsibilities of my real life for the simple pleasure of directing my focus on something that really doesn't matter, like building a model railroad?
How does everybody else cope? How do you find the time that it takes to work on your railroad? And how do you afford it? As far as I'm concerned, I can't answer any of those questions. Right now I'm tempted to just box everything back up and use the benchwork to store the other junk that seems to incessantly accumulate.
"I am lapidary but not eristic when I use big words." - William F. Buckley
I haven't been sleeping. I'm afraid I'll dream I'm in a coma and then wake up unconscious. -Stephen Wright
It takes an iron man to play with a toy iron horse.
I'm sincerely sorry about your situation mononguy63. You might consider setting things aside for a while until life allows you the time and money you need to really get involved in the hobby. I'm sure you're not alone. Good luck to you.
Tracklayer
You do it, because you enjoy it. If you don't enjoy it, you should be doing something else.
I'ts just that simple.
George
"And the sons of Pullman porters and the sons of engineers ride their father's magic carpet made of steel..."
Similar thoughts to those already expressed by the other posters. Small steps, small amounts of time, small amounts of money, all add up over the long haul.
mononguy63 wrote: Now I'm waiting for an opportunity to do my cookie-cutter work with the jigsaw. With the demands of a needy wife and family of four young kids, my only free time is late at night after the young ones are in bed - not exactly the best time to be rattling away with power tools.
Now I'm waiting for an opportunity to do my cookie-cutter work with the jigsaw. With the demands of a needy wife and family of four young kids, my only free time is late at night after the young ones are in bed - not exactly the best time to be rattling away with power tools.
At any rate, even if the benchwork were finished, I'm still needing a couple hundred bucks worth of track and turnouts, and that's over a couple hundred bucks more than I have.
Don't look at the total amount you need. It's not necessary to complete the whole thing at one fell swoop. Even a few bucks worth of flex track and a couple of manual switches (maybe with manual ground throws) gets you evenings of installation time, plus a chance to start running rains on a short stretch of track. Maybe even some basic switching. Allows you to start wiring, run trains, checkout installed track before proceeding further, etc.
So I've reached the point where I have to ask myself why I even try. Is it worse to simply abandon the hobby I enjoy so much or to spend evening after evening in frustration that I can't even briefly leave the pressures and responsibilities of my real life for the simple pleasure of directing my focus on something that really doesn't matter, like building a model railroad?
It would be a shame to abandon it unless there's no way to make even short time available to be periodically involved. Arm chair railroading / reading / planning / during the times when you can't work keeps you involved, even if you arent actually building.
Good luck,
Ed
I hear you, and maybe i can help just a bit. I am startign a very busy period of my life in the next week,a nd it might be 3-6 months before i get it all sorted out. (its all good stuff, but i will have a lot less time) One thing i have learned from my armor modeling is this. If you have to leave something for a while write up what you did and what you were going to do next. That and keep any revelent parts there with it. That way time wont be wasted figuring out what needs to be done next.
Also maybe there is a club in the area you can go run some trains on. Just getting out of the house for one night a month to play with trains wont cost you money and will keep you in the hobby. Remember this is supposed to be relaxing and challanging at the same time. People here way smarter than me have said it again and again, just relax, and accomplish what you can when you can. It will all come together faster thant you realize.
In the meantime enjoy your healthy family.
