"OUR" PLACE - SEE NEW THREAD!

[coalminer3]

Good Morning Barkeep and All Present; coffee, please; round for the house and $ for the jukebox.

Hope everyone is o.k. aftre all of the weather activitieis over the weekend. It's supposed to be around here today - but there are 5-6 different forecasts out there.

Much good reading material this a.m. ads, encores, tank cars, Hollywood picture, etc., etc. Many thanks to all.

Here's something from a road that may or may not be familiar to some

Fast Freight Service
Modern-Equipment; All Diesel Power

Bridge the Continent By Way of the All Weather Route

Columbus and Greenville Railway Co.

Interchanging at

Columbus, MS - GM&O, SLSF, SOU
West Point, MS - GM&O, IC
Mathiston, MS - GM&O
Greenwood, MS, Moorhead, MS, Elizabeth, MS and Greenville, MS - IC

168 miles of track

B4 I forget; Birthday greeting to all today - I assume that a dome diner will be spotted behind the bar for the approriate festivities; I know that the tank cars are there and all hoses connected and pressurized.

I'll try and get back later today, but the work schedule doesn't look too promising.

work safe

[siberianmo]

G’day All!

PASSENGER TRAIN NOSTALGIA #73

Here’s something to enjoy regarding the Canadian Pacific (CP) in a 1952 advertisement from my private collection:

14 adventures as

. . . . . you cross CANADA

For top scenery and service, go Canadian Pacific

Greatest picture-window view of great, growing Canada is yours by Canadian Pacific!

1: Visit the salty Down-East, abounding in fish and game.

2: The walled city of Québec, seen best by horsedrawn calèche– handily near fine Laurentian ski trails.

3: Urban Montreal, where street signs “speak” both French and English.

4: Ottawa, the stately capital city!

Service every mile because you’re traveling Canadian Pacifc.

5: Air-Conditioning, roominess of seats and beds.

6: Fine meals and courtesy of service famous the world-over!

Westward ho by Canadian Pacific!

7: Through lake and woods beauty of lake Superior’s north shore.

8: Winnipeg, center of rolling fertile prairies.

9: Calgary, booming gateway to oil riches.

10.: Then, Diesels glide us into wonderland, the Canadian Rockies . . . (Skiers: peerless slopes near Banff and Lake Louise!!)

Onward! . . .

11: Visit the city of show gardens, Victoria, B.C.

12: Stay at the famous Empress, year round hotel.

13: Nearby, fascinating shoops.

14: Great sorts . . . largest sea pool under glass . . . golf, sailing, fishing all year!

Ask your agent about a world of service:

Sailings to Europe by White Empress, Fast airliners to Far East, New Zealand, Australia.

See your local agent or Canadian Pacifidc in principal cities in U.S. and Canada.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Canadian Pacific . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


Enjoy! [tup]

Tom [4:-)][oX)]

REMINDER! Birthday Bash at 2 PM (Central!)

[siberianmo]

G'day!

[wow] Has this ever been a slooooooooooooow, morning! Must be Monday!

Good to see CM3 stop by, and deposit his quarters in our Coal Scuttle as well as springing for a round (which we'll apply to this PMs Birthday Bash!)

There's lots of good stuff on the past several pages for those out there who haven't been around lately. No point in jumpin' in without first checking back to see what you've missed! Kinda the way we do things 'round here.

Trying to get a leg up on the "stuff" for the Bash . . . Used to be a bit easier on the Proprietor when we had reliable help. Seems those days are long gone - looooong gone!<sad> Beginning to look like the "staff" is just a pigment of my mascinations![swg]

Okay, 'nuf said on that score. Check out "my other thread" for the latest Pix 'n Posts from a few of the guys over the past few days.

Be back at 2 PM SHARP for the start of the Bash!

Tom[4:-)] [oX)]

[Anonymous]

Good afternoon again Tom and friends. Too early for a Bloody Mary? I brought a roll of Michigan quarters for tunes while I'm waiting here for everyone to arrive and buy mine and Lars' drinks!

