Years ago when I was married, my ex-wife nagged (cranked actually) all the time about my model railroading. Wasn't spending enough time with her, spending to much money, took up all the living space in the house, etc. She had no concept of reality! I was left with no other choice but to run her off!
Nowadays, I'm single and can devote all my time, energy, space, and money to the model railroad. much better, much happier!
The problem is : I've met a girl who likes to build scenery (Shes actually pretty good at it!) and likes to railfan the narrow gauge on camping trips to Colorado. She seems to have a concept of reality! She brought up the marriage business the other day. Frankly, I don't know what to do?
Marry her?
Jeff But it's a dry heat!
Learn to build scenery yourself, introduce her to the single guys here, bring train related wedding gifts.
---OR---
Marry her yourself!
Marry her. My wife is an excellant at crafts, does all the grahics for me and when I run into a problem I ask her and usualy she helps me out. Remember modeling railroading is a family hobby. Your girlfriend sounds like she will be an asset to your hobby. It will turn out to be our hobby.
About two years ago I mentioned that using a hobby ruler is hard to design when you want to add details to a plan you are drawing. Two weeks later a CAD program arrived in the mail. Just one of the ways a wife can be a great help. Oh, now I use caliper for measuring and my plans are printed in scale.
First, have you had your head examined for brain tumors? Are you kidding? You have to ask?
"MARRY HER"
Rob
secondhandmodeler wrote:It'S A TRAP!!! RUN!!!
LOL He's probably not far off...RUN!!!!!!!!
Cederstrand wrote:First, have you had your head examined for brain tumors? Are you kidding? You have to ask?"MARRY HER" Rob
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My wife does not understand my model railroad hobby, but she supports the hobby 100%. She asks that I keep her informed of my train needs so she can get the right things for gifts for me. I have a train budget and I am free to spend as I see fit within my budget. (This is probabaly a wise thing to do even if you're not married.)
I have a nice 1800 Sq ft basement all to myself for the new layout. The only thing that I had to do to get my basement is buy her a new home to put on top of the basement to keep the rain and snow off of my trains.
If you have a loving wife and trains, what more could you want?
JIM
Jim, Modeling the Kansas City Southern Lines in HO scale.
If my wife of 32 years says "your choo choo's" one more time....TO THE MOON ALICE. She loves that I have a hobby like this, keeps me out of jail.
Sounds like a nice lady! Don't know if I'd really care to have my wife in the hobby with me personally though. I do my thing and she does hers. I'd rather work in solitude (or not at all!) myself.
Long time ago I discovered that my wife, like most women, seems to want to talk a fair amount. Not a nag or a constant yammerer, but she does seem to think that silence has to be filled with trivial talk. If I didn't hear it, it wouldn't make any difference in my life at all.
I retired about six years before she did, and I enjoyed taking breakfast and lunch by myself. I'd read the local paper with breakfast, and modeling or news magazines at lunch. Now it's fairly difficult as she keeps me informed of all sorts of things that I don't give a hoot about! That would not be fun for me in a hobby ewnvironment! Now I go downstairs to my hobby room to do whatever, watch TV, waste time on the computer, etc., all by myself in silence. She watches her TV upstairs. 40 years of marriage will do that!
Good luck in any case!
Bob Boudreau
CANADA
Visit my model railroad photography website: http://sites.google.com/site/railphotog/
I am pretty lucky as my wife is very supportive of the hobby...
Well, if everything else work sout for you guys and I would do it. If not, can I have her number, I know about 50 guys that would to take a swing.
Best Regards, Big John
Kiva Valley Railway- Freelanced road in central Arizona. Visit the link to see my MR forum thread on The Building of the Whitton Branch on the Kiva Valley Railway
Dr. Frankendiesel aka Scott Running BearSpace Mouse for president!15 year veteran fire fighterCollector of Apple //e'sRunning Bear EnterprisesHistory Channel Club life member.beatus homo qui invenit sapientiam
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. If it feels right do it. Besides what's the worse thing that could happen? Hostile Takeover??
