HAPPY 60th BIRTHDAY MOOKIE

[JoeKoh]

By order of special agent Matt (birthday police division). I am here to serve notice that this Sunday Dec 7 is Mookies 60th birthday.We wish her nothing but the best for her birthday[:)]We are sure there will be chocolate cake involved.So if you see a warm glow in middle america dont worry its just the candles on mookies birthday cake[;)]
Happy Birthday Mookie(and many more!)
stay safe
Joe mamma and Matt

[locomutt]

MOOKIE, No matter what I've ever said[?]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You At least of all people deserve a day of praise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We all LOVE YOU!!!!!
locomutt&wife[8D]

[locomutt]

Bye the Mookie, I just (as you will) celebrated
53 years[?][:p]
locomutt[8D]

[edblysard]

To Madame Mookie,
Queen Unihead, Keeper of he Cake, Guardian of the Closet, Master of the Yellow and the Hangie down Thinigies, Finder of the Lost, and one of the most enjoyable people here,
we, Ed, Aimee, Dona, Elizabeth and Morgan wish you the most happy of birthdays!
May God grant you the wisdome to change the things you can, ignore those you cant, and laugh your butt of at the rest of us![:D]

[Modelcar]

....Happy best wishes for your birthday Jen. [8D]

[locomutt]

Keeper of the cake[?]
Was it chocolate[?]
THANKS FOR BEING YOU!!
We wouldn't have a Mookie,if she didn't
stop writing![:p]

locomutt[8D]

[Willy2]

Happy birthday Mookie! Hope you get lots chocolate cake!

[locomutt]

Mookie,I have a computer,which comes with a Mouse[?]
Why do I have a CAT sitting next to me[?]

locomutt[8D]

[Anonymous]

Well Mookie, welcome to the ranks of, what are now called, senior citizens. If you survive it, it is a great decade, cheap fares, cheap movie seats and best of all, grandkids you can actually play with. So happy birthday and many of them. I lift a glass in your honor. Cheers.

[Granny74]

Mookie: Happy Birthday from Bob and me. I have to tell you that I always thought you were a young gal in your twenties ---and I am not kidding about this or making a smart remark. I am serious. When you sent a message to Bob one time about his being 20 years older than you, I thought that you were just kidding. Anyway, have a glorious birthday and lots of chocolate cake!
Bob wants to know if you have the new coach yet for our team. From what we have read, there has been quite a few comments about the firing of Solich.
Take care, have fun, and thanks for cheering Bob, me, and the rest of this forum group with your great messages.
Nance

[Mikeygaw]

special for Mookie (who happens to share a birthday with my aunt) ... some kitty humor!


A cat's dictionary

Purring: Sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness

Purrverse: Poem about a strange kitty.

Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.

Human being: Automatic door opener for cats.

Purrpetual: Everlasting love for domesticated felines.

Purrson: A male kitty.

Purrpetual motion: A kitty playing.

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The cat's chalkboard assignments

In order to punish your cat for poor behavior, here are a list of items that the cat may write on a chalkboard. A. Fill in the blanks

1. [xxx] is not food.
Dental floss, plants, Kleenex, toilet paper, human's homework, photographs, shoes, sweaters, socks, the couch, electrical cords/devices, phone cord, vases of flowers, my poop, electric wiring, the rubber fi***oy my human drags around for me to play with; rubber bands; Mom's toe; the HUGE fly; used Q-tips; the other cat's vomited food.

2. I will not jump on the [xxx].
kitchen counter, table, stove, barbecue, my human's full bladder at 5:30 A.M., bed at night, TV, bed from the top of the wardrobe at night

3. I will not sharpen my claws on the [xxx].
sofa, carpet, drapes, my human's leg, my human's boss's leg, the new speakers, wallpaper, window screen, car tires.

4. I will not pee/poop/barf a hairball on the [xxx].
floor, carpet, sofa, clean laundry, sleeping human, human's tax return, the tax auditor, TV, baby's mattress, kitchen counter, dining room table, big people's shoes, bathtub, my Dad's collection of (expensive) Nazi daggers, marble floor (acid vomit+marble=etched marble).

