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Bad train show advice ?? Lets laugh out loud or giggle :)

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Posted by Anonymous on Monday, January 21, 2008 7:47 PM

I love it when a show opens the door and presents a ticket table.

That ticket table gets buried in 10's and 20's by the line. Within a few minutes... they are asking for small bills.

When you eyeball a item, dont enjoy the item. Look for stuff that is busted and easy for YOU to fix. It might be truly busted and unfixable. Be very careful to buy items within your repair abilities at the workbench.

Some dealers charge MSRP no matter what. Those Bachmann Silver Series log cars are 32 dollars each. It is getting to the point that the same dealer hauls the exact same cars to the show for YEARS and I STILL go through that box with these exact cars. Recognizeable by the flaws on the packaging and some damage to the cars that seem to increase with each show transport.

Test your locomotives at the nice train test table with thier various gauges of track. Allow the test man to slap the throttle wide open 100% and slam the engine to the end of the track FAST....

Dont participate in competition like engine drag races with children, thier reflexes and nerves are "Cleaner" and much faster than yours. You lose. The last time I participated I still had about 20% throttle left when I crossed the finish line. Possibly I may have let the kid win. Who knows?

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Posted by SteamFreak on Monday, January 21, 2008 7:24 PM
After we got separated at the last show my friend called me on my cell and asked where I was. I replied "Next to the grumpy old guys." I won't repeat his response. Smile,Wink, & Grin [swg]
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Posted by frankodragon on Monday, January 21, 2008 6:46 PM
I would carry one of those fart machines with me.  I did one time at a bus station and folks were stepping back.
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Posted by Fazby on Monday, January 21, 2008 6:30 PM

Since you just met me and don't know anything about me, my family, etc, be sure to use ethnic slurs freely.  Everyone knows "some of your best friends" love to be called that.

 

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Posted by jamnest on Monday, January 21, 2008 6:23 PM

I used to belong to a modualr club that displayed our layout a 6-10 shows per year.  I always hated the guy who bought a loco and just walked over to our layout and placed it on the tracks to see if it would run; without permission. 

Jim, Modeling the Kansas City Southern Lines in HO scale.

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Posted by Anonymous on Monday, January 21, 2008 6:09 PM
If you are a vendor make sure the kid you sucker into buying a locomotive that doesnt run isnt a club member running other stuff on the club modular. This happened last November. The kid tried it out and he went to try to get his money back the guy wouldnt at first. Then he refunded most of it. How nice. I dont believe he had an all sales final sign posted either.
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Posted by snagletooth on Monday, January 21, 2008 5:14 PM

People at trains are a great bunch, who love it when you comment about their wives/girlfriends as if they were model trains. Examples include:

"Wow, I've been looking for one of those all day, which table are they selling them at?"

"With all the new models, I commend you on fixing up something that old. Great details, by the way"

"I'll take that one. Wrong paint scheme, but I'm just gonna strip 'er down when I get home, anyway"

"Dude, I never knew you were into large scale"

 

Snagletooth
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Posted by concretelackey on Monday, January 21, 2008 4:57 PM
 concretelackey wrote:

 grayfox1119 wrote:
Walk past a crowd with your full bag saying to your friend/ wife , whatever, " I can't believe there're selling these for that price, what a steal  we got those for, there're selling like hotcakes"!!!  Then disappear fast into the crowd before someone can ask you "what, where, etc."

OR say to your shopping partner (real loud of course) "THE GUY AT THE END TABLE IN THIS ROW SAID 40% OFF STARTING AT 2 PM!!!!"

another crowd mover

 "DID YOU SEE THAT GUY SELLING BRASS ON THE OTHER SIDE? IMAGINE THAT....BUY 2 BRASS LOCOS AT 10% OFF MSRP AND GET THE THIRD OF YOUR CHOICE FOR $5.00!!!!"