Fergie
http://www.trainboard.com/railimages/showgallery.php?cat=500&ppuser=5959
If one could roll back the hands of time... They would be waiting for the next train into the future. A. H. Francey 1921-2007
canazar wrote: I am pretty lucky as my wife is very supportive of the hobby...
Really?? We hadn't noticed... (sweetie)
This is timely, because this evening my wife and I are celebrating 23 years of marriage.
It sounds like your first wife gave up because you probably didn't spend enough time with her, and any man who puts his hobbies ahead of his relationship with his wife is probably not ready for that kind of commitment.
That's not to say that you were all wrong and she was all right, but it does sound like neither of you really wanted to work very hard at being married.
And make no mistake about it, being married is hard work. We've been through plenty of ups and downs over the years, but we do our best to work through the lows so we can really enjoy the highs. If you throw in the towel over some small thing, again, you're not ready to be married.
I enjoy my hobbies, and my wife (generally) is supportive. She doesn't share my interest in trains, but then I don't ride rollercoasters with her. She likes to vacation at a beach house with a zillion relatives, I'd just as soon put my tent in the trunk and the bike on the rack and disappear for four days. But I go to the beach when the time comes, and she likes to camp, but usually only when there's rollercoasters nearby!
Together, we enjoy working on our house, raising our kids, and being involved in our community. We have a really good partnership.
Will she change after you get married? Count on it. The key is you have to change too. If you accept the fact that you have to make a transition to love and support her, then it's a lot easier to accept that she's going to look at the world differently once you establish your partnership. That's called growing together.
If you expect to be the same man at 40 or 50 that you were at 20, again, you're not ready to live with another human being. If the trains are your be all and end all, I suggest you get a dog for companionship.
Lee
Route of the Alpha Jets www.wmrywesternlines.net
When it comes down to it, it's really up to you. No one here can tell you what to do which I'm sure you realize.
I personally won't ever get married again. I learned about women a long time ago and have no illusions about them or what they can do to a guys life. I like being single, being left alone and doing what I want to when ever I want to without someone finding fault with everything I do. As for the guys that are into being married, having kids and always saying how much they love their wives and all that jazz, good for them. It's just not for me.
And that folks is another point added to my post count.
Tracklayer
wm3798 wrote:This is timely, because this evening my wife and I are celebrating 23 years of marriage.It sounds like your first wife gave up because you probably didn't spend enough time with her, and any man who puts his hobbies ahead of his relationship with his wife is probably not ready for that kind of commitment.That's not to say that you were all wrong and she was all right, but it does sound like neither of you really wanted to work very hard at being married.And make no mistake about it, being married is hard work. We've been through plenty of ups and downs over the years, but we do our best to work through the lows so we can really enjoy the highs. If you throw in the towel over some small thing, again, you're not ready to be married.I enjoy my hobbies, and my wife (generally) is supportive. She doesn't share my interest in trains, but then I don't ride rollercoasters with her. She likes to vacation at a beach house with a zillion relatives, I'd just as soon put my tent in the trunk and the bike on the rack and disappear for four days. But I go to the beach when the time comes, and she likes to camp, but usually only when there's rollercoasters nearby!Together, we enjoy working on our house, raising our kids, and being involved in our community. We have a really good partnership.Will she change after you get married? Count on it. The key is you have to change too. If you accept the fact that you have to make a transition to love and support her, then it's a lot easier to accept that she's going to look at the world differently once you establish your partnership. That's called growing together. If you expect to be the same man at 40 or 50 that you were at 20, again, you're not ready to live with another human being. If the trains are your be all and end all, I suggest you get a dog for companionship.Lee
This sums it up for me..my last wife was not into my hobby at all...at least my current spouse is supportive but not really as into it as I am...and I stop or limit my time to devote to my family...they will always be more important.
Bob Berger, C.O.O. N-ovation & Northwestern R.R. My patio layout....SEE IT HERE
There's no place like ~/ ;)
[being left alone and doing what I want to when ever I want to without someone finding fault with everything I do.]
