Who here has family members who dont like your hobby?

[jeffrey-wimberly]

I'm 47, unmarried, no kids, own my home (57 year old 25 foot trailer) free and clear, same goes for the car. I'm disabled and can't work so I use my hobbies to pass the time. It's about an equal split between building and programming computers and model railroading, with the layout taking the lions share of the time. My problem family member is my father. He loves the fact that I can dismantle, rebuild and reprogram a computer in my sleep, under water, blindfolded with one hand tied behind my back, mainly because when his computer has a program it gets fixed free. See the connection here? His grandfather was an avid model railroader. Not so his father who thought they were all worthless toys not worthy of a 5 year old and no son of his was going to play with kid toys. Naturally my father didn't take up the hobby and follow in his grandfathers footsteps. Now bear in mind that this is the man who got me into the hobby in the first place, but he won't have anything to do with it. He too thought they were worthless toys until he picked up one of my Walther's catalogs one day. His jaw drooped when he saw the prices and features on some of the higher end models, the kind I like to get. He then asked why I couldn't be content with the cheaper (LifeLike and Bachmann standard line) locomotives. I told him that I probably could but have to replace them about three months. You get what you pay for. He says it's a shame that I want to waste my money on this kind of hobby. I tell him that it's my money to waste and that I don't tell him how to spend his money so he shouldn't be telling me how to spend mine. Now he sees these locos that I'm getting in the mail from people who want nothing for them, just so that they go to someone who's going to take care of them. He's convinced that somehow I'm buying these, that nobody would simply give such things away. I told him that that is one of the good things about this hobby. If you help others and other people see it, it's possible that they'll help you. I'm not a master of this hobby and don't claim to be. I just do what I can with what I have. No matter how I try to explain it to him he just can't see that the hobby is very rewarding though expensive. IMO he shouldn't be worried about it. He's not the one paying for it. He still thinks it's a waste of valuable time.

[secondhandmodeler]

I think a few modelers are a little more obsessed than they realize.  I partially include myself in this group.  If you are neglecting your work, family, or other responsibilities, then you're going too far.  If it's merely a hobby, then there are far worse things you could do with your time and money.  People will ridicule things they are ignorant of.  I don't care if it's a sport, hobby, culture, race, or religion.  Some people think we should all be the same.  That's not going to happen.  If model railroading floats your boat, great!

[Driline]

Not anymore. (HAPPILY divorced...)
My brother used to like trains when we were younger, but these days , he's only allowed to enjoy what his wife tells him he can.

So she carry's his ***** in her purse does she? Sounds like my little brother.

[loathar]

Not anymore. (HAPPILY divorced...)
My brother used to like trains when we were younger, but these days , he's only allowed to enjoy what his wife tells him he can.

[ThatNScaleGuy]

Let's see....Been married to wife for 15+ years now, she approves whole-heartedly of my hobby.  She is wanting me to finish rebuilding my train room and get the new layout up and running.  Wife has found out that there are NOT a bunch of drunks, bums, thieves and low-lifes involved with model trains.  Knows that my group of modelers aren't in the BAR, we're in the BASEMENT.

My parents, sister, her family, wife's brother, his family and most everybody else even closely related knows that Trains, and Model Railroading are my HOBBY.  A hobby which is a great STRESS RELIEVER in today's crazy, high speed, look at me world.

I can't think of anybody in my immediate family that doesn't like/care if I go on train rides, chase steam trains, or have a model railroad in my basement.  In fact most of them will ask me how progress is coming on the layout and when can they see it.

If somebody doesn't like my hobby of Model Railroading: TOO **** BAD!!  The door is right over there, don't let it hit you *** on the way out!!!!

 

[Phoebe Vet]

"What gave you the impression that I needed or requested your approval?"

...unless, of course, the problem person is your mate.  Their opinion DOES matter.

Mine says:  "I'm really busy here.  Don't you have something that needs doing in the train room?"    ROFL.  She bought me a 4-6-2 K-4 Pacific for Christmas.