Bill
PA&ERR wrote:You do it, because you enjoy it. If you don't enjoy it, you should be doing something else. I'ts just that simple. GeorgeI would amend this statement, as follows:You do it, because you enjoy it. If you don't enjoy it, you should consider doing something else for a while.(It's a friendly amendment.)-Ed Five out of four people have trouble with fractions. -AnonymousThree may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. -Benjamin Franklin "You don't have to be Jeeves to love butlers, but it helps." (Followers of Levi's Real Jewish Rye will get this one) -Ed K "A potted watch never boils." -Ed Kowal If it's not fun, why do it ? -Ben & Jerry Reply BRAKIE Member sinceOctober 2001 From: OH 17,574 posts Posted by BRAKIE on Sunday, October 8, 2006 8:16 PM mononguy63, Heres the way I dealt with the hobby with a wife and 2 kids.My late wife and I had things we like to do together and that included attending Train Shows and other hobby related activities..She even attended the Rails Alive In 75 convention in Dayton(Oh).However,we BOTH realize we needed quality time APART so we could relax in our own ways be it railfaning,attending a division meeting,reading a book,shopping or attending club meetings.In other words there was NO apron strings attached to my life nor was there a husband's leash attached to her life and we had a very happy marriage for 20 years. Larry Conductor. Summerset Ry. "Stay Alert, Don't get hurt Safety First!" Reply IRONROOSTER Member sinceJune 2003 From: Culpeper, Va 8,204 posts Posted by IRONROOSTER on Sunday, October 8, 2006 9:33 PM I have been through the process you describe. I started this hobby before our first son was born. Built a 4x8 layout. After our first child I built a 6x6. After our second son (and a third son) I didn't have a layout for many years. Most of my free time and money was spent with the boys. I was den leader and assistant scoutmaster in Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts for over 10 years. During this time I read Model Railroader, built an odd kit or two, and occasionally set some track up on a plywood table. Then the children grew up and started leaving home, my wife went back to school and then went to work. So now I have a 10x18 layout, plenty of gear, and time to work on the layout, go to train shows, etc.For now your responsibilities are your children. Don't neglect your wife, she needs some adult time each day. When your children are gone, model railroading will still be there. Enjoy these years with your children, they pass all too quickly. EnjoyPaul If you're having fun, you're doing it the right way. Reply jwils1 Member sinceNovember 2002 From: Thornton, CO 763 posts Posted by jwils1 on Sunday, October 8, 2006 9:55 PM mononguy63 wrote: How does everybody else cope? How do you find the time that it takes to work on your railroad? And how do you afford it? As far as I'm concerned, I can't answer any of those questions. Right now I'm tempted to just box everything back up and use the benchwork to store the other junk that seems to incessantly accumulate. I understand your situation, but, family, job and spiritual life are top priorities for many, and, if so, time for hobbies will come in due time. I had to wait 55 years before I had a layout. Family, high-stress job and other important pursuits simply had to come first, both time-wise and financially. But from about age 15 I never stopped loving trains. I read about them when I could, I watched them when I could (both models and real RR), I drew track plans, and just plain dreamed about what I might do some day. And now at age 73 I'm really having fun with this hobby, and not for one minute do I regret waiting. Everybody's situation is different. Do what you can, maybe just a little at a time, maybe just dream about it, just enjoy trains in whatever way you can, but most importantly keep your priorities straight! Jerry Rio Grande vs. Santa Fe.....the battle is over but the glory remains! Reply claycts Member sinceJune 2003 From: AIKEN S.C. & Orange Park Fl. 2,047 posts Posted by claycts on Sunday, October 8, 2006 9:57 PM My $.02 is from experience. I got fed-up in 1981 due to the same PLUS other things. I bit my nose off and SOLD everything because I just could not cope with all that money just sitting there. Fast forward to 2002, the bug returned due to the support of my wife and the fact that the business my dad started was doing just fine. I started design in 2003 and swung the 1st hammer for real in October of 2005. I am now running on the plywood central and could not be happier. The answer to your problem is to change your stratagy. You need to show your wife that this hobby is a tool for teaching your children about: Wood Working Soldering Design and math Artwork for the backdrop History about the trains And the MOST IMPORTANT that it is a hobby for the whole family and you can ALL spend time togther. No matter the ages the kids can haul lumber, prime wood or get some train videos they can watch. Take Care George Pavlisko Driving Race cars and working on HO trains More fun than I can stand!!! Reply rayw46 Member sinceFebruary 2003 From: Georgia, USA 583 posts Posted by rayw46 on Sunday, October 8, 2006 10:14 PM Maybe at this point in your life you're biting off just a little more than you can chew. Try leaving the idea of a medium to large layout alone for a while and concentrate on building a layout one module at a time, say the obligatory 2' x 4'. There's a smaller area to complete so as you work on it you can feel a greater sense of accomplishment. The cost is also going to be spread out as you work on only one module at a time. Shoot for the stars; so you miss, you are only lost in space. Reply Morpar Member sinceApril 2002 From: Frankfort, Indiana 424 posts Posted by Morpar on Sunday, October 8, 2006 11:07 PM I can really sympathize with you on this subject. I bought my house 15 years ago next month, and I still don't have anyplace to start a layout, and won't for the foreseeable future. My strategy has been