Now, just because I'm "off" doesn't mean I don't have stuff to do! I had to go out and eat ...for one thing. Then I decided that it was such a warm day (but windy) that I needed to get to the IRM for more pictures. I was especially interested in signals today, as I'm going to be posting a series here along those lines. I also snuck back aboard that Pullman car I was in last week to take some pictures. My battery had died on me last time, which is standard operating procedure for me. So once again, I took pictures until the battery died, and then headed-out for my "honey-do", which was to fix or replace my wifes' cell phone. As you can imagine, you have to do some driving to a repair center, and it's only free if it's an easy fix, and I assume you lose the phone for awhile. Replacing it means paying a $50 deductable, so I'm going to take option 3, which is to live with the problem. She whacked the recharger port into the phone so it can't be recharged. I'm going to propose to her that we just exchange batteries when she needs more juice! I'm also going to need to run out and eat again, so I'm really very busy! And don't forget those lousy jokes I post here (like you could) .... I have to crawl through a lot of old dumpsters to get material like that!

We actually do have 3 computers here on a nice fast cable network, but one is slow, and another doesn't have a scanner on it, so this one still gets the most demand.
I've marked about 10 different magazines here that either have info on the SR (tomorrows' topic), pictures I need to scan, or articles I need to type. Hopefully the material will be worthy of this very astute crowd.

Thanks for the birthday greetings CM3. I want to know your real name for my birthday present. Never heard of the Columbus and Greenville Railway Co., but it's my birthday, and i'm hoping to be forgiven.

Nice CP add Mr. Tom. Sure sounds like the road to ride! Speaking of which, it's time for me to make like buffalo chips, and hit the trail. Here's a my departing groaner!

[:I] Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under
a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and
I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants." [:I]

[siberianmo]

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UNDER THE AUTHORITY VESTED IN ME AS PROPRIETOR of this CYBER BAR ‘n GRILL, I HEREBY DELCARE THIS DAY, DOUG ‘n LARS DAY! [C=:-)] LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL as we celebrate the Birthdays of our FRIENDS, barndad Doug (50) ‘n LoveDomes Lars (66)! [C=:-)]

[bday]HAPPY BIRTHDAY to DOUG ‘n LARS![bday]

AND NOW ………SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT for our FRIENDS DOUG ‘n Lars


For Doug - Illinois Crazy Law

from: http://www.ahajokes.com/laws013.html

• The English language is not to be spoken.
• You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
• You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.
• You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.

Chicago

• It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
• In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb.
• Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
• Kites may not be flown within the city limits.
• It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck.
• Spitting is forbidden
• It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.

Champaign

• One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.

Cicero

• Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.

Crete

• Cars may not be driven through the town.

Des Plaines

• Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.

Eureka

• A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.

Evanston

• It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
• Bowling is forbidden.
• It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.

Freeport

• It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.

Galesburg

• There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.

Homer

• It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer.

Joliet

• Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced 'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine.

Kenilworth

• A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow. Hens that wi***o cackle must step two hundred feet back from any residence.

Kirkland

• Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kirkland's streets.

Moline

• Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited.
• There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.

Morton Grove

• You may not own a handgun

Normal

• It is against the law to make faces at dogs.

Orland Park

• No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling.

Ottawa

• Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.

Park Ridge

• Trucks may only park inside closed garages.

Peoria

• Basketball hoops may not be installed on a driveway.

Zion

• It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.
from: http://www.ahajokes.com/laws013.html



For Lars! - New York Crazy Law

from: http://www.ahajokes.com/laws032.html

• The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
• Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.
• A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
• A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.
• While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.
• A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
• It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.

Carmel

• A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.

Greene

• During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.

New York City

• You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.
• Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers".
• Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.
• It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing."

Ocean City

• It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.
• It is illegal to eat in the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle.

Staten Island

• You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand.
from: http://www.ahajokes.com/laws032.html


Boris! Ring the bell a few times – we’re on a roll![swg]


Tom [4:-)] [oX)]

[bday]HAPPY BIRTHDAY to DOUG ‘n LARS![bday]

[tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup]


REMINDER! Keep using the REFRESH/REPOST feature at the top of your screen to ensure the most CURRENT Posts show up.

[LoveDomes]

G’day Tom and Gents at the Party!

Let me start off by wishing our friend, barndad Doug a most [bday] and many, many more! You see, today IS his birthday, whereas mine falls on the 31st of March. I thought this combined idea made sense, especially when it looked as if three of us were to be involved. Anyway, it’s now a ‘duo’ which is fine with me![tup]

Appreciate the “NY stuff,” Tom – always good for a chuckle or two.[swg]

So, check out these tid bits of humor to continue on with some “banter,” as Tom refers to it:

• Two drunks were walking upgrade between the railroad tracks. One of them said, "this is is longest stairway I have ever been on." The other one said, "It's not the stairs that bother me, it's the low banister."

