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How do you know if your train might too long? (more added)

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Posted by Guilford Guy on Sunday, September 9, 2007 2:37 PM
Your trains to long, when the brakeman's hours are up before he's finished walking the train.
Your train is 1 million cars long...
Your train is too long when the combined roster of UP's, NS', CSX's, CN's, and CP's car fleets leaves no cars on any other train in any other yard and takes UP's entire loco roster, including 3695 and 844 to move the train at 5 miles per hour.

Alex

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Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, September 9, 2007 2:11 PM

I'm having too much fun with this -

You know your train is too long when:

-Your yard goats are Big Boys, Cab-Forwards, C-8's, Y6b's, R-2's, and Z-5's, in pairs!

-Microsoft Train Simulator won't run your train without freezing, even on "Deep Blue", the super computer

-Union Pacific put in an order for freight locomotives like the ones they saw at your layout open house

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Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, September 9, 2007 1:31 PM

As you advance the throttle on the struggling locomotives, your phone rings to inform you that your power usage is gaining on the Utility's ability to supply it.

Another would be the use of 6x6 or 8x8 Oak benchwork under your track.

You stop some feet away from the signal so that the run-in of the slack does not push you past the Absolute stop signal.

Visitors fall asleep counting cars as they pass.

Your Rolling Stock money value far exceeds any possible revenue for the entire train.

You install Cog Gearing in the middle of the track and equipt your locos with very large motors to drive the gear.

Finally, you arrive in the outermost town on the railroad while the dispatcher waits paitently for the Yard Tower to call in your departure.

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Posted by mikesmowers on Sunday, September 9, 2007 12:53 PM
   So funny,  I thought of this one.... When you start the train to moving and before it gets all the slack out, all the  locos EXPOLDE in a ball of fire and black smoke fills the train room...Your train might be to long     Mike
Modeling Trains Is Not A Matter Of Life Or Death, It Is Much More Important Than That!!
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Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, September 9, 2007 12:32 PM

You know your train is to long when:

-The tail end starts to move several minutes after the head end (coupler slack)

-When all other club members have to operate helpers

-You have to momentarily apply full throttle when starting, so you can determine by sound if the locomotives have stalled on dirty track

-Someone else warns you that your train has derailed about 37 cars back from the mid-helper

-You string line your consist - on a grade, not a curve

-The rule book states backing the train is not permitted - period

-The brakeman takes one look at the consist, and goes home

-The driver traction tires peel off on starting

-If the room lights fade when you apply throttle

-You can feel the weight of the train through the vibration in the floor

-The 36 hours you spent on working automatic crossing gates, lights, detectors, etc... was a pure waste of time - they just stay down anyway

-The talking hot box detector curses at you

Wait, One More

-Your locomotive scratch building and detailing material list includes concrete, lead, cast iron, uranium 236, old Chevy 454 engine blocks, industrial motors from Baldor, Westinghouse, and General Electric , and Preiser sumu wrestler figures for the crew

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Posted by PASMITH on Sunday, September 9, 2007 8:41 AM
If you can read this entire forum thread before your caboose passes, your train is too long.

Peter Smith, Memphis
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Posted by nscaler711 on Sunday, September 9, 2007 1:39 AM
If all the DD40's cannot pull the train on a down hill slope!

Army National Guard E3
MOS 91B

I have multiple scales now
Z, N, HO, O, and G.  

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Posted by Beyer-Garratt 6040 on Sunday, September 9, 2007 1:37 AM

When you are heading down a grade with full reverse and gaining speed then your train might be too long.

When you stall going up a grade and the weight of your train drags you back to the start of the grade, then your train might be too long.

When double-headed Garratts cannot move the train on level track, then your train might be too long.

When your seven loco diesel lash up with over 27000Hp cannot shift the consist, then your train might be too long.

When the automatic signalling goes from red to amber and then to green and the brake van is still in the green section, then your train is too long.

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Posted by Dallas Model Works on Saturday, September 8, 2007 12:58 PM

If your locos are in your basment and your caboose is still back at the hobby store, your train might be too long.

