Create Your Own April Fool Article

[richhotrain]

A recent thread on this forum lambasts Model Railroader magazine for its lame April Fool article this year in the April issue.  I agree.  My favorite past April Fool article was the one about the ceiling layout.  But, this year's attempt just doesn't cut it.

So, why not write our own April Fool articles and maybe lend a hand to the editors of MRR fto give them inspiration as they comtemplate future issues? 

Here is my contribution:

After recently quitting my job in anger because I couldn’t stand my stupid boss any longer, I couldn’t make my mortgage payments on my 6-bedroom, 7-bath mansion, so the bank foreclosed on me and now I live in a studio apartment with one bath. 

 

No matter, I rarely bathe anyhow, so I turned the bathroom into my new model railroad area.  I converted the sink and countertop into a work area, and the bathtub proved an ideal site for my latest layout.  I laid the track on the bottom of the tub, leaving room in the center for my guests to sit while bathing.  That can actually work to your advantage because the rounded edges of the tub act to create super-elevated curves.

 

A couple of words of caution may be in order.   Test your handiwork before finalizing anything.  When I first filled the tub with water after setting up the initial track plan, all of the track floated to the top.  I had forgotten to secure it to the bottom of the tub. I readily solved the problem with HO scale track nails.  However, after a frantic call from the neighbor below me, I drained the tub, sealed the holes and used waterproof caulk to secure the track. 

 

Wiring is a bit more of a problem because it is an excellent conductor of electricity.  I did not know that until I let my pet ferret, Espy, jump into the layout while running trains.  My LHS guy suggested Enviro-Tex as an alternative, to simulate real water.  It is non-conductive, so that problem was readily solved.  But, Enviro-Tex is a two-part resin material that dries to a glossy surface, and I have not solved that problem yet, much to my first guest’s annoyance when we had to call 911.  Not to mention, the degree of difficulty in trying to remove the dried material from the track.

 

All in all, I highly recommend Bathtub Layouts, but they do require some practice to make perfect.

[stokesda]

Good idea... about reader-submitted ideas, I mean. (Your gag idea was good, too. Much better than the one in the magazine this year)

I was actually thinking along the same lines (for reader-submitted gag ideas, that is). I thought it would be a good idea if MR turned it into a contest. Submit an idea for an April Fool's gag, the winner's idea gets published in the April issue. Other assorted prizes to be handed out to 2nd & 3rd place, etc.

I'd imagine the hardest part of this from MR's perspective would be poring through thousands of entries to decide which one is the best. That's a heck of a workload to impose on oneself. Not sure if MR would be willing to take on something like that, but I guess it's worth asking.

[MisterBeasley]

I'll submit this picture:

 

[jwhitten]

 FACE-ON-MARS FINALLY REVEALED

NEUTRAL SCIENTIST - Kennedy Space Center, Florida

 

Some of you may be familiar with the "Face-on-Mars" mystery and the
subsequent controversy that arose following the original Mars survey
mission in the late 1970's. For nearly two decades various factions
ranging from Nobel Laureates to Ufologists to self-styled religious
revivalists have debated the true nature and meaning of the shadowy blob
that has come to symbolize the red planet and more broadly, man's quest
for sentient life elsewhere in the universe. Recently NeuSci decided
to hit the road to find out firsthand what the mystery is all about.

NASA officials have for years attempted to explain the strange formation
as an anomolous finding, a serendipitous happenstance, a random occurance
in which the light from the sun falling on the face of the formation,
which they claim is mostly ordinary rock, is just a coincidence. And
its only points to the inherent human desire for mystery that combine
to create and prolong the andopomorphic visage.

Dave Mathis, a NASA research scientist, speaking on the condition of
anonoymity, says that "Humans have always looked at random topographies
and attempted to find familiar shapes within them. For instance how many
of us have at some point in our lives sat back on a hillside and looked
up at the clouds to see a dog or a bunny?  Its only natural."

