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[CShaveRR]

Jen, this isn't as far off topic as you may think...I've seen a similar list of problems with modifications made to put it in a railroad environment (you could cover half of them by changing "cockpit" to "cab"). Hard to tell what was original.

It had another good one:

Problem: Excessive vibration at speeds over 65 m.p.h.
Fix: Could not reproduce problem in shop.

[Anonymous]

Jen,

Many laughs. I copied and pasted them to my brother-in-law who is an airframe tech at the military airbase down the road. He will really appreciate the humor.

Jeff

[Anonymous]

Jen,

Many laughs. I copied and pasted them to my brother-in-law who is an airframe tech at the military airbase down the road. He will really appreciate the humor.

Jeff

[zardoz]

Jen-
I got a real good laugh from them.....THANKS

[zardoz]

Jen-
I got a real good laugh from them.....THANKS

[Mookie]

Jim, when I read this I immediately thought of you. But I wanted to share with all our friends on the forum, even those that will yell at me for going off topic!

Jen

[Mookie]

Jim, when I read this I immediately thought of you. But I wanted to share with all our friends on the forum, even those that will yell at me for going off topic!

Jen

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

OK - so things are a little slow - which for me, is a good place to interject this!

You have all probably read or heard this - but I found it quite amusing and maybe even could apply to trains!

From Qantas - first line is problem from pilot (bad order)
2nd line is from engineers (probably mechanics)

# 3 engine missing
Engine found on right wing after brief search

Aircraft handles funny
Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious

Mouse in cockpit
Cat installed

Happy Day!

Jen

Hi Jen FYI Since I work on aircraft I have seen these "squaks" many times. I still think they are funny. I have left my favorite ones above. In reference to the "mouse in cockpit", today there are 2 "mouse" in the cockpit. They have a fancy name-- Cursor Control Units or CCU for short. The dials and gages of past have now been replaced by a monitor (actually 4 monitors) called Primary Flight Display or Secondary Flight Display (Multifunction Flight Display). Two of these displays are for the pilot and the other two are for the co-pilot. The new breed of locos also have computer displays, but some of our rr buddies will have to tell us what they call them. Also today many jet aircraft are tri-jets, meaning they have 3 engines not 2 or 4. The #2 engine is not on a wing but located above the cabin or on the tail. [;)]

A friend of mine worked at the local Army Nationaly Guard base as a contractor (he was not a military person). He told me that many time the pilots would act like big shots and belittle them. So to get back at the pilots they would write a squak on the coffee maker, and lock out the circuit breaker. Therefore, the pilots would not be able to make or drink coffee during the next flight. [:(] LOL He said after they did this the pilots were always nicer when they returned from a long flight. [:D]

Have a great day.

Stay Safe , and remember Look, Listen, and Live

Don't forget the troops.

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Mookie

OK - so things are a little slow - which for me, is a good place to interject this!

You have all probably read or heard this - but I found it quite amusing and maybe even could apply to trains!

From Qantas - first line is problem from pilot (bad order)
2nd line is from engineers (probably mechanics)

# 3 engine missing
Engine found on right wing after brief search

Aircraft handles funny
Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious

Mouse in cockpit
Cat installed

Happy Day!

Jen

Hi Jen FYI Since I work on aircraft I have seen these "squaks" many times. I still think they are funny. I have left my favorite ones above. In reference to the "mouse in cockpit", today there are 2 "mouse" in the cockpit. They have a fancy name-- Cursor Control Units or CCU for short. The dials and gages of past have now been replaced by a monitor (actually 4 monitors) called Primary Flight Display or Secondary Flight Display (Multifunction Flight Display). Two of these displays are for the pilot and the other two are for the co-pilot. The new breed of locos also have computer displays, but some of our rr buddies will have to tell us what they call them. Also today many jet aircraft are tri-jets, meaning they have 3 engines not 2 or 4. The #2 engine is not on a wing but located above the cabin or on the tail. [;)]

A friend of mine worked at the local Army Nationaly Guard base as a contractor (he was not a military person). He told me that many time the pilots would act like big shots and belittle them. So to get back at the pilots they would write a squak on the coffee maker, and lock out the circuit breaker. Therefore, the pilots would not be able to make or drink coffee during the next flight. [:(] LOL He said after they did this the pilots were always nicer when they returned from a long flight. [:D]

Have a great day.

Stay Safe , and remember Look, Listen, and Live

Don't forget the troops.

[JoeKoh]

hey matts a growing boy! not no midget!
staysafe
joe

[JoeKoh]

hey matts a growing boy! not no midget!
staysafe
joe

[Mookie]

OK - so things are a little slow - which for me, is a good place to interject this!

You have all probably read or heard this - but I found it quite amusing and maybe even could apply to trains!

From Qantas - first line is problem from pilot (bad order)
2nd line is from engineers (probably mechanics)

Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
Almost replaced left inside main tire

Test flight OK except auto-land very rough
Auto-land not installed on this aircraft

Something loose in cockpit
Something tightened in cockpit

Dead bugs on windshield
Live bugs on backorder

Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
Cannot reproduce problem on ground

Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
Evidence removed

DME volume unbelievably loud
DME volume set to more believable level

Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
That's what they are there for

IFF inoperative
IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

Suspected crack in windshield
Suspect you are right

# 3 engine missing
Engine found on right wing after brief search

Aircraft handles funny
Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious

Target radar hums
Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics

Mouse in cockpit
Cat installed

Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer
Took hammer away from midget

Happy Day!

Jen

[Mookie]

OK - so things are a little slow - which for me, is a good place to interject this!

You have all probably read or heard this - but I found it quite amusing and maybe even could apply to trains!

From Qantas - first line is problem from pilot (bad order)
2nd line is from engineers (probably mechanics)

Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
Almost replaced left inside main tire

Test flight OK except auto-land very rough
Auto-land not installed on this aircraft

Something loose in cockpit
Something tightened in cockpit

Dead bugs on windshield
Live bugs on backorder

Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
Cannot reproduce problem on ground

Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
Evidence removed

DME volume unbelievably loud
DME volume set to more believable level

Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
That's what they are there for

IFF inoperative
IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

Suspected crack in windshield
Suspect you are right

# 3 engine missing
Engine found on right wing after brief search

Aircraft handles funny
Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious

Target radar hums
Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics

Mouse in cockpit
Cat installed

Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer
Took hammer away from midget

Happy Day!

Jen

[GDRMCo]

[8]

[GDRMCo]

[8]