Hey here is one I have problem with. I am 32 married and have 2 kids, one on the way, a cat named Chessie, and a chocolate lab pup named Alco. I bought a 100 yld Victorian house 2 and a half years ago and the 3rd floor is "man land" all trains all the time... I have 3 cars in my garage and I am in my dream job that I wanted since I was 5 as a State Trooper. I have 5 years on now and thats after 6 years active duty USAF. Ok so I am mildly successful.
I married my wife almost 5 years ago. I proposed on an old curved wooden B&O trestle. We railfan together, with the kids and occasionally work on the layout together. A few years back I mentioned, while on a train ride, I used to model railroad. She suggested getting back into it. And so it began. I found great freinds at the Clarion Model RR Club and got in deep. Now I am where I am.
I dont hunt, fish or go out partying till 4 am any more. I model railroad till 4am but hey I normally work midnights. I involve my children with this too. OH! and my wife supports the hobby addiction 98.5%.
My problem is my Dad. He has this problem with me doing this. I cant explain it. He called tonight and started ******** to my wife how all I do is play with my ******* trains. Now yes my house needs remodeled. Yes I remodel it. In the past week my wife and I have painted 2 rooms and hallway and a stairwell. So we by no means just **** around. My wife by the way shut him down right away. Not a first time for any of this.
My Dad is a great guy. He just retired from GE after 37 years of building locomotives. He got me into the hobby. I have gone over the top in my life as in the places I have been and things I have done..... Anyone else have a similar problem and how do you deal with it?
Jason Sider
B&O Northern Sub. / Paintcreek RR
I'm 35, 2 little kids (5 and 7), married 12 years, also former service (Navy Seabee), and the Sr. Estimator for one of the largest General Contractors in the state. So like you, I find myself in a good situation in life.
My Mom is the one with the affliction. Hates the whole "%&*% hobby". See's it as a huge waste of time and money. But the four of us love it and will not stop. We have so much fun just running the trains. I handle the loco's and rolling stock, my wife handles the scenery, and the kids help out where ever they can. It's so much fun to find something we all can enjoy and spend time as a family. It seems so hard these days to do that. We actually spent about 2 hours running trains instead of watching the football game last night! I cannot see how something we can enjoy as a family can be so bad.
So I say just enjoy yourselves. TO **** with what someone else thinks.
My
Glad to hear from another bluesuit model railroader (I'm 12 years active USAF and counting!).
Funny, my Dad got me into trains... and now I'm getting my sons into them. My wife supports the hobby, and her father is also a train fan (and a Pennsy fan to boot!). My mother could take or leave the trains, but she never makes an issue of it.
The question your father needs to ask himself (or maybe you need to ask him) is would he rather you not be happy just so you can make him feel better?
Of all the things people find to make themselves happy in their spare time (drinking, online gaming, gambling, porn, etc.) model railroading is pretty darned wholesome and creative. You're not hurting anyone with it. Nobody at your Dad's work is harrassing him about his train-obsessed son. Seems to me it's his problem alone.
Good luck.
Modeling the Rio Grande Southern First District circa 1938-1946 in HOn3.
[rant] My wife, who originally suggested pulling my trains out of the attic and setting them up, now resents the whole thing. Somehow, I think she believes that if I didn't have the trains, I would want to go to Yoga classes with her, and join the Garden Club in town. Well, no, not really...
My daughter wishes the trains would go away so all that space in the family room would be available for that one day every six months or so when she wants to have a bunch of friends over.
My sister thinks the whole thing is rediculous, too. Well, I think she's a bit over the top with the antiques and the cats, but, well, it's her thing, so I'm happy she's got something she enjoys. I don't go around criticizing other people for what they like to do, and quite frankly, I wish she'd keep her opinions about me to herself.
Well, maybe I should take up golf and spend 10 thousand or so to join a club, and then spend every Saturday and Sunday on the course. Or give them back the family room, and spend my days in some sports bar, drinking and flirting with the women that some other guy got tired of putting up with. [/rant]
It takes an iron man to play with a toy iron horse.
Dave
Lackawanna Route of the Phoebe Snow
Since we're openning up a little here. I'm 37 and I've been married for 5 yrs, been with my high school sweet heart since 2000, had a wonderfull little girl 2.5 yrs ago and I have a job as a System Administrator for the Registrar's office at Penn State U. I did five years in the Navy as a Gunner's Mate and four of them were on a Destroyer. Ugh!!!! Avoid that if you can.
