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The wifey!

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  • Member since
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  • From: Potomac Yard
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Posted by NittanyLion on Thursday, September 22, 2022 9:21 PM

I have a 22x33 basement that I'm slowly refinishing to be the train room. She convinced me to cut down the "layout" area to 2/3rds of the space. At first I balked but I think the idea of a lounge for myself isn't a bad trade. She also had a request for a closet to store the bins of Christmas decorations.

Conversely, she has absolute authority in decor for the rest of the house. I think I made a fair trade. I like her taste anyhow. 

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Posted by PRR8259 on Thursday, September 22, 2022 8:32 PM

To make wifey happy I have only a modest layout in HO, along the long basement wall, with a return loop at each end, and 3 different scenes, two of which just blend into each other...and an 81 lineal foot mainline run.  The scenery is very rural and simplistic.

It kept wifey happy and left some play room for the kids in the basement, though my NOT allowing kids to throw balls around down there while playing was kind of a downer for the half a dozen sleepover parties my one son had...but that's a half dozen parties or so in 21 years.  He will be 21 in a couple weeks, and is pitching in college.  No baseball players come over any more; the others of his class are done playing (they all thought they were better than him, funny how that works out).

The trains still remain.  My younger son, 16 today, does actually have some trains and does use them occasionally.

I am interested in downsizing to a 5 x 9 or 6 x 10, for movement to the next and smaller house.  Wifey says keep the layout until we are ready to move.  It's built and paid for and not hurting anything where it is.  I have no illusions about my scenery and cats have been hard on it (eating the HO palm trees, corn field and pumpkin patch).  It's never going to get into MR.

I suppose I could have had more layout, but she thinks it is big enough, and I never really felt guilty about the right-of-way taken from the basement.  I was able to run my trains, as long and as fast or slow as I want, and simply railfan my own layout.  It's been a good 18 years.  I am ready to downsize the 1900 square foot house to a more affordable to heat and cool residence (thanks to the idiots in Washington making Russia and China great again at our expense).  My electric bills are up over 50% since May, with more cost increases coming (all electric heating and cooling).

My one friend who has 2000 freight cars and more than 300 engines, but no up and running layout, is always welcome to bring his stuff over here to run. 

John

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Posted by ATLANTIC CENTRAL on Thursday, September 22, 2022 8:16 PM

MJ4562

 

 
ATLANTIC CENTRAL
Any marriage that is not a reasonably equal partnership is doomed to failure. "she who must be obeyed" - I think not. "happy wife - happy life" works fine if there is mutual respect.

 

Quite right, 100% agree.  My wife knew I was into model trains (among many other hobbies) when she met me and is supportive.  That means I need to support her as well and not hog space and resources. 

 

 
ATLANTIC CENTRAL

My personal space at the new house is the entire basement. My wife goes down there about three times a year.

And I do have plans to build a detached garage, not as big as the last one, but big enough.

 

Beautiful home, Sheldon.  You folks back East don't realize how spoiled you are.  In the southwest there is no such thing as a basement and any space must be climate controlled or it's unbearable 4/4 of the year.  

 

 

Frost requirements for foundations here require depths of 3-4 feet. By the time you did a foundation that deep, building a basement is not that much more work or money. 

So basements are nearly free space here. Easily 90% of single homes have basements, and generally they are dry, temperature stable spaces with very low heating and cooling costs. 

In my case, the new basement is completely in the ground all the way around the house since we are on a very level lot. The basement temperature stays between 65 and 75 year round, and a dehumidifer keeps humidity at 35%.

Yes we are spoiled. I can tell you, this is the land of large model railroads. From my house, I could drive you to dozens of 1,000 to 2,000 sq ft layouts within a 30 mile radius - and that's just the guys I know.....

And while some areas here have high housing costs, prices in our area are mid range in the national average.

Thank you for the kind words about the house, it was the adventure of a lifetime to restore and live in for those years. Now at 65, I'm on to other adventures.

The new house is a lot different, and not new, built in 1964.

It is just the right size, for us and the trains.....

Sheldon

 

    

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  • From: Central Texas
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Posted by MJ4562 on Thursday, September 22, 2022 7:30 PM

ATLANTIC CENTRAL
Any marriage that is not a reasonably equal partnership is doomed to failure. "she who must be obeyed" - I think not. "happy wife - happy life" works fine if there is mutual respect.