Ken aka "CL" "TIS QUITE EASY TO SCREW CONCRETE UP BUT TIS DARN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO UNSCREW IT"
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Posted by grayfox1119 on Monday, January 21, 2008 4:46 PM
That's a great way to clear an area out to speak freely with the vendor at the other end ...LOL
Dick If you do what you always did, you'll get what you always got!! Learn from the mistakes of others, trust me........you can't live long enough to make all the mistakes yourself, I tried !! Picture album at :http://www.railimages.com/gallery/dickjubinville Picture album at:http://community.webshots.com/user/dickj19 local weather www.weatherlink.com/user/grayfox1119
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Posted by concretelackey on Monday, January 21, 2008 4:40 PM

 grayfox1119 wrote:
Walk past a crowd with your full bag saying to your friend/ wife , whatever, " I can't believe there're selling these for that price, what a steal  we got those for, there're selling like hotcakes"!!!  Then disappear fast into the crowd before someone can ask you "what, where, etc."

OR say to your shopping partner (real loud of course) "THE GUY AT THE END TABLE IN THIS ROW SAID 40% OFF STARTING AT 2 PM!!!!"

Ken aka "CL" "TIS QUITE EASY TO SCREW CONCRETE UP BUT TIS DARN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO UNSCREW IT"
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Posted by grayfox1119 on Monday, January 21, 2008 4:35 PM
Walk past a crowd with your full bag saying to your friend/ wife , whatever, " I can't believe there're selling these for that price, what a steal  we got those for, there're selling like hotcakes"!!!  Then disappear fast into the crowd before someone can ask you "what, where, etc."
Dick If you do what you always did, you'll get what you always got!! Learn from the mistakes of others, trust me........you can't live long enough to make all the mistakes yourself, I tried !! Picture album at :http://www.railimages.com/gallery/dickjubinville Picture album at:http://community.webshots.com/user/dickj19 local weather www.weatherlink.com/user/grayfox1119
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Posted by Guilford Guy on Monday, January 21, 2008 4:10 PM
 lvanhen wrote:

 Guilford Guy wrote:
Always say whats wrong and offer advice for their modules, even though you haven't built a layout in your life.

Are we talking about shows or the forum?Wink [;)]

Wherever its applicable Wink [;)] 

Alex

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Posted by lvanhen on Monday, January 21, 2008 4:07 PM

 Guilford Guy wrote:
Always say whats wrong and offer advice for their modules, even though you haven't built a layout in your life.

Are we talking about shows or the forum?Wink [;)]

Lou V H Photo by John
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Posted by Milepost 266.2 on Monday, January 21, 2008 4:02 PM

 SteamFreak wrote:
Always reserve the busiest dealer's table near the food court for a lively, high-volume debate about whether urine is sterile or not. (Overheard at the local Christmas show. Dead [xx(])

If that doesn't work, there's always politics.  Everybody really wants to know how much you hate (fill in the blank) because of (event that never really happened).

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Posted by Guilford Guy on Monday, January 21, 2008 4:02 PM
Always say whats wrong and offer advice for their modules, even though you haven't built a layout in your life.

Alex

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Posted by Milepost 266.2 on Monday, January 21, 2008 4:00 PM
 Trynn_Allen2 wrote:

For club members.  When the person who is in charge of the DCC is getting more frustrated at the system and is quickly losing his temper.  That is the time to ask him what's wrong and how fast will be it be running.  

 Be sure to offer helpful advice, but only if you've never touched a DCC controller (or any technology) in your life.  Saying "why not try turning it on!" and "is it plugged in right?" may be just what the operator needs to hear.

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Posted by leejax01 on Monday, January 21, 2008 3:41 PM
And don't forget to not wash your hand with the barely visible stamp that was put on at the door. Hand washing is overrated. You know how cheerful and willing to help the door attendants are as they try and figure out how grown men can still play with trains. Besides, they are way too busy trying to keep out all of those train show crashers. "No matter how many bags you have in your hands buddy, your not getting back in."
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Posted by Autobus Prime on Monday, January 21, 2008 2:15 PM

 Falls Valley RR wrote:

Beats me how [the young 'uns] think Docksiders from 30 years ago is Thomas.

FV:

Indeed.  Our 18 month old saw a little of one episode and plays with a Thomas noisemaking book at his grandma's, and somehow he figured things out enough to coo "Tho-mas!" every time he hears the engineers blow their horns across town.