5. I will not climb the [xxx].
Screen, bulletin board, speaker, curtains, redwood trees, walls, lampposts.

6. I will not dunk [xxx] into my water dish.
Tissues, my toy mouse, the house plants, half-digested food

7. I will not hide [xxx].
Pens, curlers, or house keys under the carpet.

8. I recognize that the [xxx] has a right to exist.
Belt, fringe on the bathroom rug, fuzzy toilet seat, house plant, human's toes, baby, human, blue jays outside, teddy bear

9. [xxx] is not cat food.
Chocolate, bananas, pizza, any human food, tea

10. [xxx] is not a bed.
The stove, the pot (not hot) on the stove, sink, the crystal bowl from the people's wedding, piano strings, Mommy's sock drawer, the inside of the antique radio, the car, the electric organ, the computer keyboard.

11. [xxx] is not prey/a toy.
The paper coming from the printer; the newspaper; Mummy; open milk cartons; toilet paper; pantyhose; paper clips; human's toes; Christmas tree ornaments; the produce ripening on the kitchen counter; Q-tips; Black Widow spiders; any food, whether wrapped in something or not; the sheets; the computer mouse; Mommy's snow white lace garter from her wedding with the beautiful tasty maribou feathers on it;

12. I will not try to climb into the [xxx].
Freezer, refrigerator, washing machine, dryer, dishwasher, garage.
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Top 9 Signs Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password

9. E-mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy."

8. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.

7. You find you've been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip.

6. Your mouse has teeth marks in it... and a strange aroma of tuna.

5. Hate-mail messages to Apple Computers, Inc. about thier release of "CyberDog."

4. Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.

3. You keep finding new software around your house like CatinTax and WarCat II.

2. On IRC you're known as the IronMouser.

and the #1 Sign Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password...

1. Little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching post
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Feline Physics Laws

Law of Cat Inertia

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism

All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics

Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching

A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping

All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Elongation

A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Obstruction

A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.

Law of Cat Acceleration

A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance

Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Rug Configuration

No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

Law of Obedience Resistance

A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

First Law of Energy Conservation

Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation

Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Refrigerator Observation

If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction

Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking

A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy

All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Embarrassment

A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Milk Consumption

A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

Law of Furniture Replacement

A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing

A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid- section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

Law of Fluid Displacement

A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

Law of Cat Disinterest

A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

Law of Pill Rejection

Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Law of Cat Composition

A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
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The Feline Diet
Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! This diet will also work on humans! Except for cats that eat like people -- such as getting lots of table scraps -- most cats are long and lean (or tiny and petite). the Cat Miracle Diet will help you achieve the same lean, svelte figure. Just follow this diet for one week and you'll find that you not only look and feel better, but you will have a whole new outlook on what constitutes food. Good Luck!

DAY ONE

Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet cat food. Any flavor as long as it cost more the .75 per can -- and place 1/4 cup on your plate. Eat 1 bite of food; look around room disdainfully. Knock the rest on the floor. Stare at the wall for awhile before stalking off into the other room.

Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up on the cleanest carpet in your house.

Dinner: Catch a moth and play with it until it is almost dead. Eat one wing. Leave the rest to die.

Bedtime snack: Steal one green bean from your spouse's or partner's plate. Bat it around the floor until it goes under the refrigerator. Steal one small piece of chicken and eat half of it. Leave the other half on the sofa. Throw out the remaining gourmet cat food from the can you opened this morning.

DAY TWO

Breakfast: Picking up the remaining chicken bite from the sofa. Knock it onto the carpet and bat it under the television set. Chew on the corner of the newspaper as your spouse/partner tries to read it.

Lunch: Break into the fresh French bread that you bought as your part of the dinner party on Saturday. Lick the top of it all over. Take one bite out of the middle of the loaf.

Afternoon snack: Catch a large beetle and bring it into the house. Play toss and catch with it until it is mushy and half dead. Allow it to escape under the bed.

Dinner: Open a fresh can of dark-colored gourmet cat food -- tuna or beef works well. Eat it voraciously. Walk from your kitchen to the edge of the living room rug. Promptly throw up on the rug. Step into it as you leave. Track footprints across the entire room.

DAY THREE

Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse's or partner's cereal bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part of it on the closest polished aluminum appliance you can find.

Lunch: Catch a small bird and bring it into the house. Play with on top of your down filled comforter. Make sure the bird is seriously injured but not dead before you abandon it for someone else to have to deal with.