Quite right, 100% agree.  My wife knew I was into model trains (among many other hobbies) when she met me and is supportive.  That means I need to support her as well and not hog space and resources. 

ATLANTIC CENTRAL

My personal space at the new house is the entire basement. My wife goes down there about three times a year.

And I do have plans to build a detached garage, not as big as the last one, but big enough.

Beautiful home, Sheldon.  You folks back East don't realize how spoiled you are.  In the southwest there is no such thing as a basement and any space must be climate controlled or it's unbearable 4/4 of the year.  

 

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Posted by NVSRR on Thursday, September 22, 2022 7:30 PM

My grandfather got smart.  Whne he lost his litle space for his 4x8 postwar lionel (whren it wasnt post war) (which that layout sat 5 feet left of where i am sitting to typ this)   he was bale to build a large 3 car garage,  he got smart by adding a whole second story inbstead of just a loft.    Always been trains up there since 65, and mine are up there now. Along with what was his when he was alive

 

Shane

A pessimist sees a dark tunnel

An optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel

A realist sees a frieght train

An engineer sees three idiots standing on the tracks stairing blankly in space

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Posted by ATLANTIC CENTRAL on Thursday, September 22, 2022 7:01 PM

When my kids and step kids were under 35, we had a big enough house that they could come back and not effect my personal space. A few came back for a few short stays. They quickly realized they could no longer live with their mother..... 

Today the wife would not let them come back, she would rent them a house first.....

My personal space at the new house is the entire basement. My wife goes down there about three times a year.

And I do have plans to build a detached garage, not as big as the last one, but big enough.

Any marriage that is not a reasonably equal partnership is doomed to failure. "she who must be obeyed" - I think not. "happy wife - happy life" works fine if there is mutual respect.

When we owned the 4,000 sq ft Queen Anne house, I had a 1,000 sq ft layout room above the 6 car detached garage I designed, and a model train workshop in the 1901 basement, which was otherwise not suitable for a layout of any size. Too many posts, low ceiling, a/c ductwork, bad arrangement of utilities, air handler, oil tanks, boiler, well tank, extra washer/dryer, extra frig, etc. 

The new retirement house, a brick rancher, has a nice basement, with the much simpler utilities nicely in one corner for the most part, no low hanging ductwork becasue the heat is hot water baseboard and the a/c is in the attic where it belongs in a rancher.

So I have a nice 1500 sq ft layout space and room for a workshop as well.

And the little bit of stuff she wants to store will fit nicely under the layout in plastic tubs.

She knew when we met I was a model railroader and she understood long before we moved in together with our combined five teenagers what my needs would be.

A deal is a deal - there are things that are deal breakers.

The layout I am starting now will be the third since we got together 28 years ago.

And after all, I fulfilled one of her biggest lifelong dreams. I restored this for her, and we enjoyed its luxury for 24 years.

You can see the whole photo spread here:

https://app.photobucket.com/u/carrollhome/a/bfdbd701-abf4-4d5f-bb20-786bbc5599c9

I am getting very cose to a point were I will scale back my business, and play with the trains and the red tractor.

The whole basement....

Sheldon  

    

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  • From: Central Vermont
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Posted by cowman on Thursday, September 22, 2022 6:59 PM

Rebuilding after a fire, walking up the stairs to the studded upstairs to the 13x22 space "That's the trainroom" from the wife's mouth.  Easy to agree to on my part.  As I was working about 25/8, set up a 4x8 for the grandchildren (me too).  Before any more progress, son moved home, took over tne space.  Now his son and girlfriend live there.  Me I got sent to the cellar, 7x14 space (1/3 original space that I had been buying for).  Now I go to shows to sell, not buy.  Having trouble getting motivated to get the 2' shelf up, I think if I once get started it will go well, but I'm hung up on the enterance gate.

Have fun,

Richard

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  • From: 4610 Metre's North of the Fortyninth on the left coast of Canada
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Posted by BATMAN on Thursday, September 22, 2022 6:50 PM

selector
"We decided that this room would do for the time being

When the alarm company was labeling all the doors and windows and motion detector on the control panel they asked the wife what to label the doors and windows and motion detector in the trainroom. She said trainroom window, trainroom door and trainroom motion detector. Then for my workspace said to call this the trainroom office.Laugh

We have a lot of people come through the house because of the wife's dog hobby. The husbands are right into the layout if they discover it, however, too many of the women folk are just horrified when they see it. One person who probably came over three or four times a year would never stop saying negative things about it. One day she said to my wife "how could you let him do this to your house"? I said to her "you know, not once has any of my friends asked me how I could let my wife have six dogs", to which my wife added, this was his house long before we ever got married. She has never been back again, my wife was just as tired of her as I was. There are a couple of others I would be happy not to see again. Their husbands must have a miserable existence. 