• Two drunks were walking down a New York City street when one fell down the subway steps. When he got back up top he told his drinking partner, "...boy you got to see that guy's train set in the basement!"

• A man and a woman, who had never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Although initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly -- he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 2:00 a.m., he leans over and gently wakes the woman, saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims. "Good," she replies. "Get your own *** blanket."

These are “right up your alley,” Doug![swg]

Let’s party![tup]

Lars

[Anonymous]

Afternoon Tom. I'll start with a bottlemless draught, after that first "shot" was fired. You warned me that the party would be at my expense, and true to your word ...you are true to your word! [:D] How come there are more funny jokes in my state than Lars?

Actually, Chicago had a law a long time ago that forbade train stations to be located within city limits. This was when Chicago only covered 12 square miles. But as the city grew to pass those fiirst four train stations, they let that law slide.

Anyhow ....thanks for your humerous submission. It's a great way to start the birthday bashing party!

Great to see you Lars, and appreciate the birthday wishes. I'm honored to share this day with you, but your jokes are a little too good to be in my alley! [:p]

[:I] Joe, who stuttered, was looking for a job and saw a help wanted sign in the window of a book store. He went in and asked the owner, “c c could I h h have a ch ch chance at the j j job?”
The store owner told him it probably wouldn’t work out because it was a salesman job and he would have to talk to people all day. Joe said, “p p p please g give m m me some b books and I’ll sh sh show you”. So the owner went to the back of the store and brought back a case of bibles and told Joe to try and sell them. Joe left with the bibles and came back an hour later with the money for them. The owner asked, “Joe, how did you sell all those bibles so fast?”
Joe said, “I w w went up t t to the d door and r r rang the b b bell and w when th the people
answered, I asked, d d do you w w w want to b b buy a b b bible or d d do you w w want me to r r r read it t t to you? [:I]

[siberianmo]

HI Guys!

Looks like we're off to a "flying start" with some of the worst jokes found on the net![swg] But then again, how could it be otherwise[?] After all, this is the "day of days" for our friend, Doug who is FIFTY!!!!! Man - that's on the doorstep of being OLD! Now, Lars you ARE OLD!![swg]

Get comfortable Gents, the festivities have just begun and the day is YOURS! As you can see, the Gals of "Our" Place are here, along with the Cast of Characters to help liven up the joint. Just watch your ankles, Tex the Armadillo is on the prowl![swg]

What's your poison pleasure[?]

Tom[4:-)] [oX)]

[LoveDomes]

Good Grief Charlie Brown!

Is that last joke from Doug going to be an indication of what we're in for today[?]

I think a triple JD on the rocks will do just fine ....

Lars

[siberianmo]

Hi Gents!

'fraid so - I think that joke was probably the best it's going to get - strap yourself in for a real GROANER of a day!

Triple JD it is . . . how 'bout you, Doug[?]

Tom[4:-)] [oX)]

[Anonymous]

You know .... I somehow survived 50 years ...but I don't know if I can survive the jokes that will be here today. [D)] I'll take you up on the triple, Tom

I think we should all be required to check-in our joke books at the bar until this day is over.

[:I] A man went to see his doctor. When the doctor saw him he told him he had some very bad news.
"What is it," he asked.
"I hate to tell you this," said the doctor, "but you've only got 24 hours to live."
"Wow, that is bad news," he said.
"I know, I've been trying to get ahold of you since yesterday." [:I]

[Anonymous]

I think I killed Pete with that last one. He vanished!

[:I] An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated by check. " I know you need to make sure the check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.
Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account."
" I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?" [:I]

[siberianmo]

Gents!

Perhaps Pete has better sense than the rest of us![swg]

All I can say about the numbers of "funnies" for Illionis compared to "New York" is that we weren't allowed to use "politics," otherwise New York surely would have been in the lead with Queen Hillary, etc. But then again, she's originally from Illinois! Go figger![swg]

A triple it is! I'd say at 50, we don't have to card you![swg]

By the by, I don't have a joke book - I just steal 'em as I find 'em!<grin>

Tom[4:-)] [oX)]


REMINDER! Use that REFRESH/REPOST feature in order to guarantee the most RECENT Posts!

[BudKarr]

Good Afternoon Captain Tom and Birthday Celebrants!

