Our Hobby Has Lost a Member

[Anonymous]

Here's the story of a boy I know. I first came to know him due to both of us going to the same church. It first came to my attention that he loved trains when he was about five years old. He had a Life-Like set that was in pieces and I took it home and repaired it for him. I got to know him better and as he got older, he accumulated more HO trains. He was pretty rough with his toys and many times I had to do repairs on his trains. He really did love trains, though, and it wasn't just a passive interest and I gave him quite a few items that I had and didn't need. He had always wanted a crane and it was the biggest thrill of his life when I gave him a Tyco Santa Fe crane. His dad frequents auctions and garage sales and has found a lot of trains through them. By now this boy has amassed a collection of more than 10 engines and close to 50 cars.

Now, his parents are divorced and his dad lives in the city. The mother has custody and the father gets him on weekends and holidays. The father also has a restraining order preventing him from going to the boy's mother's home. About four of years ago, I realized that he ought to have a layout to run his trains on, instead of just setting up and taking down his trains on the floor. The trains would also probably not have to be repired as much, seeing as how they would be used in a better way. Given the situation with his dad, I built a layout for him. It was nothing fancy, just some track and accessories nailed to a 4x8.

Yesterday, I ran into the boy and his mother. The boy is going to be entering Grade 7 this fall. He asked me if I was still collecting trains and then told me that he's selling his trains. It seems that he has lost interest in them, certainly a huge contrast to the enthusiasm he had before. I headed over to his house to find the majority of his trains arranged haphazardly in a large box, almost as if they had just been thrown in there. A lot of trucks and wheels had come off and were in a container. Another large box contained everything from the layout, which was now dismantled-not dismantled in a methodical way, but literally ripped up, as all the track had broken ties where it had been nailed on the board. I took the whole lot home, went through it all and made my final repairs to the boy's trains. I kept two engines and a few cars that I wanted, as well as what buildings there were and gave him a fair price for them. The rest I all brought back to him. I'm not sure how he intends to sell them or if he ever will succeed in doing so.

Now, I had said that the majority or his trains were in this box. He is saving some trains (some better items, such as a Via Rail set and a steam engine) and this includes that crane I gave him years ago. This, however, I think is more because of his mother, who smartly told me that she would refuse to allow him to sell all of his trains. It's sad to see that he is no longer interested in trains, but I'm still very proud to have supported him in his model railroading evdeavours. I feel that I have done something to promote the growth of the hobby. It's a relief to see that he will still have some trains. Perhaps in later years, when he's an adult or has kids of his own, he will rediscover his trains and start up in the hobby again. I hope that will be the case.

[Train 284]

Great story. To bad he is not interested in trains anymore. **sniff sniff**

[Fergmiester]

Not all is lost. I can remember going through that stage and trashing several engines and cars. I played hard, too hard for what the stuff was designed for. Eventually it landed in a box and was packed away.... And 20 years laterI'm back with a vengence but in a kinder gentler way.

Sask, not to worry as with most kids they go through fads and trends. It will be what happens 20 years from now that really matters, trust me! You may have started something, it may take time for it to blossom

Regards

Fergie

[Anonymous]

It's always sad to lose a member...(Blows nose)...

uspscsx

[selector]

You can justifiably take comfort from your inteventions over the years, ST. Besides the boy thanking you (and thinking of you) in years to come, you must have beena God-send to his mother.

My compliments. [^][tup]

[dave9999]

Is that all, I thought someone had passed away. He's young and he has his entire life
to "get back in the groove". A kid that young has a lot of other things on his mind.
Girls and school, for instance. Not to mention the family problems.
Nice of you to try and help him though, Dave

[Anonymous]

Fergmiester, has a point.
I've loved trains ever since I can remember but never really got into it seriously. 3 years ago I saw a jeweller setting up a Z scale layout in his store window and that all it took. Now I'm not only a model railroader but a ardent collector.
Time will tell for this youngster. He is still discovering and experiencing new things. The day will come when he chooses his path.

[Trainnut484]

Sask,

Don't worry. All is not lost. The boy will get back into the hobby later in life. The most important part is that he won't forget you and the nice things you did for him. I think that will help him retain some of the passion for model trains.

Take care,

Russell

[Anonymous]

The dieses of train lovers syndrome, has no cure it can however become latent. I bet he will get symptoms (get interested again) later in life.