(He also lines up his Duplo blocks and says "choo choo". Smile [:)])

 Currently president of: a slowly upgrading trainset fleet o'doom.
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Posted by Anonymous on Monday, January 21, 2008 1:59 PM
NEver wash your hands after going to the bathroom!  People want to shake your hand and take your dirty money, they like it very much if you dont wash your hands!  Its a waste of time if you do so.
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Posted by SteamFreak on Monday, January 21, 2008 1:54 PM
Always reserve the busiest dealer's table near the food court for a lively, high-volume debate about whether urine is sterile or not. (Overheard at the local Christmas show. Dead [xx(])
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Posted by Anonymous on Monday, January 21, 2008 12:12 PM
 ThatNScaleGuy wrote:

Don't forget to take THE DOG!!  If you don't have a dog, get the meanest, biggest and least friendly dog you can borrow.  You don't want to keep the dog, just use it to make space for you. Maybe a muzzle to avoid those pesky LAWSUITS also.  And use the statement "I can't remember the last time he bit somebody, it was last week or last month!"

 

Maybe go for the GRAND SLAM......Killer the dog out front, followed by a side by side stroller(with at least one kid in it, second child is optional) and a case of BO that would knock a buzzard off a garbage truck.  (There's another old saying about the buzzard, but not used here!)

The GRAND SLAM is guaranteed to work in any Train Show/Swap Meet that one can get into.

 

The Shock and Awe part would be having out-of-control kids running and running into every person's legs in the place, slamming into the corner tables cutting the corners at full speed.

Add the yelling in the high pitches at full volume and interject a tearful begging for every little engine in sight that resembles Thomas. Beats me how they think Docksiders from 30 years ago is Thomas.

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Posted by tetters on Monday, January 21, 2008 11:51 AM
 jeffers_mz wrote:

Sword fights with flex track.

 

I just about spit out my lunch when I read this one...the visuals it provides!  LOL!

Choo, Choo
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Posted by ThatNScaleGuy on Monday, January 21, 2008 10:12 AM

Don't forget to take THE DOG!!  If you don't have a dog, get the meanest, biggest and least friendly dog you can borrow.  You don't want to keep the dog, just use it to make space for you. Maybe a muzzle to avoid those pesky LAWSUITS also.  And use the statement "I can't remember the last time he bit somebody, it was last week or last month!"

 

Maybe go for the GRAND SLAM......Killer the dog out front, followed by a side by side stroller(with at least one kid in it, second child is optional) and a case of BO that would knock a buzzard off a garbage truck.  (There's another old saying about the buzzard, but not used here!)

The GRAND SLAM is guaranteed to work in any Train Show/Swap Meet that one can get into.

 

Honest Dear.....These Little Trains Don't Cost Near As Much As Those Big HO Trains!! Mark
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Posted by Trynn_Allen2 on Monday, January 21, 2008 9:48 AM

More useful advice.

If you see a female member of a train club running a train slide up to them and tell them that, "Girls don't run trains."  She'll thank you for it. ***WARNING!!!*** DON'T do this at the Mad City show.   I will not be held responsible nor will I have empathy for you as my wife beats the living HECK out of you.  Two years in a row is two years too many.

If you see a person holding a plastic box in his hand and concentrating on the layout in front of him, they are person to ask any questions to.  This is especially true if the layout is having bugs.

For club members.  When the person who is in charge of the DCC is getting more frustrated at the system and is quickly losing his temper.  That is the time to ask him what's wrong and how fast will be it be running.  ....hums to himself, "Kill da rabbit, Kill da rabbit...."

**Pet Peeve, but understandable one** When about to purchase a $200 engine that the guy wouldn't budge on, please have the curtisey to allow the purchaser to make sure it WORKS.  I was willing to leave my CC's, my wallet, my checkbook et al, to be allowed to take the train upstairs to the club layout to see if it worked.  The response, there is no upstairs to this train show.  There was, we were there, he still has the engine.

Be sure to ask the people holding the plastic box the same question three or four times in a row.  He won't mind.

Find a person that is actively engaged in rerailing a train and ask them if they find it difficult to keep so many wheels on the track.

Berate a customer for the item they selected, because you know that thier self-esteam should be kept it check or tell them that they could have bought the item from them for 1/3 less than they paid for it.  Got to keep those ego's in check.

Inform customers that the item they are looking for doesn't have a high enough mark up for them to stock and then proceed to tell them how horrible they are for even considering purchasing from that manufacturer.

Ring up the purchasers item and then slip them a different item, because that's what they really wanted.  Yeah like I collect anything from south of Illinios...  Thank god for cops that listen to reason, an independant set of eyes, oh and my gf's dad was there too...did I mention he was a lawyer.