I am surprised by how many of the visitors have layouts, one guy had a huge British layout and when he spotted my layout through the door said "where have I seen this before"? Then remembered seeing it on this forum. Laugh

Brent

"All of the world's problems are the result of the difference between how we think and how the world works."

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Posted by wrench567 on Thursday, September 22, 2022 5:54 PM

  I once had the whole second floor of our little Cape house. Then a boomerang kid returned with a couple of little ones. I feel your pain and then some. I also have a common disease that affects lots of men. It's called Workshop Induced Financial Exhaustion. WIFE for short.

    Pete.

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  • From: Vancouver Island, BC
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Posted by selector on Thursday, September 22, 2022 4:54 PM

BATMAN

Sounds like a lack of communication. If you told her what you were going to do with the room before she had her own ideas, there shouldn't be a problem.

 

The old legal aphorism is, "Possession is nine points of the law."  (It gets mistated as, "possession is nine tenths of the law.")  When land goes unused for long, it tends to get encroached on.  Think squat houses.  I hope our OP can re-negotiate something more suitable for his needs, and them move milled lumber, bags of screws, a table saw, and a couple more hand-tools into the space, plus all his boxed train models and scenery stuff.

  • Member since
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  • From: Vancouver Island, BC
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Posted by selector on Thursday, September 22, 2022 4:48 PM

There is only one boss in our family, and Barb said I could be it.

Seriously, if a marriage has a shade more 'we' than 'I', it tends to make things much better for the marriage, the household, and for general reliability and well-being.  So, instead of my wife saying, "I let him have a train layout,' she would more properly, and in my case correctly, have stated, "We decided that this room would do for the time being and I'm happy he has an outlet...instead of hovering over me, lifting pot lids, asking if I would mind if he goes out for a beer or a coffee...." That kind of thing.

I hav....er...we have had two daughters come back to us.  When they are in a bind and need even a few months to get back on their feet, or even if they are moving from away to where we live, but with new work, I don't see how the missus and I could refuse.  It isn't a permanent thing.  They know they can't live rent-free forever, and when they begin to pay rent and find they're still around mom n' pop, they soon find other arrangements.  Bonus!!

One other point comes to my mind: if my wife and I had to delay a substantial train build because of circumstances beyond our control, I would ensure that she understands that I still have a legitimate claim to the space, and for the original purpose.  If her needs become a problem for both of us, we'd discuss it and figure out how to meet her needs.  I'd even be sure to do that first so that I can begin my train room, if it ever happens, unfettered and guilt-free.

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Posted by richhotrain on Thursday, September 22, 2022 4:36 PM

When I first got into HO scale, I went to the far end of our unfinished basement and set up a 4 x 8 table, 1/2" of plywood on 2 x 4 legs. That quickly grew to a 12 x 8 layout. Fast forward a year and I had a 24 x 12 layout across the far end of the basement.

My wife's sister and husband came over for a visit, and I took my brother-in-law down to the basement to see the layout. The girls followed. He was a committed HO scale addict with a basement-filled layout of his own. He eyed the wide expanses of my basement potentially available for more layout. He swept his hand like Moses parting the Red Sea and proclaimed, "This entire back wall could be a classification yard and hidden staging area. My wife's shoulders sagged as she remarked, "Nice going, Dave". His dream came true.

Rich

Alton Junction

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Posted by richhotrain on Thursday, September 22, 2022 4:29 PM

jjdamnit

Hello All,

As I've posted before, "She Who Must Be Obeyed" limited me to a 4'x8' pike that sits on the bed in the computer/spare bed/railroad room.

Recently we had to have the house appraised.

When the appraiser went into the computer/spare bed/railroad room she commented, "Oh, a train."

"She Who Must Be Obeyed" rolled her eyes and said, "Yes, that's what happens when you let him have a layout."

It was one of those, "What the wife sees vs. what the modeler sees, vs. what is actually there" moments.

Hope this helps. 