[bday]Happy Birthday! to Lars & Doug![bday]

First, I should make mention of a terrific Sunday Picture Day! and enjoyed the efforts of one and all![tup] Captain Tom you have the energy of three people and creativeness to go with it. Excellent diversity to keep us interested. As has become the “usual,” Doug & Rob provide some of the best photos to be seen on the Forums, along with much appreciated descriptions![tup] Lars I really liked those Union Pacific selections, especially of the interior of the dome car and those strings of domes. Surely puts one in the proper frame of mind for rail travel![tup]

I see things are in good order with the humor all around, so without further adieu, here are a few more “laughers” to add to the flavor of the day:

LAWYER: "Did you see the automobile approaching the railroad track?"
CROSSING WATCHMAN: "Yes sir -- and I said to myself, " That sure is a nice car -- wasn't it?"

TRAVELER: "What's the use of you having a time table if your rotten trains never stick to it?!"
PORTER: " Well, sir... how would you even KNOW they was runnin' late if NOT for the timetable?"

An elderly lady walked into a Toronto ticket office and asked for a ticket to New York. " Do you want to go by Buffalo?" inquired the ticket agent. "Certainly not!" she answered indignantly, " I want to go by TRAIN!"

PULLMAN PORTER to passenger: "Shall I brush you off, sir?"
PASSENGER: " No thank you.....I'd prefer to get off the train in the USUAL manner!"

CONDUCTOR to passenger: " Sir, I must ask you not to leave your luggage in the aisle."
FAT PASSENGER: " That's not my luggage, my good man.....that's my LUNCH!"

MAN: "Well, I can see that there must be a train around here somewhere."
WIFE: "What makes you say that, dear?"
MAN: " Because it left its TRACKS behind!"

What did the Mama Steam Engine say to her Baby Steam Engine at supper time?
"Choo choo!"

Question: Why do Y6's not swim?
Answer: How could you get a 2-8-8-2 in a bathing suit?


Those just have to be the corniest jokes EVER – something right in line with what Sir Doug seems to relish![swg]

Oh, you liked those[?] Well, try these then!


Why is the railroad angry?
Because people are always crossing it!

Why can't the engineer be electrocuted?
Because he's not a conductor!

What is a lawyer's favorite railroad?
The SOO Line.

Why is the track gauge 4' 8 1/2" ?
Because its the mean distance between the neck and ankles of damsels in distress.

Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind (or because it's caboose is red).

Response to passenger complaint about increased sleeping car fares:
"The berth rate has gone up since your last trip."

Why don't elephants like to ride on railways?
They hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car.

How many conductors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but to no avail. He first punches a hole in the new bulb.

Guy running to catch a train: "Can I take this train to Altoona?"
Guy standing under placard that reads 'Train to Altoona': "You can't _take_ this train anywhere--it belongs to the railroad."
(or "Why would you want to--it's going there anyway.")

What is the difference between a school teacher and a steam locomotive?
The school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the locomotive says "Choo Choo Choo!"


Now that just about says it all![swg]

Enjoy your party, Gentlemen and have a round on me![tup]


BK in beautiful Alberta, Canada mountain country!

[Anonymous]

Yeah ...Pete obviously has a sense of self-preservation that we lack. I believe CM3 has it too, as I saw him run up the stairs to escape! He can't stay up there forever though! [}:)]

Whoa! Train jokes from BK! Thanks for the birthday wishes, and for the jokes!

[:I] Mom was in the kitchen cooking while her young son played with his toy trains out in the yard. While listening to him play, she heard him say "All right, this is our first stop, all you a**holes off the train, and all your other a**holes get on board, we're leaving in 5 minutes."
Appalled by this, the she goes out to her son and tells him that he can't use language like that, and he needs to go to his room and think about what he's done. The little boy then goes to his room, and lies on his bed. Two hours later, the mom comes in and asks the boy if he's learned his lesson. The boy says that he has, and is allowed to go back out and play with his trains again.
The mom goes over to the window to listen to the boy as he starts playing again and hears him say "All right ladies and gentlemen, if this is your stop, please gather your belongings, the train will be coming to a stop soon. And for those of you getting on board, we hope you are having a pleasant day, and have a great trip on our railroad. And for those of you wondering about the two hour delay, talk to the *** in the kitchen. [:I]

[siberianmo]

G'day!

Nice to see ya made it in BK![tup] Man oh man, now that you've retired and found the ways of the internet, you're coming along quite well![swg] Nice stuff - right along the lines that Doug DESERVES! Poor Lars he's just taking it all in, wondering, "Why me[?]"[swg]

Refills, anyone[?] How 'bout you guys "upstairs" - CM3 'n Pete - as Doug said, you can't stay there forever![swg]

Tom[4:-)] [oX)]

[BudKarr]

Captain Tom and Party goers!