[tatans]

Tell him you are going to give up MR and spend the same amount of time propped up in a seedy bar slugging back rum and cokes, in fact take him down to  a local joint and make him watch these non-modelrailroaders sharing their life( and livers) with all the other losers, and remember, these guys are there every night.  Just keep on doing what you are doing and you know it's right. Ask your other relatives what they do that is constructive in their lives. (as previous replies, ignore him)

[BlueHillsCPR]

62 Years old married for 38 years.  Wife knew about trains before we got married.  The in-laws however are a different story.  Don't approve of the hobby or me.  At this point I could care less.

 

To all of you guys with unsupportive family members:

As I said in another thread recently.  Family, especially extended family, and particularly family that can't keep their pointless, uneducated, unenlightened opinions to themselves...are highly over rated! Next time they have something to say about your hobby I suggest you show them the door, hang up on them without preamble and invite them to get lost and not bother being found.

[luvadj]

I've been married for almost 8 yrs. to the same wonderful woman and have a 5 1/2 yr old daughter and a 16 yr old daughter from her previous mariage. We all love trains and the layout. It's a great way to spend quality time together.

My sister and brother on the other hand think it's cool, but a waste of time. 

[Fergmiester]

Funny how this topic just keeps coming back. I for one have been fairly lucky as I have been married for 18 years and have two kids and though the family doesn't object to the hobby they're not into it. Dad supported "our" hobby and is responsible for many of my aquisitions. I was also lucky as before we got married My fiance said "when we get a house there will be a wreck room to put all your Nautical stuff in..." She really didn't care for the brass bell, Port and Starboard Lights or the brass porthole end table. She really didn't like the Rum barrel used for the TV stand, personally I thought it was neat! So we bought a house she got her dining room I got the basement. It was a win win situation. Like anything it's about balance the house work and "Round-tuit" list has to get done in order to keep everyone happy. I have my space and the rest of the family has theirs except they wish the Layout was a tad smaller as 1/3 of the basement is occupied by it. As for your Dad sounds more like he's worried it takes up too much of your time and maybe loosing sight of other responsibilities. That's really up to you and him to work that out. The big part of our problem as Model Railroaders is perception. The majority of people see this as childs play and for supposed adults to be playing with trains it's rather childish. So my advise, well I really don't know what to say as the immediate family sounds very happy and enjoys it and for that consider yourself very lucky as this hooby has the potential to break up marriages and I suspect it already has.

 

Fergie

[ndbprr]

62 Years old married for 38 years.  Wife knew about trains before we got married.  The in-laws however are a different story.  Don't approve of the hobby or me.  At this point I could care less.

[AltoonaRailroader]

Since we're openning up a little here. I'm 37 and I've been married for 5 yrs, been with my high school sweet heart since 2000, had a wonderfull little girl 2.5 yrs ago and I have a job as a System Administrator for the Registrar's office at Penn State U. I did five years in the Navy as a Gunner's Mate and four of them were on a Destroyer. Ugh!!!! Avoid that if you can.

My wife supports my hobby 99.99% of the time and is glad to see that I'm spending my time at home, even if it is downstairs with the trains, instead of drinking all the time, which was getting out of control last year. And that in turn has helped me with smoking because I only smoke cigerettes when I'm drinking most of the time. So all in all it has been a healthy life change for me to submerse myself in this hobby. I do most of the modelling but my wife does help me out, for instance she came down and painted my blue desert brown and I gotta say it looks MUCH better than all that blue, ick. My baby girl likes the trains but is too young to do too much other than watch them go by until she feels like she needs to grab them as they go by. LOL

I really haven't had anyone make comments one way or the other about my HOBBY, which is all it really is, and most hobbies are good for you, most of the time. They might think I'm a little weird but I can deal with that. And hey, if they don't like me, or my hobby the door is always in the same place and they know how to use it.

[Phoebe Vet]

No.

[MisterBeasley]

[rant] My wife, who originally suggested pulling my trains out of the attic and setting them up, now resents the whole thing.  Somehow, I think she believes that if I didn't have the trains, I would want to go to Yoga classes with her, and join the Garden Club in town.  Well, no, not really...

