model railroading and the wife

[jhoff310]

Back when I met my wife 10 years ago I told her I was a model railroader and she looked at me like " oh, a boy trapped in a mans body". I then told her a few years later that it was better than me spending my $$ on some stripper, heavy drinking, or other things. She finally saw the light of day a few years ago and hes expressed ALOT of intrest in Nscale. I model HO, I'm thinking for her b-day I will buy her enough stuff to where she can build her N scale layout
Jeff

[Anonymous]

I wonder what your wife would consider a "non childish" hobby? Tearing through the countryside on a $10K ATV or snowmobile? Restoring and old car (AKA "bottomless pit")? Betting on the horses? Making sawdust (woodworking)?

I've always had hobbies before and during our 38 year marriage, and my wife has never said anything negative. I don't tell her about the things I buy, figuring what she doesn't know won't hurt me! I'm probably one of the few hobbyists who has made income from my hobbies - modeling and photography - by my submissions to the model press. I've made more than I've spent.

Don't give up - suggest the alternatives that you could be doing!

Bob Boudreau

[raynbecky]

First, my wife fully supports my hobby even though she's not into it. She does help from time to time, giving advice and such, but that's about it.

No one mentioned the other potential problem. Perhaps you are spending too much time/money/effort on the hobby and not enough on the relationship? No accusation here, just bringing it up as a point of consideration. The only time my wife has ever complained about my hobby is when I'm too wrapped up in it. Frankly I'm glad she still cares enough about me after 22+ years of marriage to complain if I"m spending too much time in the train room.

[Roadtrp]

My wife is fine with the hobby, in fact has purchased all of my best equipment for me. Of course I leave bookmarked web sites to show her what I want, but she is fine with spending the money on train stuff for birthdays, Christmas, etc. My last birthday she bought me a Kato P42 Genesis locomotive and a set of Kato Superliners. For Christmas one of my presents was a Proto 2000 C424/425 locomotive that I had wanted.

Just last week my wife asked me if I would like to run up to the LHS and buy some stuff. Of course that may have something to do with the fact that there is a Pier 1 Imports store right next door to the LHS!!

[(-D]

[willy6]

My wife is happy with my hobby, she mentioned it keeps me out of the tackle shops drinking beer with the boys, she really does not get involved but will buy me a few "goodies" at times, however when her family comes over to visit( i hide) she's the first to have bragging rights of what i built, it's "honey show them that, show them that". she's a great woman.

[canazar]

Dark, sorry to hear of your woes.. ( I am very fortunate with my finacee, she is 100% behind me, and even joins me sometimes downstairs)

One possible way to get her to atleast accept it..... (humorus outlook, or heck, might work for real) Tell her you are going to take up Golf, like all over the other so called Grown Up men.

"Oh, look honey, I can get a new set of clubs and a bag for only 800.00.. on sale even! And the guys play every Sunday and the green fees are only 50.00 a round. Of course, I have to get the cart for the extra 15, since they get it. But dont worry, I will get private lessons so I can play with the others... Lessons are only 85.00 an hour. Oh wow honey I cant wait to go to the driving range for 20 bucks for balls. Whadda ya think honey...?"

I bet she'd leave you alone then. If not, try this, but only as a last resort....

All else fails, take her to dinner more and buy her moreflowers, gifts etc.. if she catches on to the extra attention... Tell her, "Well my dear, I am happier lately now that I have a hobby I enjoy and I want to thank you for letting me. So what would you like next my Love?" On your way to the department store for the new shiney whatever, just pick up your new train stuff on the same trip.