to concentrate on getting the equipment I want ready to go, and picking up items that are good buy when I can so that when the time comes there won't be such a huge cost to get running. I have a few boxes of flex-track waiting at this point, and about 25% of my rolling stock is properly weighted and equipped with metal wheelsets and Kadee couplers. Since you are in the Indy area, are there any clubs nearby that could help you "get your fix" so to speak? I live near Frankfort, and the closest club that I am aware of is on the Purdue campus in West Lafayette. While I was a member there while I was a "student", it is out of the question for me now, especially since I work nights! I guess my point really boils down to saying that if you do truly enjoy the hobby, then don't give up. It may take many years, but sooner or later, you will get to where you want to be. Good luck! Good Luck, Morpar Reply Bob grech Member sinceApril 2006 From: Fountain Valley, Ca. 763 posts Posted by Bob grech on Sunday, October 8, 2006 11:11 PM In my forty years in this hobby, I've seen many modelers give up early-on because they wanted to accomplish too much too soon. Before I had the opportunity of owning my home (and space for my layout) I kept myself busy building small dioramas and kits. My point here is to take baby steps. You'll soon accumulate a small empire's worth of buildings and rolling stock. Some of the great model railroaders (John Allen for one) spent over 20 years of his life to build his legendary GD. Unfortunetly, he never completed the layout, but he never gave up on his dream. Model Railroading is a life-long hobby. No layout is ever truely finished. There is always something new to add or improve. In today's world of "instant gratification" many newcomers fail to understand this concept. "A layout can not be built overnight". My 2 cents.... Have Fun.... Bob. Reply selector Member sinceFebruary 2005 From: Vancouver Island, BC 23,330 posts Posted by selector on Sunday, October 8, 2006 11:13 PM It sounds like this has become a great source of either resentment or simple frustration for you. Your family's needs are more important to you than your hobby right now, and you have made the necessary adjustments. Still, you long to do something that will seem like real progress, something that will be tangibly closer to running trains. You are also aware that your time will come, even if it has to be in fits and starts now and then. In the meantime, planning, refining, and keeping abreast of changes and new techniques that will make your eventual full-blown entry in running a layout is perhaps a much more realistic objective for the time being. Think of it as marking time, a military marching in place. You are still keeping the cadence, just not moving. Keep apace, but keep the effort to a minimum while you channel your energy to where it counts in these early formative years. Believe me, when the time comes, it will be soooooooo much the richer. "All good things come to he who waits." Reply Milwhiawatha Member sinceAugust 2002 From: Somewhere here and there 1,012 posts Posted by Milwhiawatha on Sunday, October 8, 2006 11:18 PM mononguy63 wrote: How does everybody else cope? How do you find the time that it takes to work on your railroad? And how do you afford it? As far as I'm concerned, I can't answer any of those questions. Right now I'm tempted to just box everything back up and use the benchwork to store the other junk that seems to incessantly accumulate. Mononguy, I dont have kids but I do have cost restaints. 1. For track scan Ebay sorry to say it but its not badly priced. I have a few connections and maybe get it pretty cheap and legally. (depends on code tho) 2. As for cookie cutter power tools? wood?. You dont nessarily need to use wood for a cookie cutter layout. Try construction insulation foam, or foam from woodland scenics. Not the bubbles but extruded. All you need is a knife X-acto orsteak knife to cut it. They even have Hot cutters for foam but I would suggest only using it on the woodland Sceics foam due to no harmful fumes. I use foam for my layout but use wood as the sub-base. As for time due it when you have the time. As I was once told its not a job and don make it into a job. There was a time I didnt touch the layout for 6 months if not more cause of my grandfather being ill and in and out of the hospital unfortunately he passed away last Nov and never got to see the railroad running but I'm sure he is watching me work on it and running it. Owner & Operator of Midwest & Northern RR and Midwest Intermodal (freelanced HO) Reply zeis96 Member sinceNovember 2005 From: IL 153 posts Posted by zeis96 on Monday, October 9, 2006 12:15 AM I'll add my comments only because I'm in a similar situation. I started work on my very first layout in December. It's been almost a year and I'm nowhere near being able to run trains. On top of that we just had our first kid 6 weeks ago. I'm now in the same boat that I can't do a lot of sawing or pounding without disturbing our new son. As some may have read in other posts I'm in the process of redesigning my trackplan so that will put the layout on hold for a couple more days. Also, being a police officer I work different times different days. Like everyone else said just chip away at it a little at a time. If I can get 30 minutes in one day or 2 hours in another, that's just that much more I've gotten done. My rottweiler chewed up our money tree in the backyard but I am able to buy little bits at a time. In the long run I might spend more on shipping but I can only buy for example, 10 pieces of flex track or a couple turnouts at a time. I keep motivated by coming on here and looking at pictures of everyone's layout and thinking of the day I'll have something like that. By the time I'm done with mine our son will be old enough to enjoy it! hi Reply cudaken Member sinceJune 2006 From: Maryville IL 9,577 posts Posted by cudaken on Monday, October 9, 2006 12:40 AM Mononguy, Boy I know where you are coming from! It was not that long