You know you're a railfan when...

[Anonymous]

...When you go to the drive-in movies and you're more interested in the track by the theater thn the movie.

Of course I was five then...

Sadly, the theater and the track are gone now, but I have some fond memories...

[Anonymous]

Oops, forgot this one.

1) You're first roll of film taken while on your honeymoon has several pictures of your wife posing infront of the Red Caboose's signs.

[Anonymous]

New member here, who found an ancient printout of this topic from a long gone board, dating back to when he was running on AOL 2.5 on windows 3.1....

These are ALL True, and I'm still married despite them:

1) You convince your bride to be that Lancaster PA is the perfect place to Honeymoon. You site the shopping, antique shops, entertainment, a side trip to Hershey Park, and the possibility of a romantic dinner on the Strasburg Railroad.

2) Upon arriving and checking into your hotel (Not the red caboose, that comes when you have children...) you manage to trick her into outlet shopping via the TCA Museum.

3) You're romantic dinner on the train is accompanied by a short trip to the Railroad Museum of PA, and several rides on the pump car at the Strasburg Railroad yard.

4) You talk her into taking the extra tours, like the J Tower, and she actually enjoys them (perhaps she's becoming a railfan???)

5) On the trip to Hershey Park you take the mono-rail ride a dozen times to see the railroad tracks alongside the chocolate factory.

6) Inbetween riding the mono-rail you take thier park train a complimentary dozen times.

7) On the last day of your honeymoon, instead of sleeping in, and enjoying more intimate moments in your lovely honeymoon suite, you check out early to go to the Strasburg Yard to watch the morning hostler. You then sit in your rented SUV, explaining to your still sleepy wife the entire history of #90, and how it's really a steam engine.

8) When she's ok with all of this, and actually encorages shopping at the Strasburg Train Shop, you realize you married her because she is the greatest woman ever.

[Anonymous]

you know your a railfan when you post on forums like this.

[Anonymous]

Possible steam-fan upgrades to an automobile...

...replace brakes with non-self-lapping brake system
...put in brake cut-out valve for doubleheading cars
...replace all handles with brass, paint red, and rub, so you get the shiny brass/chipping red paint look
...remove spedometer
...paint locomotive specifications and number on front doors
...purchase and haul trailer, so you have some place to put the "railroad name"
...insist that your windows be FRA glazed
...install pad for window sill, and cross-compound air compressor on hood
...put steps from door down
...put 24 inch long tubes, 18 inches in diameter, on sides at front of automobile
...put green/white classification lanterns up
...whenever you go some place you do not intend to revisit, write on side of automobile, "The last train to ______."

See you around the forums,
Daniel

[MP57313]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Junctionfan
[14/ You chastise your kids for not knowing what BNSF stands for

That reminds me...when I was in 8th grade (Cambridge, MA early 70s) in one of our geography classes, there were a series of questions about places, transportation, etc. Students were called on, and the one who had to answer the railroad question did not know th elocal carrier [Boston & Maine was the expected answer].

The teacher, who was in her late 60s or 70s herself, also mentioned the full 'New York New Haven & Hartford' name. I was impressed she knew the whole name and was not about to point out that it had by then become part of Penn Central. One did not correct the teacher in those days.

[tree68]

You're running late for an important meeting, but don't mind that the gates are going down. After all, you can say you were delayed by a train!

Just happened. Short train, though...

Or, in the above circumstance, you can see that the gates are going to go down, so you slow down...

[morseman]

about five years ago I was in the Sears catalogue store in Bracebridge, Ontario with my wife who was paying her bill. I was admiring a riding lawn mower and pushed it into a rack of decorative dinner plates breaking two or three, luckily none of them were RR plates. The clerk said not to worry as it was an accident. The following year, we wre in the same store and the Highway bells were sounding for an oncoming CN freight whose tracks were a few hundred feet from the front door........unfortunately there was a rack of wind-chimes placed near the door, a few of them were made of glass Imagine ten wind chimes falling to the floor all because of a rail fan. I got off scott free once again. The worse of it all was the CN freight was a local with only two box cars. About two years ago the Sears store moved to the back of the Home Hardware store far from the tracks but I don't set foot near there.

[cpbloom]

1. You have 3 railroad calendars side by side on your wall and none of them are the current year, in fact the newest one is 4 years old; you just keep flipping them back to January at the end of the year.

2. When you start your computer a file plays recorded sounds of crossing gates coming down and a train blasting by at 70mph.

3. You shut down your computer and similar things happen as stated in #2.

4. You have a pop-up blocker on your computer setup so that everytime it blocks a pop-up ad, you hear recorded sounds from an Amtrak train horn.

and worse still.....

