You might be a Model Railroader if......

[Anonymous]

* You've ever plunked down half your paycheck for equipment in your favorite scale, and then wondered what it would be like to model in a different scale.

*You've ever sold a perfectly good freight or passenger car, only because the new superdetailed one you just bought makes the old one look bland.

*You really agonize over decisions like, "Should I buy flowers for my wife or turnouts for my new staging yard ? or Do I need to buy flowers to get these turnouts in the house?"

*You talk about your favorite scale with the zeal and fervor of an evangelist promoting his religion.

*You see a piece of plywood, and your first thought is to imagine what kind of layout could be built on it.

*You haven't let your son play with "his" trains since last Christmas.

*You honestly feel that, if your wife buys a new video tape, that entitles you to buy a freight car, and a new outfit for her means an engine for you. Fair is fair.

*You've ever gotten into a debate over whether Kato is pronounced "kay-to" or "kah-to."

*You've ever worried about spelling the coupler "Kadee" or "KD."

*You name the places on your railroad after your wife and children.

*You've ever traced the route of a wire under your layout by pulling on it.

*Brass isn't something you polish, it's something you paint and weather.

*You spend more on your model trains in a year than some Third-World nations spend on the real thing.

*The latest issue of N scale railroading arrives on the same day as your federal tax refund check, and you open the magazine first.

*The latest issue of N scale railroading arrives on the same day as your state tax refund check, and the only reason you open the check first is so you'll know how much you can afford to spend as you read the ads in the magazine.

*You lobby to reorganize your N Scale club as a not-for-profit museum in a vain attempt to write off some of your hobby expenses as a charitable deduction and possibly receive a tax refund check one day.

*You've ever bought a freight car you had no use for, just because it looked so nice, and then bought more just like it, so it wouldn't look out of place.

*You've ever been tempted to send flame e-mail to someone whose only wrongdoing was outbidding you for that special engine on eBay.

*Your spouse gives you a some old newspapers, abag of foam and a box of Hydrocal for your birthday, and you're speechless with joy.

*You hate watching The Addams Family because of what Gomez does to those gorgeous trains.

*You've ever suggested that your wife's ceramic Christmas village needs a train running through it.

*Someone says she/he's finished their model railroad, and you sadly shake your head and say they've missed the point of the entire hobby.

*Your model trains run closer to schedule than CSX's do in real life.

*You have a manila folder in your desk (or a subdirectory on your computer) full of home-drawn trackplans that you know you'll never build, but they're too good to discard.

*You look forward to the latest announcements from your favorite engine maker with more enthusiasm than a six-year-old looks forward to Christmas.

*You think that three hours forming and mounting wire grab-irons on a caboose is time well spent.

*You never miss a chance to try and interest your children in your hobby, even teenagers in a "cars" stage.

*You've ever poured your heart into showing off your layout for friends, and their only questions are, "How much did all this cost?" and, "How fast can the engine go?"

*You sincerely believe that the concept of limited-run locomotives and cars was an evil plot dreamed up by the Devil himself.

*You're setting up a simple trainset to run around the Christmas tree, and you're mentally planning the scenery and structures you'll need "to make it look right."

*You hate collectors, because they drive up the prices of the equipment you're trying to collect. (But you're going to run yours, and that's different.)

*Your spouse assumes you can fix light switches, toasters, radios, and vacuum cleaners because "you know all about that wiring stuff from working on your trains, right?"

*You've ever told yourself, "Never again will I try to mount tiny coupler springs while working over a shag rug" or you rip same out to install indoor/outdoor flat carpet over the padding in your den.

*You've ever felt smug because you found an inaccuracy in a published photo of somebody else's gorgeous layout. Not that you'd ever say anything about it, of course.

*You've ever refused to buy a model freight car because the stencilled build date (which you had to squint to read) is a year off from the era you're modeling.

*You've visited a hobby shop on a busy day, and wound up answering detailed questions for other customers before you shop.

*You justify the money you spent at a train show as "just doing my part to improve the nation's economy."