ago I was ready to sell all my stuff on E-bay. My budget at this point is around $10.00 a week. Every week I bought 1 to 2 sections of flex track or a turn out. All so found a few great deails on E-bay all so some bad ones. Start with a simple board, get a line up and running. Simple can be big like mine, most people that are hard core will poke fun of the way it looks. Don't worry about any thing fancy, that will come later as mine will. If you like some E-bay seller's name's I trust PM me. Plus my LHS is very fair. I be happy to ship for free, just the cost. If you have follwed my posting's like othere you will find it funny that I am saying not to give up. Few months ago I was the poster child for throwing my hands up. Cuda Ken, If I can do it anyone can. I hate Rust Reply Angel_of_Mercy Member sinceJuly 2006 From: Compton 71 posts Posted by Angel_of_Mercy on Monday, October 9, 2006 1:27 AM I have been in this hobby for a total of 4-5 years and have spent around $300 max and have yet to lay a single peice of track, and won't anytime soon (end of this year). but still i love just taking my AC4400 out and just looking at it and dreaming of the future and how this is making me want that empire all the more She don't know us, we Baptist we'll tear this place down Jesus just saved your life halelujerr Reply Dave-the-Train Member sinceJuly 2006 2,299 posts Posted by Dave-the-Train on Monday, October 9, 2006 2:27 AM One thing I can maybe add to the suggestions here... Whether one is a father, mother, carer or whatever it is just as important to all one's family to have some time set aside for one's self - a sort of "total personal sabbath" as for the whole family to observe a "day of rest". Which raises the pointg that all too often these days the "day of rest" has become a day of belting round in circles doing things that aren't "work" but sure aren't restful. MRR or any hobby, something that the individual can lose themselves in and relax for an hour or two aren't just good ways of doing yet another thing but should be a good way of easing down... even if it is only for a few minutes. Just as everyone else in a family can sya "Give me a break/I need some time/leave me in peace" it is essential that Dad has his time. This isn't time that is squeezed in when it can be. This is planned -short of serious emergency that no-one else can deal with - time to one's self. I was my wife's carer for about seven years. getting any sort of break could be near impossible. I still love my wife to bits... but we both had to get the message that I absolutely had to have my breaks and my time for me. This is not an issue of a strong father figure being able to do everything. It is an issue of a sensible person both knowing their limits and having the maturity to say bot "no" and "this time is for me". Sometimes in a week it may be only half an hour.. but it should be a solid half hour. three or four hours is better. Everyone will benefit by it. I ended up in hospital... because I was simply drained out. There are worse results. For one thing there's no point in being everything for everyone if you end up grumpy, stressed, bad tempered, resentful, divorced, seeing the alienated kids one day a week and all that goes with that. Time for you isn't a life jacket it's sensible preperation for a good/happy life for everyone. Hope this mini-lecture helps. Look after yourself. Reply jbinkley60 Member sinceFebruary 2006 From: Gahanna, Ohio 1,987 posts Posted by jbinkley60 on Monday, October 9, 2006 4:59 AM I've been working on my layout since late 2002. There was a period from the middle 2003 until late 2005 that it sat and nothing got done. It took me a few hours just to clean the track from the oxidation. In 2002 I had been in my house for almost 16 years and had not started a layout at all. Too many other things in my life to occupy my time. For me it is all about balance in my life. I find this hobby as a great escape from work and other things. I can go downstairs and work on the layout and I'm in my own little world, away from the real work for a few hours. I plan on it taking me two more years to complete my current layout. I now look forward to leaving work and coming home to work on it. It helps that my wife is very supportive. My suggestion is that if you find the hobby becoming too stressful, don't sell everything off, put it down for awhile. Keep buying the magazines, going to shows and dreaming. When you feel the yearning coming back, start working on it again. One thing that helped me also was recording my progress. I started my website and have found it useful to reflect how I went from bare walls and floor to where I am at now. Engineer Jeff NS Nut Visit my layout at: http://www.thebinks.com/trains/ Reply Dave Vollmer Member sinceNovember 2003 From: Colorado Springs, CO 2,742 posts Posted by Dave Vollmer on Monday, October 9, 2006 6:48 AM Well, I have a wife, two boys ages 2 and 4, and I'm working on a PhD in meteorology as an active duty Air Force officer but I still built a layout in 5 months' time. I built it in the garage after everyone went to bed nearly every night. When I had to study or write papers, the layout had to wait, but just for a short while. Now that I'm preparing for my candidacy exams, I don't have any more construction I need to do. I can just run trains as a study break. You can always find time. You just have to want it badly enough. Modeling the Rio Grande Southern First District circa 1938-1946 in HOn3. Reply Ibflattop Member sinceDecember 2003 From: Ft. Wayne Indiana Home of the Lake Division 574 posts Posted by Ibflattop on Monday, October 9, 2006 7:05 AM Hey we are not Stock car racing here! Thou its also held on Saturday and Sunday afternoons. Take your time with your layout. Its not going to get done in a couple of weekends, You wouldnt want that! If ya get board with a project go to your workbench and pick something else to work on. Try and weathering an engine or a car. Work on some scenery or lay some track. These activites will help ya overcome the dull parts. Buy little at a time and work in stages. Hope this helps, Kevin Home of the NS Lake Division.....