 

 

Craig

DMW

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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, September 8, 2007 10:34 AM

If the yard consumed all availible man power, the entire work day and refueled the switchers a number of times; the train may be too long.

Best to build these long trains during holiday periods when all of Dispatch and Higher are on vacation somewhere sunny so they dont stress too much.

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Posted by SpaceMouse on Saturday, September 8, 2007 7:53 AM

If you have your momentum turned off and it still takes more than one lap to stop, your train might be too long.

If you have to get permission from more than two yardmasters to make a runaround move, your train might be too long.

If you need more than two throttles to program all the locos in your consist and it still takes a shove from the yard switcher to get moving, your train might be too long.   

Chip

Building the Rock Ridge Railroad with the slowest construction crew west of the Pecos.

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Posted by John Busby on Saturday, September 8, 2007 3:10 AM

Hi

guys

I though it was when the loco leaves the depot and the caboose is at the next depot down the line

Old MR rule of thumb have three times Max train length between depots.

I think the person referring to the expecting lady is talking about the old Ghan train to Alice SpringsSmile,Wink, & Grin [swg]

regards John

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Posted by twcenterprises on Saturday, September 8, 2007 2:25 AM

Expectant Lady (about 9 months along, due any day now) to Conductor:  "How much longer until we get to our destination?"

Conductor:  "Unknown, we'll get there eventually."

Lady:  "What happens if I go into labor?"

Conductor:  You're familiar with the reputation of this train, I take it?"

Lady:  "Yes."

Conductor:  "Then you should have known not to board this train in your present condition." 

Lady:  "When I got on this train, I *wasn't* in this condition!"

Brad 

EMD - Every Model Different

ALCO - Always Leaking Coolant and Oil

CSX - Coal Spilling eXperts

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Posted by mj5890 on Friday, September 7, 2007 9:40 PM

If you train is pulled by all of UP's big boys then your train is too long

If you have 40' wooden reefers on one the front of your train and at the end of the train the switch crew (in a difrent state) is putting the last cut of BNSF grain cars on the end and attaching the EOT,  then your trian is too long and you probably have alot of costomers waiting for some of the cargo that's in the front of the trainWink [;)]

1 BNSF 2 Amtrak 3 UP 4 everybody else I try really hard not to have to try hard at anything hard at all because that would be hard I never recommend my recommendations
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Posted by nscaler711 on Friday, September 7, 2007 8:18 PM

 mikesmowers wrote:
   Lots of humerous answers, That's good.   Was wondering. What's a FRED? Seen it several times here on the forums but still I am it the dark.     Mike

A FRED is an EoT device (End Of Train) it detects air pressure lenght and tonnage of the train and it replaced the caboose all you do is attach it to the coupler and hook up the train air line to it.

Army National Guard E3
MOS 91B

I have multiple scales now
Z, N, HO, O, and G.  

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Posted by arkansasrailfan on Friday, September 7, 2007 8:08 PM
Flashing Rear End Device.


You know your train is too long when it takes 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years for the slack to run out. ( that's the number "google", and yes, it is real.)( missed some zeros)

you know your train is too long when the local power substaion MELTS.

you know your train is too long when one of your tank cars rip in to pieces from too much stress
(it really happened on the real thing, just look in last months TRAINS)

you know your train is too long when your power grinds it's way all through the benchwork.

you know your train is too long when the slack runs in and you have a 100000000000000000000000000000000000 googleplex car pile up

this thread is the most hilarous (ive laughed so much!!) hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaahahahahahahaha!!!!
-Michael It's baaaacccckkkk!!!!!! www.youtube.com/user/wyomingrailfan
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Posted by mikesmowers on Friday, September 7, 2007 7:25 PM
   Lots of humerous answers, That's good.   Was wondering. What's a FRED? Seen it several times here on the forums but still I am it the dark.     Mike
Modeling Trains Is Not A Matter Of Life Or Death, It Is Much More Important Than That!!
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Posted by NeO6874 on Friday, September 7, 2007 7:21 PM

if the train is led by a 4-4-0 and 40' cars, and end up with 85' autoracks and a FRED... it might be a bit long..