5. You deliberately goto sites that you know have lots of pop-ups just so you can hear that horn again.

[ungern]

How about this:

1) If you find out that a shortline is selling a GP-9 and you look at the equity on your house to see if you can get a second morgage to buy it.

2) And ask the nearest railroad how much it would cost to have 92 day inspections done on it.

Ungern

[Train Guy 3]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Big_Boy_4005

QUOTE: Originally posted by Heartland Flyer

Your watching a nascar race and you notice the NS has a mainline right by the speedway, and you watch for trains all day instead of the race.

What's NASCAR, and why would anyone want to watch something go in circles???[}:)][:D][;)]

National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing..... You gotta go to the races cause many are so close to train tracks.

[Anonymous]

You know you're a railfan when...
...you haven't had the above incident with silver, but only because you pride yourself on having a complete set of railroad flatware
...you also have a matching set of china
...if it wasn't in that same railroad's cookbook, you won't eat it
...you see a picture of Milwaukee Road 261's cab, and wonder, "how can they keep that locomotive so clean and shiny"
...it then inspires you to go polish up the steam locomotive in your back yard
...your collection of books is like the Library of Congress--for the United States of Railroadia
...your four cardinal directions aren't north, south, east, and west, but instead are Leland Stanford, Collis P. Huntington, Mark Hopkins, and Charles Crocker
...your car has no accelerator, but mysteriously has a large metal lever extending from the center of the dashboard, oops, backhead
...if you slam on the brakes hard enough, a red light on the hood starts flashing
...you can't take your car to rail yards anymore, because the crews mistake it for a locomotive
...your house bears an uncanny resemblance to LA Union Station
...you learned how to pronounce Sault St. Marie after studying the SOO Line
...you don't say Milwaukee Road, SOO Line, Nickel Plate, and Rock Island, but instead their full names
...you can compute tractive effort, factor of adhesion, and minimum horsepower per train, for practically anything on rails, but still can't figure the tip in a restaurant
...you carefully compare the new K-Line mikado to your own USRA light mikado in your back yard

Hope you had a laugh,
Daniel

[Sterling1]

How about this one:
Your mother or wife is watching jewelry on QVC on TV and they talk about a "Sterling" Silver necklace, and you look vainly for a British 4-2-2 Stirling locomotive.

Different spelling, similar pronounciation.

[Junctionfan]

1/ When someone says "I got a flat on the way" and you ask if it is 89feet or a depressed flat with 4 trucks

2/ When you think that the song "I've got the power" came from someone with great locomotive lash up

3/ You have the radio frequencies of all the railroads and their subdivisions memorised.

4/ Try to convince every restaurant you eat at to put up a train along the wall

5/ You look at the back of everyday products; check out the company; and research to see if they have a railspur.

6/ Some one refers to C.P.R and you automatically think Canadian Pacific

7/ Think that a GT snowracer is something that is used in the winter by CN

8/ You look in the mirror and complain about your weight by saying you look like a dimension load for a schnabel car instead of saying you look fat.

9/ You only change lanes if you get a flashing green

10/ You have enough model railroading stuff that will guarantee a loan from a bank.

11/ A train goes by and you give a running commentary about the locomotives and the rollingstock.

12/ You remember what the tank car's DOT code was 2 hours later.

13/ Your kids are being slow so you tell them to highball your butts in here right now.

14/ You chastise your kids for not knowing what BNSF stands for

15/ You think the boogie man is a guy who sells roadrailer attachments

16/ You say "I going to watch the TV" and your wife wonders if you are talking about the JVC or an ex Conrail Intermodal.

17/ You buy a house based on the size of layout you are looking to build

18/ You buy a house next to the tracks in a high crime neighborhood.

19/ You start to change the words of songs and commercial jingles to suit your railroading humour-"acel...acela brate your breath"

20/ You sign your name by crossing your tees with two lines and than add extra railroad ties.

[Sterling1]

How's this:
1) When you're shaking violently as the train passes while watching trains trackside.
2) Boring a fellow railfan and family relation on the many things on the trains while watching trains go by.
3) Shortness of breath and dry mouth from talking too much about trains.
4) Excessive drooling.

P.S. all of these things have to me personally while in upstate New York watching CSX.

[SALfan]

. . . you're drooling over a real hottie in a centerfold, and your wife doesn't mind because she knows it's a steam locomotive.

[SALfan]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Overmod

1) You take off running to get a clear view when you hear a train coming... leaving your grandkids behind...

2) You excuse yourself to go to the window of the boardroom to watch a train... leaving the rest of the meeting stalled because nothing happens without the CEO...

#2 - To steal a line from a Mel Brooks movie, "It's GOOD to be the king!"

[espeefoamer]

QUOTE: Originally posted by locomutt

QUOTE: Originally posted by espeefoamer

You don't work for a railroad,but your boss catches you riding the cab of a CF7 anyway[:p]!