[dragenrider]

You made a difference in his life, you just can't see it right now. He'll remember you and your kindness, even if he never models again. You set an example for a child who will one day draw on his past experiences to relate in an adult world. Bravo, Bravo! [tup]

[ereimer]

he's not lost , he's just on a break .

he'll always own that crane and someday he'll build a layout around it

[howmus]

One of the magic words here was "7th. Grade" This is an age where most kids want to break away from anything they now think was part of them being a "child" since they are now "All Grown Up!!" You sir have made a difference in the life a child and that can stay with both of you for the rest of your lives. The day may come some time when he will want to tell you how much that meant and maybe even talk about his trains again. Time changes things. I taught Middle School Music for 19 years of my 32 year career. I am constantly amazed at those now 25 or 30 year old former students who see me around town and share with me that some little thing that I said or did made a difference to them. God bless all those who make a positive change in the lives of other people!

[loathar]

Yea, He's not lost, give him 15 or 20 years and he'll be here on the forums as a Newbie.
He'll remember the kindness you showed him and he'll be back when he has kids.
Your story accually broght a little tear to my eye.

[twhite]

That's a sad story, and even sadder because there might be a 'key' in it. You say that his father frequented auctions and helped the boy with his collection. You also say that the mother has a restraining order preventing the father visiting the boy at his mother's home. Perhaps the interest in trains was a father-son thing and the boy right now is feeling the pain of his father not being there to work with him on the trains. That could be one of the reasons (other than the boy being in 7th grade where all sorts of things suddenly start to happen, both socially and psychologically) why the boy has turned his back--temporarily, I hope--on the hobby. But good for you for being there and helping the boy while you could. Sometimes the mind-games that divorced parents play with the children--often without stopping to realize how damaging they are-- are more child-like than the kids involved. I hope he comes back to the hobby after a while--he probably will--but I don't think he's ever going to forget that an adult friend showed an interest in something he really liked. And with over 50% of today's kids not seeing at least one of their parents on a regular basis, what you did was a BIG help to him. I sincerely congratulate you for that.
Tom

[Anonymous]

I agree with the other replies. Just give him a few years and he will be back! That story is pretty much the same as mine. I had a love of model trains as a kid, but lost it during my teens. Now I'm back bigger that ever, and I'll bet he will be one day, too! I applaud your efforts to help him with his trains. You never know, it might just be his positive interaction with a you that brings him back to the hobby!

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the kind words. There's nothing especially unusual about a kid that age abandoning his trains. I bet a lot of forum members did the same. Right now his passion is learning to play guitar. I think he wants to buy some new guitar strings with the money he makes from selling his trains. Only time will tell whether that hobby will stay with him and whether or not he will ever get back into trains.

[BRAKIE]

Well,people leaving the hobby isn't any new thing new under the sun..Over the years I have seen lots of fly by night modelers that would come on strong,buy the best models made,buy lots of books,build a nice layout,join the NMRA and attend the local meets and them WHAM! They quit the hobby never to return or be seen again.
Folks,This is a hobby and like all hobbies people will come and go..Think of this how many forum members will stay in the hobby in the coming years? 60-70%?

[Darth Santa Fe]

When I read the topic for this I thought you were going to say that you've lost interest in trains and will be leaving the forum! >WHEW< Good thing I was wrong. Maybe that boy will get bored one day pretty soon and pull his trains out and get interested again. Then you can tell him about this forum and well have a new member!![:D][:D][:D][:D]

[grayfox1119]

Sask, I did the same thing that Fergie talked about, now I am heavily engaged, I love trains and modeling. I feel very badly for this young family. It is a sad fact that is repeated over and over in many parts of the industrialized nations. Families just can't stay together it seems. I get so angry at times at these mothers and fathers that I would like to take them out behind the shed, as they act like 10 year olds and the kids all suffer as well as society as a whole.
Hopefully this young lad will come back to the hobby down the tracks of life. We did.

[icmr]

I was that way after my Grandpa died when I was in 4th grade. I got back in the hobby when I was a Freshman in high school. Now I'm a Senior in high school and I'm working on my first "permanent" layout. Just give him a few years and he will choose his path. I hope he chooses trains.



ICMR

[MAbruce]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Sask_Tinplater

Only time will tell whether that hobby will stay with him and whether or not he will ever get back into trains.

True, but thanks to you he will have a better chance of coming back someday. You planted some seeds and they will hopfully grow in time. [:)]