Be Careful Where you Cut Corners!

[loathar]

[#ditto][#ditto][#ditto]

[jeffers_mz]

Mondotrains,

You posted it, so I assume you were expecting feedback, but this may not be in the vein you were looking for. For what it's worth...

People complain. I had an old boss tell me once, (you really want to watch those old guys, they have screwed it all up long before you ever got around to thinking about trying it the first time, and they have a lot of stuff down pat), "If they're complaining, it means all is well, it's when they shut up and go quiet that you really have to start paying attention."

I suspect there's some more of this that hasn't made the telling yet, perhaps it hasn't even crossed your radar yet. It may be an extension of, and perhaps related to your friends cheapskatedness, and it may be something not yet addressed. But for some reason, the group in general took a lower opinion of your friend, he picked up on it, and decided he didn't want to continue. At that point he took steps to prevent the unwanted situation from recurring. I think it's important for you to know exactly what it was that made the group look down on him. Was it just the cheapskatedness? Was it a direct result of that? Were there other factors involved? Did he treat you all "cheaply" too, try to "save money" on the friendship, expecting more work out of you on his pike while delivering less than expected on other people's layouts? Did he smell bad? Missing teeth, big nose, obnoxious kids, what? Get the best fix you can on it, then go ask him about it. Be prepared to listen and not talk. Be prepared to draw him out. Plan on going in, getting the data from the horse's mouth directly, and getting back out without offering one single thought or defense of your own.

Once you have the most complete information possible, chew it over, work it around, add it up till it makes the best sense you can get out of it. If you find a "gap", fill it in, if possible, another talk with him, with others, whatever it takes. Then, and only then can you begin to lay plans. Recon, plan, execute, separate operations, in that order.

But firsdt, you have to answer one question for yourself. Do you want him as a friend? Yes or no? If the answer is yes, then a second question comes front and center. Is it mathematically possible to have him as a friend in the group of your other friends, or are there dynamics that make a one to one deal with him more likely to succeed? Does perhaps one other person sit at a nexus of crossing lines of antagonism and need to be gently moved to an outer orbit?

If you decide that you want him as a friend, and that the group will work with him as a member, the first step is to repair the relationship between him and you. You may not want to include trains in the process at first. Coupla beers, a cookout, whatever it takes to open the doors of communication, and slowly, deal with the conflicts you already have figured out. You don't have to "fix" anything, just acknowleging that there were problems, that you still like the guy, that you want him as a friend is a good start.

Then you ease trains back into the picture. "Middle of a beer session, "hey man, I have a problem, need an extra pair of hands for just a minute, can you help me out"?

Ask his advice.

Ask his opinion.

Find a problem, discuss it with him, then "fix" it HIS way.

Make sure whatever question you raise is something you can live with before you raise it. If you pose the question as multiple choice, it limits the damage he can potentially inflict on your layout.

Ease into the group thing later on.

If you want him, you already have him.

What, you think he's completely changed his spots? Long freights, pounding diesels, shiny rails, complex turnouts don't hold his interest anymore? I don't see it. The things that drew him in in the first place are still there.

Schedule a third guy to maybe show up at a beer session. Show the third guy the kewl new whatever you just added to your layout. Your old friend is unlikely to sit in the living room waiting for you to come back, instead he will tag along. What's his strong point? Scenery? Wiring? Operations? Modelling? Ease the conversation in that direction.

Once you have the group back together, somebody is going to exercise some leadership to keep it together. Why not you?

Yes, people complain, but many times it gets to be a habit to direct those complaints in one direction. Many groups have a "whipping dog", but that only works when the dog likes being whipped. Some are comfortable in that role, others aren't. If you see that kind of thing developing, it's easy to nip it in the bud.

"No, we ragged on Frank last week. It's Joe's turn today and we can start with those ears. Jeeeze Joe, can you really pick up signals from Neptune with those things, or do they just LOOK like satellite dishes? How 'bout Uranus? Can you hear Uranus?"

If that doesn't get things moving in a new direction, it's a pretty sad group.

Behind the scenes, a little more may be necessary. One on one, "Frank, it's just too darn hot to work in the basement today, can we stay upstairs and knock out some boxcars or something?" "Jimmy, you're kinda rough on Joe, what's the deal?" Praise in public, criticize in private.

It's not too hard to keep a group together, but it isn't always an automatic success. Siometimes one gear needsa a tweak or some grease to keep it tuned up and functioning well.

From what you say in your original post, you might still be able to pull things together, but it's not a sure thing either. I think the most important thing is to figure out what each party is looking for and try to figure out how they can get it, without giving up something that they or others simply can't live without. When you look at it in those terms, it's not hard to tell whether it will work or not, but the first step is a valid overall view of what it is each one wants. it's not about trains, or a PITA job like gluing spikes, it's about people getting what they want and avoiding what they don't want.

When somebody goes silent, it's an alarm bell.

[BRAKIE]

As far as lights for the layout I use 2 floor lamps with 100 watt bulds..Guess what? This system works very well for those of us that know very little about wiring and chooses not to pay to have it done or ask somebody else to do it...Also I need not worry about the fire codes or if my house burns down the insurance company trying to use my layout lighting for the cause...

[Tom Bryant_MR]

QUOTE: Originally posted by jecorbett

To the fellow who bought his shop lights at Walmart and is now considering going to buy more expensive ones I'd say he might not want to rush out and buy the new ones.
I bought a long string of shop lights at Walmart for my layout for about the price he stated and they have worked beautfully for two years now. I have had none of the flickering problems mentioned in the original post except for one bulb which I replaced. Problem solved. Give the Walmart lights a chance. You may find you don't need the more expensive ones. You don't always have to buy top of the line equipment. In some cases it is worth it but other times, you can get away with a cheaper substitute. It's all a matter of knowing when.

Well, I am happy to report that the Walmart kit works. It's model 8045. It comes with a 5ft cord, attached 3 prong plug, hanging chains and hooks. All for just under $8. Yesterday I bought a package of 2 GE (T12 I think) 25 watt bulbs for under $3. Last night I used it while I painted the garage. No flicker. I've nothing to judge the "quality" of the light on as there are only bare walls and floors so far - well ... a lot of stuff sitting in middle of floor. There's a picture of it in my last photo in the Contruction update link below my sig.

[Anonymous]

Good God. Yall will argue about anything.