My daughter wishes the trains would go away so all that space in the family room would be available for that one day every six months or so when she wants to have a bunch of friends over.

My sister thinks the whole thing is rediculous, too.  Well, I think she's a bit over the top with the antiques and the cats, but, well, it's her thing, so I'm happy she's got something she enjoys.  I don't go around criticizing other people for what they like to do, and quite frankly, I wish she'd keep her opinions about me to herself.

Well, maybe I should take up golf and spend 10 thousand or so to join a club, and then spend every Saturday and Sunday on the course.  Or give them back the family room, and spend my days in some sports bar, drinking and flirting with the women that some other guy got tired of putting up with. [/rant]

[Dave Vollmer]

Glad to hear from another bluesuit model railroader (I'm 12 years active USAF and counting!).

Funny, my Dad got me into trains...  and now I'm getting my sons into them.  My wife supports the hobby, and her father is also a train fan (and a Pennsy fan to boot!).  My mother could take or leave the trains, but she never makes an issue of it.

The question your father needs to ask himself (or maybe you need to ask him) is would he rather you not be happy just so you can make him feel better?

Of all the things people find to make themselves happy in their spare time (drinking, online gaming, gambling, porn, etc.) model railroading is pretty darned wholesome and creative.  You're not hurting anyone with it.  Nobody at your Dad's work is harrassing him about his train-obsessed son.  Seems to me it's his problem alone.

Good luck.

[hubbards98]

Personally, I would say that it is none of his buisness and I wouldn't be long telling him such...I can see if you were 12 and you neglected your school work or other obligations, but you are a grown up adult living with your family in your house and your house (and your wife) then your rules...plain and simple

[sparkyjay31]

I'm 35, 2 little kids (5 and 7), married 12 years, also former service (Navy Seabee), and the Sr. Estimator for one of the largest General Contractors in the state.  So like you, I find myself in a good situation in life.

My Mom is the one with the affliction.  Hates the whole "%&*% hobby".  See's it as a huge waste of time and money.  But the four of us love it and will not stop.  We have so much fun just running the trains.  I handle the loco's and rolling stock, my wife handles the scenery, and the kids help out where ever they can.  It's so much fun to find something we all can enjoy and spend time as a family.  It seems so hard these days to do that.  We actually spent about 2 hours running trains instead of watching the football game last night!  I cannot see how something we can enjoy as a family can be so bad.

So I say just enjoy yourselves.  TO **** with what someone else thinks.

My

[northernsubpcrr]

   Hey here is one I have problem with. I am 32 married and have 2 kids, one on the way, a cat named Chessie, and a chocolate lab pup named Alco. I bought a 100 yld Victorian house 2 and a half years ago and the 3rd floor is "man land" all trains all the time... I have 3 cars in my garage and I am in my dream job that I wanted since I was 5 as a State Trooper. I have 5 years on now and thats after 6 years active duty USAF. Ok so I am mildly successful.

   I married my wife almost 5 years ago. I proposed on an old curved wooden B&O trestle. We railfan together, with the kids and occasionally work on the layout together. A few years back I mentioned, while on a train ride, I used to model railroad. She suggested getting back into it. And so it began. I found great freinds at the Clarion Model RR Club and got in deep. Now I am where I am.

   I dont hunt, fish or go out partying till 4 am any more. I model railroad till 4am but hey I normally work midnights. I involve my children with this too. OH! and my wife supports the hobby addiction 98.5%.

   My problem is my Dad. He has this problem with me doing this. I cant explain it. He called tonight and started ******** to my wife how all I do is play with my ******* trains. Now yes my house needs remodeled. Yes I remodel it. In the past week my wife and I have painted 2 rooms and hallway and a stairwell. So we by no means just **** around. My wife by the way shut him down right away. Not a first time for any of this.

   My Dad is a great guy. He just retired from GE after 37 years of building locomotives. He got me into the hobby. I have gone over the top in my life as in the places I have been and things I have done..... Anyone else have a similar problem and how do you deal with it?

Jason Sider

B&O Northern Sub. / Paintcreek RR