My wife supports my hobby 99.99% of the time and is glad to see that I'm spending my time at home, even if it is downstairs with the trains, instead of drinking all the time, which was getting out of control last year. And that in turn has helped me with smoking because I only smoke cigerettes when I'm drinking most of the time. So all in all it has been a healthy life change for me to submerse myself in this hobby. I do most of the modelling but my wife does help me out, for instance she came down and painted my blue desert brown and I gotta say it looks MUCH better than all that blue, ick. My baby girl likes the trains but is too young to do too much other than watch them go by until she feels like she needs to grab them as they go by. LOL
I really haven't had anyone make comments one way or the other about my HOBBY, which is all it really is, and most hobbies are good for you, most of the time. They might think I'm a little weird but I can deal with that. And hey, if they don't like me, or my hobby the door is always in the same place and they know how to use it.
62 Years old married for 38 years. Wife knew about trains before we got married. The in-laws however are a different story. Don't approve of the hobby or me. At this point I could care less.
Funny how this topic just keeps coming back. I for one have been fairly lucky as I have been married for 18 years and have two kids and though the family doesn't object to the hobby they're not into it. Dad supported "our" hobby and is responsible for many of my aquisitions. I was also lucky as before we got married My fiance said "when we get a house there will be a wreck room to put all your Nautical stuff in..." She really didn't care for the brass bell, Port and Starboard Lights or the brass porthole end table. She really didn't like the Rum barrel used for the TV stand, personally I thought it was neat! So we bought a house she got her dining room I got the basement. It was a win win situation. Like anything it's about balance the house work and "Round-tuit" list has to get done in order to keep everyone happy. I have my space and the rest of the family has theirs except they wish the Layout was a tad smaller as 1/3 of the basement is occupied by it. As for your Dad sounds more like he's worried it takes up too much of your time and maybe loosing sight of other responsibilities. That's really up to you and him to work that out. The big part of our problem as Model Railroaders is perception. The majority of people see this as childs play and for supposed adults to be playing with trains it's rather childish. So my advise, well I really don't know what to say as the immediate family sounds very happy and enjoys it and for that consider yourself very lucky as this hooby has the potential to break up marriages and I suspect it already has.
Fergie
http://www.trainboard.com/railimages/showgallery.php?cat=500&ppuser=5959
If one could roll back the hands of time... They would be waiting for the next train into the future. A. H. Francey 1921-2007
I've been married for almost 8 yrs. to the same wonderful woman and have a 5 1/2 yr old daughter and a 16 yr old daughter from her previous mariage. We all love trains and the layout. It's a great way to spend quality time together.
My sister and brother on the other hand think it's cool, but a waste of time.
Bob Berger, C.O.O. N-ovation & Northwestern R.R. My patio layout....SEE IT HERE
There's no place like ~/ ;)
ndbprr wrote:62 Years old married for 38 years. Wife knew about trains before we got married. The in-laws however are a different story. Don't approve of the hobby or me. At this point I could care less.
To all of you guys with unsupportive family members:
As I said in another thread recently. Family, especially extended family, and particularly family that can't keep their pointless, uneducated, unenlightened opinions to themselves...are highly over rated! Next time they have something to say about your hobby I suggest you show them the door, hang up on them without preamble and invite them to get lost and not bother being found.
"What gave you the impression that I needed or requested your approval?"
...unless, of course, the problem person is your mate. Their opinion DOES matter.
Mine says: "I'm really busy here. Don't you have something that needs doing in the train room?" ROFL. She bought me a 4-6-2 K-4 Pacific for Christmas.
Let's see....Been married to wife for 15+ years now, she approves whole-heartedly of my hobby. She is wanting me to finish rebuilding my train room and get the new layout up and running. Wife has found out that there are NOT a bunch of drunks, bums, thieves and low-lifes involved with model trains. Knows that my group of modelers aren't in the BAR, we're in the BASEMENT.
My parents, sister, her family, wife's brother, his family and most everybody else even closely related knows that Trains, and Model Railroading are my HOBBY. A hobby which is a great STRESS RELIEVER in today's crazy, high speed, look at me world.
I can't think of anybody in my immediate family that doesn't like/care if I go on train rides, chase steam trains, or have a model railroad in my basement. In fact most of them will ask me how progress is coming on the layout and when can they see it.
If somebody doesn't like my hobby of Model Railroading: TOO **** BAD!! The door is right over there, don't let it hit you *** on the way out!!!!
loathar wrote:Not anymore. (HAPPILY divorced...)My brother used to like trains when we were younger, but these days , he's only allowed to enjoy what his wife tells him he can.
So she carry's his ***** in her purse does she? Sounds like my little brother.
