model railroading and the wife

[MisterBeasley]

One of my hockey buddies tells his wife:

"Be glad I'm hanging out with a bunch of smelly guys instead of a bunch of smelly girls."

Wide bodies, huh? You modelling O-guage?

[robscaboose]

[:)][:)][:)] My wife visited the model train club I belonged to & made the following observation after seeing the wide bodies & nerds I hang out with. "I don't have worry about any female groupies hanging around you guys"

[MisterBeasley]

Whew. I was afraid I'd arouse the anger of someone with a bagful of clubs. (No, I'm not afraid. One of my "physical hobbies" is hockey goalie. My stick is longer. And those little balls? Don't make me laugh, eh?)

My wife pushed me to "set up the trains" as a way of getting me away from the computer and my serious Flight Simulator addiction. So, now she has to let me do it. Next step is the trip to Home Depot for the benchwork materials.

[MAbruce]

It appears to me that the main issue here is not so much how one’s wife feels about this hobby, rather that someone is calling it a “child’s hobby”. This in itself can be humiliating, but it seems that when a female has the audacity to say it (especially a wife) then it seems to have far more impact. I think this goes back to the “Geek Factor” of those who are involved in this (and other) hobbies.

Let’s face it, this hobby does have child-like attributes. We DO play with trains! They ARE toys! My only advice is – GET OVER IT. People will call you names for almost anything you do or don’t do. That’s life.

My wife is not into this hobby, but does admire my work. I do depend on her to keep me balanced. A hobby is defined as “an activity engaged in for pleasure and relaxation during spare time”. Once I start crossing over the “spare time” (and spare money) aspect of that definition, I both hope and expect her to speak up about it. What I don’t want to happen is for this “hobby” to turn into an “obsession”.

So for those of you who are whining about their wives complaints, can you honestly say that you are keeping this a “hobby”?

[MisterBeasley]

Well, I didn't take the "boozing and chasing floozies" comment the same way. The way I look at it, it's the type of person we aren't. There are husbands out there who drink too much and run around, but they aren't the type of person who will spend his other evenings in the basement pondering old traction equipment.

On the other hand, wives should worry if we suddenly lose interest in the trains and tracks. We might be thinking about some really evil change, like golf. If there's a hobby you can throw money at, I'd rather have a new locomotive at the end of the day.

[MidlandPacific]

I am very very lucky: wife's older brother loved trains, so the ground was well prepared. She doesn't care that much about the hobby per se, but she will ride the real ones with me, and when we were dating even suggested that we take the "Empire Builder" out to Glacier Park for a vacation.

[cisco1]

I gotta say, I'm blessed. My amazing wife even went to the G.A.T.S. with me last week. She gets me a renewal to MR every year and even runs the trains on occasion. For you guys who are struggling with a less than understanding better half, hang in there and remember there is still hope. As several of the gang have said, there's alot worse things to do with our time (and money!) [8D]
Chris

[Anonymous]

I didn't read all the other entries so this may be somewhat repetitive but my wife now endorses my being in this hobby since she realized that I could be 'elsewhere doing whatever' and that it wasn't her replacement. My monthly budget is mine to spend however I see fit as long as I don't buy another engine(!?) and I don't go overspend it very often. She even gets up there and helps me now and then.[:)]

[Bikerdad]

I just want to say that the "its better than boozing and chasing floozies" is the weakest, lamest, and most distasteful defense anybody can offer.

"Gee honey, if I wasn't doing this, I'd be an alcoholic and adultery." What does that say about you, about the sort of man and husband you may be? Why not just toss in "if I weren't out there flogging trains, I'd be in here flogging you" instead and make the abuse, addiction and adultery trifecta complete?

One last thing: what's she going to think if you set aside your hobbies? After all, you've already told her what you'd be doing if you're not active with your hobby...

[Anonymous]

I was a hobbyist when my wife and I started dating, and she accepted it somewhat reluctantly. About eight years ago, she took up scrapbooking, and all the (unstated) reservations about my own hobby disappeared. It's great!

[TurboOne]

Hey guys, hope everyone is having a great evening.

My wife helped, excuse me Mrs. Santa helped for 2 hours to rearrange packages so the train could be set up on two levels for Christmas delivery from Santa. She admires the buildings that my daughter has built, and hopefully it won't be long for her to join in as she likes crafts and woodwork. We have a lot of family potential here. Woooooooo Hoooooooooo. My 6 year old loves to design layouts with his wooden Thomas, and likes to run the trains on the big layout also.

Tim

[PennsyHoosier]

My wife think MRing is great. It has helped me hone my skills with the airbrush so I now can stencil HER kitchen, HER bedroom, HER living room, and HER dining room. So if I use the brush elsewhere, that's just fine in her mind.

And she actually likes the trains (but just to watch).

[Anonymous]

when I met my now ex-wife (and no, hobby time and money did not contribute to the "ex" part!!), I was in college and therefore not active in the hobby like I was in high school. But she knew about my scale modelling, which she could appreciate because she had helped her grand-dad run an RC car shop for years, and she liked crafts so she could understand and appreciate the work/craftsmanship involved. I also told her I was still interested in model railroading too and that I had every intention of getting back into it. I took her to a model railroad shop to show her a bit of what it was about - like some of you, she was a little surprised at the price but that was as close to a disparaging word as she got.

I sometimes wonder just how easy it will be to run into someone else as supportive of my vaired interests!

[Jetrock]

Scale dirt? I get real dirt for free, sterilize it and use it to model scale dirt...one of the reasons my wife likes my model railroading is because I show her all my various frugal cheap/free hobby techniques (and scrupulously hide and destroy the receipts from my trips to the hobby shop!!)

[Don Gibson]

WANT TO 'SELL' IT?