***I can do all that with my first and only wife. We support each other 100%. The only thing I can't do now is date other women.
To the original question: it depends on the wife.
Mine is not a hinderance and is occasionally helpful. I have odd hobbies like wargaming, robotics, game programming, and model railroading. She does taekwondo (got her black belt about a year ago), knits, makes jewelry, and watches a lot of 'crime drama' and documentaries on serial killers (okay, that bit scares me). She's not much interested in my hobbies and I'm not much interested in hers - but we both listen to the other about our interests as much as we can stand to. :)
We're both in the same business, though, and have worked together for half of our married lives - including at our own company - so I guess we do have that in common. We end up in a lot of very geeky business discussions no matter where we go or what we're doing. Fun.
We were both 20 when we got married and just hit year 17. It's not always 100% smooth but I guess I got pretty lucky. Plus she makes *bank* so I put up with her. ;)
M
What's a post count? Well, $0.90 and a post count buys a cup of coffee at your favourite coffee shop.
Bob Boudreau and I must have married sisters, because it is exactly the same for me at 31 years of marriage. She watches her one soap that I tape for her every morning when she is at work or out and about, and also watches her CSI clones...upstairs. The computer and my layout are separated by about 10 linear feet, so I hang out in the basement. In fairness, I do a lot of work on the computer, too.
I suggested to my wife this morning that I had a line on a good deal for a N&W Trainmaster with sound. All I got was a grunt. I guess I shouldn't complain because she agreed to give me a Y6b for Christmas. I figure I am lucky because she really does support my ha...hobby.
Cederstrand wrote: [being left alone and doing what I want to when ever I want to without someone finding fault with everything I do.]***I can do all that with my first and only wife. We support each other 100%. The only thing I can't do now is date other women. Rob
I resemble that!
My wife established what scale and prototype I would model in July 1960. All it took was a brass locomotive for my birthday!
Later that year we were married. Now, 47 years later, the loco is still running - and so is the marriage.
Sometimes you get lucky!
Chuck (modeling Central Japan in September, 1964)
Wow what a question. Marriage is about so much more than getting along with each other's hobbies. Generally speaking, you're headed for divorce court if you place a hobby before family, I'd say in those first crucial 10 years or so. My wife still works but I'm retired and every friday I clean the house, and I mean clean it good, from the bathrooms to dusting to vacuuming.. the works. Every Friday. Why shouldn't I! She's still in the work force and I'm not. I take her out to eat often. Heck, she's tired when she comes in.
Someone mentioned that she'll change after the ring is on. Don't we all? At 64 I'm nothing like what I was a 24, and that's a good thing. I don't think I could even stand myself. You should accept the fact that, she may.. not necessarily will... NOT like trains after you're married. Liking trains may be just a way to be around you and show she's interested in what you do. You'd be wise to reciprocate.
The short answer is no one really knows, but she sure sounds like a good partner.. provided she's not a serial killer or something like that.. :)
Jarrell
Now that is a stupid question.
Rich
If you ever fall over in public, pick yourself up and say “sorry it’s been a while since I inhabited a body.” And just walk away.
I think it can go both ways...but it can mirror the relationship in general. When my 1st wife and I were married, the trains got plenty of attention from both of us. As that relationship soured over the next 20 years, the trains started becoming a point of contention (like everything else I said, did or thought).
Fast forward several years, my current (and final) wife (whom I should have married 28 years ago) thinks what I do in the hobby is great! She does not participate in the modeling (even though I have tried) but is a great help at shows and at club functions. She posesses a full appreciation for what I call the "artistry of the hobby", and I am trying to make a railfan out of her (slowly). She's very supportive and I am greatful for it. But then again, she's that way with just about everything I do. From home improvement projects, to fixing the cars, to trying to play guitar (with 10 thumbs),to handling my kids, to cutting the grass, she's always there to lend a hand or support. Thats just the way the relationship is.
Funny thing, about the only thing the ex and the wife both agreed on, they would rather me play with my trains than spend my money at the bar!