Just wanted to let you know that I must depart. We have an afternoon of places to go and people to see down in the "village," as my gal refers to it. Nevertheless, I must finish up and get a move on.

Happiest of Birthdays to the both of you, Lars & Doug![bday]

BK

[siberianmo]

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[bday]HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Doug ‘n Lars![bday]


Hey Guys!

Vito ‘n Guido sent these “Hostesses” over to help liven up your party!




Ring the bell a few times, Boris, drinks on the house![swg]


Tom [4:-)] [oX)]

[bday]HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Doug ‘n Lars![bday]


[tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup][tup]

[LoveDomes]

Tinkerbell is MINE![swg] You can have the other two, Doug!

Lars

[Anonymous]

There we go! Bring on the entertainment!

[:I] A man decided to march in the holy crusades. Concluding that his wife should wear a chastity belt while he is gone, he locks up her nether regions and gives the key to his best friend. He tells him, “If I do not return within four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life.”
So, the husband leaves on horseback and about a half hour later, he sees a cloud of dust behind him. He waits for it to come closer and sees his best friend. “What's wrong?' ” he asks.
“You gave me the wrong key!” [:I]

[LoveDomes]

Hey Guys!

Check these out . . . .


The train was about to pull out of the station. Swinging a large bag, a young man managed to reach the train, throw his bag in and climb aboard, gasping for air, before the doors slid shut.

Seeing at him, another man said, "Young man, you should be in better shape! At your age, I could catch the train by a gnat's whisker and still be fresh. Look at you, panting away."

The young man took a deep breath and said, "Pop, I missed this train at the *last* station."


Blake and his parents were drinking at the bar in a train station when they heard a whistle. The three of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform only to discover that they had missed the train.

The next train is in one hour," said the stationmaster.

The three went back into the bar. The parents had another drink; Blake had a Pepsi.

Again they heard a whistle, rushed out and discovered the train pulling away. "Next one is sixty minutes from now!" said the stationmaster.

An hour later, Blake, with his mom and dad, raced out onto the platform, and his parents leaped onto the train as it pulled away. The boy was left standing on the platform and began to laugh uproariously.

“Your parents just left you," said the stationmaster. "Why are you laughing?"

"They came to see me off!" the boy replied.


Are we having fun yet[?][swg]


Lars

[Anonymous]

The first Joke was The 2nd joke was

I'm going to need more to drink!

I need to leave for a few hours .... so ya'll can come out now!

[:I] While making his rounds, a doctor points out an x-ray to a group of medical students.
“As you can see,” he says, “the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched.”
The doctor turns to one of the students and asks, “What would you do in a case like this?”
“Well,” ponders the student, “I suppose I’d limp, too.” [:I]

[coalminer3]

Good Afternoon Barkeep and all Present; coffee, please, round for the house and $ for the jukebox.

Geeez - these guys aren't as old as some of us; my first computer came with a stoker.

Its birthday time - as Yogi said, "I guess the first thing I ought to say is thank you for making this day necessary."

A few other gleanings from the archives; I found these in a mashed dinner bucket in an abandoned mine. These items somehow never made it to print, but the CM3 research dept (at your service day and night, we find it fast and find it right) was able to piece a few shreds together. You can imagine my surporise when I found them to be parts of interviews done for the local press. Herewith is what can be shared w/o being shot off the air..

Deserted by his folks at three, Lars shipped out on an oil tanker as cabin boy. Serving under a cruel skipper, Lars knew how to roll cigarettes before he was five; the captain before he was eleven. He said about early memories that , "The first thing I remember liking that liked me back was food." But I guess he never learned to cook as evidenced by the following remark, "This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them."

At an early age, he showed a profound grasp of economics when he said, "With credit you can buy everything you can't afford." When questioned about money, he noted, "I have no regard for money. Aside from its purchasing power, it's completely usless as far as I'm concerned."

Unfortunately the rest of the manuscript was unintelligible, but Boris is working on it.

I couldn't believed what I found next - notes from an interview with Doug. They were kind of waterlogged as they were in the bottom section of the bucket. It was tough gtting the bucket open, but again, I was amazed at the breadth of knowledge (or is it breath) displayed.