That one is interesting,did that really happpen?
If so, sorry about the boss,hope you had a good time![:)]

This really happened[:D].My boss(married) was returning from one of his famous two hour lunches with his secretary,so he could'nt really say anything[:0].

[Anonymous]

You knwo you're a railfan when...
...talking in your sleep consists of repeating the DTC authorities of the prior day
...you vigorously assert that "steam locomotion is the highest achievment of the human intellect"
...your insults to people generally go along the lines of, "He can ride on the last diesel-electric as far as I care"
...you solved the classic math problem about the two trains going toward each other at different speeds by looking through the 1928 Official Guide
...whenever you leave the house, you say to nobody in particular, "This is engineer [insert name here] at Driveway; I'd like permission to enter the main"
...when the dispatcher is upset by running time on the hotshot intermodal, he calls your for reassurance
...your bumper sticker says, "My other car is an AC-4400CW"
...your other car is an AC-4400CW

Hope you had a laugh,
Daniel

[Noah Hofrichter]

You read these forums................

[Junctionfan]

I hope your wife doesn't read that[:D]

[Anonymous]

If she's copious, a large EMD built for the Union Pacific!

[Anonymous]

You think your wife's bra size is a GE locomotive, or maybe even an Alco.

[Anonymous]

The smell of creosote brings back good memories.

The dusty smell of an old hobby shop brings back good memories

The smell of diesel exhaust makes you feel like you're about to travel somewhere.

[andrechapelon]

1. You hear a train blow for a crossing and you floor your car so you can make to the crossing in time not to miss anything.

2. Apropos the above, you deliberately stop at a crossing just before the gates come down, thus annoying the bejeezus out of everyone behind you.

3. You actually know who the real Andre Chapelon was.

4. You ride a steam excursion in the UK that starts at about 7:30 in the morning and gets you back somewhere around midnight and you want to do it all over again the next morning.

5. You think a Nathan 5 chime air horn would make a cool hood ornament. Especially if it's fully functional.

6. You approach an intersection and startle onlookers and fellow drivers by blowing two longs a short and a long with your car's horn.

7. You know that a "Black 5" is a British 4-6-0.

8. A neighbor starts talking about an eccentric crank and you immediately start thinking about valve gear and not the nasty old geezer down the street.

Andre.

[Anonymous]

I am guilty of all of these:

You know you're a railfan when...
...you know and can explain the difference between limited approach and approach limited
...you stick your head out the window, get a large cinder in your eye, clean it out, and stick your head back out the window
...you have gone underneath a water tank to get out of the rain
... when landing from a flight, the first landmark you reckognize is a right of way
...you are irritated that you forgot one of the parts of Stephenson valve gear
...you were born into the end of the second generation diesel era, but think mostly of six 2-10-2's hauling a block of refrigerators and boxcars up Cajon pass

And here is one that I am not guilty of:
...you went into Walmart expecting them to sell eccentric cranks, reversing links, and valve rods (get it--Walmart, Walcheart...I know, bad pun)

See you around the forums,
Daniel

[Junctionfan]

1/ You fall asleep during the movie because it is boring but get all excited when the trains start showing up.

2/ You think a training room is a place of model railroading

3/ You only buy surround sound because of your train videos

4/ There is no such thing is too many trains to watch

5/ You panic because you can't find your camera and you see a headlight

6/ You railfan near a hornet's nest, get stung but decide despite the pain it was worth it

7/ A jeep cherokee sounds like an intreaging new EMD 4 axle engine

8/ You are told that you are as useful as a slug and take it as a compliment

9/ Someone says you have a B.O problem and think to yourself what do I have to do with the Baltimore and Ohio railroad

10/ Your familly checks up on you by calling the railroad instead of the police.

11/ You go through a quarter of gas to chase 1 train

12/ You consider installing a cathader in your car

13/ You are oblivious to all other things around but the train

14/ You play a recording of train sounds as relaxing therapy

15/ You correct children's books because they author got the terminology wrong or the illustrator made the locomotive wrong.

[locomutt]

For everbody,particularly Junctionfan,Your #5 sounds like me around 1967,I had to write an essay in my junior year of school,and wrote one on the Chesapeake & Ohio Railway. We had to read them aloud in class,I don't think the other kids cared,or payed
any attention. But I had fun,researching it.[:)]

[Anonymous]

...when you plan your route for work to end up somewhere near the tracks...i drive truck (yea yea, i'm the "enemy"..lol)...i haul gravel, asphalt, etc. in the summer...anyway, i was in joliet today, drove over the ex-sante fe, under the UP and over the CSX line to ottawa, IL all day. didn't see a one, just the last car of a dozen or so. i was pissed[:(!]