(but NKP and Wabash rule!!!!!!!! ) :-) NMRA # 103172 Ham callsign KC9QZW Reply CP5415 Member sinceJuly 2003 From: Whitby, ON 2,594 posts Posted by CP5415 on Monday, October 9, 2006 7:16 AM Mononguy, Relax! As others have stated, it's only a hobby. I had the benchwork in place almost 3 years before I got around to doing any major track work. This year, I think I've had the grand total of about 5-6 hours to work on the layout. I got basic wiring done, I haven't built my cab controls yet, I haven't finished my yard or finalized my junction & don't even ask me when I'm going to start scenery. But I can run trains! That's the one thing that kept me going was I set up a basic oval with a passing track to allow my to see trains run. It's now been 6 years since I moved into our house & now we're contiplating moving next year! & on top of all this, the only LHS worth going to that was close to me closed this year because the owner wanted to retire. Don't give up dude, play it smart, get your kids interested in trains. Gordon Brought to you by the letters C.P.R. as well as D&H! K1a - all the way Reply Dave Vollmer Member sinceNovember 2003 From: Colorado Springs, CO 2,742 posts Posted by Dave Vollmer on Monday, October 9, 2006 10:26 AM Plan a jigsaw weekend in advance with the wife. Get her and the kids out for one day. Maximize that day. In the meantime, work on the quiet stuff after they go to bed (structures, rolling stock, etc.). Once you get past benchwork, nothing else should be really loud and wake the kids. Your best bet for the big events (power-tools, plaster, etc.) is toput it on the calendar. Modeling the Rio Grande Southern First District circa 1938-1946 in HOn3. Reply zgardner18 Member sinceSeptember 2005 From: Glendora, CA 1,423 posts Posted by zgardner18 on Monday, October 9, 2006 11:18 AM I think that the best thing that one can do in this situation is schedule time. Establish one night in the week that your wife will let you spend on your hobby. Find a model railroad club in your area that you can join so that you can at least run a train every once in a while while you build yours. Plus is a great way to get ideas for your own. Instead of eating out for lunch at work, make a PB&J sandwitch and take that money and save it for your hobby. I can relate to your problem since I also have them as well. I'm almost 30 with a needy wife and a 2yr old son that bounces off the walls, and another one on the way. My wife rather me spend all my free time helping her control my son. Then she puts on the guilt that I need to spend time with my boy then going and playing trains. Heck, I can't even go into the garage for a long period of time until she comes and gets me to take care of him. I also don't have a house to call my own since I moved back to California from finishing school. Living with the in-laws doesn't help my cause either. So I sit daydreaming of my own house with a trainroom. I found that joining my local model railroad club has helped. I have established with my wife that I get only one night out of the week to leave at 8pm to "play trains" on a tuesday's night, and be back by 10. That only 2 hours out of a 168 in a week. This is what I mean by scheduling with the wife a time to myself and the hobby. As long as it on the schedule then it is understood. Lastly, I found that I drink too much soda. I have at least one 32oz. a day. That money adds up, plus so has my waist line. I have committed to myself that I am going to quit cold turkey and take the money that I would spend on a soda or snack, and put it into a savings for trains. --Zak Gardner My Layout Blog: http://mrl369dude.blogspot.com http://zgardner18.rrpicturearchives.net VIEW SLIDE SHOW: CLICK ON PHOTO BELOW Reply mononguy63 Member sinceJuly 2003 From: Indy 997 posts Posted by mononguy63 on Monday, October 9, 2006 11:39 AM Thanks all for the kind words of advice and encouragement. This is my third layout and at 9'x17' is not particularly large by most standards, I just haven't had anything on which to power up a locomotive since our move to the new house (nearly four years now). That's long enough. Building and then re-storing storing kits and basically nibbling around the edges of the hobby like I've been doing just doesn't cut it any more. Interestingly, my wife & I had lunch together today and she said she planned on taking the kids to her parents' house this Saturday so that I could have the day to clean the garage, put up some shelves to organize the garage stuff that's left, and oh yeah, maybe spend some time in the basement working on the layout. I believe she sensed my desire to "get away" (perhaps this runs a little deeper than model trains?). What can I say - I married an angel. So maybe next Monday I'll be posting some photos of my version of the Plywood Central instead of griping. "I am lapidary but not eristic when I use big words." - William F. Buckley I haven't been sleeping. I'm afraid I'll dream I'm in a coma and then wake up unconscious. -Stephen Wright Reply 12 Subscriber & Member Login Login, or register today to interact in our online community, comment on articles, receive our newsletter, manage your account online and more! Login Register Users Online There are no community member online Search the Community ADVERTISEMENT ADVERTISEMENT ADVERTISEMENT Model Railroader Newsletter See all Sign up for our FREE e-newsletter and get model railroad news in your inbox! Sign up
You do it, because you enjoy it. If you don't enjoy it, you should be doing something else. I'ts just that simple. George
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions. -AnonymousThree may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. -Benjamin Franklin "You don't have to be Jeeves to love butlers, but it helps." (Followers of Levi's Real Jewish Rye will get this one) -Ed K "A potted watch never boils." -Ed Kowal If it's not fun, why do it ? -Ben & Jerry
Larry
Conductor.