(1) It's a creative outlet for YOU, and (2) she won' t have to worry where to find you nights.- then shut up.

She'll think about it and decide it's in her interest.

[Anonymous]

Mine says were all wierd cause we buy "scale dirt"
but she moved her car out of the garage and let me convert it to a train room. She is the CFO and I have to choose wisely on what I spend my money on.

[jwar]

Returning back to MR after thirty five years of boating was A OK with the wife. My cruiser payments were overer $400 a month less the expense of dockage and maintainence.
However as most wives ( I think) think of the hobby as a money drain and very expensive. My budjet is far less then my previous hobby but she thinks of its cost. She does support if if only from a distance. She bought a roundhouse and a air brush for x-mas.

But on the other hand Im sort of a sage looking forward to need s of the hobby and saving my budget.
She wanted crown mouldings hmmm...better get a miter chop saw...she wanted a kitchen remodel...Hmmmm a table saw...better jig saw...and oh yeah honey I better get an air compressor and nail gun (was really thinking wouk be paramount to power a future air brush) and a better shop vac. All of which was a preplaned idea of remodeling a spare storage room for my train room.

So now she has a nicer kitchen, bathroom and a ton of crown moulding and is a very happy camper.

Being Im retired I dont work in the train room on her days off and the down side is all of our siblings cant come back, only have one spare bedroom.Hmmmm.

[SilverSpike]

Hey jdcott,

I am right there with you, it has become a family activity with us too. My wife and two sons are involved with the hobby too, going to train shows, the LHS, and collecting rolling stock, etc.

- Ryan

[Anonymous]

Guys,
My wife is a history teacher. Once I showed her the history behind the RR's, she started collecting memorabilia and liked the idea. I explained I can teach our sons about carpentry, mechanical and electrical work (good skills to have as a man!). Next, I offered to build a model of the station in her hometown and put it on the layout. She now wants to work on the scenery and help run trains. I took my direction from Dr Bruce Chubb who showed how everybody in the family contributes and benefits and gets to spend time together. It's pretty effective. The flip side of having a constructive way to spend leisure time is also helpful.

[SilverSpike]

When I meet my wife I already had a "train room" and she fell in love with the idea of it! She supports me all the way, in fact, I wanted to turn the garage into the train room, but it was her suggestion that we move the game room stuff into there and make the game room the train room. We are in the process of converting our game room into a dedicated train room, we (wife too) just pulled up some 40 year old tile and carpet in the room yesterday, I am preparing and cleaning the concrete slab today. We are going to lay new ceramic tile next week.

- Ryan

[eastcoast]

My model railroading came before I met my wife.
She was fully aware of it when she married me.
She is extremely supportive of my project.
This is a great way for me to stay out of the local bar
and off the streets, thus remain faithful. I have gotten
the kids involved as well inbetween the video games
that take over their lives.
I have not decided whether I love my trains or wife more ???[(-D]

[Jetrock]

While my wife is not actively interested in model railroading, she enjoys going on fantrips, museum visits and tourist railroad rides. She understands the enjoyable hobby aspect of model railroading--she used to do quite a bit of jewelry-making, which shares similar aspects of craftsmanship and working with tools. The stay-at-home aspect, as well as the fact that working on such projects has greatly increased my level of skill with woodworking, electronics and other home-project useful skills, are pluses.

"Boy trapped in a man's body"? As if there's any other kind! Women are no different...tag along the next time she goes clothes shopping, and you'll get to see a little girl playing dress-up in a woman's body. And there is nothing wrong with that, either.

[Anonymous]

I have full support from my wife and CFO. She got me a sub to MR for fathers day last year and is asking me to let her know when to renew for this year. She is also dropping hints to the kids on what to get. Sometimes I think she is more excited about the hobby than I am.

Happy MRRing.

Luc

[JPowell]

Well, mine supports me in the hobby, as long as I don't go over 'budget' as she is the CFO, although, she's not interested it it one bit. Oh well......life goes on.....

[grayfox1119]

I am one of the lucky ones that has full support of the wife of 44 years. Of course, for you "younger" modelers, you need to be "foxy" ( I guess that is why she calls me Grayfox ). What I did was to support her with Dept.56 Christmas village collection. It started as a Christmas gift back in 1988 with the original set of 7 buildings. She got so interested in this as a holiday setup, that we now have 6 4X4 tables that I set up November 1st, and it stay up until March 1st. ( Far too much work to leave up only 4 or 5 weeks. ) But, here is the advantage guys, she wanted some mountains so, she got very interested in scenery. So, like a good husband with an alterior motive, I showed her pictures from MRR mags on what she/we could do. She then said, " wouldn't it look nice to have a train running through the village"!! Yep, it sure would, how about a nice HO set because it is the same scale as the houses! DONE !! You see guys, get them interested in something that can merge with our hobby.....get your wife a few Dept56 houses next Christmas, and who knows where it will lead !!!!!

[tcf511]

My wife is very supportive and participates. She likes assembling building kits, painting people, etc. I get that look that we've all experienced if I mention the price of the latest BLI loco I bought so we've just sort of adopted a "don't ask don't tell" strategy. She doesn't go to as many train shows as I do but when she goes, we have a deal that anything she picks out doesn't count toward my budget. I'm very lucky.

[Anonymous]

I made sure my wife knew what she was getting into before she married me. She'll offer advice every once in a while, which is cool. She doesn't understand it, but she's very supportive in that she leaves me to "play trains" in peace.

Kevin

[steamage]

My first wife told me once: "Its ether ME or the Trains!" ... My second wife is happy with my model railroading hobby, as she has her own hobbies.

[Fergmiester]

Well I posed this question to the CFO directly as I read this and this was her response.

"You don't want to know"

The comment came with the "look"! Though she just bought me aChallenger for my BD [:D]


Fergie