Tell train clubs what they are modelling is stupid and they need more (insert odd, out of character items here) and that until that happens they aren't really a train club.

Tell modern clubs that their diseals are stupid and all they are is motorized boxcars

Tell steam clubs that they are stupid and need to grow up and move away from the overgrown teakettles.

Tell traction fans to get a life.

Be sanctimonious when you spot a brothel, house of ill repute, or even a run down motel and then loudly tell everyone that is listening that everyone that is looking or is responsible or happens to be within earshot, or maybe in the hall that they are going to Hell because of what was on the layout.

Just maybe the car was supposed to be in the drink and is not the result of some 4 year old and that you don't need to be well meaning and put the car back where it "should be".  We have a spot where a pair of lovers forgot to set the parking brake and thier car rolled into the river (based on a true story of a brand new van and prom night).  About every other hour we have to put the car back into the drink because some parent thinks thier kid moved it.

Sure go ahead and ignore that 3 strikes rule (three problems with a car and it's off the layout until the owner inspects AND fixes the problem) we like seeing trains breakdown every quarter lap.

Your wife will love you if pick purchase that Milw EF1 ACBD set.

 

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Posted by MisterBeasley on Monday, January 21, 2008 8:34 AM

Worst possible train show advice:

Don't go to train shows.

It takes an iron man to play with a toy iron horse. 

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Posted by dale8chevyss on Sunday, January 20, 2008 6:37 PM
I was at one today where some old guy goes "I wish there was an age requirement for this show!" I guess he was upset that he kept "falling" over the little ones that are there; my thought was "do you really want this hobby to die"?  Its bad enough with the cyber era and what have you, I am glad to see the little ones running around and keeping this hobby alive!  Jerk anyway. 

Modeling the N&W freelanced at the height of their steam era in HO.

 Daniel G.

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Posted by Soo Line fan on Sunday, January 20, 2008 6:21 PM

Here are my Dos and Don'ts as well as some helpful hints.

Do not worry about personal hygiene as it is unimportant, and highly overrated. No need to do anything special that you don't do on any other day. Why buy costly deodorant, soap, shampoo and tooth paste when you can spend the money on trains?

Do not forget the broken Tyco, you need something to display on your table and why bring the good stuff when the markup is better on junk?

Do not leave your table to eat. This is very rude as customers enjoy interacting with you as you consume your food. It's a great ice breaker!

Do not negotiate with any customers on price, it they want it bad enought they will pay your price. Besides, you can always haul the stuff around for the next 10 years. Somebody, someday will buy it.

Do stop at Walmart and pickup some 1/87 autos to sell. Make sure the markup is at least 300%. No need to remove the annoying price tags, just mark over them.

Do monopolize the dealers with as many questions as possible, the more inane the better. Just because you have no intention of buying anything is not an excuse for being anti-social. Others can wait their turn to make a purchase or better yet come back to the next show.

Do wear your best vest, complete with every button and patch known to man. Ditto on the engineer and 3 piece conductors attire. Bring the wooden train whistle and blow loud and blow it often. What is a train show without strange stares from the masses?

Do stare with your mouth wide open at each and every female you see. Don't forget the wolf whistles. Just because they are somebody's wife, GF or daughter is no reason for a little discretion.  What better place to meet the girl of your dreams? I'm sure they will understand the hygiene issue.

Do congregate in the most high traffic area as possible with your friends & family. Show goers can always go around using the next isle.

 

Jim

Jim

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Posted by concretelackey on Sunday, January 20, 2008 5:20 PM
If you notice anyone trying to troubleshoot a loco, wait til they remove the loco from the track and then casually unplug the extension cord powering the layout.....BEFORE the loco goes back on the rails.
Ken aka "CL" "TIS QUITE EASY TO SCREW CONCRETE UP BUT TIS DARN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO UNSCREW IT"
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Posted by sleeper33 on Sunday, January 20, 2008 5:17 PM

There is some good advice on here.

 might come in handy for the next show i go to.

 here's another 1 :go to a bar half way through( if not 1 on site) then haggle with traders ( just a thought)Whistling [:-^]

Gav

Gav TRYING TO DO EVERYTHING AT ONCE AND NOT GETTING ANYWERE

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