Dinner: Beg and cry until you are given some ice cream or milk in a bowl of your own. Take three licks/laps and then turn the bowl over on the floor.

FINAL DAY

Breakfast: Eat 6 bugs, any type, being sure to leave a collection of legs, wings, antennae on the bathroom floor. Drink lots of water. Throw the bugs and all of the water up on your spouse's or partner's pillow.

Lunch: Remove the chicken skin from last night's chicken-to-go leftovers your spouse or partner placed in the trash can. Drag the skin across the floor several times. Chew it in a corner and then abandon.

Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a flavor that is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in Gravy. Lick off all the gravy and leave the actual meat to dry and get hard.

[Anonymous]

JoeKoh isn't trying to get all of us in trouble by saying your age, is he? I, just like Nance and Bob, thought you were in your 20s as well. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Happy birthday from all of us in the Kilgore household.

[adrianspeeder]

Mook, post number 101goes out to you. SALUTE!!!

Adrianspeeder

[louisnash]

Mookie,

Got to wish you a joyous birthday. Enjoy every last minute of it.

Could you please keep that snow in your area on Friday and not send it to Greater Cincy area?!?!

We don't need it this early.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND A PINCH TO GROW AN INCH!!!!

Brian (KY)

[sooblue]

Happy birthday Jenny !
Dec. 7th.........Hmm.......one year later......I bet your entry into the world was just as explosive.
Sooblue

[Puckdropper]

In the cat humor, I found a huge item forgotten:

Law of Cat Motion 2:
A cat, when walking, will avoid the floor if at all possible.

[CShaveRR]

I was going to wait until Saturday night to remind everyone, but Joe jumped the gun.

I'm sure if I referred to my little sister by the proper "...generian" term, she'd blush.

For those who are worried about people divulging Jen's age, she herself mentioned it (and her birthday) once elsewhere in the forum.

And now, for the Birthday Girl: have a great day, a great year, and many more! We hope somebody buys you a home computer soon, or else UNL had better not let you retire. Your curiosity and wit are what make this forum so much fun. From your big brother (notice I didn't say "older"), a tousle of the hair and an arm around your shoulders (and I wish I could do it in person...maybe next year?).

Affectionately,
Carl

[Anonymous]

MOOKIE!
The forums would be nothing like they are today without you here. Thank you for your entertaining and wise posts, we certainly have a lot to learn from you.
Dont forget to eat chocolate cake. And CHEESEcake too![:D]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

[Anonymous]

Happy Birthday Mookie [:I]

Happy Birthday Mookie [:o)]

Happy Birthday Mookie [8)]

Hey Mookie, did I tell you Happy Birthday yet? [:D]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY and many more. [:)]

[Mookie]

What a way to start my day! Thank you all so much for your good wishes. Once again you have me laughing and crying at the same time - I'm emotional - I'm female - it all "tracks".....

I don't mind people knowing how old I am - it is mind over matter; if you don't mind, it won't matter! My picture shows a little gray hair - and believe me I have earned it! But other than that, it has been a good 60 years. I have my health, a good husband and family and, hopefully, some of my sense of humor has remained intact. I don't take myself or life too seriously, and still don't know what career I want to follow when I do grow up!

I enjoy interacting with the forum posters and you are so patient with answering my questions. I have learned a lot and forgotten a lot - no, just misplaced some items, I guess. So sometimes I will re-ask the same question. But isn't that what the forums are all about?

Going to spend Sat and Sun watching trains and spending time with family and friends. Chocolate Cake/Cheese Cake - now there is a quandry - but not chocolate cheese cake - even the Mookie has her limits!

So thank you for all the good wishes and here's to many more questions from and answers for......