*Your spouse gives you something expensive but inappropriate, like an articulated stack car when you model the 1950's, and you run it to avoid hurting her feelings, but the whole time, you're squirming inside.

*You refuse to buy an inexpensive, beautifully-detailed boxcar lettered for your favorite railroad, because the prototype car had 14 ribs and the model has 16!

*You feel compelled to browse in the local mall's hobby shop every time you go near it, even though you know they charge list price and have nothing you need.

*You've ever run two or more boxcars in a train, and hoped no one else noticed that they have identical road numbers.

*You've ever tried to justify bringing home a new freight car on the grounds that its your wife's favorite color or matches your shoes.

*You talk about the merits of DCC versus cab control at parties.

*Hardly a day goes by without you making progress on planning the layout you're going to build someday.

*Your family has ever eaten in the den because the kitchen table was buried in decals, tools, and detail parts for your latest project.

*You've ever gotten defensive with your railroading friends about buying a model engine or car from a manufacturer they hold in contempt.

*You've ever calculated how long your layout is in scale miles, and padded the number by adding the lengths of the sidings and spurs.

*It constantly annoys you that the kits for model truck, cars, and boats in the hobby shop aren't made to useful scales, like 1:160

*You've ever told anyone, "I can quit buying freight cars any time I want!"

[Anonymous]

You speak a lot of truth... experience I presume. Very Nice!!

[Anonymous]

[tup]Excellent! A "20 [plus] Questions" guide to diagnose our disease![8D][yeah]

Now: How about a 12-Step Recovery program to go with it?

[Grubby]

I am not addicted I can give up anytime I want....after next weeks train show [:P]

[dknelson]

I think it was Mark Twain who said "It's very easy to give up smoking. Why, I've done it dozens of times."

Dave Nelson

[Anonymous]

I was able to give up smoking but not MRR.

I like the sign that says: "I gave up model railroading - it was the worst weekend of my life."

Bob

[Anonymous]

I'm guilty of way to many of those...

[Anonymous]

That's a nice list - oh, so true!

Here's one from personal experience...

"When eating out and seeing a countertop, table, desk, etc. for the first time, you start figuring out what sort of minimum radius you could fit on it..."

[twhite]

When your English Professor asks you to please articulate your speech and you answer that you'll be happy to, as soon as you can find a longer boiler and an extra set of drivers.
Tom [:P]

[Anonymous]

You refer to a sexual experience as "Coupling"

[cheese3]

I fit most of that list exactly. I hated when i showed my cousins my railroad all thet were worried about was how fast the train can go. And the kitchen being taken up so your family has to eat in the den applies to me right now.

[dragenrider]

[:O] Oh, no! You are describing me!!!!! [:O]

I really am a rampant, rabid model railroader! [:P]

[cefinkjr]

You slow down approaching a grade crossing; hoping that you'll have to stop and be the car closest to the crossing.

[tommyr]

You hit the nail right onthe head! One thing you missed -you proudly show off your rr to someone who stands in the doorway & says "that's nice"

[Don Gibson]

How about becoming defensive when she tells company you "Play with train's".

NOTE: Terry

Great add-on for MR.

These are Jewel's.

[Anonymous]

Anyone out there every been caught "multitasking" ???

For example, I was sitting at the kitchen table this past weekend. The table was covered with my model RR stuff (scenery) on one end, and the other end I made enough room so that I could play Monopoly Jr. with my daughter with one hand while my other hand was painting some brick walls on a building...

[RedLeader]

When your kids stand infront their present boxes in christmas and tell each other: "Bet is another train set"

When someone asks about a certain structure and you know the exact page where it is in the Walther's catalog

When you prefer to tell the wife you were in a bar with your friends rather than telling her you were at you LHS checking the new 400 bucks DCC system.

When a girl wearing an engineer's cap is sexy.

You've ever had a B-day cake in form of an engine

Disney World is great because it has trains and monorails

You've entered the key word "4-8-8-8-4" in Google just to see if something appeared

You check more the MR forum than your e-mail server

Model railroading is more than a hobby, is a way of life...

