When your family hates your hobby

[Anonymous]

Such insensitive remarks can only lead to self-doubt. As you seem to know, there is more at work here than a dislike of your hobby. Without pretending to know the source of their attitude, I can say it is important for you to maintain and build self-confidence. At 24, your primary efforts should be in completing your education & securing a good job. With those out of the way, other things will fall into place, your own apartment or house and room for a layout.

Despite your signature, all criticism is not destructive and to forge ahead despite it is foolish. Again, I couldn't know what prompted the comments about hurting yourself with power tools but if it because of a lack of experience or skill, that is an area that you should approach with care. Learning to use power tools safely isn't exactly rocket science but if you have no skill with them, you should seek out help from someone experienced and in possession of all their fingers.

Are there any Model Railroad clubs in your area? They are a good source of information, support & friendship from people of all ages sharing a common interest. (I wi***here was a club near here. I miss the club that was forming when I lived in the Hudson Valley.) You can work on & learn all phases of model railroading without disapproving eyes and without requiring a square inch of space in your home.

It's important for you to realize that at 24, you are an adult. Hard for some parents to accept, I know.

Wayne

[Trainnut484]

I'll throw in my two cents here. My parents kinda scoffed at my MR hobby, but they knew it could be worse. I could've been frequenting street corners, casinos, strip clubs..etc..etc, and NOT have something (positive) to show for monies spent.

I hope your parents can realize that you have something to show for monies spent. On the other hand, don't get carried away spending on trains when you could be setting some back for living expenses.

Take care,

Russell

[tatans]

Many parents with children can't realize the difficulty this generation is in with no jobs and its not like it WAS in their generation, hang in there buddy, it does get better, I wonder what your parents would say if you told them you were giving up model railroading and decided to sit in a bar all day, hmmmm.

[jfugate]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Neerie

I'm 24 years old ...

... they complain I don't talk to them about the things I like, but when I do they say I'm stupid for liking certain things. They criticize me when I spend time on the computer, when I watch TV, when I read, because they say I don't get out enough, but when I do get out, they complain that I'm not there to do house work (which I do when I'm at home anyway).....

Some people inherently have a negative view on things, and once you realize that's how they think, it's a little bit easier to take. I recall one woman I worked with who used to always get under my skin because she always jumped all over me about things whenever I had to speak with her about something.

After a while I realized she treated everyone that way and it was her disposition. That realization made her a lot easier to take, and I actually found the whole thing kind of humorous because she was such a sourpuss all the time.

Both of my kids have finally left home, but it took a while. During the stage when they're old enough to be adults but given today's economic realities, unable to go it on their own financially, it can be very awkward. The children are trying to be their own people and the parents aren't sure where and when to give advice or just keep quiet. It's best to just cut them lots of slack. Letting your kids leave the nest and try it on their own is hard.

As to the hobby, just tell them you enjoy reading about it like they enjoy reading a good book or watching a good movie. If they pester you, ask them if they think you ought to tell them what their interests ought to be in books and movies?

Sounds to me like they are struggling with the concerns of facing an eventual empty nest. Parents don't always make sense since it's as big a change for them as it is for the kids. You get really used to a certain lifestyle after 20+ years, and change is hard.

[Roadtrp]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Neerie

They know I don't intend of building a layout while I'm still there, there's no space for it anyway, beside, I would not build something just to move away in a year or so.

If that is the case I really don't know what they would have to complain about. Try to ignore the negative comments to whatever extent you can.

[:)]

[Noah Hofrichter]

Neerie, I think the message in you signature sort of fits here.......

Noah

[Anonymous]

They know I don't intend of building a layout while I'm still there, there's no space for it anyway, beside, I would not build something just to move away in a year or so. So far, I've only bought a few MRR books for a total worth or around $70 CAD, it's not the end of the world, beside, I pay them a rent each month...not to mention that the last time I tried to move out they were the ones who did everything to keep me from doing it.

[Roadtrp]

Speaking as a parent who has had a 24-year-old son live at home...

Most parents don't anticipate that their children will still be living with them at that age. I realize that it is necessary at times because of financial situations, as it was with my son. But I don't think it is a particularly good arrangement for either the parents or the kid, and it creates conflicts over things that would not normally occur.

My guess is that mom and step dad are thinking "Every $ he spends on train stuff is one $ less that he is able to save up to get his own place". I would let them know that you want to maintain your interest in model railroading, but you don't intend to actually start building a layout until you are on your own.

It really wouldn't be fair to your parents to start up an expensive hobby at a time when you are relying on them for support. You will have many years to build your layout when you are living independently. Keep reading and visiting these boards to maintain your interest until then.

This may not be what you wanted to hear, but I am being as absolutely honest as I can.

Good luck!! [:)]

[Anonymous]

I'm 24 years old but still lives with my mother and step father due to being a student and appartments being very expensive here. For a few months now, I've been putting more interest into model railroading, only reading and getting informed so far, as I don't have the money nor the space for a layout yet.

What saddens me is that since model railroading is not something that my parents are interested in, they can't help but constantly 'spit' on it and saying that it's only a waste of time for me to get interested in the hobby now, since I can't build a layout just yet. My mother even started to tell me that I will never be any good with power tools and that the day I want to build a layout I'll have to pay someone to do it [:(][V]

No matter what I try to say, they always complain that it's all only a waste of money, that I'll just get hurt when using power tools and whatnot. They even told me there were hating model railroading because I like it so much [xx(]

I just don't know what to do anymore, they complain I don't talk to them about the things I like, but when I do they say I'm stupid for liking certain things. They criticize me when I spend time on the computer, when I watch TV, when I read, because they say I don't get out enough, but when I do get out, they complain that I'm not there to do house work (which I do when I'm at home anyway)..... [banghead][banghead][soapbox]