Fortunately my wife is very supportive of my hobby, but then again she knew from the start what it was about. I had a medium sized home layout before she met me, and it was far enough along she could readily see what to expect.
Assuming the real problem you face is a lack of understanding of what a model railroad is all about, you could try collecting some photos and articles of high-quality layouts that inspire you. Another suggestion would be to arrange a visit to a nice layout or two, showing how the train room fits into the home. A layout room that's finished well, clean, and free of clutter would be ideal for visitors who aren't used to looking past the typical mess that seems to afflict many layouts. Show your family that they don't need to expect a disaster.
Assuming you can reach an understanding about what a layout space is and how it can look, see what the reaction is. If your spouse remains skeptical, or even hostile, you have a bigger issue than just trains, and you'll have more to work through. Good luck.
Rob Spangler
Hey everyone. I've been waiting over 20 years to finally be in a financial spot to buy my first home with my wife. We have saved to afford a really nice size house, something in the 2200-2400 sq ft range. We have no kids and aren't having any either, so the amount of space I plan to use in the basement is huge. I have a rough idea in my head of what I want to model and what I want to include in my railroad. We found a beautiful house that my wife absolutely loved, I had to agree it will be hard to find a house like this again in that good of shape. I had to say no because the basement was cut up into bedrooms with the bathroom inbetween both bedrooms making taking down a wall impossible. Basically each bedroom was too small. Since then, I have taken a lot of flack from my wife and both sides of our family. I haven't had any trains since I was a kid, and I am the only one in the family that is into trains. So no one really understands what I want and why I need the room I need, even though I explain it. It seems all anyone can understand is me having a 8x4 "train set" in a spare bedroom. Even though I am a grown man paying for 50% of a house with my wife, I am getting backed into a corner here. I had to simply put my foot down and basically threaten our relationship to get my point across. I am looking for a good size layout, not the entire basement, but certainly larger than, "train set" size. I am just looking for any advice or related stories from anyone that had simular problems and how you worked it out.
Thanks