John Littlehorn, a noted Ufologist based near the Roswell, New Mexico
area, disagrees.  "That face is complete proof that there are aliens"
he says. NASA has been attempting to dodge the issue and misdirect
attention away from the truth for decades. At first they tried to
cover it up and then realized that wouldn't work, so they came out
with an innocent-sounding explanation in hopes that would work. Well,
it doesn't. There's a lot of us out here who know the truth. And we're
not going to stay silent for much longer."

While we were talking to John Littlehorn, we were approached by the
Reverand Terrance Hammond, of the Trinity Church located just outside
Roswell on Pine Lodge Rd, who wanted to make it clear to us that
the shadowy face seen on Mars was nothing short of a miracle. "When
you're looking at the face on Mars", Hammond says, "you're looking at
an other-worldly homologous portrait that has to have been divinely
inspired. Since humans have never traveled to Mars, it must have been
put there by the hand of God, or else an extra-terrestrial race acting
as God's agent."

Littlehorn nods in agreement. "That could be another interpretation"
he suggests, "or else it could have been carved into the rock millions of
years ago by another space-faring race with advanced knowledge of lasers
and map-folding". At which point both Littlejohn and Hammond walked off
discussing the various indicators which "prove" their viewpoints.

This morning NASA scientists have for the first time released the results
of the latest surveys performed by the "Mars Global Surveyor" mission
which was sent to Mars to study the polar regions for signs of water and
map out potential areas for further exploration. NASA revealed that there
was a little-known carefully-guarded side mission to re-survey the area
containing the mysterious "Face-on-Mars" formation, and have released
unambiguous pictures which remove all doubt as to its origin and meaning.

NeuSci has obtained a copy of the images released by NASA today so you
can look upon the face and judge its meaning for yourself:

 

 NeuSci

 

richhotrain:

A recent thread on thisforum lambasts Model Railroader magazine for its lame April Foolarticle this year in the April issue.  I agree.  My favorite past AprilFool article was the one about the ceiling layout.  But, this year'sattempt just doesn't cut it.

So, why not write our ownApril Fool articles and maybe lend a hand to the editors of MRR ftogive them inspiration as they comtemplate future issues? 

 

So how'd I do !?!?!?

         

 

John

[cudaken]

 NMRA Press Release.

 Due to complaints from modelers about poor quality control all manufactures must now summit a prototype model of all engines, rolling stock, track, turnouts, DCC Systems and decoders must be summited for testing at NMRA new testing faculties.

 Testing faculties will be located in Maryville IL. Cuda Ken will be in charge of the less than state of the art faculties. Spokesperson stated "when it came a person to test the quality and endurances Cuda Ken was the only modeler that could truly test there durability in a reasonable time frame. If there equipment can last 30 days under Ken's control it will last 20 years on other models layouts"!

 In responses Digitrax announce they are starting development on a new HO 25 amp decoder! Athearn is all so stopping all powered engines and HO scale rolling stock. They are going focus all the sales toward wood train sets.

        Cuda Ken

[rrinker]

MisterBeasley

I'll submit this picture:

 

 Let's see, you have the name, the address, a hound dog, and white sequin jumpsuit Elvis....

now, who slammed th front door so hard it literally bent?

[Darth Santa Fe]

Manufacturers of HO scale steam engines made a major joint decision this month that will change model railroading as we know it. Broadway Limited started the conversation that led to the decision by saying, "We've all been making far too many large steam engines, and the market is flooded. The modelers who want something smaller have been practically over-looked by many of us (the manufacturers), and it's time that they finally get what they've been waiting for." The agreement was unanimous, and the manufacturers have promised that we should be seeing new small steam engines from each of them by next year. MTH and BLI announced that they will be working together to bring out their new products, so as to eliminate all possible delays. We are excited to see what quality products will be released for this large, neglected market.

[MisterBeasley]

rrinker

Let's see, you have the name, the address, a hound dog, and white sequin jumpsuit Elvis....

Dude!  You missed the Blue Suede Shoes!