Being from the heartland, Doug is one of those folks who tellis it like it is. For example, when questioned about his neighborhood, he recalled, "I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines." The astonished reporter asked him how he coped with those condtions. He shrugged his shoulders and replied, "He brings a bat, you bring a knife; he brings a knife, you bring a gun - it's the Chicago way." He's a staunch law and order man and was once heard to say, "Take him to the tower and teach him the error of false pride!"

Doug has been a traveler for many years and he was quick to tell the reporter, "Remember, wherever you go, there you are." When asked about his trip to North Africa, he said "I came to Casablanca for the waters. But we wounbd up in the middle of the desert. I was misinformed! "

Again the rest of the MSS was indecipherable - I believe it wound up in Awk's cage.

We'll respectfully draw the curtain at this point with the following definition

Fiffy - The age of youth, the youth of old age.

work safe

[siberianmo]

Gents!

Just fair warning - I'll be shuttin' it down for a few hours pretty soon. Party will continue, and perhaps some of the guys doing the Phantom Browse will pick it up for us and make a Post or two . . . . maybe we'll even see some of the guys who used to keep these parties movin' ....

Hey! That's CM3!! Awright - glad you made it in . . . [tup]

I do plan on returning in early evening, though . . . so, don't leave on my account!

Cindy has offered to take the bar in my absence! Any objections[?] Thought not![swg]

I'll be here for a bit longer, then gotta run . . . .

Tom[4:-)] [oX)]

[siberianmo]

Hey Doug! No fair - foul play (I should Tweeeeeeeet! you - but it's your Birthday! Cripes sake - no EDITING like that! Make a new Post - telling us you are checking out - backwards - doesn't get it! Now, you'll just have to make it up by refraining from Posting any more of those awful jokes![swg]

Tom[4:-)] [oX)]

[LoveDomes]

Gents!

This may be a good time for me to shut it down as well .... at least until a bit later on. Wife says that I have a few things to take care of before "soups on!" Translated, "Get your butt into the kitchen and help me with this dinner that you said YOU were going to prepare!"[swg]

Ok - I can "handle it!" Keep the place in check, Cindy my dear! Oh, my oh my .... wish it was really my Birthday! She'd make a lovely present!<grin>

As "Ahnold" once said, "I'll be baaaaaaaaaaack!"

Lars

[pwolfe]

Hi Tom and all.

[bday][bday][bday] To DOUG and LARS. I'll have a Bathams XXX to celebrate the day and a round for all at the party[tup][tup].

Glad the bad weather missed you yesterday TOM .Just to let you know what happened here. We spent a boring 45 minutes in the basement while the siren was going but we were lucky at Jeff City as I don't think there was much damage here. A tornado was spotted about 10 miles south of us but the storm skirted us.
Can I give a big [tup] to the local weather people especilly the chap on the local radio for their great job keeping us informed. Lets hope that the storms weaken before reaching our friends to the East.

Anyway back to the party.Great local Illinois and NY laws Tom. I think I shall have to go to pitchers of the strong Bathams to combat the Jokes. I never knew there was as many railroad jokes thanks BK.

DOUG and LARS I would love to do the Best Blonde Joke of the year But it might get me banned.IF you wonder about Doug's jokes how about this [?].

A man goes to the doctor.
MAN "Doctor I keep thinking I am a Cowboy.
DOCTOR " How long as this been going on "[?]
MAN. "About a YEEEEEAAAAHHHHH."

After that I had better hide in the corner for a while PETE.

[Anonymous]

OK Mr. CM3, now I'm going to share the birthday present everyone chipped-in to get for me!


I have to run again, but I'll be back!

[:I] A grasshopper walks into a bar, and hops up on the bar stool. The bartender walks over and goes, "Hey, we have a drink named after you."
The grasshopper turns to the bartender and goes, "You have a drink named Fred?" [:I]

[LoveDomes]

Hye Guys!

This is why I call myself LOVEDOMES!

Wabash #200 (1956, Moberly, MO)



#200 as Amtrak #9560 (1972, Newport News, VA)



Former Wabash #201 as N&W #1611


Former Wabash #201 as Amtrak #9561


Lars

[LoveDomes]

Evening Gents!

Well, I see that last post of mine really shook everyone up - so here's another "reason" why I call myself LOVEDOMES!

GN #1320 (from: www.trainweb.org)


GN #1321 (from: www.trainweb.org)


GN #1322 (from: www.trainweb.org)


GN #1323 (from: www.trainweb.com)


Cindy my dear, I'll take another one of those JDs on the rocks if you please![swg]

Lars