Dr. Frankendiesel aka Scott Running BearSpace Mouse for president!15 year veteran fire fighterCollector of Apple //e'sRunning Bear EnterprisesHistory Channel Club life member.beatus homo qui invenit sapientiam
Guys,its his DAD who doesn't approve.Its not like telling some acquaintance where the door is. This could destroy an otherwise normal relationship,or indicate some deeper seated trouble that needs to be aired. I'm not sure what the problem is. Why don't you ask Dad straight out what it is he doesn't like about your participating in the hobby.You have training in dealing with people,catch him sometime with your uniform on and your pistol in the holster and ask him what it is he doesn't like about your trains. For you I'm sure trains provide a relief from dealing with all the weirdos and druggies and others just trying to get away withstuff,that you encounter in your daily routine.The club is a great idea to share time with a bunch of guys with interests outside your occupation.
secondhandmodeler wrote:I think a few modelers are a little more obsessed than they realize.
I've seen those guys. Most of them are single and look like this....
I on the other hand put Family first, then responsibilities, and finally the hobby last. The wife is very supportive. She's bought me engines, cars, etc. And best of all she critiques my work when I ask her to. The extended family is very supportive as well. All 5 of my brothers and sisters grew up with the lionel train set around the tree at a young age so my sisters love it. They also buy me engines for Christmas! I can't think of anyone who has thought negatively about it. Too bad my boys didn't get "into" it, but their generation is video games and such...too bad.
reklein wrote: Guys,its his DAD who doesn't approve.Its not like telling some acquaintance where the door is. This could destroy an otherwise normal relationship,or indicate some deeper seated trouble that needs to be aired. I'm not sure what the problem is. Why don't you ask Dad straight out what it is he doesn't like about your participating in the hobby.You have training in dealing with people,catch him sometime with your uniform on and your pistol in the holster and ask him what it is he doesn't like about your trains. For you I'm sure trains provide a relief from dealing with all the weirdos and druggies and others just trying to get away withstuff,that you encounter in your daily routine.The club is a great idea to share time with a bunch of guys with interests outside your occupation.
I'm no psychologist, but I got a clue for ya reklein. Its got nothing to do with the trains or hobbies. Its much deeper than that. This guy could have taken up "knitting" and it wouldn't be good enough for dear old dad. There are are probably skeletons in this closet you don't want to know about.
I can't say I have anyone that actively disapproves of my hobby. My wife knew enough about it before we got married and so now activelly participates with me in it. My in-laws are either disintrested, intrested, or frustrated garden railroaders (frustrated that it costs so much), there are two inlaws that active against but both are hunters and see this as a waste of time and money. My response is, if you guys were better hunters it wouldn't cost you a fortune in ammo, and I do just fine buying a whole beef off my uncle rathering than freezing my keester off in a tree-stand for a maybe deer.
The only real problem can be my mother and my mother -in- law who think anything train related is a good present. I think I finally gotten my mom disabused of this idea and am now working on my mother - in- law. Step 1. Does it say Chicago, Milwaukee, St. Paul & Pacific RR, No? Than I don't need it. Step 2. Does it say Great Northern? No? Then I don't need it. Step three does it look like it is from the turn of the century to the 1950's? No? Then I don't need it. Step 4 Does it say Hallmark or Lionel on it? Yes? Then I don't need it.
Speaking of expensive hobbies NON train related.
Brother in law has....
1) $30,000 boat he can't afford, sits 9 months of the year in a storage lot he can't afford
2) $6,500 ATV sits in the garage he can't afford (while his house roof needs replaced)
3) $4,000 motorcycle he can't afford
4) Numerous guns as he is an avid hunter + ammo, gas, time
$40,500 in toys that sit for most of the year........ Yea....who's the smart one here?
Its MONDAY. DON'T YOU GUYS HAVE JOBS OR SOMETHING ELSE TO DO! LOL
I'm off today because of Martin Luther King Day, so I get to spend the rest of the day sceniking my layout and running trains. Whoo hooo! See you suckers later.
Driline wrote:Its MONDAY. DON'T YOU GUYS HAVE JOBS OR SOMETHING ELSE TO DO! LOL
Driline wrote: Its MONDAY. DON'T YOU GUYS HAVE JOBS OR SOMETHING ELSE TO DO! LOLI'm off today because of Martin Luther King Day, so I get to spend the rest of the day sceniking my layout and running trains. Whoo hooo! See you suckers later.
Well that explains why the office is so empty. Good it just means I can get more work done and I don't have to deal with pesky questions.
Driline wrote: Speaking of expensive hobbies NON train related.Brother in law has....1) $30,000 boat he can't afford, sits 9 months of the year in a storage lot he can't afford2) $6,500 ATV sits in the garage he can't afford (while his house roof needs replaced)3) $4,000 motorcycle he can't afford4) Numerous guns as he is an avid hunter + ammo, gas, time$40,500 in toys that sit for most of the year........ Yea....who's the smart one here?
Does he use the excuse that he needs the guns, boat and ATV to feed his family??I hear that one a lot where I live!