-Dan

Builder of Bowser steam! Railimages Site

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Posted by trainboyH16-44 on Friday, September 7, 2007 5:28 PM
Your train might be too long if the slack is longer than your longest siding...

Go here for my rail shots! http://www.railpictures.net/showphotos.php?userid=9296

Building the CPR Kootenay division in N scale, blog here: http://kootenaymodelrailway.wordpress.com/

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Posted by ENGINEER BOBBY D on Friday, September 7, 2007 5:10 PM
A GOOD TRAIN CAN NEVER BE TOO LONG!  Smile,Wink, & Grin [swg]
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Posted by nscaler711 on Friday, September 7, 2007 4:52 PM
your train may be too long if you notice your caboose is missing off the end of your train and your engines are where the caboose used to be!

Army National Guard E3
MOS 91B

I have multiple scales now
Z, N, HO, O, and G.  

  • Member since
    April 2003
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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, September 7, 2007 2:44 PM
Yeah!Laugh [(-D]
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Posted by Guilford Guy on Friday, September 7, 2007 2:42 PM
 steemtrayn wrote:

If you spit out the cab window while going over a trestle, and, on the return trip you can still see your spit going down, then the trestle is too high.

 

Oh, wait...wrong thread.Sign - Oops [#oops]

Hmm, means you have awfully good vision. 

Alex

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Posted by secondhandmodeler on Friday, September 7, 2007 11:28 AM
If you can read an entire 'weekend photo fights' before your train passes by, you just wasted an hour of your life. Oh, I mean your train may be too long!Whistling [:-^]
Corey
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Posted by trainnut57 on Friday, September 7, 2007 11:18 AM

SoapBox [soapbox]

If your first car unhooks from the locomotive during startup, your train mught be a tad to long.Laugh [(-D]

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Posted by steemtrayn on Thursday, September 6, 2007 10:16 PM

If you spit out the cab window while going over a trestle, and, on the return trip you can still see your spit going down, then the trestle is too high.

 

Oh, wait...wrong thread.Sign - Oops [#oops]

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Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, September 6, 2007 10:01 PM

 

  I don't remember if I heard it on the radio or my Mother singing it. It wasin the late 40s.

 

  " The longest train I ever saw, was comeing from Joe Johnson's coal mine. The engine passed at half past two, the caboose came by at nine"

 

  Perhaps I've dated myself.

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Posted by hiawatha101 on Thursday, September 6, 2007 9:29 PM
If there's a new 1949 Mercury at the station your train left from and a new 1961 Impala at the station it just arrived at, your train might be too long.
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Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, September 5, 2007 11:44 AM

Qoute 

 

If your passengers can board a train walk to the dining car and have lunch in the next station then walk to the front car and exit at their destination station and the train hasn't moved, your train might be too long.

 End qoute

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Posted by DigitalGriffin on Wednesday, September 5, 2007 10:43 AM

Good thread Chip.  There are some real funny ones in here.   

As someone from my local club said, "Any thing less than 150 cars is a local."  Laugh [(-D]

If you grew a beard by the time you connected your last rolling stock, your train might be too long.

If your accelerated clock needs to run slower than real time to disconnect all your cars, your train might be too long. 

If you have to call an electrician to install new amp service in the breaker box for boosters, your train might be too long.  (Sadly I'm close to doing this.)

If your train takes 1 minutes to accelerate and decelerate in DCC and accel vars 2 and 3 are 0, your train might be too long.

If Kadee creates a new titanium coupler just for you, your train might be too long.

If you write the manufacturer to tell them to ramp up production of a particular car so you can add more, your train might be too long.  (I'm looking at your branchline blueprint series)

BTW: My C&O George Washington is up to 15 cars, each about a foot long.  For a passenger train, that's huge!

Don - Specializing in layout DC->DCC conversions

Modeling C&O transition era and steel industries There's Nothing Like Big Steam!

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