Best of Luck

John kanicsar

[jimrice4449]

If your wife equates "child like" with investing time and concentration on an activity that is inherently pointless, you might point out to her that that"s a pretty good thumbnail discription of virtually all recreational pursuits (start with golf). the "value" in a recreational pursuit lies in the recreation. Some have tangible additional benefits such as the exercise (minimal with golf since most courses want you to use a cart to speed up the game) or a finished product to provide a sense of accomplishment (such as the exequisitly rendered MR in your basement) Many, notably the most widespread, sitting slack-jawed and glassy eyed in front of a TV set, accomplish nothing more than killing time, which is the only thing most of us have that's totally irreplacable . How "adult" is that?
Sorry golfers. I just needed something to use as an example.

[Anonymous]

My wife knows that this is my contribution to "No child left behind".

[Anonymous]

I guess I was lucky. My wife told me to get a hobby and even bought the first "train sets" for me for Xmas back in 2001. When I retired in 2003 it was full speed ahead and then my wife decided to get into N scale. (I have HO)

She now has more locos and rolling stock than I do. (She has 3 Big Boys to my one!) I am helping her plan her new layout which is CB&Q, Alaska, UP & ATSF! She has mostly Kato, Life-Like & Rivarossi locos with a few Bachman, Con-Cor and a Proto Heritage 2-8-8-2.

Almost all of her rolling stock is MTL and Kato.

Makes me jealous, as most of my rolling stock is IHC & Life-Like and most of my locos are Athearn Blue Boxes except for my Rivarossi Challenger, Trix Big Boy and IHC Mountain.

But its great and we both enjoy trains!

[Jetrock]

darkstar974: Ask your wife if she would prefer for you to engage in a more mature, adult hobby, like heavy drinking, philandering, or spending all day watching professional sports! She may gain a new appreciation for a hobby that keeps you at home on weekends...

[eng22]

My wife is afraid that someday I will complete my layout and come up out of the basement.

[cefinkjr]

Darkstar:

I'm afraid you and I have the most common variety of wife. Some previous posts in this topic would seem to argue that you and I are in the minority but I don't believe it. [sigh]

You're not alone. And after 50+ years in MRRing and nearly 40 years of marriage, I have absolutely no encouraging advice for you. [sigh] [sigh]

Chuck

[darkstar974]

well i do tell her that it is a skillful hobby I just wish she could enjoy the hobby with me thanks for the advice

[jdolan]

My wife enjoys the hobby as much as I do and works with me on the layout and the finances involved with the hobby.
Jack

[mcouvillion]

darkstar974,

My wife finally accepted that I needed a hobby and that model railroading was better than bar hopping or chasing other women. She knows where I am, I keep out of her hair, and I don't spend too much (at least not too often!). It took many years for her to realize that my hobby wasn't competing with her for my time, it was complementing my time with her by giving me quality time doing something else I enjoyed. Now, she asks when I am "playing trains" with the guys, even when I don't have anything scheduled.

By the way, "playing trains" is a euphemism for hobby time. She knows that with the cost and technical skill required to do what my friends and I do with model trains, it is far from a kid's toy. I am involved with cutting edge electronics and applications and that isn't what kids do.

Mark C.

[mondotrains]

Hey Darkstar,
You need to point out to your wife that no "child" is going to be able to build benchwork, lay track, and wire a layout, at least not most children. But, more importantly, your wife needs to realize that there are a lot worse things you could be doing with your money.

My curret wife is thrilled that I found this hobby because before, I needed too much of her attention. In fact, my FIRST wife complained for 20 years that I "smothered" her and that I should get a hobby.

Hope this helps.
Mondo

[skerber]

My wife supports me in the hobby as long as I do not spend over my budget. She has told me she is thankful that I am involved with model trains, and not some other hobby.

[Anonymous]

I have one of those too. She is shocked at the prices of some of the more popular Diesels & Steam units.
She can't understand why I need a whistle and puffing sounds to have fun.

[fec153]

My wife got me into it. As long as I don't go crazy money wise, she supports me in the hobby.
Flip
[:D][:D][:D].

[CP5415]

Nope, you're not alone!

Gordon

[darkstar974]

I am wondering am i the only one with a wife who thinks model railroading is a childs hobby just wondering what othewrs think