LaughLaughLaugh

That story had me laughing out loud.

Rich

Alton Junction

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  • From: 4610 Metre's North of the Fortyninth on the left coast of Canada
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Posted by BATMAN on Thursday, September 22, 2022 3:58 PM

An observation I have made over the years is that when one spouse has a hobby or multiple interests and the other doesn't that causes problems. In my case, my wife and I both have an interest in enough things and we are enjoying those instead of complaining about what the other is or is not doing. We are both extremely supportive of each other's pursuits. 

PWRS has a wish list for me and twice now the wife has come home walked into the office, given me a big kiss, and passed a new loco over my shoulder for no reason. So ya she is very supportive. Of course, it helps to have PWRS on the way home from many places.Laugh

Brent

"All of the world's problems are the result of the difference between how we think and how the world works."

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Posted by wjstix on Thursday, September 22, 2022 3:40 PM

Ya, I sometimes have to put my foot down and remind the wife that I'm the man of the house, and what I say goes.

She never answers back either.

Because she's laughing too hard to talk.

Stix
  • Member since
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Posted by BATMAN on Thursday, September 22, 2022 3:11 PM

Pruitt

I really don't understand the "take care of them forever" attitude so many parents have towards their children.

 

My kids are the furthest thing from deadbeats you will ever see. Our home is the family home and always will be, if something were to happen that my kids or other family members needed shelter the door is always open. 

My wife is looking at houses always as we will be moving to Vancouver Island at some point. She knows a trainroom is a must and has no issues dismissing a listing without one.

On what you get for your money as far as homes go. The two photos below are of my old house in a suburb of Vancouver and the house I moved to in the stix with a trainroom and theatre and huge garage on acreage so I don't have to see or hear neighbours, heaven. I was single back then the wife came afterward.

Old house.

 

New house. Same price as the one above, Lawn tractor a must.

 

When I moved in, I was 8 miles from the closest bus stop. Now it is about a mile, time to escape the madness and find solitude once again.

You get a lot more house in the country.

 

 

Brent

"All of the world's problems are the result of the difference between how we think and how the world works."

  • Member since
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  • From: CAPE CORAL FLA
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Posted by thomas81z on Thursday, September 22, 2022 3:09 PM

Doughless

 

 
BATMAN

Sounds like a lack of communication. If you told her what you were going to do with the room before she had her own ideas, there shouldn't be a problem.

 

 

 

I agree.  We are planning what our retirement will look like.  It likely will invovlve a move to SW Florida...possibly Mobile AL area.  No basements, so there will need to be a train room.  Wife is well aware.

A person can get more house in AL or central FL than SW FL, where SW FL would likely require a spare bedroom.  And we are looking for a retirement house for us, not another family homestead to keep 3 kids, spouses, and grandkids for 72 hour visits.

So we both know that we need a place that has a spare room for me...a big one..and the storage of her stuff under the layout.  We will continue to talk about how we are going to handle this as we go forward.

 

i live in southwest fla near kevin in cape coral & we are filling up fast

so your best bet for a celler / basement might be alabama.

i get around space issue by using my local hobbie shop layout to run a bunch of stuff.

I have or had a 20x22 garage layout then the wife discovered doing cups sooo

i gave up 1/2 of the garage to here for now

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Posted by jjdamnit on Thursday, September 22, 2022 3:06 PM

Hello All,

As I've posted before, "She Who Must Be Obeyed" limited me to a 4'x8' pike that sits on the bed in the computer/spare bed/railroad room.

Recently we had to have the house appraised.

When the appraiser went into the computer/spare bed/railroad room she commented, "Oh, a train."

"She Who Must Be Obeyed" rolled her eyes and said, "Yes, that's what happens when you let him have a layout."

It was one of those, "What the wife sees vs. what the modeler sees, vs. what is actually there" moments.

Hope this helps.

"Uhh...I didn’t know it was 'impossible' I just made it work...sorry"

  • Member since
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Posted by MisterBeasley on Thursday, September 22, 2022 3:04 PM

For some reason, the wife actually decided I should set up my trains that had been in boxes for over 30 years.  I think she was thinking of a coffee table loop to go around a Christmas tree, with Martha Stewart ceramic structures and artificial snow.  My train room was 24x24, upstairs from the garage.

I think she resented it, for no particular reason.  I suppose that is one of the reasons she's now the ex-wife.

It takes an iron man to play with a toy iron horse. 