Summerset Ry.
"Stay Alert, Don't get hurt Safety First!"
mononguy63 wrote: How does everybody else cope? How do you find the time that it takes to work on your railroad? And how do you afford it? As far as I'm concerned, I can't answer any of those questions. Right now I'm tempted to just box everything back up and use the benchwork to store the other junk that seems to incessantly accumulate.
I understand your situation, but, family, job and spiritual life are top priorities for many, and, if so, time for hobbies will come in due time.
I had to wait 55 years before I had a layout. Family, high-stress job and other important pursuits simply had to come first, both time-wise and financially.
But from about age 15 I never stopped loving trains. I read about them when I could, I watched them when I could (both models and real RR), I drew track plans, and just plain dreamed about what I might do some day.
And now at age 73 I'm really having fun with this hobby, and not for one minute do I regret waiting. Everybody's situation is different. Do what you can, maybe just a little at a time, maybe just dream about it, just enjoy trains in whatever way you can, but most importantly keep your priorities straight!
Jerry
Rio Grande vs. Santa Fe.....the battle is over but the glory remains!
My $.02 is from experience. I got fed-up in 1981 due to the same PLUS other things. I bit my nose off and SOLD everything because I just could not cope with all that money just sitting there. Fast forward to 2002, the bug returned due to the support of my wife and the fact that the business my dad started was doing just fine. I started design in 2003 and swung the 1st hammer for real in October of 2005. I am now running on the plywood central and could not be happier.
The answer to your problem is to change your stratagy. You need to show your wife that this hobby is a tool for teaching your children about:
Wood Working
Soldering
Design and math
Artwork for the backdrop
History about the trains
And the MOST IMPORTANT that it is a hobby for the whole family and you can ALL spend time togther. No matter the ages the kids can haul lumber, prime wood or get some train videos they can watch.
I can really sympathize with you on this subject. I bought my house 15 years ago next month, and I still don't have anyplace to start a layout, and won't for the foreseeable future. My strategy has been to concentrate on getting the equipment I want ready to go, and picking up items that are good buy when I can so that when the time comes there won't be such a huge cost to get running. I have a few boxes of flex-track waiting at this point, and about 25% of my rolling stock is properly weighted and equipped with metal wheelsets and Kadee couplers.
Since you are in the Indy area, are there any clubs nearby that could help you "get your fix" so to speak? I live near Frankfort, and the closest club that I am aware of is on the Purdue campus in West Lafayette. While I was a member there while I was a "student", it is out of the question for me now, especially since I work nights!
I guess my point really boils down to saying that if you do truly enjoy the hobby, then don't give up. It may take many years, but sooner or later, you will get to where you want to be. Good luck!
Good Luck, Morpar
In my forty years in this hobby, I've seen many modelers give up early-on because they wanted to accomplish too much too soon. Before I had the opportunity of owning my home (and space for my layout) I kept myself busy building small dioramas and kits. My point here is to take baby steps. You'll soon accumulate a small empire's worth of buildings and rolling stock. Some of the great model railroaders (John Allen for one) spent over 20 years of his life to build his legendary GD. Unfortunetly, he never completed the layout, but he never gave up on his dream. Model Railroading is a life-long hobby. No layout is ever truely finished. There is always something new to add or improve. In today's world of "instant gratification" many newcomers fail to understand this concept. "A layout can not be built overnight".
My 2 cents....
