How to Make your Car more like a Locomotive (Humor)

[Anonymous]

Hello,
For those of you who can't get enough of trains, here are some tips to make your car more like a locomotive. Please chime in on this with your own ideas [:)]! (Sort of like a you might be a railfan if...).

1.) You paint all controls in the car red, except for the AC which is yellow.
2.) You replace your steering wheel with a handbrake wheel (DON'T do this--it would be pretty bad on your face if you hit it in a collision)
3.) You fly green or white flags on top of the windows on each side.
4.) You throw fusees out your back window in traffic.
5.) You put a light on top of the roof to have a headlight and ditch lights.
6.) You put your elbow on the window sill and wave to kids.
7.) You put in a steam generator and booster.
8.) Your train has numberoards and you call signals.

Please join in.

[Anonymous]

I saw a hitch cover that looks like coupler.

[TH&B]

9) Put a tow hitch front and back.
10) Put a UP "patch" logo on car.
11) Take mufflers off to make car sound like locomotive.
12) Have a rear facing headlight.
13) Add bell

Yes this aut to make your Toyota Ecco look like an SD9 .... or NOT
Throwing fuzys out the back when someone is tailgating you is funny.

[CopCarSS]

Put 8 stops on your gas pedal.

[chad thomas]

Don't forget to add a snowplow.

[Anonymous]

Don't wash it either!

[trainboyH16-44]

And add walkways on the sides and front, make it more chunky, and add a 3 tone airhorn with a compressor, and blow it when you come to another road!
Matthew

[Anonymous]

Try and fit a 645 with 16 cylinders into a Toyota Corolla!

[Anonymous]

Stick out your arm to grab train-order hoops mounted to the ground [:)]!

[Anonymous]

hell, a 645 is bigger than a corolla wheelbase[:0]


not for a car though, my dad has 2 old TP&W dual aspect dwarf signals. we want to wire them up at the end of our driveway! OMG they are HEAVY!

[tree68]

Replace your horn button with a pull cord... (or a lever).

Alcophiles - mount red, green, and white class lights on your grille (or over the windshield). Check motor vehicle laws before you actually turn them on though.

Add an armrest to your window sill. Add an awning (or winter enclosure) to the driver's side window.

Operational -
Toot your horn twice before you start moving forward (three times for reverse).

Drive your spouse nuts -
Refer to the shopping/to do list as a track warrant, Form D, EC-1, or maybe a switch list.

Call all (traffic) signals.

When you stop to pick someone up or drop them off, call out "three step applied" or whatever your favorite RR does.

When everyone is in and buckled up, call out "Highball" as you begin to move (right before the toots on the horn!)

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by tree68

When everyone is in and buckled up, call out "Highball" as you begin to move (right before the toots on the horn!)

when we all get together railfanning, we do that, along with making the "phiiiish" sound of setting the air when we stop[:D]

[Mookie]

Wear bib overalls, engineer's cap and carry a grip (so no one thinks you might possibly be a farmer!)

(can you still buy bibbies?)

Mook

[chad thomas]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Soo6058

hell, a 645 is bigger than a corolla wheelbase[:0]

You might be able to fit the Corrola in the 645.[;)]

[upchuck]

DISCONNECT THE OXYGEN SENSOR, BLOCK OFF MOST OF THE AIR INTAKE,
AND SMOKE LIKE AN ALCO

[CSXrules4eva]

Install air brakes on your vehicle and get rid of that hydraulic crap. Make sure you have a 4 cyl conmpressor. hehehehe

Put 40 or 45 inch wheels on your car or truck. For those of you who are steam fans put 70 inch drivers on the car with drawbars.

Make sure your engine sounds like an EMD, GE, or ALCO.

Replace your controls with an independent brake and a automatic brake leaver, git rid of the brake petal on the floor. Make sure you have dynamic brakes.

Have in cab signals.

Air horns a must!!!

Have a knuckle type coupler.

Make sure the outside is equiped with reflective equipment and make sure you have a logo or decal on the sides and on the front of the car.

[AntonioFP45]

Here in Tampa there is a business that actually sells locomotive horns for pickup trucks! Forgot the name, but it's on Kennedy Blvd. Should turn up on your search engine. Couple of young 20 something guys are the owners. [:p]

You get the horns, air tank, compressor, valves, and mounting hardware. The tank is mounted in the bed, the horns are mounted in the engine comparment. Cost is from $200 dollars and up. Horns sound like the Leslie "S" series, 3 chimers.[:0]

Now, the catch is if you blow the horns in public streets the police are going to have some fun with you! [:D][8D][B)]

[Anonymous]

Dynamic brakes I have - the button has a little snowflake on it. For some reason there's a side effect of cold air blowing out of the vents [%-)].

Other people call it air conditioning - I find it works very well for boosting engine braking on long downhills (can come down at a steady speed even while fully loaded without using the footbrake).

[Anonymous]

somebody sells KL-3s and KL-5s for trucks too.... i was at a BIG diesel truck meet, and someone had one on his truck, he was flying down the road, sounded JUST like the real thing at track speed! started looking around saying "i never saw any tracks around here?!?!"

[upchuck]

PUT IT IN REVERSE AT A STOPLIGHT, PUNCH IT, AND TELL THE GUY BEHIND YOU
THAT YOU WERE TAKING OUT THE SLACK.

[Anonymous]

Forget a four cylinder compressor--go with cross compound!

Better yet, make your car a cross-tandem-Vauclain-Mallet-compound 2-2-0!

[Anonymous]

Get a trailer, make it into a "rotary" and back up through the snow!

[upchuck]

IF YOU HAVE A SUB-COMPACT, TAKE OFF THE TIRES, DRIVE AROUND ON THE RIMS, AND PEOPLE WILL THINK ITS A SPEEDER.

[Anonymous]

Install an EOTD to the rear of your car or trucks trailer hitch Coupler. But make sure it Flashes on the rear.
Allan.

[espeefoamer]

A friend of mine once had a crossing bell mounted under his hood with a switch on the dashboard to activate it.

[PBenham]

Drive an old VW beetle! No defroster meant that you had to drive around in the coldest weather with your head out the window like an engineer (or a dog).Either way it was really cold. Railfanning in one on a very cold day wasn't for the sane. I would like to have a locomotive horn sound alike, but The New York Soviet Socialist Republic, forbids "loud or novelty horns". Western New York ARISE Shake off the shackles of downstate oppression and...[banghead] [B)](The Administrators have intervened over this loon [;)]and this sort of foolishness won't be allowed, until we get lazy[|)] or bored[|)]--Or both[xx(]) Bless the starving pigmies in New Guinea. I declare, amen.

[TrainFreak409]

Whenever I get a car, it will have airhorns, and a rear knuckle coupler hitch. And my older brother said that he could help me make a sheet metal cowcatcher for it like they did on Monster Garage on the Dodge Magnum.[:D]

[upchuck]

KEEP THE PARKING BRAKE APPLIED WHILE YOU DRIVE AND IMAGINE YOU
ARE SMOKIN' DOWN SHERMAN HILL

[PBenham]

[:p]One could buy a trackmobile, but most of 'em get poor[:(] fuel mileage. But when the urge strikes, just put her on the rail line of your choice, have your lawyer's phone number [:0]on one touch in your cell phone and have fun![}:)] This in no way condones trespassing on live rail lines, which I hope we all know can be dangerous!

[upchuck]

What happens if one of these contraptions hits a DEAD COW ON TRACKS ?