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Posted by Doughless on Thursday, September 22, 2022 2:57 PM

SeeYou190

 

 
Doughless
A person can get more house in AL or central FL than SW FL, where SW FL would likely require a spare bedroom. 

 

When I was looking at larger houses a few years ago, the realtor showed me custom houses with "Man Lofts", "Pool Table Rooms", Dojos", "Studios", and "Workshops", all of which would have made great train rooms.

They just don't call them "Train Rooms" in the listings.

It turns out there are a lot of hobbys that require room in the house.

-Kevin

 

Yes, we've noticed this.  There are options.

- Douglas

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Posted by Pruitt on Thursday, September 22, 2022 2:36 PM

I really don't understand the "take care of them forever" attitude so many parents have towards their children.

  • Member since
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Posted by SeeYou190 on Thursday, September 22, 2022 2:34 PM

Doughless
A person can get more house in AL or central FL than SW FL, where SW FL would likely require a spare bedroom. 

When I was looking at larger houses a few years ago, the realtor showed me custom houses with "Man Lofts", "Pool Table Rooms", Dojos", "Studios", and "Workshops", all of which would have made great train rooms.

They just don't call them "Train Rooms" in the listings.

It turns out there are a lot of hobbys that require room in the house.

-Kevin

Living the dream.

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Posted by Doughless on Thursday, September 22, 2022 2:31 PM

BATMAN

Sounds like a lack of communication. If you told her what you were going to do with the room before she had her own ideas, there shouldn't be a problem.

 

I agree.  We are planning what our retirement will look like.  It likely will invovlve a move to SW Florida...possibly Mobile AL area.  No basements, so there will need to be a train room.  Wife is well aware.

A person can get more house in AL or central FL than SW FL, where SW FL would likely require a spare bedroom.  And we are looking for a retirement house for us, not another family homestead to keep 3 kids, spouses, and grandkids for 72 hour visits.

So we both know that we need a place that has a spare room for me...a big one..and the storage of her stuff under the layout.  We will continue to talk about how we are going to handle this as we go forward.

- Douglas

  • Member since
    January 2017
  • From: Southern Florida Gulf Coast
  • 18,255 posts
Posted by SeeYou190 on Thursday, September 22, 2022 1:34 PM

DonRicardo
Leave it to a woman to complicate matters!

I am in a similar (but worse) situation right now.

I was "THIS CLOSE" to having my train room in the space that was the master bedroom. Now we have a family member that needs to stay with us. They will be in the still unfinished new master bedroom, and we are in the partially dismantled old master bedroom.

This is not ideal. I really cannot blame it on my wife. Family needs to come first, and it is temporary.

Ulrich
Always keep the wife happy. 

ALWAYS

-Kevin

Living the dream.

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    February 2003
  • From: Guelph, Ontario
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Posted by Ulrich on Thursday, September 22, 2022 1:28 PM

This one's easy.. leave the shelves alone and learn to live with the smaller layout. Always keep the wife happy. 

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Posted by richhotrain on Thursday, September 22, 2022 1:13 PM

BATMAN

Sounds like a lack of communication. If you told her what you were going to do with the room before she had her own ideas, there shouldn't be a problem.

 

I'm with the OP. Leave it to a woman to complicate matters!

Rich

Alton Junction

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Posted by BATMAN on Thursday, September 22, 2022 12:28 PM

Sounds like a lack of communication. If you told her what you were going to do with the room before she had her own ideas, there shouldn't be a problem.

Brent

"All of the world's problems are the result of the difference between how we think and how the world works."

  • Member since
    August 2022
  • From: New England (Cape Cod)
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The wifey!
Posted by DonRicardo on Thursday, September 22, 2022 11:42 AM

I added a14x14 bonus room to our cellar, and put in a nice szed bathroom with the intention of having a train room and not having to go upstairs to use a bathroom.

This room is now a bedroom for one of our sons who has moved back in with us.

I was going to do an n scale around the room, so much for that.

Another room in the basement is my workshop.  That is 18x14. But when it was finished, wifey decided she needed room for more shelving and put two rather large shelf units in there too.

So now I am reduced to a 96"x44" layout, which isn't bad for a n scale set up. I am trying to get her to move her shelving into the laundry area so I can do an L shaped layout.

If I am stuck with the 44x96, the table will be on castors. Leave it to a woman to complicate matters!

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