Have Fun.... Bob.
It sounds like this has become a great source of either resentment or simple frustration for you. Your family's needs are more important to you than your hobby right now, and you have made the necessary adjustments. Still, you long to do something that will seem like real progress, something that will be tangibly closer to running trains.
You are also aware that your time will come, even if it has to be in fits and starts now and then. In the meantime, planning, refining, and keeping abreast of changes and new techniques that will make your eventual full-blown entry in running a layout is perhaps a much more realistic objective for the time being. Think of it as marking time, a military marching in place. You are still keeping the cadence, just not moving. Keep apace, but keep the effort to a minimum while you channel your energy to where it counts in these early formative years.
Believe me, when the time comes, it will be soooooooo much the richer.
"All good things come to he who waits."
Mononguy, I dont have kids but I do have cost restaints.
1. For track scan Ebay sorry to say it but its not badly priced. I have a few connections and maybe get it pretty cheap and legally. (depends on code tho)
2. As for cookie cutter power tools? wood?. You dont nessarily need to use wood for a cookie cutter layout. Try construction insulation foam, or foam from woodland scenics. Not the bubbles but extruded. All you need is a knife X-acto orsteak knife to cut it. They even have Hot cutters for foam but I would suggest only using it on the woodland Sceics foam due to no harmful fumes.
I use foam for my layout but use wood as the sub-base.
As for time due it when you have the time. As I was once told its not a job and don make it into a job. There was a time I didnt touch the layout for 6 months if not more cause of my grandfather being ill and in and out of the hospital unfortunately he passed away last Nov and never got to see the railroad running but I'm sure he is watching me work on it and running it.
hi
Mononguy, Boy I know where you are coming from! It was not that long ago I was ready to sell all my stuff on E-bay. My budget at this point is around $10.00 a week. Every week I bought 1 to 2 sections of flex track or a turn out. All so found a few great deails on E-bay all so some bad ones.
Start with a simple board, get a line up and running. Simple can be big like mine, most people that are hard core will poke fun of the way it looks. Don't worry about any thing fancy, that will come later as mine will.
If you like some E-bay seller's name's I trust PM me. Plus my LHS is very fair. I be happy to ship for free, just the cost.
If you have follwed my posting's like othere you will find it funny that I am saying not to give up. Few months ago I was the poster child for throwing my hands up.
Cuda Ken, If I can do it anyone can.
I hate Rust
One thing I can maybe add to the suggestions here...
Whether one is a father, mother, carer or whatever it is just as important to all one's family to have some time set aside for one's self - a sort of "total personal sabbath" as for the whole family to observe a "day of rest". Which raises the pointg that all too often these days the "day of rest" has become a day of belting round in circles doing things that aren't "work" but sure aren't restful.
MRR or any hobby, something that the individual can lose themselves in and relax for an hour or two aren't just good ways of doing yet another thing but should be a good way of easing down... even if it is only for a few minutes.
Just as everyone else in a family can sya "Give me a break/I need some time/leave me in peace" it is essential that Dad has his time.
This isn't time that is squeezed in when it can be. This is planned -short of serious emergency that no-one else can deal with - time to one's self.
I was my wife's carer for about seven years. getting any sort of break could be near impossible. I still love my wife to bits... but we both had to get the message that I absolutely had to have my breaks and my time for me.
This is not an issue of a strong father figure being able to do everything. It is an issue of a sensible person both knowing their limits and having the maturity to say bot "no" and "this time is for me".
Sometimes in a week it may be only half an hour.. but it should be a solid half hour. three or four hours is better. Everyone will benefit by it.
I ended up in hospital... because I was simply drained out. There are worse results. For one thing there's no point in being everything for everyone if you end up grumpy, stressed, bad tempered, resentful, divorced, seeing the alienated kids one day a week and all that goes with that.
Time for you isn't a life jacket it's sensible preperation for a good/happy life for everyone.
Hope this mini-lecture helps.
Look after yourself.
I've been working on my layout since late 2002. There was a period from the middle 2003 until late 2005 that it sat and nothing got done. It took me a few hours just to clean the track from the oxidation. In 2002 I had been in my house for almost 16 years and had not started a layout at all. Too many other things in my life to occupy my time. For me it is all about balance in my life. I find this hobby as a great escape from work and other things. I can go downstairs and work on the layout and I'm in my own little world, away from the real work for a few hours. I plan on it taking me two more years to complete my current layout. I now look forward to leaving work and coming home to work on it. It helps that my wife is very supportive.