You've ever wondered which piece of your collection to save first in case a fire

You've ever sworn by your trains

You've ever taken your son on your lap infront of the layout and told him: "Someday all this will be yours"

You've ever tryed to explain your kid the concept "realistic" operations while playing Thomas-the-Tank-Engine with him.

I could go on.... Ha HA HA HA

[Anonymous]

When your layout takes up more than 50% of your home.

When you have more invested in your trains than you do in your home and vehicle.

When you have to store some of your train stuff at other places because you don't have room for it at home.

Guilty as charged!

[Anonymous]

all very good.

Here are some of that I am guilty of.

You draft friends and family who aren't model railroaders to help run your model ralroad because not eneugh people showed up on operating night.

You build a hot-rod designed specificly for train chasing.

You ask the land lord for permission to install a wall-track system.

You sulk because you have to spend money on un-neccissary things such as bills because it takes money away from your model train budget.

Your local hobby shop can't keep locomotives in stock because you buy most of them.

You tried to talk your parents into buying you a brass passenger train as a christmas present.

You were a steam locomotive for holloweeen. (Ages 7,8& for me)

You move, and it takes 39 boxes just for the train stuff, and 10 for everything else.

Suddenly you proclaim "Behold!!! THE POWER OF STEAM" in public just to watch peoples reactions.

You ever dated a fellow railfan.

You have ambitions to rebuild Allen McClelland's V&O Afton Division because its loss is just to much of a shame to let stand.

Thats my list.

Thanks all for reading.

[cheese3]

QUOTE: originally posted by: Student of the Big Blue Sky

Suddenly you proclaim "Behold!!! THE POWER OF STEAM" in public just to watch peoples reactions.

I am going to have to do this one.I wonder what people will do. Only one way to find out.[:D]

[siberianmo]

I KNEW I'd get some mileage out of these, previously posted on Apr 9th in response to a similar question:

(1) You don't crack your knuckles, you couple them.[:)]
(2) You don't inventory your things, you place them in consists.[:D]
(3) You honk your car's horn at every intersection.[:)]
(4) You shout, "All aboard" at the most inappropriate times![}:)]
(5) You refer to the colors of your house and car as livery.[:D]
(6) You tell your favorite woman that in order to get started, a little momentum would help![}:)]
(7) You like referring to your adult pastime as "laying track."[}:)]
(8) You insist on getting your ticket "punched" at the theatre.[:D]
(9) You swear that FRED doesn't mean F-----G Rear End Device![}:)]
And
(10) You realize you can't drive a railroad spike with a tack hammer![}:)]

All but #10 are "Originals" just for you from Siberianmo![tup]

See ya![tup][;)]

[rtraincollector]

okay I guess I'm guilty too but My wife says I take the cake (she sat down and read these.
If you spend more at Christmas for the train set than you do for your wife's and kids presents combined lol

[stokesda]

If you've ever gone to a Chinese restaurant and studied your chopsticks thinking to yourself, "These things would make GREAT Douglas Fir trunks!!!"

[Ibflattop]

Hey Hows about when you are on Vacation in another city, and the First thing you do in your Hotel room is look in the phonebook for the Hobbyshops!!!!!!
You take the family on a roadtrip and you just happen to drive by a Trainshow!!!!
Kevin

[inch53]

Heres a couple more i'm proud of n there true
you go to yard sles for train stuff even toys

you do your garden land scaping around $5 n $10 yard sale battery trains

you enjoy thomas the tank engine tapes with the grand kids

you join a veterans group [40n 8] to drive their locomotive in parades

theres a bunch more i could come up with in just a little bit without trying

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Ibflattop

Hey Hows about when you are on Vacation in another city, and the First thing you do in your Hotel room is look in the phonebook for the Hobbyshops!!!!!!

Thought I was the only one who did this...[:)] With me it's checking the campsite phone box copy of the Yellow Pages (directory of local businesses - not sure if you have it over there) for model shops in the area (and getting annoyed when I trek down to the site entrance only to find someone has stolen the Yellow Pages!)

[Anonymous]

When you leave your Altamont timetables at home, go to every hobby store around to try and buy replacements, and are in agony because nobody has them (I did this in Colorado Springs).