The Mookie

[Mookie]

QUOTE: Originally posted by nance69

Mookie: Happy Birthday from Bob and me. I have to tell you that I always thought you were a young gal in your twenties ---and I am not kidding about this or making a smart remark. I am serious. When you sent a message to Bob one time about his being 20 years older than you, I thought that you were just kidding. Anyway, have a glorious birthday and lots of chocolate cake!
Bob wants to know if you have the new coach yet for our team. From what we have read, there has been quite a few comments about the firing of Solich.
Take care, have fun, and thanks for cheering Bob, me, and the rest of this forum group with your great messages.
Nance

You know, it has just been chaos here in Lincoln after the AD let the coach go. Now looks like we may lose a couple more coaches. The public as a whole is very angry about this. (I get some of their phone calls). But as they say - life goes on. I hope something positive happens very soon. This is almost more serious than the budget crunch! [:)]

Jen

[Mookie]

Mikeygaw - that was so funny and so true. The real Mookie is all of the Feline Physics Law - she has never been really adventurous, so most of my things were safe. But when it came to the bed or the floor - That's Mookie!

We have a queen size bed - we sleep vertically - Mook sleeps between us - horizontally. It's like sleeping on a cot...

Mookie's Mom

[locomutt]

Mickeygaw,
Was that a Catty Response,or not[?]
locomutt[:p]

The computer and I can't figure out
why we still have the Mouse,and the
CAT keeps looking!!!![:D]

[locomutt]

Again HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOOKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is that you[?],or the CAT[?]

locomutt[:)]

[JoeKoh]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Jess Kilgore

JoeKoh isn't trying to get all of us in trouble by saying your age, is he? I, just like Nance and Bob, thought you were in your 20s as well. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Happy birthday from all of us in the Kilgore household.

Trouble?Me?[:)] well my middle name does start with "T"[:)]
thanks everyone for making auntie (sis) mookies day even better.
stay safe
Joe

[dharmon]

Happy B-day Jen.

[Anonymous]

Happy big six-oh, Madame de Mook. The Lord's Blessings on your punkin haid.

[Anonymous]

Happy Birthday!

[Nora]

Happy birthday (a day late)! Did you get some cake?

--Nora

[Anonymous]

Madame la M.,

I totally agree with all the good things everybody has already said in this thread - we're extremely happy to have you here! Happy birthday!!!!

Oliver

By the way, I adore cats, at home we have a beautiful Chartreux cat (she's totally gray with yellow eyes - we call this kind the "Russian blue" - I'm not sure if those are one and the same breed), and now I have a perfect "excuse" to post the following:

"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic."

"One cat just leads to another." - Ernest Hemingway

"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." - Anonymous

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." - Jeff Valdez

"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." - English proverb

"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." - Ellen Perry Berkeley

"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are divine."

"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." - Mary Bly

"Teaching 4th Graders is like herding cats." - Marian Wise

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." - anonymous

"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats." - Anonymous

"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." - Hippolyte Taine

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."- Albert Schweitzer

"Time spent with cats is never wasted." - Colette

"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." - Anonymous

"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." - Missy Dizick... heh, heh, heh...

"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats." - Colonial American proverb

"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want." - Joseph Wood Krutch

"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit." - John S. Nichols

"Jerry dear said it was him or the cat.... I miss him sometimes."


OWNER'S GUIDE FOR CATS
- submitted by Sir Reginald Fluffy-Mittens
____________________________________________

Cats are beautiful, sophisticated, intelligent creatures. And
with a little love and caring, they can keep a human being alive
for upwards of seventy to eighty years. If you follow these simple
instructions, you can have your human housetrained in no time.

CLEANLINESS: For some reasons, humans seem to enjoy immersing
themselves in running water. Attempts to get humans to lick
themselves clean have proven interesting, if unproductive.

COMMUNICATION: Humans are unable to speak a proper language.
Therefore, you should communicate a point loudly, repeatedly,
and if at all possible, at about three in the morning. Any
attempts at human-to-cat communication can be dealt with by
simply ignoring it until it stops.

FEEDING: Morning feeding should start promptly when your human
is fast asleep, preferably three or four minutes before the alarm
is supposed to go off. Recommended methods of waking your human
include: sitting on its face, screaming in its ear, and biting its
hair.

MATING: Human mating behavior is fascinating. Unfortunately,
humans tend to get easily spooked by prolonged study of courtship
rituals, and resort to shoe-throwing behavior.

TOILET TRAINING: A human's natural tendency is to not change your
litter box. Although experts in human behavior believe it can be
attributed to the "laziness reflex," this can be easily corrected
through what is called "shoe therapy." Just remember that a human
shoe looks a lot like a human toilet, and you should be fine.

Following these simple tips is the first step towards a long and
productive cat/human relationship.