My suggestion is that if you find the hobby becoming too stressful, don't sell everything off, put it down for awhile. Keep buying the magazines, going to shows and dreaming. When you feel the yearning coming back, start working on it again. One thing that helped me also was recording my progress. I started my website and have found it useful to reflect how I went from bare walls and floor to where I am at now.
Engineer Jeff NS Nut Visit my layout at: http://www.thebinks.com/trains/
Well, I have a wife, two boys ages 2 and 4, and I'm working on a PhD in meteorology as an active duty Air Force officer but I still built a layout in 5 months' time. I built it in the garage after everyone went to bed nearly every night. When I had to study or write papers, the layout had to wait, but just for a short while. Now that I'm preparing for my candidacy exams, I don't have any more construction I need to do. I can just run trains as a study break.
You can always find time. You just have to want it badly enough.
Modeling the Rio Grande Southern First District circa 1938-1946 in HOn3.
Hey we are not Stock car racing here! Thou its also held on Saturday and Sunday afternoons. Take your time with your layout. Its not going to get done in a couple of weekends, You wouldnt want that!
If ya get board with a project go to your workbench and pick something else to work on. Try and weathering an engine or a car. Work on some scenery or lay some track. These activites will help ya overcome the dull parts. Buy little at a time and work in stages.
Hope this helps, Kevin
Mononguy,
Relax!
As others have stated, it's only a hobby.
I had the benchwork in place almost 3 years before I got around to doing any major track work.
This year, I think I've had the grand total of about 5-6 hours to work on the layout. I got basic wiring done, I haven't built my cab controls yet, I haven't finished my yard or finalized my junction & don't even ask me when I'm going to start scenery.
But I can run trains!
That's the one thing that kept me going was I set up a basic oval with a passing track to allow my to see trains run.
It's now been 6 years since I moved into our house & now we're contiplating moving next year!
& on top of all this, the only LHS worth going to that was close to me closed this year because the owner wanted to retire.
Don't give up dude, play it smart, get your kids interested in trains.
Gordon
Brought to you by the letters C.P.R. as well as D&H!
K1a - all the way
Plan a jigsaw weekend in advance with the wife. Get her and the kids out for one day. Maximize that day. In the meantime, work on the quiet stuff after they go to bed (structures, rolling stock, etc.). Once you get past benchwork, nothing else should be really loud and wake the kids.
Your best bet for the big events (power-tools, plaster, etc.) is toput it on the calendar.
I think that the best thing that one can do in this situation is schedule time. Establish one night in the week that your wife will let you spend on your hobby.
Find a model railroad club in your area that you can join so that you can at least run a train every once in a while while you build yours. Plus is a great way to get ideas for your own.
Instead of eating out for lunch at work, make a PB&J sandwitch and take that money and save it for your hobby.
I can relate to your problem since I also have them as well. I'm almost 30 with a needy wife and a 2yr old son that bounces off the walls, and another one on the way. My wife rather me spend all my free time helping her control my son. Then she puts on the guilt that I need to spend time with my boy then going and playing trains. Heck, I can't even go into the garage for a long period of time until she comes and gets me to take care of him.
I also don't have a house to call my own since I moved back to California from finishing school. Living with the in-laws doesn't help my cause either. So I sit daydreaming of my own house with a trainroom.
I found that joining my local model railroad club has helped. I have established with my wife that I get only one night out of the week to leave at 8pm to "play trains" on a tuesday's night, and be back by 10. That only 2 hours out of a 168 in a week. This is what I mean by scheduling with the wife a time to myself and the hobby. As long as it on the schedule then it is understood.
Lastly, I found that I drink too much soda. I have at least one 32oz. a day. That money adds up, plus so has my waist line. I have committed to myself that I am going to quit cold turkey and take the money that I would spend on a soda or snack, and put it into a savings for trains.
--Zak Gardner
My Layout Blog: http://mrl369dude.blogspot.com
http://zgardner18.rrpicturearchives.net
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Thanks all for the kind words of advice and encouragement. This is my third layout and at 9'x17' is not particularly large by most standards, I just haven't had anything on which to power up a locomotive since our move to the new house (nearly four years now). That's long enough. Building and then re-storing storing kits and basically nibbling around the edges of the hobby like I've been doing just doesn't cut it any more.
Interestingly, my wife & I had lunch together today and she said she planned on taking the kids to her parents' house this Saturday so that I could have the day to clean the garage, put up some shelves to organize the garage stuff that's left, and oh yeah, maybe spend some time in the basement working on the layout. I believe she sensed my desire to "get away" (perhaps this runs a little deeper than model trains?). What can I say - I married an angel.
So maybe next Monday I'll be posting some photos of my version of the Plywood Central instead of griping.