 

[MisterBeasley]

jwhitten

can look upon the face and judge its meaning for yourself:

 

 

Outstanding.  LOL outstanding.  A long time ago in an observatory far, far away, I was the first human being to "see" the Grand Canyon of Mars, a staggering geologic feature that dwarfs the gully in Arizona.  Never got credit, as the prof who was running the whole thing never published it after the Viking orbiter stole his thunder.  But yeah, that's the stuff model railroad hysteria is made of.

[last mountain & eastern hogger]

This just off the wire >>>>>>>>>>   The Sacramento BEE Newspaper has just announced That the National Parks System has formally released details on the proposed and now confirmed closure of the Keddie Wye in the Feather River canyon.  This magnificent structure will be turned into part of the National Parks and Trails system for hiking and biking officially closing the Gateway to the north and forcing the BNSF Railroad to find an alternate route. The same goes for the Union Pacific  Railroad that will now be forced to use the former Southern Pacific Railroad  right of way enroute to Ogden Utah.from the Pacific.  This change will come into effect on Independance Day (July 04 2010).

The Keddie Wye is and was a very famous landmark of it's original owners the Western Pacific Railroad.   .May they never be forgotten.

 Stay tuned for the latest in Railroading news............

Johnboy out...... for now.

[jwhitten]

Darth Santa Fe

Manufacturers of HO scale steam engines made a major joint decision this month that will change model railroading as we know it. Broadway Limited started the conversation that led to the decision by saying, "We've all been making far too many large steam engines, and the market is flooded. The modelers who want something smaller have been practically over-looked by many of us (the manufacturers), and it's time that they finally get what they've been waiting for." The agreement was unanimous, and the manufacturers have promised that we should be seeing new small steam engines from each of them by next year. MTH and BLI announced that they will be working together to bring out their new products, so as to eliminate all possible delays. We are excited to see what quality products will be released for this large, neglected market.

 

 

That one is obviously a gag. 

 

[dknelson]

rrinker

Let's see, you have the name, the address, a hound dog, and white sequin jumpsuit Elvis....

now, who slammed th front door so hard it literally bent?

You missed the best part: he's clearly left the building!

Dave Nelson

[Darth Santa Fe]

jwhitten

That one is obviously a gag.

Someone who's new to MRRing might not realize that so quickly.

[Packer]

Manufactuers have stopped making "limited production" models.

[Heartland Division CB&Q]

Government of India seeks ideas from model railroading community.

Model railroaders, are known for the creativity, and now the goverment of India would like ideas to design the fronts of locomotives to keep from harming elephants when struck by trains.

Here is a news article to illustrate the problem:  

Coimbatore, India; Feb 4, 2008 (ANI): : Three elephants were run over by a speeding passenger train passing through Pakkalad railway track of a village in India's southern Coimbatore of Tamil Nadu during the early hours of Monday, February 04th. The elephants, including a pregnant elephant were crossing the railway track when the train hit them. According to officials, the elephants might have come hunting for a safe refuge for the pregnant elephant.

Perhaps, a cow catcher can be modified to catch elephants without injuring them.

Models of the Grand Trunk may have a leg up.

Please submit your designs by April 1, 2010 for consideration.

[jwhitten]

Heartland Division CB&Q

Government of India seeks ideas from model railroading community.

Model railroaders, are known for the creativity, and now the goverment of India would like ideas to design the fronts of locomotives to keep from harming elephants when struck by trains.

Here is a news article to illustrate the problem:  

Coimbatore, India; Feb 4, 2008 (ANI): : Three elephants were run over by a speeding passenger train passing through Pakkalad railway track of a village in India's southern Coimbatore of Tamil Nadu during the early hours of Monday, February 04th. The elephants, including a pregnant elephant were crossing the railway track when the train hit them. According to officials, the elephants might have come hunting for a safe refuge for the pregnant elephant.

Perhaps, a cow catcher can be modified to catch elephants without injuring them.

Models of the Grand Trunk may have a leg up.

Please submit your designs by April 1, 2010 for consideration.

 

 

I think their best strategy is likely to be teaching the trains to duck!

 

John

[MisterBeasley]

Do you mean to tell me that the announcement by MTH that they would be shipping DC and DCC-ready locomotives without DCS decoders was an April Fool's joke?!?!?